Tribeca Tribal

Three Islands and a Boot: Malta, Sicily, Rome

Phyllis Steen Tours and Travels is open for business - but be wary about taking the proprietor's travel advice.

She thought she was so smart, taking a Saturday night flight to Germany, thinking the plane would be empty, because who travels in the middle of a weekend? Well, everyone who is stretching their American holiday to the very last moment, damn the jet lag, that's who. So the flight was packed, the inbound flight an hour late and thoughts of the 2 1/2 hour layover in Munich were slipping away.

Finally, on the plane, waiting for the door to close, when another delay occurs - two people who checked in for the flight aren't on-board, so their luggage needs to be found and off-loaded. Now, how much of a ditz does one need to be to schlep out to Newark, check luggage - and then not manage to board? Were they, perhaps, in one of the swell airport bars? Spending those Euros at the duty free? I mean, come on!

Bags dispatched and so are we, with the crew promising that we'll arrive on schedule because the headwinds that delayed the inbound flight will be our tailwinds, blowing us across the Atlantic quickly, quickly. And there's probably some padding built into the schedule, to ensure on-time stats are high. But I don't care.

As always, I watched the weather forecast for weeks, to ensure that my carry on contained only the necessary clothing, with the right accessories to deal with dinner in Rome and nights 3000 meters up in Enna. I stuffed the 21 pockets of my electronics vest, sturdy black cotton that, when full, looked like something a suicide bomber would wear. And I chose my meds, wondering which mix of pharmaceuticals would maximize my odds of sleeping in coach. For this trip, I selected a fetching hot pink generic Benadryl, plus my normal bedtime baubles. As soon as I was belted in to my seat, I swallowed my potions, hoping for a few hours of sleep uninterrupted by an airline meal. And it worked!

For only the second time in my life (the first being prone, after being bumped to first class), I slept for the entire trans-Atlantic flight. Now, that is only 5 hours, but it is vastly preferable to spend those hours... unconscious... then to spend them strapped into a tiny seat on a packed airplane.

We got into Munich on time, and soon I was aboard Air Malta, an airline I had never heard of, much less thought about. I pushed back my even tinier seat and was rewarded by a stream of invective, in German, and a strong shove back up-right. I mentally rolled over, and snoozed for most of the 2 hour flight to Malta, where I was met by the hotel car. A short while later, I was at my very new, very lovely - and breathtakingly cheap - hotel, wondering how, when I had slept so soundly, I could be... tired.

The next morning, I awoke and, with breakfast, took the traveler's friend - 200 MG of caffeine - to help my body adjust to be wrenched into a time zone 6 hours off from where it thought it should be. I took one of the 1950's British buses to Valetta, Malta's tiny capital - 600 meters wide, 1,000 meters long - which the guidebook speculated was the smallest on earth, absent, perhaps, Lichtenstein. Hmm... I thought, has Andorra been considered? Does anyone even remember it is there, perched in the Pyrenees, the home of shockingly cheap duty free alcohol - and little else. But the sun is shining and I my mind is in overdrive wondering how I escape the hordes of tourists - and where I find light weight clothes, because Malta has suddenly, and unexpectedly, decided that it is summer, with the temperature hitting 90 degrees.

I am overdressed, in black jeans and a long-sleeve black sports top. How did this happen? It was 78 degrees in Malta on Friday and the temperature had been trending the way it should, now that Fall was upon us. Admittedly, Fall in the southern Mediterranean, but, still. I spied an Adidas shop and was soon dressed in the engineered fabrics that are a traveler's salvation. Since the pants, which I needed anyhow, have wide legs, I will be able to wear my favorite money belt in the Sicily, whose pick pockets my driver from the airport warned me about. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I prepared for Sicily by re-watching The Godfather I and II. Sicilians are not an unknown quantity to a native New Yorker.

The tourist horde question was easily answered - the very long line into the Baroque cathedral was the GROUP line - the INDIVIDUAL line was... non-existent. So I was inside a cathedral that re-defined my concept of Baroque - it was wondrously ornamented. Spectacular. And, as long as I avoided the main part of the church, where tour guides droned on in German, I was free to wander and look at inlaid floors with each rectangle covering, I assumed, some worthy citizen's remains.

There are 25 churches in Valetta, but, having seen the Cathedral, I was done with churches for the day. After all, I have the rest of Malta - and all of Sicily - ahead of me - and more churches than a Jewish girl should have visited behind me. So off I wandered, down the grid of streets that is peninsular Valetta - but a grid that rises and falls and ends at the sea.

After lunch, I watched commercial Valetta close down, for its 1 - 4 PM siesta. Since I was hot and jet-lagged, I wandered over to a park on the ramparts and found a small tree with a bench under it. The ramparts are called bastions, which is one of those words whose meaning you both know and never think about. I would have said "refuge" - but here I am, up behind the town walls, in what is clearly a defensive fortification.

Now, dear reader, gentle friend, I have had jet-lag in many places - I have been nudged by a solicitous guard at the Louvre, while sitting on a bench, merely closing my eyes - but nothing looked as welcoming as that park bench and soon, shoes off, I was lying derelict upon it, watching windblown white clouds in blue sky. Under my tree, it was cool and breezy - though I longed for a hammock, I really couldn't complain - and there I whiled away my siesta, watching the sky and listening to a group of Maltese youth who were hanging out on a bench nearby.

Malti is a Semitic language, related to Hebrew and Arabic - but the Maltese (people, not the dogs - or the falcon), are not fond of people saying their national tongue sounds like Arabic - because it doesn't. Sometimes it sounds like Italian. Sometimes, especially in the guttural H sounds, it sounds like Arabic, but, mostly, it sounds like the language of an ancient isle located just south of Sicily and north of North Africa in an area that has seen lots of action over thousands of years. And, since it is written in Roman letters, it makes Polish - and Welsh - look comprehensible.

The thing about Malta is that it keeps reminding me of other places. The ancient capital, Midna, is short for Medina, the Arabic word for city. And outside the walls of Midna, and on Gozo, is Rabat - the capital city of Morocco. The stone enclosed upper windows on the 2 story houses remind me wooden Egyptian ones, the winding streets of Midna speak to me of Fes.

The blocky buildings remind me of blocky buildings in many places. And then, of course, there is McDonald's - Pizza Hut - KFC- Ben and Jerry's - and Burger King. But that's what's interesting about Malta (the country, not the Caribbean beverage) is just how much of a blend of cultures it is, while retaining its identity.

Historically, most people know of the Knights of Malta. sea farers from the north, but, in walled cities like Midna, the life of the Maltese aristocracy is on display. It is a tiny, beautiful city on a hill. It is, alas, also the first time I was charged a Senior Citizen's entry fee - the cutoff age is 61, so I actually qualify, saving 5 Euro. I am depressed none-the-less. I thought I had several more years to prepare for it. OMG!!!

I am staying in St. Julian's, a coastal resort city towards the north. My hotel is on the edges of Paceville, where the young come for cheap drink and hard partying. So while the hotel is great, the transportation convenient and there are a lot of restaurants, which mostly remind me of Greek diners, except Greek diners in England serving Italian food - and there is a generic beach tourist feeling to the place. Various places advertise "10 tequila shots, 9 Euro" and similar deals and, late at night, the sounds of drunken revelers can wake the dead. Last night, a voice was screaming FUCK for a very long time, with his girlfriend screaming back to keep things lively. And, in the morning, the sound of construction starts smartly at 8 so, despite the cool evening breezes, keeping the windows closed and the air conditioner on at night has a lot to recommend it.

On the positive side, my hotel room has a tiny terrace, an amenity that I have grown extremely fond of when they're shaded, breezy and have a view of water. Why repair to a cafe, when I can watch the rituals of the street below? the woman who comes to visit at 6 each night, welcomed eagerly by the household's two small white dogs. The elderly woman who sits on her terrace, writing in a journal. The small front yards, barren of plans and soil, because water in Malta comes from desalinization or, in the old days, from rainwater collected in cisterns.

Like most southern Europeans, the Maltese are a compact people - if you think about Picasso late in life, you have the type. Older women tend towards grandmotherly stoutness. Here and there you see a ten year old en route to a well padded life.

It is a good thing that the Maltese are the size they are - otherwise, they could not ride their buses, which barely accommodate my legs. It is painful to see tall young Germans board one - if there are empty seats, his legs won't fit, if he has to stand, his head won't fit. The buses are destined to be replaced next year, with handicapped accessible ones and, one would hope, air conditioned. I learn this from the man seated next to me on the ride back from Valetta, a divorced grandfather, which means he's a contemporary. We are discussing politics, and he mentions that his sister-in-law is such a strict Catholic (98% of Maltese are Catholic) that he cannot bring a girlfriend to holiday dinners, so he doesn't attend. Though he says he loves Christ, he hates religion. We could be friends.

These observations about body sizes ignore the Neolithic statues unearthed from sites around the island. These women were very, very zaftig - those Sicilian farmers who settled the island thousands of years ago, liked women with AMPLE hips and boobs.

Malta's Neolithic past significantly predates the pyramids and Stonehenge - I don't know how it stacks up against new discoveries of "old Europe" in Romania. But these people, who little is known about, were quite sophisticated builders, sculpting the walls of mass underground communal graves to look like they were assembled from stones. And large carved spheres thought to be ball bearings, used to move large stones. The underground grave site was painted with red ocher circular designs, as were the bones buried in them. At another site near by are carved stones, some with the same circular patterns, some with bulls. It is known that these early people traded across the sea, these thousands of years ago.

When I was in Sarquaa, Egypt last year, the site of the first attempts at pyramids, there was a museum to their builder that had signs proclaiming "the first project manager" "the first stone transom." I wondered what other cultures they had included in their claims. Now it is clear that they skipped Neolithic Malta. Admittedly, the building of the Hypogieum was built in stages, with new chambers dug as more capacity was needed for bones. But a look at the chamber called "The Oracle" makes it clear that a people of real sophistication built something here, maybe not as grand as the pyramids but far older.

The underground chamber admits only 80 visitors a day, in groups of 8, out of concern for the effects of carbon dioxide emissions on the structure, which is encased in a climate controlled glass enclosure. These burial chambers, which were discovered at the turn of the last century, are very humid and damp. The floor is wet and water drips upon you as you listen to the audio guide. At one point, I wished that the tape skipped the long segments of atmospheric drums so I could get out of there quickly. But the group is carefully managed - woe to the person who is late, because you'll be denied entry - and tickets must be bought months in advance. A nearby, ground level site, Taixien, has no such restrictions. These sites are clustered in groups across the Maltese islands.

Since all buses on Malta end up in Valetta, generally requiring you to transit through it when coming going or coming from other places, it is simply a matter of ensuring that you're going in the correct direction and hopping on for your return trip. I am in Valetta for lunch and another wander around the town.

A normal tourist, eager to see all there is as quickly as possible, can do Malta in three days, seeing far more than I intend to. My sightseeing is more measured - a few hours of the main sights, a long lunch, then off somewhere to read or blog. That little fishing village in the far south? The boat trip around the island? I am sure they are lovely - but I am long past my need to see it all. I have the feel of the place, and that is sufficient. (I must admit to a real fascination with Jeep safari's in Malta or Gozo, which stress going where no tourist has gone before - and the fact that your driver will be in constant radio communication with the team leader. Safari? Radio contact? You simply can't get lost on these isles.) In any case, I have given myself 4 full days here, with plans to visit the Gozitans of Gozo, the small island to the north, tomorrow. Now I am watching Australian true crime TV and reading about sex machines - mechanical, not male - in Mary Roach's hysterical book. I still there, clutching my iPhone eReader, howling with laughter.

Gozo
I must admit - with great trepidation because my neighbors are from there - that, prior to planning this trip, I had never heard of Gozo, the middle of the three Maltese islands. In fact, I had no idea how many islands Malta had. Fortunately, I bought the informatively titled "Malta and Gozo Guidebook" shortly before I met my neighbor, who told her youngest daughter "Anna is going to Gozo!" And today I did.

Gozo is a 24km bus ride from my hotel, which, with wait time, translates to about 45 minutes. Then there is a 30 minute ferry ride - which, plus the roughly 8 Euro fares, is why I stayed on Malta instead of Gozo. But today I will visit my neighbor's parents and get a guided tour of Gozo. The only other real option is to take the dreaded blue "Hop On, Hop Off" double-decker bus, because public transportation is pretty limited.

Gozo turns out to be everything I had hoped Malta would be - a series of small - sometimes very small - villages, with a majestic church dominating each one, surrounded by cliffs and sea. How long Gozo will remain unspoiled remains to be seen - there has been quite a lot of residential building in a couple of places, with soul-less 4 and 5 story towers lining the streets in lieu of the typical 2 storey dwelling. "Fortunately" it looks like the global financial crisis has slowed this development, because everywhere there are unfinished buildings, some with "for sale" signs. But some developments have sold out completely, which means that, when next the financial wheel turns, this rare unspoiled island will be doomed.

Of course, if you look closely, you'll notice that not all of the buildings are old. Villa Big Apple is dated 1998 and clearly says New York City above the date. There are other buildings that easily look a century old, but have dates ranging from 1966 through the late 1990s carved into them. But these buildings are fine, because only someone as accustomed to looking at architecture as I am would notice.

If anything, those buildings are truly Maltese, because the families have gone abroad to work for decades, as have my friends, and her parents. Aside from the obvious economic incentives, there is also the problem that, in each town, everyone is related to everyone else, so you need to go elsewhere - albeit not abroad - to date. Even if you don't go abroad, you go to the big island to work.

While I can imagine that Gozo is VERY quiet - someone on Malta said that, by 4PM in the winter, the streets are deserted - it looks like a lovely place to relax. As the light changes in the afternoon, the stone turns golden and the sky is clear. But I need to go back to Malta, so I catch the unbelievably crowded 5:30 ferry.

Most of the passengers are on guided tours, so they decamp to their buses when we reach shore, but the rest of us search for the right local buses, which are mobbed, mostly by fairly clueless young European tourists. The driver of my bus is... strange. He will take on only as many passengers as there are seats - leaving a middle-aged woman on crutches to await the next bus - but he also flies past bus stops, apparently not interested in picking up passengers. While it makes the trip back much faster, it is just odd - the buses in Malta are generally crowded, with lots of people standing.

When I'm back in St. Julian's, I finally realize where it reminds me of: Bleeker Street, with young tourists, stores selling trinkets and mediocre Italian food. Not exactly what I had in mind.

To Sicily
My flight to Sicily left at 9:15AM. In theory, I was supposed to arrive 2 hours early - but I refused. There simply couldn't be that much of a crowd at the Malta airport. Which turned out to be true - but there was plenty of traffic on the road, so I had to leave my hotel by 7:15, far from my favorite time of the day.

The flight to Sicily was 30 minutes - but the wait for the bus to Taormina was 45 minutes. Then the bus spent 30 minutes picking up passengers in town before getting on the road. I did not arrive in Taormina until 12:15 PM, tired hot and cranky - only to learn that my hotel was a smart 1KM walk - uphill.

Now, I travel pretty light - a rolling carry-on bag, a small back pack and my electronics vest. But none of this is designed to be dragged, at a 30 degree angle, over cobblestones, for a KM - and especially not when I'm tired. I ask about a taxi, but a British tourist warns me against it - he had taken a taxi from the hill below town back up the night before and was hit with a 20 Euro fare. His comments about the town were less than complimentary - and he was paying with Pounds, whose exchange rate versus the Euro is much more favorable than the dollars'.

Finally, I get to my 2 star hotel, the aptly named Condor, perched WAY above the bus station. I am sore and exhausted from what ended up being a 5 hour trip.

My room, at 60 Euro very reasonable for this town, is down the hillside. There is a very slow elevator that the receptionist advises against, but three flights of stairs do not appeal. I go to my windowless room - there is a door to a view less patio, but leaving it open lets in tiny mosquitoes - and collapse. I emerge from the room for lunch and dinner, both a substantial walk down the hill, to very mediocre restaurants, and spend the rest of the day passed out in my room.

Hopefully, tomorrow will be better - and I plan to take the train, 15 Euro taxi ride and all, to the next town. The "destination expert's" suggestion to take the same bus, change at the airport, and then take another bus seems absurd, now that I know what the trip will be like.

iChurch
I woke up too late for breakfast and wandered into town to have some tea. It is raining, and I dislike everything about this town. The restaurants are expensive, the food mediocre and a steady rain in no way improves it. The things I most want to do - go out to the Greek ruins, see Etna in the distance - all together a very 20th Century stay here - are rendered impossible by the rain.

So... I am in a town in Italy. It is raining. My hotel room is windowless, cold and damp. I can stay in a cafe but so long. What to do?

Go to church!

The one thing you can count on in Sicily is that the major churches will be open - and have some place to sit. So I find one, which is dry and warm, settle onto a bench, pull out my iPhone - and finish Mary Roach's excellent book Bonk, a history of research into sex. This is just... right... on so many levels.

The nice thing about going to church on Saturday, at least during the hours I am there, is that there is no Mass. This is one area where even Phyllis Steen is aware of the need to consider others sensibilities.

Needless to say, this combination of cafes, churches and sex makes for an odd day in Sicily, and one very different from what I had planned. But, as the song goes "Whatever gets you through the night" - which I assume is equally valid during the day.

During lunch, I am parked at a table in a cafe where the British tourists seated nearby have made their own accommodation to the rain - they are getting tanked on fizzy pink cocktails. I overhear one woman say, gravely "Well, you know, your son's your son until he takes a wife, but your daughter's a daughter for all of her life" to general agreement around the table. Wait a minute, I think, those are the words of a song. And this is CERTAINLY not true in most of the world, where exactly the opposite applies.

I guess analytical thinking isn't required to get a passport.

During a break in this long, dreary day, I decide to check the train schedule. I have read that there are "frequent" trains from Taormina to Siracusa - but it turns out that the best train is 7:41 in the morning - a completely obscene hour, and one that requires a 15 Euro taxi ride to the station, far below the town.

Since the train will take only 2 hours, while the bus will take at least 6, there's really nothing to decide, so I book a taxi for 7 AM and retire to my room, muttering obscenities under my breath.

Train
The alarm goes off promptly at 6. Instead of hitting the snooze button, I hit "off" instead - and next surface at 6:48, which leaves me all of 12 minutes until the taxi arrives.

I decide to skip a shower.

On with the clothing, zipping up the bags, and upstairs into the waiting cab. At the station, the ticket machine doesn't work and then I am flying down and up stairs to reach the right platform. Everyone in the car I get on is asleep, which seems perfectly reasonable, so I back up and find a compartment with only one occupant. She moves her bag, I settle in and demonstrate my newly acquired ability to sort of fall asleep sitting up, which I think is simply a hangover from my sleeping meds - but I don't care. It makes the trip fly.

I arrive in Siracusa at 10AM and am told that my hotel is 1 1/2km from the station. Now, Siracusa is flat, but I'm not up for a stroll with bags in tow, so I take a taxi for 10 Euro. It is a good thing that I do, because my hotel is on the tiniest of ancient streets and, this being Sunday, there would have been no one on the street to ask. My room is not ready, so I repair to a sea side cafe. It is overcast but not raining, so I am happy to spend an hour of so over my tea.

My hotel room turns out to be a small apartment in an ancient building. It has a double-bed, a day bed and an ottoman that converts to a bed. There is also a kitchen. More importantly, it is warm and dry, with its window facing out onto the tiny street. The only way to know whether it is raining is to listen.

The room has high wooden ceilings with wooden beams and is a great place to hang out, which I know I'll be doing since I booked it for 4 days. I hope Syracuse is sufficiently interesting - I had planned to spend a day sitting in a sunny cafe, drinking the local wine.

Since it isn't raining, I wander the old town, from the Greek ruins near the mainland, to the Jewish ghetto. I did not know that Sicily expelled its Jews in 1492, as Spain and Portugal did. On one hand, it makes sense - Expulsion is Expulsion - but how come I never heard of it? And what about the Inquisition? In any case, I explore the narrow street, coming to a doorway with a 6 pointed star - perhaps that is the mikvah? I'm not paying attention to the guidebook - I rarely do - but this is a street worth returning to. It is also close to the puppet theater - for lack of much else to do, I should try to catch a puppet show - learn more about Sicilian puppetry.

Overall, I am much happier in Siracusa. The food is quite good, the prices lower and, while there are tour groups, a stroll down a side street and you are alone. The sea surrounds the narrow old city, so it is always close at hand. And the fresh water pond, foreseen by the Delphic Oracle, is near my hotel, with large cafes overlooking the sea.

I lunch on antipasti at a modern wine bar near the new city - I am trying to have vegetables every day, because a diet of pizza, pasta and sea food is not what I had in mind. The plate of antipasti is only 5 Euro, much more reasonable than the prices in Taormina - and vastly more tasty.

At 3 PM, my choice is coffee or a nap, so I return to my room to try out one of the beds. I listen to the rain and wonder that I manage to sleep after such long naps. Maybe sleep is addictive?

A guide to dining in Italy had come out shortly before my trip, so I am delighted to discover that one of the restaurants it recommends is right around the corner - and inexpensive. Except it isn't. There. There is no restaurant at all at that address - the building isn't even inhabited. But the restaurant on my hotel's narrow street looks promising, with locals eating there, and soon I am tucking into pasta con sarde, although there are no obvious fish on my plate. Maybe they're ground into the powder on my plate? But since I have also ordered white wine, which appears at a 1/2 litre carafe, there's not much I care about for long. I haven't had wine in weeks and it goes promptly to my head. I sit there, sipping the wine and reading a Operation Mincemeat, the book about the cover for the Allied invasion of Sicily. Even though it is set in England and Spain (so far), it concerns Sicily, which makes it perfect reading.

I have neglected to buy a SIM for my unlocked GSM phone - I really have no idea who I would call - but I take my iPhone with me everywhere. I don't care what anyone says - it is the perfect eReader - and device - for travel. Thank Heavens that the small hotels I'm staying in have free WiFi - I do enjoy reading the Times with breakfast.

A Message From Your Sponsor (rant)

It has been 4 days since I posted. But mostly not my fault. Really.

The network was down in all of Siracusa Ortiga, the old city, for one night.
I was set upon at dinner by a crazed tourist, got home late and had an early train.
I then wrote a really wonderful riff last night - and it just... vanished... from my screen, unsaved.

So now I will do what bloggers should not - make up for lost time,try to capture the feeling and the spontaneity - and simply try to remember what I did and would have wanted to write about - during those lost days.

Noto

Since the entire south eastern portion of Sicily was destroyed by an earthquake in the 17th Century, it is filled with Baroque towns. Some you stay in, some you pass through, others you day trip to. Noto is a day trip, a tiny town of a few streets, 40 minutes by bus from Siracusa.

Now, doesn't that sound like an easy side trip? Well,what they neglect to mention is that it is 40 minutes from when you get on the bus at the bus station. First you need to get to the bus station, by expensive taxi or infrequent shuttle bus, then you need to wait for the regional bus, then you get to spend your 40 minutes on the bus. By this point, easily 90 minutes have passed.

You spend a couple of hours in Noto, looking at more carved cherubs and masks and skulls, eat something, and then repeat the whole transportation thing in reverse. This is how a simple side-trip into "a suburb of Siracusa" turns into a full day trip. Now, don't get me wrong - Noto is lovely - but I am also a very lazy tourist.

Originally, for reasons that escape me now, I had planned to catch the 8AM bus, so I would have plenty of time to see the town before siesta. But when I awoke at 6AM, it was raining - hard - in the narrow alley outside my hotel - so I rolled over, reawakening at 8AM, when the rain had stopped.

Since I now have a number of Sicilian churches under my belt, I am coming to realize that the interiors were way less important to the 3 Baroque architects who rebuilt these cities than the exteriors. The interiors are simple - not stark, the way, say, a Lutheran church would be. Simple, and surprisingly light - with off white paint trimmed with gold. And then it hits me: the Italian provincial furniture of my youth. In the Italian provinces.

I know that last bit seems snarky. It really wasn't intended that way. The interiors are surprisingly restrained, given the Baroquefest on the streets and, oh, the Cathedral of Valetta. And not only restrained, but pretty and delicate and charming. It takes me a few minutes to recall where I saw that color scheme. Canarsie, Brooklyn, the far away land of my adolescence, where, appropriately, the choices were only provincial - Italian or French.

Siracusa: The Ancient Dead

After Rome, Siracusa has the largest catacombs in Italy, but I need to leave Ortiga, the peninsula that contains the old city, because these dead weren't welcomed there, way back then.

Knowing that I needed to take a bus, I stopped by a tobacco store to buy a ticket. No, that isn't wrong - that's how the system works - although I wonder what Mayor Mike would think about it. In any case, in I go, only to be told that, no, you buy tickets on the bus. Hmm. I know that's not right, but, hey, he lives here.

So off I go to the bus stop, and wait, and wait, and wait for the right bus - maybe 45 minutes. I get on, and offer a handful of change to the driver - who tells me that I need to buy a ticket at the tobacco store - only now I realize that there is a tobacco store near the bus stop, but if I go there, the bus will leave, and then another long wait - and this not only Italy, but it is Sicily - which means that there is a post-audit system. You buy your ticket, have the bus on the machine stamp it, and, if an inspector comes around, you show them your ticket or get fined on the spot. But, this is Sicily. I get on the bus and tell the driver where I want to go.

After a while of rolling around the new city, I ask the driver to tell me when it is the right stop. Like some Warner Brothers cartoon, he realizes that I am on the bus, that I have the audacity to be asking directions when I don't have a ticket - and he says I-can't-even-imagine-what out loud - very loud - in Italian - no Sicilian. And then he says it again. But I get off the bus, and wander over to my cryptic destination. I arrive, with only 2 minutes until the English language tour. Just like the journey across the River Styx, you can't wander in the land of the dead alone.

The crypt is small, but the catacombs large - originally joining another catacombs under another church. It has streets and avenues and traffic circles and there is a distinct hierarchy among the dead. Not that there are any dead to see - those old bones were taken up to Rome after the War - bones from tens of thousands of bodies. The early Christians, who had to be buried outside of the city walls back in the day - the same way that we buried folks at the African Burial Ground in NYC. In both places, with time, the dead won, the civilization that ostracized them, embraced them.

In any case, we can't do the standard tour because the catacombs were once a Greek aqueduct, built into porous rock (the better to let water inside,my dear) - so there are puddles and drips from the copious rain that morning. We see niches for families, for nuns, for children, some with ornate facades, others just sort of stuck into the stone. The architecture of death.

Here and there are vents to the overworld - either for filling the aqueduct or for venting the smell of large numbers of decomposing bodies, which much have been overwhelming when men needed to work down there, enlarging the 'combs.

We take the tour - no photos allowed - except someone cheats, but who am I to complain? - so you will have to find your images on the 'Net - or in the darker recesses of your imagination.

It is now 12:30, so Sicily is about to start its siesta. If it weren't Monday, I could go to the badly organized and labeled museum next to the site, with thousands of artifacts jumbled - but it is, and I didn't want to go anyhow. The crypt guy suggests that I walk back to Ortigia, because the wait for the bus is so long (and there may not be a tobacco store), so I do, crossing one of the bridges to the old city. Then lunch in an impossibly narrow street - too narrow for even a motorcycle - and waste the afternoon, wandering hither and yon in this most romantic Baroque city.

So far, the pouring rain that has been forecast for all of Sicily and most of Europe has either been at night, or simply not materialized at all. In Siracusa, the weather is hot by day, with a cool sea breeze at night.

Dinner that night is at a wonderful restaurant a few blocks from my hotel, further from the Duomo, the site of all things tourist. Tuna is pretty much the main offering, so I have a wonderful, extraordinary tuna steak with tomatoes, the meal fresh and sweet with olive oil. We don't know tuna like this is New York. While there are other tourists, this restaurant is more sophisticated than the normal tourist haunts, and somewhat more expensive. But it is a wonderful place to linger, looking through the tall archway at a wall of wine, drinking the local vino.

A Ruinous Day

The next morning, I have a problem - I have seen all the sites I really care about, but the Neaopolis architectural zone in the new city is open, so shouldn't I go and see some really good Greek ruins? A fabulous theater? I decide to go, buy two bus tickets - one good for the next 120 minutes, the other for the next 2 days - and wait for the bus, which still doesn't take me anywhere near the site, but I find it, spend 9 Euro for a ticket, and go look at ruins.

Now the ruins are wonderful - but I really don't care. I look, I wander around. I'm very happy being in the middle row. I poke into an oracle's cave. And then it is time for lunch. Handily, I have with me the page from the updated restaurant guide to Italy that was republished to rave reviews. It tells me to ignore the tourist places at the site and walk a mere 250 meters to a plain bar with good pasta.

The street is nearby, I walk to the number - and there is nothing remotely resembling a restaurant there. This guide how has 2 strikes, 1 hit, and I am not happy. I am also starving.

At this point, I don't much care about the excellence of the cuisine - I want FOOD - McDonald's would be fine. But this is a commercial street with nary a bar. I finally spot a place for a calzone and water and wonder how I get back to Ortiga.

The ticket to the archeological zone includes entry into the museum, so I am walking in that direction. And walking. And walking. I am hot. I am tired. There are no taxis. There are no buses. And there is no museum.

Finally, a bus stop. I have a ticket. I ask and am told that the bus goes to Ortiga. So I wait. There is not a bench. And the wait is long. Very long. And when the bus comes, it takes me to the bus station, where I need to catch a free shuttle bus to Ortiga. Which I know from my trip to Noto, can mean a long wait. But it is there, door closed, I knock and he lets me on. Yes! 5 minutes and I will be back in the plaza in Ortiga. Or not.

This driver is... unhappy. He stops to scold the woman parked in the bus stop by the Ortigan shore. He complains about something else. And he is not taking the normal route back to the center of Oritiga - he is going along the perimeter.

I tell him that I want to go to the Duomo, since that's always safe, and I see that we are rounding the tip of the island. Hmm... then back up the other side. Finally, he stops the bus, points to a promenade by the sea and then to me and announces "Ortiga" pointing to the water. Well, yes, but so is everything else here.

It is obvious that I have no choice but to get off the bus, which I do and realize that I have no idea where on this small peninsula with tiny streets I am. I also realize that I'm in the downscale part of the old city, which I hither-to did not know existed. I ask for directions. I am turned around. I go off in one direction. I am told to go in another. Finally, I spy the Duomo, 3 hours after I left the archeological park. My plan for a day sitting at a seaside cafe, doing nothing, is shot.

I repair to a wonderful gelataria and happily spend 5 1/2 Euro on achingly wonderful Sicilian lemon sorbet. I have never had lemon sorbet this good.

As you might imagine, when spending days sightseeing, if you're out of diapers, you'll need to use the ... services ... WC ... toilet ... with some frequency. If you do, you will quickly discover that they are clean and readily available - and uniformly lacking in toilet seats. I don't mean one or two. I mean almost every toilet in a cafe, bar or public toilet that I encounter. The ones in the hotel rooms and most restaurants come with seats.

Now, in Malta, there was one toilet that came with "sit, don't squat with shoes on" diagrams, for the odd African who strayed. In Sicily, a noticeably more diverse place, there are no such instructions - and no seats. Are the Sicilians simply heading the feet on seats problem off at the pass, so to speak? Have all the toilet seats been stolen? Is this some as-yet-unknown type of Mafia protection? I don't know - but it is most curious.

Lacking inspiration, I decide to have dinner at the same restaurant. A tourist couple is browsing the menu and I give them my recommendation, as does another American woman, who invites me to join her. Feeling friendly, I do. Mistake.

When we sit down, I notice her patrician appearance - and her glassy eyes. She lives in a world of privilege, hangs around with people who are far wealthier, and has traveled widely, doing interesting things, some of which I don't quite understand. She is a friend of the owner of the restaurant and knows all the staff. She introduces me to one of the waiters, who says, yes, he served me the prior evening.

A short while later, a man is seated at the table next to us. She invites him to join us. He declines.

Throughout the meal,she talks to him, repeating some of the things she just told me. He and I exchange meaningful glances - not about our future together, but more along the lines of "OMG!" - some of the staff and I exchange the same glances. She moves to his table and, at some point, states that he will walk her home. Later it comes out, of course, that he is married - happily - but I don't hang around to see where the conversation goes.

It turns out the meal is free, for all of us. I tip the waiter well and walk home with my head buzzing - not from wine but from a dinner of endless chatter by a creature from another universe.

Ragusa
In the morning I take the train to Ragusa, another small Baroque town 2 hours inland. The train has two cars and runs on separate rails. It is almost empty and, apparently, the government has been trying to shut it down for years. Since I vastly prefer trains to buses, I am delighted and settle in for some uninterrupted reading. We arrive in the new city of Ragusa and I am told that the taxi stand is at the corner - which it is. But there aren't any taxis. I am soon directed to the adjacent bus stop, which has its own ticket office, learn which bus to take - and wait. and wait. Since there is, of course, no place to sit, I sit on the step into the ticket office. The man who works there is furiously polishing the counter. Then he sweeps the floor, and the step, making me get up, then the street. He then proceeds to wash the floor, and the stoop and then lock the office for the mid-day break. I have no choice but to stand, since my prior perch is wet.

45 minutes later, the bus arrives. On it is a voluble old Sicilian, who talks, non-stop, to one old Sicilian woman, then another, and finally, the driver.

I try to tell the driver where I am going, but he is disinterested. I try again a few minutes later. and finally am told to get off, which I do.

I am at on a curved street, high above a town which descends, endlessly, via steep steps - many, many steep steps.

I descend to a small plaza and look for someone to ask for directions. Finally, I see someone on the terrace above the plaza and shout up to them. He tells me that my hotel is 2KM below - and that I should take the bus, which I know means another 45 minute wait - and, of course, I don't have a ticket. I would have no qualm about using the same ticket I had bought, but the thought of waiting another 45 minutes for a bus is impossible. So I start to walk.

I hear a car - and put out my thumb to hitch. To my great surprise, a woman in her 30s, with 2 children in the car, stops and after she understands my problem, offers me a ride. I guess a white haired woman with a suitcase doesn't seem threatening. I toss my wheelie into the trunk and get in.

We drive, and drive, and drive, down, down, down, around, down, around. This would have been one heck of a walk. The drive is made longer by the fact that no cars are allowed in the center, and she insists upon driving me to my door. She does so, we say goodbye, she makes sure that I go in, and drives off.

For all the jokes about Sicily and the reality of poverty and crime, the reality of these towns is that there is a society of a type that has long gone missing in large cities. People get up on buses, to offer older, or frailer, people seats. You hear "please" "thank you" and "excuse me" constantly. Of course, there are anti-drug signs pasted to the wall of a building near my hotel, so this ancient town is a real place with real problems - but, still, it is nice to see a society so lacking in larger places.

The hotel is small but lovely and the town is... tiny. Maybe not the whole town, which crawls up the hill to the new city and down the sides of the hills, but the tourist center. It is even smaller than Noto's. 10 minutes, and you are done.

My plan was to stay here, day trip to Modica, another Baroque town nearby, known for its chocolate, and then on to Enna, the ancient hill town known as the navel of Sicily. But, now that I understand the way things work, I cross Modica off the list, While it may be only 40 minutes away, without a car, the time required to go to the bus station in Ragusa, get from the bus station to the town in Modica, and reverse, is just too exhausting to contemplate. With a car - sure. But, without one, well, how many Baroque towns do I need to see?

I go to the restaurant around the corner, also owned by the hotel, and a blond woman my age is seated at the next table and we start to talk. Fortunately, not only is this woman normal, she is very interesting, a retired Canadian special ed teacher and principal, whose son lives in NY, a place she visits often, now that a grandchild is on the way.

With nothing to do, we sit and talk for the next few hours and then we both return to the hotel - she is staying at the same one I am, with her husband. Now this is a fine way to spend an October day - off the square in a tiny, quiet Sicilian town, sipping wine, talking.

Back in my room, I start to wonder how I will get to Enna and now understand enough to be concerned about what I see. Yes, there is a bus - back at the airport at Catana. This means that I need to go back to where I started, almost 2 hours in the wrong direction, and take another bus back. And let's guess what the wait times for the buses will be.

When I started thinking about Sicily last winter, when first one trip, then another, to China fell apart, my first question was the feasibility of public transport. I was assured by Vagabonda, ostensibly a person who has done 26,000 posts on TripAdvisor's Sicily Forum, that it would be no problem. Now everything she - or whoever is answering all those posts with incredible details and lightening speed - said is true. But. And the but is an important one. Yes, the travel times are reasonable - as long as you don't include wait times and connections. Yes, there are buses and trains - but maybe not at the right hours. And yes, the Baroque towns are interesting - but there is really no reason to visit more than Siracusa.

I check with the desk that I can extend my stay another day and cancel Enna. I am not sure what I will do in this tiny town for 2 more days, but I would rather hang out then spend hours traveling for no real reason.

I go to dinner at the only place in town recommended by my foodie guide - it is really nothing special - a pork chop in an astonishing amount of olive oil - and, when walking back to the hotel, meet my lunch companion and her husband, who I join as they dine.

We quickly realize that we all have worked in similar worlds - he works with children with learning disabilities and disorders like ADHD, which is how they met. It is a long, comfortable conversation among people who are strangers but share experiences and perspectives. He speaks little, she speaks more, and it is a most enjoyable evening. We meet at breakfast and have another long chat.

Since I started traveling, I've had minor, but chronic, GI problems. In Malta, I thought it was the after-effects of an anti-biotic I was taking - or maybe the side effects of another drug - so I went to the pharmacy and bought some probiotics. Then, in Siracusa, I bought something else. But the problem is persisting and 10 days is a long time, so I go to the only pharmacy in the old town and buy some more probiotics. But I am concerned. GI problems are normally quick and violent, where this is slight but persistent. I ask the desk clerk about seeing a doctor and am told that it is too late on Friday and no one will be available over the weekend. A 4 hour bus ride to Palermo, on buses without toilets, is not something I want to consider.

I go on-line to contemplate my options - WiFi may be slow, but it is wonderful to have your own computer. I am supposed to go to Palermo on Sunday, fly to Rome on Wednesday and then to NY on Friday. Instead I realize that I can go to the airport at Catania, 2 hours away, and catch a flight to Rome on Sunday. Since I love Rome, and am finding Sicily only OK, that seems like the best solution. Foolishly, I don't book a flight = the prices will rise 50% the next day, the day before the flight, but I don't know that yet.

I then check for hotels - obviously, all the good, inexpensive ones are long booked. The place I have reserved can get me in one night earlier, but that leaves 2 nights. After much poking around TripAdvisor, I end up booking a more expensive B&B. I then tell the hotel in Palermo that I might cancel - another mistake, because, when I receive their response in the morning, it is officially within 24 hours of my planned arrival, so the on-line booking service will charge me for the first night. I HATE these on-line services, but sometimes they are the only way to book these small hotels.

Since I have travel insurance, I email them, and am told to call their emergency services number collect, which I do on Saturday morning. They are, in a word, useless. They keep telling me that the insurance company will determine what to pay - and when I point out that I was told to call them, they are puzzled. They can't even give me an English speaking doctor in Rome.

Fortunately, the older woman at the desk understands "idiot!" and she decides to call the doctor in town - who is in his office, and comes right over. He speaks some English, she translates, and soon I am diagnosed with the stomach virus that is going around Sicily. Interestingly, he prescribes the same meds I am taking and what the Sicilians call a "white" diet - plain rice, tea and toast - none of which are easy to find in Sicilian restaurants. He is happy to write me a note explaining that I need to go to Rome because of my illness - whether the insurance company will honor it is TBD, but I am not sure how they will argue with it. I get a bill and make reservations for Rome. Since I will be spending so much money on the hotel, if the insurance doesn't cover, I decide to take a taxi to the airport - very expensive, more so than usual because it will be a Sunday, but given the bus timings, the best option.

Hopefully, the meds will work and I can eat well in Rome. I have to say that, after all these days in tiny towns, I am ready for several days in one of my favorite cities.

Rice a Roma

I left Ragusa at 10 AM, landed in Rome at 2:30, got into a taxi - and ended up fighting with the driver most of the way into Rome (at some point we stopped speaking). Why? Because I was going to a very small street in Testrastevere, in Rome, a city of tiny streets. Since the driver had no idea where it was, he decided to check the index on his map - while driving in the left lane.

When I objected - I finally found something worse than texting while driving - he explained to me, in excitable Italian, that he was a professional driver and that it was perfectly safe to be reading a map while driving. And, anyhow, no one could possibly know all the streets in Rome (which is true).

He continued to check the map, I continued to scream at him, he pulled over to the side of the highway - I assumed to throw me out, but actually to read them map - and got back on, now typing into his GPS. The only problem, of course, is that he didn't really read the name of the street right so he was spelling it wrong - and so he kept re-typing it - while driving.

After we passed the exit to Testrastevere, going instead to the historical center of Rome, which is no where near my hotel, I got him to understand that the street was spelled MeN and not MEM - so he plugged it into his GPS and delivered me to the door. Why he didn't do this at the airport probably says something about men and directions and the sub-species Italian men and directions.

This B&B is in an old apartment house, so it has one of those little cage elevators - Roman style - that fits 3 people. I am greeted by the owner of this B&B, and the one I originally tried to book, a surprisingly young man. After graduating from college, he thought "teach - or something in tourism, because Rome is a tourist city" - so he decided to go into the B&B business.

The rooms are large, with high ceilings - but not yet finished. It really doesn't matter, because all I need is a place to sleep for two nights, but it is a bit strange being the only person in a B&B. But the location is good and I am happy to be in Rome.

After a long chat with the owner, and the usual room-set-up activities, I decide to look for a place for dinner. There is no shortage of restaurants and pizzerias in the area - some look fabulous - but I'm on a white diet and that diet doesn't include pizza with 4 cheeses. I walk a bit in the rather cool and damp evening air, wondering what to do, and then I set... two red lanterns... which I head towards smiling broadly. Japanese food! No, I don't mean sushi and shashimi - I mean miso soup with noodles and bits of meat. I mean something that doesn't have olive oil or tomato sauce.

The bowl of larmen is small relative to a NY portion, lacking in noodles - and not particularly good - but I devour it. I then wonder what else I can order and settle on white rice and chicken skewers, hold the sauce. I can literally feel my body bloom as it gets its first food other than rice and toast in 24 hours. I can't begin to tell you how exhausting it is to travel when you're not eating nourishing food or drinking anything caffeinated. And the thought of walking around Rome with only toast in my belly makes me want to stay in my room.

It is cool out - but the Romans are acting as though winter has arrived. I see a woman go past with her scarf over her nose and mouth, the way we do when it is really, really cold.

I go back to my quiet hotel and finish yet another book on my iPhone. I have now read 12 books on it and, I have to tell you, I just love the thing. Yes, you need to turn pages all the time - but then I think about the books I schlepped with me - and even my eReader - and it is more than worth the trade off.

A Pilgrim's Tour

It is cool and cloudy - my down vest, sweater and shirt are barely warm enough. I head across the Tiber to the main part of Rome and quickly am struck by just how many tourists there are.

When I was in Rome in 2005, there were a LOT of tourists - but their numbers have increased dramatically. Almost everyone you see is carrying the same free map of Rome or, less fortunately, playing follow the leader with someone carrying (1) a flag (2) a silly umbrella opened (3) a collapsible umbrella, closed - or, alarmingly, the members of the tour group are all wearing (1) bright yellow hats, (2) white scarves with the name of the tour company printed on it or (3) ear pieces, so they can listen to the tour leader's narrative. I am sure that there are Italians - and even Romans - in Rome, but, at times it is hard to spot them. There are SO many tourists.

And when I'm not looking at tourists, what do I see? Priests and nuns. A surprising number of young, and even attractive, priests. A surprising number of nuns, many of them African, in all sorts of unflattering attire, including little round white pillboxes on their heads underneath their wimples. The priests,needless to say, are wearing loafers - but their attire varies, I suppose by the order. Some wear suits. Others, robes. And there is one with a fetching jacket with a nipped waist and short cape - I had a Tahari suit just like it that I loved. Of course, this being Rome, it makes sense that there are lots of clergy, and that there's none of the "woman religious" stuff that American nuns practice - habitless, to be sure. Nope, these are the regulation, flying through the air, singing in Sister Act, nuns.

Except... for the Rome 2011 calendar. Now, I didn't buy one - and it was sealed, but can someone tell me WHY there is a calendar with a reasonably attractive young priest on the cover? Might this be the Vatican version of the NYC Firefighter's calendar - but who is the Vatican raising money for? Legal settlements?

Snarkiness aside, I guess the thing that surprises me most is how many young people, of both sexes, take vows. I can understand African women entering a convent, although I know that is not remotely a politically correct sentiment - but, as with the early Christians, religion could be a ticket to a better life for some people in the developing world. But for people from the West? I thought they were having trouble recruiting. Well, I guess that's why there's a bell curve...

Today I have decided to, essentially, walk across Rome. While I could revisit famous sites, see great art, I prefer to see Rome, as opposed to historical Rome, so I walk across the Tiber, say hello to the Ghetto, which has more "kosher" signs than I remember and then try, unsuccessfully, to stick to back streets, avoiding the tourist sites. This trip, I am captivated by the wonderful interior courtyards of the great Roman buildings. Many have gates barring entrance, but you can see through them and others are freely available. They are wonderful - statues, carvings, fountains - sometimes, veritable galleries of sculpture and friezes.

As is my wont, I also photograph the incredible jumble that is Roman architecture, all angles and wonderful colors, because the buildings are painted in ocher, sienna and corals, many aging in interesting ways. And the buildings also have ornaments - leonine metal boot scrapers - or something. Paintings of the Virgin at the corner of a building, often surrounded by cherubs. Wonderfully carved doors with worn brass handles. Fountains - some noteworthy, some just sort of there, if you take the time to notice. Odd bits of ancient Rome left exposed in more modern walls. And the, of course, the modern city - graffiti, often stencils as opposed to tags, although there are those too.

This is the Rome I love, the collision of centuries alive in the 21st century. The city that lives and breathes and works and eats in sidewalk cafes.

I skirt Piazza del Fiori, try to avoid Piazza Narvonna and the Pantheon but fail. It is sad to see how many tourists are at the Pantheon these days - I recall sitting there, in a cafe, without the place being inundated. But that was a lifetime ago.

Ultimately, I end up near the Spanish Steps. Now, this has always been a tourist site but now, OMG! There are so many tourists sitting on the steps that it would be impossible to walk up or down them - something I did regularly on my first trip to Rome, because my hotel was above them. Admittedly, that was in the 1980s, but, even in 2005, it was nothing like this. The whole area is mobbed so I pass until, exhausted, I reach my destination and find a mini-bus that will take me back the way I came.

Now buses are always a problem, because you don't ever know where they are going. I know that this will go down a main street - but then it turns, and I'm not sure where, so I get off. Mistake.

I recognize the enormous monument and figure I'm near the Tiber, so I'll just walk to it through the side streets. The very small side streets. The tiny side streets that aren't quite on any map. The minuscule side streets that are, essentially, fly paper for lost tourists. We enter, we look at our map. We look around confused. We walk hither, then yon. We kinda, sorta know where we are - but we don't know how to get out of the maze - especially since a couple of the streets are dead ends.

A man cycles through, stops and asks if I need directions. YES! He tells me how to go and then I tell him he has to stay there, all day, to help lost tourists. I try to follow his directions, which involve walking under an arch - but I can't find the arch.

It is now 3PM. I have been walking since 11AM. I want only to go back to my room and put my feet up.

Finally, I am on a main street, which I see on the map and then I see arches, which I walk under, and beyond - but there's no river. So I,l painfully, walk back. There's a police box but, good bureaucrat that he is, he can't talk to me on THIS side of the booth so I need to walk to THAT side of the booth - at which point I discover that I was walking away from the river. It is odd - the river is uphill from the street I am on. I never think of urban rivers as being uphill.

I cross one of the old bridges and then realize that it is one of the furthest from my hotel, so another walk is ahead.

The Japanese restaurant is closed on Monday and Tuesday, so I am at a loss where to eat. I go into a place nearby for a pasta without tomato and cheese - and find that they're out of all sauces that are the reason I came in. This is really getting old.

Just for the heck of it, I should mention that there aren't a lot of toilet seats in Rome either. Why?

Another Rant

I wrote more last night. I SWEAR that I did. But then, it vanished, just like the last time. Now, I know you need to save stuff regularly, and I did, which is the only reason that any of the post survived, but, really, what is going on?? Between not having connectivity, this - and being engrossed in various books - I am days behind. And I am hating my netbook - sure, it types, but it is just too slow and the screen too small. Now that brand new MacBook Air, well, it might be in my travel bag next year. Rant over.

Moving Downtown (Sort Of)

This morning I move to the B&B I had reserved from NY - 5 rooms, in a more residential area further from the heart of Trastevere and the historical center, but on a good tram line. It is top rated and 25 Euro a night cheaper. If I pay cash, I will be staying in Rome for about $115 a night, which is about what I paid when I was here in 2005.

The room is much smaller, with clean, higher quality finishes the best WiFi to date and each room is beautifully painted with Roman scenes. More importantly, it is one of the rare hotel rooms to have a comfortable place to sit - in this case, a leather sofa about the width of a single bed - which it converts to. I know that high end hotels have upholstered hotels, but they never exist at this price point. At last, some place other than the bed to sit, put my feet up, and read or write (This is being broadcast live from that chair now).

Check-in completed, I grab the tram to the Center, even though I have no idea what I am going to do. I had not planned on 4 full days in Rome so I have only a minimal guidebook - but I've also spent enough time in the City that I don't feel the need to rush around. And the weather has improved dramatically - 50 degrees at night and in the low 60s during the day, with partly cloudy skies.

I walk horizontally across the Center, staying on small streets and stopping periodically to watch the world go by. Normally, I'd be hanging out at cafes but the fact that I can't eat pretty much anything turns me strongly to Plan B, which means no whiling away the time in a cafe with some wine. I had SO wanted to do this.

Most of the clothing stores in Rome are tiny, and the price of clothing is expensive, at least to someone accustomed to discount stores. Very broadly, there are three types of clothing: couture like Armani, beautiful, very classic - and expensive - clothing, in muted colors, and whatever is the current vogue, which I don't find at all appealing. And a lot of the scarves and shawls are from Asia or India, but priced very aggressively - inexpensive viscose shawls sell from 72 Euro here, which is absurd.

The people on the street look both similar and different than they do in NY. Perhaps 10 percent are dressed in classic Italian style. Most of the rest are in the international uniform of jeans, tights, tee shirts, etc. Overall, I think the clothing looks cheaper than that work by New Yorkers, which may have something to do with the prices here. Diversity is much more limited - a small number of Africans, some darkish peddlers whose ethnicity I can't figure out, and the inevitable Roma, begging everywhere. While I have read that obesity is a major problem in Italy, I haven't seen any evidence of it - the Romans are a small people and you see neither extremely thin nor overweight people.

Perhaps the biggest difference is the absence of color in people's clothing. Traditionally, Italy has been a navy and camel/brown country, with red supplying some cheer. Which is to say that it has nothing like the color of NY's streets, and certainly none of the extremes of style. No neo-Punks. One Hip Hop wanna be (sort of). Or, as an Italian I know once said "Only Americans wear pink."

On some level, Rome is what NYC will be hundreds or thousands of years from now, assuming we survive. What Rome lacks in current diversity, it makes up in historical diversity, thousands of years of empire, conquest and civilizations, bringing cultures and religions and influences. What is happening in NYC now is probably the modern equivalent, happening, as everything does these days, at warp speed. Where Italy had conquest, we have immigration, but we need another hundred years to see what we look like - what all that mixing will turn us into as a people, and as a culture. Our WASP days are far behind us and we are heading for a blending that will probably be unique in history.

My day over, I head back to my room and try to figure out what to do about food. I Google "Japanese restaurants Rome" and get a lot of hits - not all of which are Japanese, and only one of which is remotely close. Their take out menu is all sushi and shashimi, the thought of which revolts me - I am pretty much better, but I have no interest in experimenting with raw fish - but I hope for soup and noodles.

I head out, thinking I saw another Japanese restaurant on the main street - and find it quickly. It is, of course, a Japanese, Chinese, Italian restaurant - which means it will do nothing well. I have the worst won ton soup I have ever had and steamed pork dumplings. Between this and my lunch of flattened chicken and roast potatoes, I've done remarkably well today - but, boy, is this not what I envisioned.

The next day, I explore Trastevere, which I've visited in the past, but only for lunch. It is filled with restaurants and workshops and tiny streets across the hill from the Vatican. I walk to its heart and go to see a church I've missed - which is extraordinary - and I don't say that about churches, in general, and after 3 weeks of them, in particular.

This church is from the 12th century and has the most exquisite mosaic alter. The ceiling is carved and painted and there is a high Baroque side chapel. The floor is a design of circles with bands of marble mosaic. The facade also has a large mosaic. I spend a long time in it because I have come at the right time, with the sun streaming through the windows, reflecting off the gold, illuminating the interior. I try to imagine what it must have been like all those hundreds of years ago,

This is a thought you can't help but have in Rome, where there are churches, literally, everywhere. What was it like to live here when religion was a much more dominant force in people's lives? What caused all these churches to come into being - were they created by the powerful or by the ordinary people? Here I am not talking about the grand basilicas but rather the churches you pass everywhere on the streets. I am sure there are all sorts of histories, but I am equally sure that they are dry - and I would rather wonder than know all the details. The cost of maintaining them must be astronomical.

Sightseeing done, my thoughts turn naturally to lunch - and, today being Wednesday, the Japanese restaurant is open. Disconcertingly, the waitress remembers my Sunday night order which is, alas, exactly what I will eat for lunch. Complain though I do, coming to Rome was the right decision because ASIANS DON'T COOK WITH DAIRY.

Even though I seem to be OK - it is some sick joke that I'm recovering when I leave - I'm being conservative, so the thought of dinner brings only despair - I can't face either the Japanese or the Chinese place again - so I dine on rice crackers and Gatorade in my room - gross, huh? - and finish my book. I am not a mystery reader or a fan of Swedish literature so I am surprised that I am so in to this book. I guess that is why it is an international best-seller.

After I finish it, I check its reviews on Amazon and am surprised that a significant percentage of reviews were very negative. I assume that it is like independent films - love them or hate them. I download the next book in the trilogy to my iPhone, since I have a long flight ahead of me. I have more than enough books to get me through, but there is a certain type of book that is perfect for airports and 10 hour flights, so I want to be sure that I have one in reserve if I need it. To give myself a break, I switch to my other favorite, Mary Roach, who is examining life - and bodily functions - during trips to outer space. In view of what she did with sex, I can't wait.

"Ciao Roma"

I really don't want to do anything today - I am done with sight seeing. But I feel that I really should visit the ancient ruins, even though I hate ruins and am sure that they will be inundated with tourists.

I take the bus, the train, and walk up 3 enormous flights of steps - Rome being a city of hills - to get to a church that doesn't excite me. Then towards the Coliseum. All my fears are realized. The restaurants have touts. There are guys selling faux silk scarves with reproductions of the Coliseum and there are so many tourists that, from my position above the the site, they truly do look like ants. I don't go in.

I walk past some of the other ruins, turn off into a tiny street for an overpriced lunch and then do what I wanted to - head back to Trastevere and hang out for the rest of the glorious day, doing nothing but watching the people and wondering whether I will ever come back to Rome.


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Egypt '09

To understand Egypt, you need to approach it from the desert. With unlimited time, I would encourage a visitor to start with a circuit of the oases to the West, spending endless hours across rough roads through the sands to the main oases, with some time in the White Desert. If that is too much to manage, take the new weekly flight to Dakhla, the largest of the oases, take a long day trip to the White Desert, visit the old town in Al Qsar and the "gardens" nearby, making careful note of how the greenery starts and stops arbitrarily, wherever the water lies. The next day, take the 7 hour long drive to Luxor. While there is a major oasis en route, the greenery disappears quickly as you drive through mile after mile of wasteland. You are in a car - a van, more likely, and it is air conditioned and perking along probably at the 60 km/hour speed limit. Your driver is doing the work and you have nothing to do but look out the window or, when that gets too monotonous, stretch out on your seat and close your eyes. When you open them, 30 minutes or 1 hour later, you will still be in the sands.

Maybe the vista will have changed - rocky outcroppings, blackened sand, scrub or golden sand flat, as far as the eye can see. But it is all wasteland where there is no evidence of human habitation other than the car that infrequently passes you on the road or the ever-present security check points. But beyond that, nothing.

After 6 1/2 hours, the traffic increases and you start to see evidence of life, followed by sleepy villages in the characteristic cubic format of brick houses. You will see a man herding goats. A couple of donkies under a tree. Some turbaned men in dusty robes.

And suddently, it is all green. Not the bits and pieces of green of the oasis, but a solid block of green, interspersed with palm trees and houses. And you start to see water - a canal. And then, of course, the Nile, which makes all of this possible. Now controlled by dams, which prevent its annual floods, it creates the greenery and concentration of people that you see all around you.

Most tourists come to Luxor the other way - flying from Cairo or on a cruise ship along the Nile. They look at the green ribbon on the map and think "this is Egypt" - which is true - but it is much truer when you understand exeperientaly how magical it is rising up from the sands. And I am in a car, not on a camel or a donkey, spending weeks or months traveling almost 600 km.

To see the Nile and the riches it creates after the desert is to have your understanding of Egypt changed, corrected, made more primal.

Arrival
My body lies over the ocean,
My body lies over the sea,
My body lies over the ocean
Please bring back NY time to me.
Bring back, bring back
Bring back my caffine to me...

Ah, the joys of jet lag.

It doesn't matter how many drugs you take to sleep on the plane.
It doesn't matter how many drugs you take to sleep upon arrival.
Your body won't be fooled.
It will be oddly tired upon awakening and then perk up when it is 9AM in New York.

It makes one long for slow boats to Suez.

And winter storms at sea. And sea sickness.

Maybe not so much.

In any case, after a mind boggling confusing flight, on United, which was really Lufthansa except that it was cheaper on United but you couldn't book seats or check in because it was Lufthansa, I got spat out the other end of the time tunnel that is international travel. People ask me how long and are surprised that I don't know. I just get on a plane, get off and change when they tell me too, get off that one and realize that I'm...somewhere. Which is also where the car that is supposed to meet me is - somewhere, but not at the airport. And Cairo doesn't have one of those neat book a taxi here booths, so it is down the stairs to flight with the touts and the taxi drivers. Anyone quoting prices in dollars isn't driving me anywhere so finally an old guy quotes a reasonable price in Egyptian pounds and leads me to a taxi... that has another passenger in it.

Returning from 6 months in Alberta, Canada, where her children live, she's fled the cold for Cairo - a transcontinental snow bird born of the migrations that have split families across the globe, but now with the ability to go visit, which they do. I ask her what her favorite place in Cairo is and she says "the pyramids." No, your personal favorite place. It is a military monument - then she says she was in the war and, when I ask as what, she says "an Admiral" Sp much for stereotypes of 50ish Egyptian women modestly dressed.

As the driver helps her with her bag, another woman gets into the cab. OK, I think, now where? Just up the street, she says goodbye and off I go to downtown Cairo. Which is sort of when it hits me - CAIRO - as I look out the window with a big grin, watching the green lights of Islam, the stores, the minarets. Cairo.

You see, I am oddly jaded about travel. I love to do it, but, because I have done it so much, I don't get excited the way other people do. In fact, I am always surprised at how little anticipation I feel and how mechanical my preparations are - high tech clothing, check, shawls, check, electronics, check... I really have a routine. But sometimes things change.

Take this trip. I almost didn't.

Normally I leave NY on a Thursday night, to avoid Friday night craziness at the airport and to save some money, and I return to NY on a Friday, to give myself two days to get over the worst of the jet lag. So I kept telling everyone that I was leaving on Thursday, October 28, as I obsessively finished up the details for the bathroom renovation that would happen while I was away. Until I sat down to put the finishing touches on my printed itinerary and realized... the 28th is a Wednesday, not a Thursday. So butt got kicked into high gear. Not that I wasn't ready - I was - but I wasn't ready enough. Panic and excessively high activity and a huge sigh of relief that I noticed in time. If you think dreams of sleeping through an exam are nasty, just imagine missing your flight because you got the day wrong.

I know that it is going to happen - when I went to Toronto over the summer, I was deeply concerned that I was going to forget. I didn't - but I did manage to screw up the hostel we were staying at. No wonder the guy at the desk had no record of the reservation. At least the bill for the first night at the RIGHT hostel wasn't expensive.

See what I mean?

In any case, I am in Cairo and, having discovered the right combination of meds, in reasonable shape. I have conversations with my doctor that go something like "OK, I take a sleeping tablet. And some melatonin. What else can I take and be sure that I will wake up in the morning, which is the measure of success in all of this? The answer, BTW, is a shocking pink generic Benadryl. I bet the FDA hasn't tested this combo for long term effects - but, then, they haven't really tested anything long enough so, for now, I am reasonably rested and IN CAIRO.

The ATM by my hotel gladly accepts my bank card and I am delighted that I took the usual pre-departure "security" precautions insisted on by my banks. To wit. Call the credit card company. If it is Amex, you can't call more than 30 days before your return home because their computer won't store it. I guess 6 week vacations aren't allowed. The range of questions "for your own security, mam" is endless - prior addresses (but I've lived HERE for decades, and you noted that I was using my registered phone number), questions about my ancestry, about every identification number imaginable, about places real and places unknown. How much will I spend (which is easy for Amex - not much, because no one wants to pay the fees), so that I PROBABLY won't have a problem. But now, the nice machine spits out 3,000 Egyptian pounds - about $60 - and I am good to go, with cash and my brand new Schwab card that doesn't charge a fee for purchases abroad (but which does charge a minimum of $10 for each cash advance, so I am very happy that my bank card works).

I decide to take it slow, since I have about 5 days more in Egypt than I really need. So the first day, Friday, I decide to go to the Egyptian Museum and commune with Tut.

Now the guidebook says to go early or late, thereby missing the hordes of tour groups. The guidebook lies. The hordes are there when the museum opens, with their bright blue buttons, group #1 and group #2, probably off of some cruise ship, for their half day in Cairo.

I flee upstairs, which is, of course, where they all are, because there lies Tut. Don't tell me how you saw it at the Met years ago. THEY DON'T LET THE GOOD STUFF TRAVEL. I mean, would you lend someone a 300 lb gold inner casket? And the good stuff really, really, is good. Alabaster. Inlaid semi-precious stones. Astonishing, amazing things.

Tour groups, being what they are, they remain in the main galleries, leaving the side ones absolutely empty. Imagine a room with walls lined with statues of the gods of Egypt. All of them, mostly tiny, statues of the same gods, repeated. Some look like Mezzo-American dieties. Enough gods to give the Hindus pause. And NO ONE is in these rooms.

I think back to my childhood, rainy days at the Brooklyn Museum, which has an excellent collection of Egyptian art. Growing up with Egyptian art. And now, these many decades later, in Egypt, seeing Old and Middle and New Kingdom art. Far too much to comprehend. And, for all that here, the knowledge that the best stuff is gone. Not to Berlin or Paris or New York, but stolen by grave robbers thousands of years ago, during the time of the Pharaohs. They tried, they hid their tombs. But when you think about how many people were involved in building the tombs and creating all the art, there was no possibility that they would remain intact. And they didn't, as generation after generation looted the tombs. We're lucky to have anything left.

After a relatively brief visit to the museum (my nom de guerre is not Phyllis Steen without reason), I am gravely disappointed that there is not a good mueum shop. They should work with the Met to develop and sell some high quality replicas. Instead, you can buy books and postcards - and tourist schlock, from the private store on-premises.

Friday seems like a bad day for Islamic Cairo - and it also seems a bit ambitious for my first day in Cairo - so I walk across a Nile bridge to Zamalek, a residential island in the Nile. I lunch outdoors, in a luxury hotel, enjoying the cool, slightly overcast day, reading a history of Egypt on my iPhone's Kindle app, one of my favorite uses of my iPhone. Yes, I know you can buy a Kindle - I've had a Sony eReader for years - but the iPhone is amazing. I have 5 full length books on it and it weighs but a fraction of the eReader's 9 ounces. If you think that I'm exaggerating the importance of the weight, add it to the daily tourist haul - guidebook, map, bottle of water - and see how you feel after 6 hours - or 6 days. And I keep hoping that I'll find an unsecured WiFi, so I can check email and update the Times. But Egypt is not SE Asia and all connections are secured.

After the first of what I am sure will be a steady diet of lamb kebabs, because salad and pretty much anything cold is forbidden if I value my intestinal track, I wander off in search of some recommended shops. It is the perfect kind of mindless travel for a "get adjusted - you're in no rush" day - especially since none of the addresses I seek are on the map. Cairo is a very large city and maps are... high level. And, alas, only in Roman letters - no Arabic - which is also true of my guidebook - so I need to seek out people who look like they speak English and might know where the streets are. I wander with confidence, because Egyptian friendliness is as legendary as is Islamic hospitality to travelers. And I'm on an island, half of which is taken up by a private club, so I can't get too lost.

Eventually I find a few of the shops, the most obscure of which requires almost an hour of searching but does have magnificent Egyptian cottons - at shockingly high prices. Still, it is a pleasant way to have spent an afternoon and I taxi back to the center of town. I don't expect to buy much - from what I've seen, most things are fairly low quality - and some of it isn't even Egyptian - so I will need to search for places that have been quality handicrafts. I have no expectation of finding any vintage textiles or jewelry - there has simply been too much tourism, for too many years, for anything to be left.

At night, Cairo reminds me of Tehran - long shopping streets thronged with people, rivers of cars making pedestrians dance as thick set women in black sail across, undeterred. Cairo is noisier - the Egyptians seem to love their horns - and the variations in woman's attire more extreme.

At one end are women covered entirely, except for a slit for their eyes. They even wear black gloves. In Cairo, there are only a few, about the same as in some parts of Morocco. Many women wear long robes with head scarfs. Younger women may wear above the knee tunics over slacks with kerchiefs. The young women are the most interesting, walking arm in arm with men - maybe husband, maybe boyfriend - wearing tight tops and bright colored scarves. The most surprising look, which I'd read about (not in relation to Egypt) is the wearing of a skin tight flesh-colored top, with,say, a halter top over that. From a distance, it looks like bare skin, which simply isn't possible for an Egyptian woman in public and is decidedly unwise even for a foreigner. Other women wear stretch tops in a variety of colors with low cut tops over those. And sometimes two brightly colored headscarves that would make an Indian proud. Even those who wear kerchiefs differ - most covering their throat but some wearing them the way ultra-Orthodox Jews do, tied behind their head, covering their ears.

Speaking of Jews, my $25 night is across the street from one of the synagogues of Cairo. It looks like Art Deco but it dates from 1905. When I walked outside this morning, to photograph it, a muscular young man came over and indicated that I could not. I had seen the barricades and the guards in a car, but this is a rare time that I've been prohibited from photographing a civilian building. Oddly, the others were the former American Embassy in Tehran, which was crawling with Revolutionary Guards, and the elevated walk way to Federal Prison behind Police Plaza. But since my windows look down upon the synagogue, I shall have my shot anyhow.

Islamic Cairo
I awoke at the unfriendly hour of 4 AM, wishing that I had taken still more drugs (do you notice a theme here?) and lay-a-bed until the decadent hour of 7, at which time I treated myself to a sumptous breakfast of a hard boiled egg, toast and tea. The joys of traveling. Well, the hotel only costs $25/night and isn't at all bad - clean, well located, quiet, staffed by well meaning but not terribly efficient young men - and most Cairo hotels below the ultra-luxury class got indifferent reviews, so this is not a bad choice.

Eggs are always a good choice because they come handily packed in their own container, making them safe almost anywhere. The same is true of live chicken, generally seen being carried by bound feet. Larger animals are an iffier proposition, as anyone who has ever visited the outdoor meat market in the developing world will attest. There are flies. Lots of flies. There is no refrigeration. It is hot. And it is dusty. Always dusty. So... who wants a hamburger?

So I taxied to a famous mosque and did the ole mosque soft shoe - stop at the door, wrap a scarf around my hair and chest, take off my shoes, hand them to the shoe custodian (or, if there is none, toss them into a mesh bag, because there is no way I'm leaving expensive walking shoes with still more expensive orthodics at the entry. I don't care what deity is being worshiped - it is being worshiped by people. Poor people.)

The mosque was from the 14th or 15th century and lovely. I looked back as I left and realized why the Orientalists painted what they did - it is all just too beautiful in its poetic decay.

And then through the underpass to The Khan, the main tourist market in Cairo - which was still closed.

I walked through the market and finally came to a street filled with wonderful buildings - mostly madrassas (Koranic schools) - and, more surprising, with dozens of young women with drawing tablets in hand, sketching. Most wore clothing that was a bit more modest than those on the streets near my hotel, but one wore a tee shirt with no head scarf and another the full veil - although the glove on her right hand had been removed, so she could draw. It was an enchanting sight, the young women against the old buildings in the morning light.

Finally, the market opened and I walked through it, astonished by the complete junk being sold. Sure, there was the jewelry souk, with gold and silver and stones (including, interestingly, knock offs of SE Asian Hill tribe bracelets), with lovely things if you like jewelry, and a number of antique shops, with very ornate things, but the normal run of goods was just awful.

Now, the problem with Islamic Cairo is that there are so many mosques and madrassas and old mansions and, and, and to see, that it is impossible to know what to see first. So I retreated to the first mosque, saw another nearby, and was plunged into the non-tourist souk of Cairo, the stalls that sell vegetables and butchered meat and the black robes worn by the ample matrons all around me and THOUSANDS of people, conservatively dressed, shopping, in lanes with dusty, unpaved streets where space is shared with motorbikes, horse drawn carts, some with large pieces of ice for sale, and one with only three wheels and dust and dust and dust and people and heat and dust. Even for someone who has visited the souks of Allepo and Jerusalem and Damascus, Fes and Marrakesh, this was pure overload. I had forgotten that Saturday is the second day of the Muslim weekend, so the souk would be especially busy.

Along the way, I passed bales of cotton - which the merchants helpfully pointed out were Egyptian - it does not look like the stuff of luxury, stacked in street side stalls - but, then, neither does the silk used to insulate silk quilts in China.

And, of course, I had left my pollution mask at the hotel because yesterday, a Friday (and thus not a work day for many people), spent in the wealthier part of
Cairo, the air was fine, so I thought that there was no need. But the dust of the road and all it contained (don't ask - see Udaipur, India for graphic details) quickly entered my lungs so desert tonight was an antibiotic bought from the pharmacy down the street in hopes of warding bronchitis off - because I have no doubt that this is a burgeoning bacterial infection, the dust of the souk. My love affair with pharmacies in the developing world goes on, even though this same antibiotic, given wrongly, contributes to the resistance sweeping the world. And it is manufactured in Egypt, which is vastly more comforting than, say, China, where the dust of the souk might be in whatever you buy. But I digress.

I took my scarf and wrapped it across my nose and mouth, the way the Vietnamese do to fend off their pollution. I know that this is ineffective but it seemed worth trying. My taxi driver laughed.

By 2:30 I was back at the hotel, hot, sweaty and exhausted, with the bulk of Islamic Cairo still unseen. I am hoping to change my plans and skip Alexandria, where it has been raining for days, and instead return to Cairo. This will make for a long stay here - about a week - but this is a city with much to see and, on days when jet lag accompanies the poor traveler, an early retreat to the hotel for a shower and a nap takes priority over a long walk to yet another mosque to wrap my head and unwrap my feet. I will come back, probably with a car, hopefully with a driver who knows enough English to identify the sites but who is not a guide intent on jabbering history lessons in my ear or forcing me into shops where he gets a 50% commission.

After my nap, I went to a famous Cairo cafe - to the more atmospheric branch, near my hotel, according to my guidebook. Now, atmospheric does not mean competent, because it took more than an hour to get and pay for tea, and it would have been far longer had I not been, um... a New Yorker. Then a surprisingly good spaghetti dinner at the Swiss restaurant near my hotel (IT ISNT LAMB KEBAB!!!) and now I sit in the hotel lounge, working my netbook so you can travel with me.

It already feels like the antibiotic is working its magic so now let us pray that the heroine of this tale will spend the coming days with Pharoahs and pyramids instead of with Sudafed and tissues.

TV Teaches
There are two English language TV stations in Cairo - one seems to be all Christian prayers, all the time - and odd choice, given the locale - and the other shows old American movies with sub-titles. So I watch Minority Report and learn about Egyptian culture during the advertisements. For Chili's restaurants. For McDonald's. With fair skinned announcers (is there any other type in countries where skin tone varies?) and none of the women are veiled.

Therefore, if you ask me what an Egyptian looks like, I can say
- a man in a traditional Egyptian robe
- a man in Western clothes with a black spot on his forehead, bigger than a quarter, from kneeling in prayer at the mosque
- a white man, a black man, a man who looks Brazilian.
- a woman with a colorful headscarf and bright fitted clothes
- a woman with a colorful headscarf and a long denim skirt - just like her observant Israeli cousins
- a woman with a colorful headscarf and a long velveteen robe, generally with silvery decoration
- a woman dressed all in black, except for her eyes
- a woman whose head is uncovered, rarely, and only among the affluent.

I am sure that, as I travel to different parts of Egypt, the mix will change. Upper (southern) Egypt will bring the darker skins of Nubia while the women of the oasis will be more conservatively dressed.

Coptic Cairo

I awoke with only the shadow of a cold and a profound appreciation for broad spectrum antibiotics. Off to visit Old Cairo, the home of the Coptic Christians, a people who have lived in Egypt since Christiantity began. But life does not go well for contemporary Copts - in Middle Egypt, there is such violence by the Fundamentalists that the government tries to keep tourists out entirely.

Even in Cairo, the signs of strain are everywhere - and very old.

First, the entrance to Old Cairo is barricaded - you can go by the Metro but a taxi cannot pass the gate. And then, when you are inside the gate, you discover that the entrance to the heart of the area is down stairs, through a heavy, centuries old wooden gate, and then into the old quarter. So life has not been easy for the Copts for centuries - and with the Copts, in centuries passed, lived the Jews, for there is a synagogue dating from the 6th century in the midst of the churches.

The synagogue is beautiful, with inlaid walls and beautiful ceilings (no photos are allowed). While there is a charity box for the poor, I can't imagine that many Jews remain in Egypt - perhaps the elderly who did not migrate at the time of the '67 war, which forever changed the mix of North African cities.

After wandering into old churches, where services were going on, this being Sunday morning, it was time to visit the "other" great museum in Cairo - the Coptic Museum. It is astonishing. And, unlike the Egyptian Museum, uncrowded, allowing me the opportunity to see the astonishing collection of Coptic textiles, most over one thousand years old, and carvings, and icons, and pottery and wood carving - ceilings and the uniquely Egyptian lattice work over the windows. Apparently, the Copts were historically the masters of that craft - and, apparently, the garbage workers, a fact omitted at the museum.

The guidebook says that 3 hours are required for a thorough visit but I am done in perhaps 90 minutes and, after a brief visit to the Hanging Church, which is the most touristy of the lot, I bid farewell to the Copts.

Since I have an enormous amount of time in Cairo - I just canceled my 2 days in Alexandria, at the end of the trip (it is rainy Mediterranean weather), so I will have almost a week in Cairo, which translates to a few hours sightseeing at the start of each day then a mad taxi ride to some affluent part of the city to find a shop recommended in the guidebook.This is more interesting than it sounds - the drivers invariably get lost, so there is a lot of shouting in Arabic, sometimes at me, in an effort to extort more money for the trip (there are no meters; you bargain before stepping in), to call out for directions to other taxi drivers - sometimes while both are driving (hey, Mom - I found something worse than talking on your cell phone while driving!). I get to see parts of the city that lie far beyond the tourist areas, showing me how the more affluent people in Cairo live - and I invariably get to take long walks down obscure residential streets, searching for the shop, because the driver is so frustrated when they finally find the street - and when I refuse to pay more than we agreed to - that I have to walk until I find the building number. When there is one. And when it isn't in Arabic. The numbers increase VERY slowly, so the walks are long but, invariably, I find the shop. So far, I am underwhelmed by the offerings in the best of the shops. They are better than what is in the Khan, but not very interesting or varied. Bedouin embroideries (bags, cushion covers, dresses, shawls), Siwa embroideries, a surprising amount of Central Asian and Indian embroideries and textiles - in fact, one shop that I was in today was featuring embroidered silks from West Bengal. I guess that, while there is an ancient textile tradition in Egypt, the product is the cloth itself and not its adornment.

In one shop in Dokki, on the Western shore, I find lengths of rayon woven in a village in Egypt whose effect is something like ikat, but it is not hand dyed. Still, I buy a few meters and have it hemmed, since the sizes are raw selvage - and I learned my lesson after India, where I neglected to have two bags turned into cushion covers there and instead paid an unspeakable amount to have them modified by my friendly Korean tailor. So I spend the $4 and will have an ironed, finished length available for me tomorrow.

Then back to Zamelek, the island in the Nile, where I saw pricey Egyptian cotton yesterday. I will have a white on white sheet stitched to shower curtain dimensions and then, hopefully, I will find a tailor somewhere who can add button holes for the shower curtain hooks because I can't begin to imagine what the tailor will charge for than in New York. I am surprised that the saleswoman had the sheet put aside from yesterday - but, then, at these prices, I bet they don't sell too much. I would love to buy a set of the beautifully patterned sheets but they are beyond what I'm willing to spend. I am forever spoiled by the prices at Century 21.

After hanging out at a nearby coffee shop in the cool, windy air, it is time for a taxi back to my hotel. Cairo days start off bright and sunny, but the clouds come in as the day passes - but there is never rain, as the brownness of the buildings and the dust give constant testimony to the lack of rain.

The taxi driver agrees to my offer and barrels off - and then it becomes apparent that he has no idea where the street I requested is - or even which part of the city. He demands almost triple the modest fair. I refuse and we argue in Arabic (him) and English (me) while I refuse to budge. The traffic isn't budging either, because today is Sunday, my first work day in Cairo (remember: Friday = Sunday, Saturday = Saturday?? and Sunday = Monday when you're in an Islamic country) so I am unprepared for the traffic. My pissed off driver hurtles down the road until he needs to slam on the breaks and then we sit in the honking jam. The traffic is bad, but far from the worst I've seen - Bangkok gets that honor. Still, when we get to my street, I give him more than I promised and he is all smiles. Taxis are wonderful theater.

"See the Pyramids Along The Nile..."

Well, sort of along the Nile - not on its banks, you understand. Nearby.

First, to Giza, which is really within Cairo these days - and it is the place every tourist in Egypt goes. The only one of the 7 Wonders of the Ancient World still standing. etc., etc., etc.

So it is perhaps a metaphor for the state of the Egyptian government that this most famous of sites is so poorly administered.

Take for example, signs. There are almost none. There are pyramids, which you can pretty much figure out, and a variety of stony piles and holes in the ground, with lots of stone surfaces in between. But when you want to find something like the Solar Boats, you're on your own. If you come in at just the right place, there are a couple of signs pointing the way. But none at the pits. And certainly none pointing to the museum. If you ask one of the many Tourist Police gossiping around the site, you learn that they speak only Arabic. One of the local hustlers helpfully points - the wrong way.

OK, you're thinking, who cares about Solar Boats? The Nile makes Egypt green but most people could care less about Green boats. Except these are thousands of years old and the one on display took 14 years to assemble. So the fact that the pits aren't marked, much less having those useful signboards in multiple languages that explain what you're looking at is pretty sad. Until you contemplate the pyramids.

So... you've just schlepped, I don't know, maybe half way 'round the world. Maybe just a short hop down from ole' Europe. But, still, you made an effort. Don't you think the Egyptians should at least meet you half way?

You go to the ticket window at the site and pay your $11, then you walk past the Sphinx, all the ways up to the big pyramid, climb up the steps and prepare to go inside only to discover that... you don't have the supplemental ticket that is required. You need a separate one for each of the pyramids you can enter. Now... there's no sign at the pyramid, there's no way to buy it at the pyramid - your only option is to hike back to the entry gate and start over. Or decide that the guidebook is right and that you really don't like steep, tight, claustrophic spaces under 600 tons of rock.

Not only is the Egyptian government ticking you off, they are depriving themselves of substantial revenue - $20 to go inside.Yes, it said it in the guidebook but I missed that sentence. You'd think they'd ask when they're selling it to you. You'd think they'd point it out somehow. Nope. Well, if this is how they handle a simple task tied to one of the most important sources of revenue for the country, let's speculate on how well they've done over the years when there have been natural catastrophies. Yes, you're right - help was supplied by the mosques, not the government. And we wonder why there is a problem with Fundamentalists - and that's without going into detail about the government we've supported for so many decades (hint: the President is grooming his son for his job).

And then there's the matter of the antiquities themselves, which survived thousands of generations of tomb robbers, and subsequent rulers recycling the stone on your monuments, only to be mis-handled by modern administrators of the site. People can, and do, touch things - carvings, for example. Or entryways. Now, Egypt gets 5 million tourists a year and what do they all go to see?

The morning is cool and sunny, with a brisk wind that whips the sand into small storms. By evening I am covered with it, and feel grit in my teeth. Sand hurts when it hits your face at a good speed.

In any case, I wander around taking happy snappies for a while and then it is off to the next site - Memphis, where the King was nothing compared to the Collosus, slumbering silently over the millenia. And then Sarqqa, a huge site with one of the pyramids that was built when they were still learning how (another is at nearby site), and incredible tombs. You wander about until you're overfull with temples and then end with a stop at the fabulous museum on site - because it is well edited. None of the "we have 2,000 of those" approach at the Egyptian Museum. Here, a carefully selected group of artifacts tell the story of one man and his creation - and what a story it is. Imhotep, the world's first architect - and, according to the text - the world's first project manager whose museum has things like the first carved finial and the first stone doorway and the first ... you get the idea. THE FIRST - ever. Before him, all was reed and mud. He started building in stone. And oh, what buildings he built.

After Saqqua, I make the driver find the tapestry weaving school founded by Ramses Wissa Wassef, an architect who wanted to teach village children a skill and decided upon weaving. The boys were busy working with their fathers so the girls learned and, today, produce beautiful pictures in wool or in cotton. The museum on site contains amazing pieces, some of which took 18 months to weave and which tell varying stories of village life, or an oasis, or, in one case, served as art therapy for a woman whose husband used her sizable earnings to buy another wife. The women have workshops on the site, generally two women to a room, who come and go as they wish. The arrangement sounds like the little I know of a basket weaving cooperative in Botswana, where the women's work is sold on-line, for hundreds of dollars.

My driver has never heard of this place but gamely asks and, when we ultimately find it, follows me inside. I'm not sure that he grasps the difference between this school, which was designed to nurture the creativity of village children while bringing sizable economic benefits to the village, and the various weaving "schools" that line the road. But I spoke at length with the daughter of the founder, who now runs the place, and told her about other conceptually similar endeavors, notably Shrujun in Gujurat, India. Apparently, her daughter is fond of India and has been there several times. She will now try to contact Shrujun's founder, which would be a wonderful relationship to have fostered. While the school has a few works in museums in Britain - the American response was predictably snooty - she, like everyone who tries to generate income through crafts, needs outlets, as the piles of tapestries and now batiks in the school's gallery attest. She won't accept a donation so I buy a catalog, tempted by one of the affordable tiny cotton pieces but aware that I will never display it. ( I just strolled over to Marla Mallett's site, which is where I discovered these, and see that she has picked the simplest and most naive of the cotton pieces. There are far more sophisticated ones for sale. The wool ones, too, are unimpressive - I suppose she wants to keep the prices reasonable, but it is too bad, because the things the workshop produces are far superior). You can see for yourself http://www.wissa-wassef-arts.com/intro.htm

Otherwise,the countryside outside of Cairo is a rural place, with lots of donkeys pulling carts or serving as transport. The women are more conservatively dressed, some with a whipple that comes down to their hands replacing their urban sister's headscarves. There are not many sheep in evidence - as opposed to in Cairo,where someone drove his flock through downtown on my first evening. There are also a fair number of horse drawn carts - including one on the highway back to town, which is a surprising thing to come upon when rounding a curve.

Your Flight Departs From Terminal 3

I had booked a flight to Luxor that departed at a civilized hour - 10:45 AM and left for the airport at 8:45, after confirming that my flight would leave from the new Terminal 3. This seemed important to check because, previously, Terminal 1 was domestic while Terminal 2 was international and now Terminal 3 is... a little of both. So, thinking back on all the horror stories of friends trying to fly home from Delhi airport I thought it best to...check.

The taxi is the Cairo norm for a "black and white" - meter that no one thinks to use, because it hasn't been updated in decades, no rear seat belts, the rear seat covered in thin protective plastic that is far beyond what the word "shredded" could begin to describe. We hurtle down the highway and exit at the airport turnoff. Fortunately, I am paying attention because we're about to miss the next turnoff so we swing wildly right at the last moment.

There are signs to Terminal 1 and to Terminal 2 but none to Terminal 3 - which I notice but my driver does not because, I rapidly conclude, he is illiterate, which only adds to the usual Cairo chaos of taking a taxi anywhere unusual. We drive up to Terminal 2, with me protesting -in English - that the terminal OVER THERE looks awfully new. But he talks to one of the guards, who directs him left and around and soon we are at the exit plaza where the typically bureaucratic toll taker insists that we pay the 5 Pound fee even though he knows that we're going to go out and turn around and come in again.

Which we do, and go through another circuit of the same. There is a Terminal 3 sign somewhere en route to Terminal 2 but then the trail grows cold. I have distinct memories of a similar loop at the West Palm Beach Florida airport where I circled several times before noticing a turnoff that was labeled for rental car return.

In any case, we are getting nowhere fast and I really need to get somewhere soon so I take over, which is problematic because no one involved speaks English. Still, a white haired American screaming tends to command respect. I am pointing madly to the terminal across the way, which appears to be unreachable by car and is clearly Terminal 3.

So down and around we go and then there are barricades and barriers and more fits by moi until we end up somewhere that leads to an escalator to where I need to be.

I note, with dismay, that this is also where Lufthansa leaves from, which means that I will get to repeat this on November 19th - at 1:30 AM. This does not portend happy travels.

I check in and am told that I will be traveling Business Class, which is all very nice but the flight is all of 75 minutes and makes me assume that (1) anyone who buying on-line overseas is, by definition, being screwed on price vs. the locals and (2) tour groups go in the back around here, which I know is true because a bunch of perky and paunchy middle aged blonds play follow the leader to the back.

In addition to my boarding pass, I am given a special pass to the Business Class lounge. I smile appreciatively and think WHAT? It is an hour until the flight leaves, god only knows where the lounge is - and where my gate is. If Anna's Law of Embarking holds true, my gate will be the last gate at the most distant terminal. I know that it isn't statistically possible but it is true - I am ALWAYS schlepping to the end of the beyond.

So off I go through security, which is very interested in my nail clippers. I mime clipping my nails. He mimes slitting his throat. I shake my head no. Once again in Egypt I am very re-assured by the high caliber of security. After all, I SAID that I wouldn't slit anyone's throat, didn't I? He takes my bottle of water and I proceed. Through Gates G down the people-mover to Gates F and my gate.

Eight of us sit in Business Class and, when the flight arrives in Luxor a short while later, we deplane, get on the bus and are whisked towards the terminal, cattle class not being allowed on the special bus. Of course, all this means is that we have a longer wait at the terminal until our baggage arrives - but I quibble. Business Class has been... special.

The hotel driver meets me and we go to a nearby residential neighborhood, which is where my hotel is located. It is run by an Irish woman who moved to Luxor with her adult son and, I soon discovered, his hot pink haired girlfriend. The place is lovely and homey, with the owner playing quite the Irish mother. I have a suite complete with a kitchen - me, who has debated how to repurpose my kitchen at home - gym? closet? - but it is there, along with Orientalist tapestry and a wonderful Egyptian wood dining set.

After I unpack, I wander into town, which is perhaps a 10 minute walk in the 90 something degree heat. November is the start of the "high" season for tourists and the temperatures are reliably below 100 degrees. But it is a dry heat.

My first goal is lunch, so I try to find the places on the map in the guidebook but come up empty. I stop for water and some cookies to keep from starving and notice that, along with ketchup and mustard flavored Doritos (!), this shop sells Twinkies. This is about the last food group that I expected to find in Egypt, let alone across the road from the Luxor Temple, but there it is. The owner over-charges me for the water and cookies and, as I sit there scarfing them down, feels guilty of failing to offer Islamic hospitality to a traveler and hands me a chocolate bar on the way out. It tastes like wax.

After walking back down the street and up the other side, I see nothing that I would be willing to eat until, just ahead, I see that beacon of hope for travelers everywhere - McDonald's!

Before those of you who never really leave home snort with derision, let me explain the role that those international standbys - McDonald's, KFC and Pizza Hut play when you're somewhere funky. The food is recognizable and safe. And, outside of America, with a bit more of a resemblance to real food. I will never forget my delight, when looking for dinner two days upriver in Borneo, to find a KFC right next to my hotel. And that was in the 1980s, but KFC was already deeply ensconced in the Malay soul because the Kuala Lumpur airport was bedecked with KFC banners - as was the building overlooking the Egyptian Museum in Cairo, which also boasts a large Coca Cola sign, if memory serves.

In any case, I join a bunch of other Anglophones inside and order my new favorite - Spicy fried chicken sandwich, plain, i.e., not drenched in mayo, a horrible thought in the tropics, and minus e-coli ridden lettuce. As I chew contentedly, I notice that McDonald's has goodies for sale. A package of assorted toys for $13. McDonald's tee shirts and, in your choice of three colors, terry bath sheets with the word McDonald's and pictures of pyramids and camels. Now, I was looking for something tasteless to go with my being-renovated-as-I-write bathroom, and this, rather than an alabaster Pharaoh's head - or other body part - might be it. Until I glance at the other wall, which is offering tee shirts and matching bath mats with a drawing of a Big Mac that say something along the lines of "you look at me like I'm just meat." O....K.... I wonder what Corporate thinks of this?

Unable to avoid sightseeing any longer, I go out to find the Luxor Temple which should be, by all accounts, right in front of me. And there does seem to be something that seems like an excellent candidate but... in unison now... there is no sign. No "You hare here" poster. So I walk this way - nope, that's a mosque and I don't have a headscarf - and that way, and then back again, but this time along the Corniche where, finally, there is a sign. This in a place whose sole economic engine is tourism.

I buy my ticket and walk through the metal detector, which chirps as the men nearby talk away. The norm in Egypt is (a) metal detector doesn't work or (b) metal detector works but no one cares or (c) x-ray machine works but no one looks at what is being scanned or (d) you place your items on the working x-ray machine, the man says "if you like" and he looks away as your bag goes through, and as you set off the metal detector when you step through. THIS in the city where 47 tourists were killed by terrorists in 1997 and where it took the police one hour to arrive. For those of you who wonder why I stay at small hotels, I can only respond that they're cheaper and more interesting and THEY ARE LESS LIKELY TO BE TARGETS. I mean, absent the recent attack on the UN Guest house in Afghanistan, do you ever hear of terrorists blowing up HOSTELS? No - they go for the ultra - luxury jobs.

All of this reminds me of the current Red Sea terrorist alert, which singles out "destination resorts" on the Red Sea - and the commercials I kept seeing for Beyonce's first appearance in Egypt on November 6. In a Red Sea resort, of course. Now maybe I'm old and cranky but, really, after Mumbai, and Jakarta, and Bali, how can people keep being so careless with their lives? The government has Egypt locked down tight by corrupt and incompetent police and you're going to ignore high terroism alerts for a holiday is a big Red Sea resort. I'll stick with my Irish woman in the back streets of Luxor, thank you.

In any case, into the Temple in the late afternoon light, with tour groups from every point of the globe being led like so many multi-lingual sheep to see this and this but not this. I wander around, seeing the place with my camera. Some of the carvings are astonishingly intact and beautiful, as are the huge lotus columns in the late afternoon light. I meander down the avenue of the Sphinx, with hundreds of small ones along both sides of the path. And the slanting sun picks out the details of the walls and the columns and the statues and bathes them in golden high relief.

As I am leaving, with more buses arriving like clockwork, I notice the deserted outer side of the Temple, facing the Nile. No one is there and the huge wall of inscriptions is illuminated by the sun. I will never understand tour groups, which will favor historically important sites over those that are beautiful at a particular time of the day.

I walk along the Nile, taking pictures of felucas against the rose-tinged sunset, because sometimes taking pictures of pretty sunsets is simply the right thing to do.

It is now 5 PM and I would like a drink somewhere pretty - but the town seems deserted. The bars at the 5 star colonial hotel overlooking the Nile are empty, as are the tourist cafes in the center. Where ARE all the tourists? Tucked away at 5 star hotels somewhere, I suspect. On their buses. Certainly not in town.

Discouraged, I decide to wander the tourist souk, even though I know that I will be hassled and there is nothing to buy. Or even to look at. I have never seen a country where there is nothing remotely tasteful to buy. And this isn't a Manhattan snob's opinion - the Irish woman says the same. The Bedouin embroideries, which normally would interest me, have all the hallmarks of factory production - lifeless, uniform design.

I wander back to my hotel, anticipating a problem crossing the train station because, for some unknown reason, they started cracking down on who enters two weeks ago. I can't help but wonder if someone is planning to blow up a train. But I can't be fearful in the land of the Pharaohs.

The Corner of Street of the Sphinxes and Street of the Tour Buses

It feels like I have been in Egypt forever until I fire up my iPhone at breakfast and discover a bleak message from my contractor - the floor tile, which he needs, um, tomorrow... hasn't been delivered and the plumbing fixture drama is continuing. Back up to my room to get the netbook and I start firing off emails - to the tile saleswoman - and, with a much nastier tone, to the plumbing salesman and his boss. I point out - and firmly believe - that things are falling off their trucks, which is why the packing slips say delivered but they haven't been. Since my contractor and I both think he's jerking us around, the gloves come off and "that thing that rhymes with witch" makes an appearance. My emails to the big bosses bounce back, undelivered, so I try them separately. One brother doesn't clear his mailbox.

Two hours later, I head out for Karnak Temple, the spell broken by realities demands - and my boss wonders why I don't want an international Blackberry to keep up with work emails.

Now, the guidebook advises an early start, before the site is flooded with tour groups. But I'm not a morning person and the time I spent project managing meant that I rolled in at noon to a parking lot filled with tour buses big and small. Well, it turned out that noon was perfect timing, because all the groups were heading out to lunch. This is Persopolis, redux - there, I had the site entirely to myself while here there were knots of tourists, but not the sea that greeted me when I entered.

Speaking of entry, the metal detectors and X ray machines at the entry are entirely unmanned and those at the inner entry unenforced.

The oddest thing about the entry to Karnak are the row of sphinxes - these have ram's heads and hold statutes of ancient men in front of them. I am sure there is some explanation that doesn't revolve around bestiality but I don't know what it is - something else for me to learn.

Soon I am wandering the Temple, struck by how much remains - first carvings and then, when I'm exploring corners that tour groups bypass, I discover paint - ceilings and, here and there, the upper reaches of the walls. I am entranced. The longer I spend, the more I want to stay, wandering here and there, looking at things in the shifting light.

I describe my photography as "picture taking behavior" because I rarely look at the final shots. This description has special resonance because I am reading Temple Gradin's book Thinking In Pictures. She is a high functioning autistic with a PhD who specializes in designing humane systems for handling cattle. Her book talks about the different ways austic minds function - she "thinks in pictures." Thus I reflect upon the difference between me and all the people on tours, with guides or reading from their guidebooks to know where to look. They are focusing on what I call "the history lesson" which interests me not at all. I focus on what has survived and delights my eyes. They are more likely to be verbal thinkers while I,although no slouch for words, am doing exactly what she describes - using the camera to upload images into my memory bank. It is such a different way of perceiving the world.

I enjoy books on cognitive styles because there are ways I can learn and things that I can't, which used to mean I was dumb even though everyone knew that I was really smart. These books explain the differing profiles of how minds work and to encounter similarities here is unexpected. Since the Egyptians used hieroglyphics, a picture language, I wonder how autism manifests itself in countries that use pictorial languages, like China and Japan. But, at the moment, it gives me a new understanding of why I travel the way I do and why the way most people travel is of so little interest to me.

And then there's the history of Egypt I just finished, by a prominent Egyptologist, who mocks the "historical fiction" that passes for fact while pointing out how often someone's name was chiseled out of the rock and replaced by someone elses and that the chronologies make little sense, at best. So I'm not sure what all these guides, who speak with such certainty, actually know. I prefer to have the general idea of it all, formed when I was 10, looking at artifacts in the Brooklyn Museum, now seen where they come from, decades later. I could not have imagined this on those rainy Saturday afternoons. But, then, I could not have imagined most of my life then.

There are no meaningful signs, so I miss the Outdoor Museum (an odd name, since all of Karnak is outdoors). I discover this when I am back in the main building, re-reading the guidebook, so I trek back to the entry, where the guard accuses me of lying that I'd already been in, I offer to show him my photos.

The Museum is, off course, to be found by following the signs to the WC. I pay the separate entry fee (there's no consistency to this) and wander, alone, amongst small, perfect buildings. One has the original paint on most of the figures who are, appropriately, red skinned, this being Upper Egypt, close to Nubia. Other buildings have small scale, beautiful carvings set here and there into the walls - all that remains but...

Finally, hunger drives me from the site at 3PM. There is some part of my brain that connects to the light and shadows and carving and camera until I am intoxicated.

After lunch, I seek out the snack shop in the center of town because it has free WiFi and it is now business hours in New York. The owner of the plumbing supply shop, and his untrustworthy salesman, have responded, so I know that I've done what I can to escalate the case of the missing shower head (I've told the contractor to buy another one if this is going to delay things. Disputing charges on Amex is empowering.)

Of more concern, there is no email from the tile saleswoman, so I send another email, regretting my urgency.

I then wander into McDonald's and discover the murals on the upper floors - one is of Ronald McDonald with the Spinx or some such and I frame it so the real Luxor Temple is part of the shot. You just can't make this stuff up. I also notice a very soft, English language sound track explaining their hygienic food handling processes - which is, of course, the reason I'm here.

Having whiled away some time in a fly free space (flies are the bane of my existence here. They don't care, at all, about DEET,), the drug seeker I am goes back to check email and the tile woman has responded. Now this is important. I tell her my schedule and, by the time I return to my hotel, there is an email scheduling the delivery for tomorrow. WHEW! I so did not want to spend my vacation hasseling suppliers.

The hotel is serving dinner tonight - they don't every night - and I sign on. Soon I am confronting a 3 course, 15 dish feast of mezes, soups and salads, all prepared so a tourist can eat them. I make myself stop and mourn the fact that I can't take the leftovers to my room - there is a refrigerator, after all. I would gladly eat these leftovers for the rest of my time here. Of course, while I eat I am catching up on old Sunday NY Times Magazine articles and the one I am working my way through concerns an experiment on the benefits of calorie restriction. Poor choice.

Go West, Young Man: Thebes

Nothing like an afternoon in the great Thebian necropolis to understand what "hotter than Hell" means - and I am here at the beginning of November, when it is... cool(er).

It is hard to explain the enormous barrenness that is Thebes - hilly wasteland blasted by the sun. It is impossible to imagine men laboring, for centuries, to build and decorate these tombs.

Since the tour groups hit the Valley of the Kings in the morning, I arrived at noon, to an almost empty site and a relentless sun. I am now in full tourist regalia - Quick Wick khaki pants, a slightly over-sized SPF 50 white shirt, with sleeves atypically buttoned at the wrist and collar popped up to protect the back of my neck. And, to complete the look, one of those awful wide-brimmed khaki hats. But, as the Australian government advises, "slip, slap, slop" - slip on a shirt, slap on a hat and slop on sunscreen. Considering that I am fully clothed, it is reasonably cool - or as cool as clothing gets at High Noon in Thebes.

Thebes can't make up its mind what the ticket rules are, so you buy some at the old ticket booth near the Colossi of Mannon and others at the entry to the site. My pockets are stuffed with tickets and small bills because, as is typical of developing countries everywhere, no one has any change. The ATM spits out 200 Pound notes (~$40) which make most locals whine for small bills when they see them. In response, I break 200 pound notes wherever possible, so I have the endless 1 Pound coins needed for tips and access to toilets. The only advantage that Egypt has is that no one cares that the bill has been torn and taped back together or is decidedly raggedly. Money is money, which makes things so much easier.

The Colossi sort of stand there, with ruined faces, by the side of the road, a quick stop en route to more important places. As I am leaving, two huge tour buses pull up. A close one.

Now, for all sorts of good reasons, you're not allowed to take photos inside the tombs - so imagine my surprise when I take a photo of a map of the site which, atypically, not only shows where things are but also their dynasty, how steep the access is and whether a given tomb is wheelchair accessible - and a man bearing a repeating rifle or something stubby, nasty and lethal tells me to hand over my camera. I try to point out to him that there is no prohibition on taking photos outside the tombs, but there are limits to how much you're going to argue with a muscular man with a large weapon in an authoritarian regime. I check my camera as I watch a Russian tour group stroll past, swinging cameras.

A ticket, bought at the site, allows you to pick three tombs to see - but some of the major tombs are closed - for rest. You can't blame them. These tombs survived because they were out in the dry, lifeless desert air for centuries. Now, warm bodied, water vapor and carbon dioxide emitting humans are wandering through in great numbers. Nefertiti's tomb, in the Valley of the Queens, if permanently closed because it was damaged by tourism.

In any case, the wall paintings are extraordinary - you can take my word for it or look them up on-line, because there will be no snappies to show. While I am awed by the colors, my experience of being in a place that I can't photograph is fundamentally different than a place that I can.

From Kings, we go to the great King Queen, H....., which is beautiful, depite being defaced after her death by a successor Pharaoh - they often did that. I am uncomfortable here, knowing that 47 tourists were killed here in 1997. It is a discomfort akin to what I felt at the Taj Hotel in Mumbai in February, although there, because the horror was new, the security was tight. Here, it is shockingly lax, which only adds to my discomfort.

Once you leave Kings, the tour groups fall off sharply. There is the odd German or other group but most do Kings and then on to Karnak and/or Luxor - it is the only way to "do" Luxor in a day. For me, this is unimaginable - not only do you miss much of what there is to see but it has to all blur together from sheer sensory and physical overload.

Then on to the Valley of the Nobles, where I see bas reliefs of astonishing delicacy - the faces full of expression and each hair detailed. Unfortunately, I discover that I have bought a ticket to only one of the tombs, so I am not allowed to see the other two on my list. Now, again I must admit that the fault is mine - the guidebook said that you needed a ticket to each tomb - but when I said "Valley of the Nobels" at the ticket office, I got a ticket, and not a question "which one?" Needless to say, there was no sign. The stupidity of the Egyptian government is just overwhelming. There I am, at a site, willing to pay to see things I've travelled thousands of miles to see, but my only option is to drive back several miles to get the right ticket. You'd think they could get one of the numerous people working at the site to sell tickets with some semblance of accountability.

From there, it is on to the Valley of the Workers - actually, their town - with three newly discovered and quite amazing small tombs just above them. Groups are not allowed in them because the rooms are so small - only a few meters in each direction - but the painting is extraordinary - walls, ceilings.

At this point, I have spent 4 hours in Thebes and I am done for the day. I can't imagine trying to see more. There is no way to absorb it. And the heat reflecting off the ground and the walls of the tombs and the valleys is enervating. Despite my taxi driver's protestations of undying love for me (don't ask - I have no idea. When he inquired about my family situation I told him that I was the divorced mother of three. Not as creative as I was in Kashmir decades ago, when I claimed 7 and a Chinese dentist husband, or in Syria, where I shamelessly passed photos of my friend's sons around the bus, but just simpler than explaining "single" in a culture where that concept doesn't exist.)

My driver, Hassan, who speaks good English in endless cliches, says he teaches primary school in the morning and drives a taxi in the afternoon. Given what teachers are paid in many countries, this is entirely possible, assuming that morning classes end quite early, since I hire him at noon. He quotes me a very reasonable fare and agrees to my pre-conditions (no shops, no tea, no going off to pick up another passenger while I am at a site). This, and a few other very reasonable fares and prices that I've been quoted, makes me think that tourism must be really, really bad this year. Yes, there are a lot of groups, but I can't tell whether there are more or less than normal - and drivers like Hassan are unaffected by group tourism, which is controlled by large agencies.

The West Bank differs noticeably from the East Bank, where the town of Luxor is located. Here, people not only get around by donkey cart, they also use camels for transport - and I don't mean tourists. The villages are filled with square block houses with brightly painted doors. Here and there is some greenery, but it is noticeable more in its absence.

Since I've spent so much time in Asia over the years, most recently India, I am struck by the lack of personal transportation. Aside from animals, there are a few bicycles,some motor scooters and some cars - but shared mini-vans are, by far, the main form of vehicular transport. While I never did figure out what was going on in Vientianne, Laos, where there simply was no traffic of any kind, the fact that most people don't seem to own any type of transportation in Egypt's #2 tourist destination provides an insight into the horrific state of the economy, which enables Fundamentalism to thrive.

The other difference I note in Luxor is the absence of black prayer marks on men's foreheads. I haven't seen any here, while I a fair number of men in Cairo had them. I'd love to know more about the social dynamics at work here.

I take the ferry back across the Nile to Luxor, which is really a charmless town. Neglected until the 19th century, it is now receiving too much attention from a government intent upon cleaning up the place. This has meant the demolition and relocation of the souk, so it is now 100% tourist tacky (think Mulberry Street in Little Italy) and the demolition of a large swath of buildings between Luxor and Kanark Temples. Apparently, the plan is to have an open plaza between the two - architectural wonders like Tienamen Square and the parking lot below the Patola Palace in Tibet come to mind - but there is some,,, disagreement... about what to do with the mosques that are in the way. I think there might also be an evangelical church slated for demolition but the politics there are profoundly different.

Now that I have seen the three principal complexes in Luxor, I am glad that I saw one on each day. Even though it meant that I had lots of spare time to kill, it gave me an opportunity to appreciate each one. In all honesty, Thebes deserves two visits - a four hour visit is exhausting - but at least my mind had time to reflect upon each site.

Tomorrow I will overspend on a mini-bus tour organized by my hotel to two extraordinary temples north of Luxor. I am sure that I could have found a less expensive option, but I am too lazy to shop around to save $25 or so and there really is no way to see these places except with a car, so I force myself to make peace with breakfast at 6:30 AM and a long day in a bus, with an Egyptologist guiding us through the sites. and a packed lunch - given the available options, I'll have eggs for breakfast and for lunch. Yum. Fortunately, there will only be a handful of us and I doubt that there will be any large tours.

Abydos & Dendera Temples
There are two temples, very different than the ones in Luxor, that are a few hours north, so seven of us from the hotel piled into a mini-bus to drive 2 1/2 hours to the Temple of Seti I, Abydos, a cult center for Orisis. It is a large, stunning roofed complex with stunning paintings and carvings dating from ~1800 BC. I had warned the guide, who was chatting with someone I took to be a self-styled Egyptologist, that I would be more interested in photographing the site than in listening to his explanation - and the proved true. He stood in the front hall and talked for about 20 minutes; the lovely couple without the cameras were heard asking for dates. I totally tuned out then they got to the "mystery" of the helicopters carved into the ceiling. There's a whole New Age deal about this temple, and Oom Seti, who was Irish, and also these helicopters. I'm with the author of the very entertaining history of Egypt I just read: Pyramystics.

I detached myself from the group and roamed the halls, photographing the many things there were to see. I don't really understand how they can, appropriately, be worried about the deleterious effects of flash while having all the walls lit from below with fluorescent bulbs. I mean, light is light. Because spots were chopped out of the roof above, to let in light, and there are fluorescents below, I have no idea what the photos will look like and suspect that I'm in for a lot of PhotoShopping if they are to look like anything at all.

Most of the figures were clearly and obviously destroyed - or, in a word, defaced - everywhere in the temple. The destruction was limited to figures - fruits and objects were untouched. According to the guide, this was done by the Copts, who used this temple for their own rites. It never fails - regime change and there goes the art. Sometimes it is a statue of Stalin or Saddam Hussar, sometimes it is Pharonic carvings, sometimes the Buddha loses his heads in Borobudur, Java.

We went to the back of the temple and viewed a large subterranean area that was flooded by 3 meters of water. The Egyptologist had been involved with buying a pump - which was there, turned off. I don't know the details but rising groundwater is a problem in several places in Egypt - the woman at the tapestry school outside of Cairo had serious problems with it, there are problems in Luxor and now this. I should read up to understand what is going on but it looks pretty disastrous.

As I chat with the guide and the Egyptologist about how hard it is to buy the right tickets to places, I am told that, at the pyramids in Giza, there was no way to buy a ticket to go into the pyramids at the entrance the driver took me to, by the Sphinx. Apparently, those tickets are sold only at the ticket office at the other side of the site and, since the number is sharply restricted, there is no possibility of anyone who is not on a tour getting inside. My guidebook had said to come early to get in within the quota but was mute concerning which ticket office had to be used.

The other thing that the Egyptologist, my guide and I gossiped about was the banning of all photos in the Valley of the Kings and the very stiff fines imposed, on the spot, by the Director of the site on anyone who transgresses (roughly $10 per photo). I am sure that the world of Egyptologists is small and the gossip juicy, but the two of them agreed that the Director of Antiquities, or somesuch esteemed person, didn't want photos of what was going on. In fact, they said that a famous hotel in Aswan was closed not for renovation, as the guidebook said, but because there was an interesting find on the lawn and the Director didn't want guests taking home souvenirs. They also agreed that the nicer the camera, the higher the fine. Apparently, this cat and mouse game has been going on for some time with tricks like disposable cameras, switching memory cards and all sorts of things being used to circumvent the policy. On the way back, I warn one of the Indonesian woman, a PhD student in Rotterdam with a huge lensed Nikon SLR not to be tempted when they go tomorrow. She laughs and says that she will take one photo inside. I warn her not to, because they might take her camera and, since she obviously is not wealthy, she can ill afford a large fine.

The guide tells me that, in this part of Egypt, it is more common for women to have prayer callouses on their foreheads and some old women have green tattoos on their foreheads and chin. I don't know about Egypt, but there is a long tradition of facial tatoos on Berber women across North Africa and this is in the neighborhood, albeit Bedouin and not Berber, but I am sure these tribes' share customs.

The guarded caravans that the government required to prevent terrorist attacks have recently been eliminated. The guide said that, for all the years they were in existance, the tour buses traveling in them spent their time passing each other, until they were at the front of the line, behind the military vehicle. It really does make you wonder about human behavior behind the wheel.

The Egyptian government is so protective of tourism that, when a woman feel off of a temple roof, they closed all roofs that did not have parapets. They were unwilling to deface ancient guildings by putting up guard rails so they simply closed all the roofs. A similar attitude was on display this year, when a woman was grievously injured during a balloon ride in the Luxor dawn. Every balloon was pulled out of the air, the operators sent for training and now, months later, they have just begun to fly again, but are limited to a single 45 minute flight each day. In the past, each operator had two, 1 hour flights. The flights, which were the object of many discussions on TripAdvisor.com, resumed only 3 days ago. I would have liked to see dawn that way but I didn't know they were going again - and now I am leaving Luxor.

Four members of the group are a blond British American couple and their two young children. When I ask them where they're from, she replies "Jerusalem" which is an interesting response because she did not say Israel. As we talk, she tells me that her husband is in charge of humanitarian relief in Gaza for the British government - a difficult task, to say the least. Later in the day, when the daughter, who looks to be about 4 years old, falls asleep, her brother, who is probably 6, explains to his father how she will be up all night because she napped earlier and now is napping again. The father pats his son on the back and says, to himself, "You're too young to be worrying so much about other people." Given his work, the tenderness and implications of this comment stay with me for days. It is a special burden that he carries.

We now drive to Dendara, a cult center of Hathor from pre-dynastic times - which means we're talking really, really, really old cults - but a relatively new temple, dating only from 125 BC. This, too, is fully roofed but the joy here is that it is being cleaned and, in one section of the outer court, the original colors shine brightly. The guide says that they do not know how to make the colors that were used in Pharonic times but, while I have seen little bits of color here and there, in this place are entire sections of ceiling and walls. While the guide informs his rapt audience, one of the guards sees my interest in the restored section and allows me through the barricade to photograph from up close. All that for a tip of 20 cents. We walk through the various halls, which are quite interesting, with stylized goddesses everywhere, including huge reliefs on some ceilings. Upstairs is a mummification room - it took 72 days, and the walls are a veritable "how to" of paintings. Viscera out, into special jars, heart in, because it will be needed in the next life. Unfortunately, I think "brain" goes with the viscera, the the next world may not be terribly intellectual. One blackened zodiac ceiling is a replica, provided by the French, who have the original in their museums. This is one of those arguments with no right answer - should countries be forced to give all this stuff back? In the new museums there seems to be a level of conservation that will preserve these ancient wonders, but at the sites, there is no end of touching walls as you crawl down through the floor to see a subterranean room. And, if you look carefully at Luxor Temple, you will see some early 19th century graffitti caved by Europeans who came here when all was forgotten. So, had it been left where it belonged, it might well not have survived. As I said, there is no answer.

By 5PM, the tour is over and I steel myself to go to the tourist souk to find some Egyptian CDs. I asked the guide for recommendations and, while I decided against the highly recommended pop music, I did buy some Egyptian drum and oud music and another belly dancing CD - I really prefer Persian belly dancing music to Arabic but, given the current festivities in Iran, I don't think I'll come across anything new soon. My tour mates had been off wandering and we all run into each other at McDonalds, which is both pathetic and easy if you don't feel like exploring to find your next meal. Remembering the refrigerator in my room, I order an extra meal, to eat on the road tomorrow.

By this point, I need a break from sightseeing and I suspect that, after a day spent driving to the oasis and another day back, the last thing I will want to do will be to get into a car to drive to Aswan, seeing some minor temples en route. So I book a flight to Aswan for a mere $60 with thoughts of spending some time out by the pool and in overpriced restaurants because I booked myself into a luxury hotel since there seemed to be a lack of viable options. And now I am glad that I did, because I can use a few days of pampering myself. I am sure that I will do sightseeing in addition to the pre-dawn flight to Abu Simbel but at least I will come back to some place luxurious. The places I've stayed, and will return to in Cairo, are fine but rather basic and I need some place pretty to hang out. I simply can't do 21 days of sightseeing. Still, I am glad that I spent four days in Luxor because today's temples were worth seeing, because they add a different dimension to Pharonic times.

Midnight At The Oasis

6 PM, actually.

I left Luxor at 9AM by mini-bus, which meant that I had 6 hours to figure out all the possible ways I could lie down. The thing about traveling through the desert is that there are miles and miles with NOTHING to see.

You quickly leave the "city" of Luxor and enter a flat wasteland, where there are no buildings, no trees, nothing, for miles upon miles upon miles, hour after hour. The landscape changes from flat to odd stone mounds, back to flat, distant hills but complete and utter wasteland. You can read about how the Nile gives life to a narrow strip of Egypt, you can see it on a map - but not until you drive through it, for hours upon hours, can you understand how barren the rest of the country is.

Until you come to an oasis, which we do after about three hours.

Palm trees rise out of nowhere, suddenly, islands of green and life. And just as quickly, they stop, and you are back to the wasteland.

The road is black tarmac across the wasteland, broken every 45 KM or so by military checkpoints. The driver says "Ameriki" and license plates are written down and off we go again. Each of these checkpoints, in the middle of no where, is staffed by two men, except the one near Bagdad, the first oasis from Luxor, which has three. Just before each of these, the driver puts on his seat-belt. As we leave, he takes his off.

When we stop for the Baghdad checkpoint, an obviously important man in traditional robes and a white turban around a red cap gets in after some discussion with the driver. The driver puts on a tape of what sounds like a fire-and-brimstone Imman, in honor of his guest, who is addressed as Haji. Now the interesting thing in all this is that I am never acknowledged as existing, my permission is not requested, and the fact that I have hired the taxi is irrelevant. Haji (a man who had made be on a Haj to Mecca) gets out at the next oasis and we drive on. The driver puts on pop music.

An endless number of hours later, we arrive at Daklah Oasis and the Desert Lodge, an eco lodge that is positioned on a hill overlooking an ancient town. Everything is local materials, sustainable, solar powered and done to WHO standards. In other words, no water in plastic bottles but something locally distilled instead. True mineral water, with the mineral content listed on the label.

The hotel is built like an oasis town, with two story mud block buildings clustered around walkways. When you walk up to the edge of the bluff, you look down over the town and the surrounding hills. The light is beautiful.

There was a misunderstanding about what I was paying for - I thought I would have a car while I am here but learn that I need to hire it separately. Since this is yet another hotel that charges in Euros, I am concerned because cars are not cheap to hire in Egypt. Fortunately, the price is in Egyptian Pounds - cash only at this hotel, so I need to find the ATM in town - and is only $30 for a half day. But without a car you are stranded - yes, a bike is possible, but let's get real.

Even though I had been told that the hotel was full the night before, it seems like the only other guests are a modestly sized German tour group who will leave tomorrow. Some seem to be repeat visitors to this hotel. I'm a bit confused by the affection some tourists seem to have for Egypt - on TripAdvisor there are people who have been to Luxor 20 or 30 times.

After taking a politically correct shower, I apply DEET to every exposed body surface, shuddering at the owner's likely reaction to chemicals and foil sealed towelettes. Feeling reckless, I drink the coke I brought from Luxor. I then go out to take photos of the dramatic sunset which lights up the hills. I watched the light as we neared Daklah and the quality of the light is just striking.

It turns out that the hotel is full. There are two groups of painters - one from Germany and one from Switzerland - who spend the day in a studio outbuilding somewhere on the grounds. I had been told that there would be a folkloric show and I was surprised by the quality of the group, from Kharga Oasis. They perform dances of Dakhla and Kharga - the first, a dance enactment of young people meeting at the river and getting married. It is both extremely professional and very witty. The second performance, a dervish extravaganza, is extraordinary. One man dances and spins for easily 20 minutes, manipulating props including two huge skirts, one of which becomes a giant pinwheel. The final act is Bedouin flutists encouraging the Germans to dance. Some sure-fire audience participation techniques never fail.

I had heard that there were two Americans at the hotel - young women from NY who just graduated from Columbia School of Architecture and received a grant to travel for a month, studying North African and Levantine architecture, traditional and modern. They are, justifiably, concerned about what the job market will hold when they return - the best I can think of is "at least you didn't major in journalism." I'd read in today's Times that the actual unemployment rate is 17+%. It is a truly terrible time to graduate.

Car to the Qasr

8AM seems to be the standard breakfast time for the mix of eager beaver and middle aged insomniacs that are staying at the hotel so there is no sleeping in today. And I have a car coming at 9 to take me 'round Al-Qasr, the town at the bottom of the bluff whose origins lie in Roman times.

The old, abandoned part of Al Qasr is a series of cubist mud and straw buildings, mostly homes but also a mosque and a madrassa. This town uses one of the common techniques for thwarting invaders: low doorways across many of the streets, not only making it impossible to attack while mounted on horse or camel but also while standing upright. There are variations of this technique in central Turkey and in Pharonic tombs and temples - witness yesterday's how low can you go limbo at Dendara.

The old city reminds me of the casbah's south of the Atlas Mountains in Morocco, with lots of interesting shadows in long corridors.

The new city contains an active pottery and forge, where the fire is kept hot by a man working huge old bellows. For whatever benefits the oasis gardens bring, this is a very poor town, out in the middle of nowhere, largely cut off from anywhere. The women attempt to sell baskets they have woven but they are utilitarian.

We then drive to "the gardens" which arise suddenly amongst the sands. We go to a friend of the drivers, where I am plied with huge oranges, fresh off the tree, which have an amazing smell and with dates. I am shown the mango tree and the pineapple bush. Then I am introduced to the cows - the flies are intense. They're bad even at the hotel, but NOTHING like what they are amidst a bounty of fresh manure.

When we leave, I attempt to thank the owner in the time honored Egyptian manner - by shaking his hand with a few Egyptian pounds of baksheesh pressed into his palm - but he refuses it. This is true hospitality to a guest.

The primary vehicle around the oasis is a two wheeled donkey cart driven by boys or men, never women. The men wear either Islamic caps (rarely), headscarves or brimmed hats woven from the local palm fronds. They generally wear the long Egyptian cotton gown, which is cool and meets Islamic standards for modesty. I find it much more graceful than the women's black velour robes.

As we drive out of the oasis, the driver stops and pulls up a bush that is growing - PEANUTS! - now, I know that peanuts are a plant, but I'd never seen one - nor had I ever (attempted) to eat a fresh, unroasted peanut. Don't. There is a reason that they boil them (in the South) or roast them everywhere else. For lack of a better metaphor, I would say that they taste... green.

Then back to the hotel for a lazy afternoon reading. There are only 5 other guests, the Swiss painters, so the hotel is oddly quiet. I had assumed that I would kick back from endless tourism in Aswan but this may be the needed break. I have the ability to do absolutely nothing for days at a time, which unnerves hotel staff who are accustomed to guests dashing madly too and fro. But I have been doing that since I arrived and, before I left, I was working until midnight on the trip and the renovation, so I am glad of some quiet time.

I check my email - $4 per half hour! - and note the sign "please cover the computers when you are done to keep the sand out." I tell my contractor that I had a vivid and unpleasant dream about... floor tile... just before I awoke this morning and tell him that I hope the job is going well. I really don't want to come home to what I saw in my dream - a mis-match of cheap Chinese floor tiles and futile attempts to reach a tile dealer. You never know what your subconscious is up to, because the renovation could not be further from my mind, now that the last delivery problems appear to have been sorted out.

After sunset, which comes surprisingly early, the wind picks up. It howls and,this being the desert, deposits sand on you is you sit still for even a few minutes. I think about the two young Americans, who are camping this night, and my email to someone in Cairo who encouraged me to spend time in the desert "Force 10 gale when we camped in Tunisia in '78" - I am very happy to have windows I can close because this is a very, very strong wind. It is absurdly early to be tucked into my room, but I have lots to read and lots of music. I hope to reduce the electronics still further on my next trip, but, on this one, I have dual eReaders and dual music libraries, thanks to the endless capabilities of my iPhone.

The man who staff Reception (which I should note, sits absurdly beyond unused metal detectors. Who, exactly, is going to schlep out here to attack? And how would metal detectors prevent anything? Everyone's got a camera - and more) and I have been chatting and today he decides that I need a name in Arabic. I point out that my last name, Stern, translates to star, but he wants to stay with my first initial, so I become Amany, which means "wish." I think of Alex giving his daughter "cloud" as her Chinese name, which seemed depressing until I heard his rationale, that clouds are fluffy white things free to go wherever they want in the sky. (Had Alex been Jewish, he would have thought of clouds as grey, depressing things, which is why I was so surprised at his choice of name.). In any case, I shudder to think whose wish I might be but wish I now am.

I hate the hotel mineral water, which leaves my tongue feeling coated. On short order this afternoon, I drank a club soda, Pepsi and a beer in an attempt to quench an odd mouth thirst. There is not an un-ecological plastic bottle of normal water for many miles, I fear, so I thinks club soda is me for now. Whining aside, this being an organic Swiss eco lodge means that it is perfectly safe to eat the salads and mezzes, which are delicious. The amount of food served is enormous and the sense of a balanced Western diet odd - meat with pasta and potatoes? This is up there with the Dutch meal I had years ago - meat with potatoes and a vegetable - which was a second order of potatoes. However, the hygienic standards means that I can eat "foul" for breakfast. That's short for foul mandemas (?), the bean paste dish that is the staple of the Egyptian diet, with falafal for breakfast. Plus some salty feta type chese - all foods I'd be afraid to try in most restaurants.

It is now 8:45PM. I have done the laundry, a traveler's nightly chore. But traveling with "engineered" fabrics is different in Egypt - they dry in a flash in the desert air. I have been wearing the same (freshly laundered) long sleeved white shirt every day while sightseeing. I have another - but this one is always dry in the morning, so why bother changing? Even socks, the bane of the travelers existence, dry quickly.

After The Storm

The wind howled all night. It kept me from sleeping and jolted me when I woke briefly during the night. I had shut all the windows facing the wind, but still it came through the spaces in the frames. I was very, very glad not to be camping, knowing how small a tent can feel on a dark and stormy night.

It was cool and breezy when I went to breakfast, a feast of small dishes that could amply feed a family of four. I skipped the foul this morning, which came submerged under a 1/4" of oil. I am sure that it is all very healthy, but it is not the way I want to start a day.

After breakfast, I deposit myself in a seating area under a woven roof, which keeps it cool in a way that a plastic roof would not. Here, breezes come through the open sides while the warm air rises through the roof. The entire structure is wisely built along the shady side of one of the buildings, so it never gets any sun. The background music, five times a day, is the beautiful Muslim call to prayer, which echos across the town.

I am very lazy, not even venturing to the edge of the bluff to take photos. Now and then I lift my camera and take a shot as the light changes but I know that should get up and take a few steps, but there is nothing compelling enough to make me do so.

In mid-morning, I am joined by three people from Holland, one of whom owns another eco-lodge in the area. They tell me, without hesitation, what a mistake I made not spending a night in the White Desert, which is an additional three hour drive from here - but it would have been very expensive to do without joining a tour, because the car from Luxor cost 120 EUROS. 98% of the people who come to this hotel are European, which I think is the case for the desert circuit in general (Siwa Oasis excepted), so last year the company that runs the hotel and the cars changed from dollars to Euros, which makes the whole thing vastly more expensive for an American, now that the dollar is at record lows against the Euro.

While talking to them, I learn that there is now a weekly Dakhla / Cairo flight - it started last week. I tell them that they should post this information on TripAdvisor.com and learn that they have no idea what it is. We adjourn to the "Internet Cafe" and I show it to them. They look up the hotel that the couple stayed at in Cairo, at the suggestion of an Egyptian friend - apparently, quite the horror. They are very interested to see all the horrible reviews of the place on TripAdvisor, especially when I point out that it is ranked 105 out of 122 hotels in Cairo - not a good thing. I also show them reviews of another place, owned by the same woman that owns the eco-lodge, I think, and she is very pleased by what they wrote about the food - until I point out that the review is from 2007 and the two recent reviews are more measured in their comments.

This woman will now look into getting her hotel online and I suggest that she try to become a "destination expert" for the area, after explaining what that means. To be on the safe side, she takes my email address, in case she has questions. It is so interesting to see people's understanding of the power of the on-line world transformed, as it was for these people, who are probably the same age I am. They simply do not know how vastly access to information has changed and how democratized it has become, to the point that I no longer bother with hotel reviews in guidebooks, vastly preferring on-line reviews instead. Of course I warn them that they will read "I loved it" and "It was horrible" reviews of the same places, which will make them crazy, but, overall, it is an astonishing resource.

I then check email and find a question about... grout... and some observations about my wall tiles from my contractor. I give him the best advice that I can, which concerns something that is almost impossible to put in writing, and tell him to use his best judgment. I did detailed designs to the extent that is humanly possible - and then some - but now some of the realities of the job are coming up and, even if I was there, I'm not sure that I'd have answers. In any case, being here, with desert vistas and interesting sites to occupy my mind, I am able to let go and remind him that, at the end of the day, all we're talking about is a bathroom. He is too good a craftsman to do a bad job and roaming around Egypt makes obsessing about whether to use sanded or unsanded grout on one part of the floor absurd. If I have learned nothing else in life, it is that you plan as best you can and then you need to take it live and see what happens. Of course there will be problems - witness my "failure" to go to the White Desert - but, in the totally of things, who cares?

A large German tour group has just arrived. I assume that they are on an oasis tour because some of them wear traditional checked headscarves Arab style while the rest are in the requisite khaki hats and vests. They are uniformly broad beamed and toting amazing amounts of luggage. One of them checks into a room near where I am sitting and immediately begins to scream into her phone. The tranquility of sharing this 32 room hotel with only an handful of Swiss painters is gone.

The hotel is designed to resemble a village, with 4 rooms to a 2 story building. There are archways and latticed windows so the overall aspect is very charming. From speaking to the Egyptian owner of this hotel and its affiliated travel agency and the Dutch owner of the other eco-lodge, I have learned how involved this lodge is in the local area - educational programs, social programs. I have been wondering how much of the money a hotel like this brings in filtered down to the townspeople, because the staff is not large and there are only a few tourists like myself to hire drivers. There is no tourist infrastructure in the town - no cafes, not even a place to buy bottled water - but I am guessing that, with the new flight, more of that will happen. I could be selfish and lament the coming changes, because this is the last relatively untouched part of Egypt - but the people here are poor and increased tourism will bring affluence, even as it will corrupt the local mores.

I am comfortably settled in my room, reading, when suddenly I see... a living scarab moving across the floor. A huge, armor plated beetle, a creature that will prevent quiet dreams (OMG. What it gets into the bed????). I know that I should squish it with a shoe but that makes me queasy - my shoes are in a sorry enough state, covered with desert sand and tomb dust. To now have dead beetle on the sole... So I look around for a weapon and settle upon the woven waste paper basket. I bring it down with all my might. And the damn thing keeps moving. Again and again. Pieces of the beetle come off - feet, parts of the shell - but still it moves. Finally, I kill it, leaving the basket where it lays, and return to my seat, with my chest heaving as I gasp for air.

And I was worried about... bedbugs?

Are we there yet?

We left the hotel at 8:30 in the morning; I braced myself for the long drive ahead: six and a half hours in a van is not something to look forward to.

The driver has a friend with him, a young man named, unsurprisingly, Mohamed. For some reason, we take a different road back - I didn't know that there was another option - or that the road we started out on went up to Aswan. I might have gone directly there from Dahkla had I known it was possible. According to the map, that road does not exist, so I didn't think to ask.

There's not much you can do in a van for hours on end, especially when the landscape is mostly barren desert. In some places, it stretches flat, to the horizon, so I spend hours prone, flat on my back, with a large silk chiffon scarf stretched over my head to keep off the fly - there is ALWAYS a fly - which otherwise lands repeatedly on your face and your nose and your lips.

The driver is joined by a friend who accompanies us to Luxor. No room for a stray Hajji now. They rotate through their tapes: Egyptian pop, which I like, the unavoidable Celine Dion, who accompanied me for 19 days in Iran, and then... the mad Imann, as I have come to think of him, starting slow and working himself up to tones that clearly don't auger well for a non-believer.

On the way out, I had asked the driver to turn down the volume on this tape, but now I have a new tactic. I pull out my iPhone and play... gospel music. Loudly. I have enough to last a while. And then, when that runs out, I sample Klezmer, the music of the Eastern European Jews, or I put it on "shuffle" and am treated to a sampling of the Marvellettes, or some such girl group, singing "Mashed Potatoes" and other Golden Oldies. It gets surreal, the juxtaposition, as we speed across the desert.

I loaded my phone with 3GB of music by ordering all the songs I have - 9,000+ - and starting with the smallest file sizes and working up. This gives me many more songs than the 3GB on my netbook, which was a more directed, and more familiar, sample that I took. But, what I did not realize until this trip, the iPhone technique ends up heavy with oldies, which had strict time limits imposed upon them. There is not, for example, the stray Indian raga, which often runs for 20 minutes. So all sorts of strange things, that I own but never listen to, are now one of the soundtracks of this trip. And once again I think how unimaginable this all would have been if you had told me about my life when these songs were hits.

We pull up to my hotel at 3:30. Even though I have done nothing but lie down, I am exhausted. But I am determined to see the Luxor Museum, which opens at 4PM, so I head out and arrive just as it is opening. There is a large tour group in line ahead of me so I make it a point, when we enter the museum, to head somewhere that they are not going, specifically, the well recommended video narrated by Omar Sherif. Then out to the galleries that have simply the most astonishing Pharonic art that I have seen - statues, reliefs, objects from Tuts tomb (a chariot!) weapons and jewelry. Even sandals and baskets that survived the millenia. A friend told me that the Brooklyn Museum was involved with this project, which makes a neat symmetry for me, having beheld my first sarcophagus there so long ago.

This is one of the "new" museums in Egypt, like the Coptic and the one at Saqqua, and they are wonderful, because they are well edited and well lit. The quality of the statues is beyond anything I have seen and there are two mummies on display, in darkened, quiet rooms, respectful of their place in history. One, that lay for over a century in a museum in Niagara Falls, Canada, is of Rames, and the story of his re-discovery and honor filled return is quite interesting. After all, an ancient King is being returned to his land.

When I have finished, I cast a hopeful glance at the gift shop. I would love a reproduction of some of the treasures inside. But I find only the same touristy crap that is everywhere in this country and toy with the idea of going online to the Metropolitan Museum shop to see if they have something more satisfactory.

Bone tired, and hungry, for I have eaten only a hard boiled egg and some flaps of bread, I return to my hotel for dinner and an early night, since my flight to Aswan leaves at 7:30AM.

Nubia
As soon as you step out of the airport, you notice the difference. The taxi drivers vying for your custom are Nubians - tall, thin dark skinned men. It is not that African blood is missing elsewhere it Egypt - you see traces of it in people everywhere - but here, you know that you are moving into a different culture.

Even the hotel, which is a true 5 star, set on an island in the middle of the Nile, speaks of Africa. While the dominant motif on the furniture on railings is of pyramids, inventively styled, the fabrics in my room have African patterns, their colors neutered to make them acceptable to package tourists.

And what a room it is, with two balconies overlooking the Nile - the one where I now sit, writing, that lets me look north, and the one now drenched in sun that faces Aswan full on. It is warm but breezy on my balcony and I have no real desire to move, as I watch the feluccas sail on the river. November is the earliest time in year to come to Aswan - in summer, it can reach 55 degrees C, which is too hot to even contemplate.

There is not that much to see in Aswan - the obligatory pre-dawn flight to Abu Simbel, the Nubian Museum, maybe some tombs, a couple of islands, the tourist souk - so with four days here I will alternate between my balcony and the pool, which is just fine, because yesterday's drive obliterated the day of rest in Dakhla. And from here I go to Cairo, which will be interesting but in no way restful.

The riverside of these Egyptian cities are uniformly known as the cornice, and, in Luxor and Aswan, this is where the cruise ships dock. I can see them from my perch - they are parked four abreast, which means that most people will sleep with generator noise, the smell of diesel fuel and no view of the very river they're on. While some of the boat look nice, others look decidedly funky from the outside. I will get my Nile experience while I'm here, by hiring a felucca for an hour of two. I won't see the village life on the banks of the Nile, but I can't imagine spending a week on one of these ships. I can't imagine that they're fully booked, which must make the experience all the stranger, because they are sizable vessels.

As I take out the various things I've photocopied about Aswan, I find a page about Luxor that I'd missed - and with it, apparently one of the more fabulous complexes on the West Bank, Rames III. It is in my guidebook but one of the downsides of not going on a tour is that sometimes you just screw up. Of course, the downside of going on a tour is that they spend 7 hours on the West Bank, which is just an unimaginable amounf of time for me.

The Corner of McDonald's and Mosque

The best place in Aswan to get a felucca for the obligatory sunset hour on the Nile is at the dock in front of McDonald's, which sits on the riverside like the fashionable cafes. It is a three story, free standing building, with a copious outdoor terrace that gets way too much diesel exhaust from the cruise ships parked nearby. After contemplating them for a while, I have come to think of the cruise ships as trailers in a trailer park, because they are blocky and parked as tightly as cars in a lot.

I got off to an early start, thinking that Pilae island, and the temples on it, seemed to be the most interesting thing in Aswan. Unfortunately, that proved to be the general consensus because I saw dozes of tour buses disgorging passengers. This is the problem with traveling in Egypt - you want to avoid the "mad dogs and Englishmen" mid-day sun, so you go early - and run into the groups. Or you go late - and run into the groups, whose basic itinerary is get off the boat, onto the buses, tour somewhere, then reverse the pattern. Because they are so insulated from the reality that is Egypt, they dress in the most inappropriate manner possible, both for the heat and the culture. Shorts are common and so are tank tops for women, which has the double wammy of revealing parts of the body that should be covered (underarms) and exposing the wearer to way too much sun. So you start to see women with shawls over their heads (because they didn't bring hats) and over their shoulders. While my get-up is distinctly unattractive - frumpy would be a step up - it suits the climate, with my broad brimmed hat and long sleeved shirt.

In any case, Philae is insane, simply packed with tourists, to the point that you need to wait in line to go into some areas of the temple. I try to go into side areas, but this is not large enough for that to provide relief. Actually, it isn't even Philae Island, which was submerged by the dam. It is one of the many temples surveyed and dis-assembled stone by stone and then re-assembled on a neighboring island, after all sorts of advanced engineering to shape the island and prevent it from flooding. Then they re-built everyting. The story of the High Dam and the flooding of Nubia is quite extraordinary., with 20 countries bringing technical expertise to bear to move and re-construct the temples. Because there were more temples than places, museums that were part of the UNESCO effort ended up with extraordinary artifacts, such as the temple of Dender at the Metropolitan Museum.

After barely an hour, I flee - or attempt to. There is a narrow footbridge off to where the boats are parked and the press of people coming and going creates gridlock. Given the general state of security in Egypt, I think "target" and notice that there is another footbridge, to the private boats, like the one I hired, that is completely empty and there stands my pilot.

The Nubian Museum is en-route to town so I stop and learn that the pyramid symbol that decorates the hotel is Nubian, because it is replicated on gates at the museum and surrounding buildings. While the museum is new and well designed, after the Luxor Museum it is hard to meet the same standard. Still, I find the dioramas of Nubian villages perhaps more interesting than the antiquities (childhood at the Brooklyn Museum redux), because the women wear long lace dresses over their regular dresses and their veils are trimmed with about 1 inch of patterned bead-work. There are Nubian villages scattered around Aswan but, having checked them out on line (one of the downsides of You Tube), they didn't look especially interesting - when it is hot, it takes a lot to motivate me.

While there are some more tombs on the West Bank, I am more interested in going to Kalabsha Temple, which the guidebook describes as both the largest temple in Nubia AND completely untouristed. The guidebook also quotes a strangely low sum for a drive out to the dam. I hail a taxi, we negotiate a price - and then he takes me to the Kalabsha Hotel, on the edge of town. I explain to him where I'm trying to go, he has no clue and I tell him to take me back to town, where we disagree over the fare. But 30 pounds is far too high for so short a trip.

I is getting on noon and I am hot and hassled by the incessant "boat?" "where from?" "taxi?" that accompanies any stroll in an Egyptian tourist town so I flee to the balcony of my hotel room and snooze in the breezy shade.

Then, at 3, it is off to the docks to try to negotiate a reasonable felucca fare. I fail completely - for the fare in the guidebook, I am offered a ride in a motor boat, which is simply... wrong. It needs to be a felucca.

Finally, I agree to pay twice the rate for an hour's sail and we head out onto the river, where the boatsman immediately tries to shake me down for an extended trip. If the guidebook is right, it should cost $5 for a one hour trip around Elephanta Island. He is claiming that it takes 90 minutes and wants almost $40. I pass, and we sail around Kirshner's Island, which is chock-a-block with groups for their end of the day boat ride and sunset views. Kirshner's Island is filled with exotic plants and formal gardens and looks both lush and beautiful. It was someone's gift for winning the Sudan, and has been carefully preserved.

As we sail, the pilot plays Nubian music - on his cell phone, which everyone has. They are the square, clunky devices seen in the Indian countryside but they are quite widespread. In any case, the music is wonderful. That means that I"ll go back to the awful tourist souk and buy a couple of CDs. To date, this has been the best souvenier. I've already acquired 3 Egyptian CDs: oud, drums and belly dance.

When we come around the end of Kirchner's Island, we are somewhat becalmed so the boatsman needs to tack from side to side across the channel, to find wind. It takes a long time to go a short distance when you're zigging and zagging. Since there is only one boatsman, when he needs to adjust the sail or various other things, he hands the tiller to me - certainly a way to build muscles.

When we return to the dock, I adjourn to McDonalds, where I notice that the female staff wear red headscarves to match their red and yellow uniforms. In Luxor, I did not see any women working but here, and in Cairo, I do. In fact, there are female wait staff at the hotel, which only makes sense since it is Swiss.

Even when I leave McDonald's to return to my hotel, it is in my mind, because the boat dock for my hotel is at a corned with a minaret - and a McDonald's sign.

This will be an early night because I have a 5:55 AM flight to Abu Simbel in the morning. The taxi will be waiting for me at 4:45AM, which is an unimaginable time for me to be anywhere, let alone flying somewhere, with a planeload of tourists, to see some statues and then, at 9:25, to fly back to Aswan. I booked an overpriced taxi through the hotel because I doubt that there are many roaming the streets at that hour.

I am not looking forward to trying to go to sleep at - let me figure this out - 9PM. Ick.

Because It's There

The alarm went off at 4AM, which is an hour I much prefer when approached from the other side (having stayed up all night), but I have a car, and two flights, waiting, so it is hi ho, hi ho, it is off to Abu Simbel I go - knowing, full well, that I am spending all this energy, time and money to see something that will take, oh, 45 minutes, tops.

Now there are all these nauseating books with titles like "Everything I Need To Know In Life I Learned In Kindergarten" or some such. My book would be called "Everything I Need To Know I Learned Working At An Alternative School For Acting Out Adolescents", which is pretty much the philosophy behind Abu Simbel. Rames, the original "Big Man" erected the original "I'm the biggest, I'm the baddest, and this is MY country" scare crows in the ancient world, warning everyone coming down the NIle in the old days.

Of course, given who Rames (I , II and III) is, how on earth did he end up being the name of a brand of... condoms (oh, Google, where is WiFi when I need it? I so want to check this).

In any case, the flight is 45 minutes long, a mere aerial hop, going down right after we went up - and seeing, through the windows, that we're going to miss sunrise. Egypt doesn't have Daylight Savings Time, so sunrise and sunset come early at this time of the year. Which JUST ISN"T FAIR. Why get up at this insane hour to fly somewhere that sunrise is a BIG DEAL and... miss it? If I feel this way, how do the people who flew up from Cairo feel? THEY got up at, oh, 1:30 AM.

We land and take the shuttle bus 5 minutes to the site. Coming at us out of the parking lot are tour buses. Not a stream of tour buses but a veritable river. And, like Lake Nasser behind it, a stream that will never go dry because there is a lake of tour buses in the lot, and more arrive constantly. Which makes me wonder: what time did these people get up if they drove from Aswan, saw the site and now are leaving - at 7AM.

This is the most expensive site I have been to - a $15 entry fee. $10 is more common at the major sites. Egypt is not an expensive country but sightseeing puts a real dent in your wallet.

The site looks exactly the way I expect the site to look - the problem of sightseeing in an age of photographs and Web sites. The most interesting thing here, as it was at Luxor Temple, is the 19th century graffiti. Abu Simbel was hidden in the sands for millenia and re-discovered in 1810. The Europeans who came to visit did not have guards at the site preventing them from taking photos inside (there were, after all, no cameras. Or guards.) So these folk climbed up and carved their name and the date here there and everywhere - on Rames beard, for example. However, for all the damage these early tourists did, I am sure that the mass of tourists streaming in and out and inevitably touching the walls will create far more damage.

After 45 minutes, I'm more than done - there are only two temples to see, Rames and Nefertiti and, by this point, I've seen more hieroglyphics and cartouches and carvings of Harthor and Isis and Orisis than I ever imagined existed, so I wander out to the parking lot to look for the shuttle bus and sit in the shade, watching tour buses arrive and depart. Soon, other people from my flight join me - they, too, are taking the 9:40 AM back - but they are having a certain problem... going with the flow. They are absolutely programmed to be at an airport 1 hour before a domestic flight, even though this is not, oh, Heathrow or Frankfurt and has only two gates. And then two German couples arrive, who are beside themselves with needing to find the bus. We talk and I tell them that the plane is not going take off without its passengers and that this shuttle happens day after day after day - but they cannot rest. Soon their anxiety has the whole group up, out of the shade, standing in the parking lot and... waiting. Finally, they talk people with a private minivan going... somewhere... to drop them at the airport and they invite me along. We pull out of the airport and see the shuttle bus on its way in, as expected.

Atypically, they take screening seriously at the airport and actually scan you when the metal detector goes off. This creates problems for one of the German women, who has a knee replacement, which she tries to explain as the wand buzzes madly over her knee. And I get an idea for a new travel product for aging Boomers - take the Point It! and Kwikpoint idea and create one that shows where you have metal implanted in your body: knees, hips, chest staples... I'd need to do some serious research, and figure out the illustrations but I'm sure that this would make life so much easier for a growing number of travelers. Hmm...

As I sit in a stupor on the flight back to Aswan, I wonder why I went to Abu Simbel and ultimately the only answer is... because. Because I'm in Egypt and how does one go to Egypt and not go to Abu? Because it is a remarkable feat of conservation and reconstruction. And because... it is there.

I land in Aswan at 10:25 and my sole priority is... food. I had a protein bar for breakfast, passed up the ham and cheese sandwiches for sale in Abu Simbel (ham? In a Muslim country?) and I am now ready for what, body time, would be a late lunch. I have the driver drop me at McDonalds. What, you say, again? Well, let me plead my case.

Egypt, like many traditional countries, does not have a restaurant culture. Meals taken at home. Period. Maybe the men adjourn to a cafe for tea, coffee and a water pipe, but that's about it. Which means that restaurants are designed solely for tourists, translating into repetitive menus, too much food, too many things on the menu that a traveler won't risk it they value their stomach and too many meals of lamb kebabs, chicken and rice or bad spagetti or pizza. Maybe. So a friend chicken sandwhich or a McArabia (kofta or chicken) is not a bad option - it is clean,simple and manageable. I discuss this with a Canadian couple, who share my prejudice - none of us ever eat fast food at home, but here, we're driven to it. In fact, we're dying for a really good salad but that is a death sentence. This couple thinks me incredibly brave to be traveling on my own and I find it incredibly odd that they don't know the name of the hotel they're moving to tonight, from the boat. To each his prejudices.

Even though it is an incredibly beautiful day - cooler with a wonderful breeze - and thus a perfect day for sightseeing, I feel like I have jet lag so I go back to my room and attempt unsuccessfully to nap. At 2 PM, I wander back out and take a boat over to Kirschner's Island, the garden island next to the one my hotel is on. I figure that I will have an hour to see it before all the boats pull in for sunset and I do. It is much more beautiful than I imagined, with multicolor flowers and bushes. Even more, it is perfectly maintained - a rarity in Egypt.

While Aswan, the town, has nothing to recommend it, the more time I spend on the river, the more wonderful it becomes. There are islands to see, all of which much, unfortunately, be reached by private boat. This means you need to negotiate with the boat men, who, when they have you on their boat, immediately try to upsell you or to find ways to cut short your trip. No matter what the guidebook says, there seems to be no way to get a one hour ride for $5. I don't like the boat men, who are street wise and cynical hustlers for all sorts of good reasons - poverty, insane competition - but even so, it doesn't make you want to spend more time on the water. For the intrepid who take three or four day sails between Luxor and Aswan (toilets not included), the guidebook helpfully notes that, while there are honest sailors, there are also many perverts and thieves amongst the crews. Some things are constants in the world.

As I look more closely at the people, I notice that it is more modern than Luxor, with young woman wearing colorful headscarves and bright clothing, not as tight and with the peek-a-boo coverage seen in Cairo . And prayer callouses have re-appeared on men's foreheads. In my room, a discrete paper disk under the glass on my desk indicates the direction of Mecca, for daily prayers.

After dinner at 4PM out by the pool, I retreat to the balcony outside my room and then, because it becomes too cool after sunset, to my room, where I write this while watching BBC and CNN news. Interspersed in reporint on the on-going carnage in Pakistan are advertisements for vacation spots I've somehow overlooked. Wonderful Romania. Be treated like a start on Turkish Airlines. Visit Baku, Azerbajain in 2010, Islamic Year. Discover wonderful Pozen, Poland. And a brief snippet on Iraqi tourism visiting some fair to begin the process of marketing its "cradle of civilization" sites, pointing at Croatia as a model of what is possible to achieve. IMy plan for Coptic Christmas in Ethopia in 2011 seems positively mainstream.

I had planned to sleep with the doors open but Egypt's legendary (non-malarial) mosquitos soon found their way inside. With the doors closed, the room was stuffy, so I turned on the A/C, to its warmest temperature and, as always, proceeded to freeze any portion of exposed skin .

Kalabsha Temples

There are tombs of a bunch of folks on the Western side of the river, but I've reached the "no more tombs" phase of this trip so I/m off to Kalabsha Temples, the largest freestanding Nubian Temples. Since it is beyond the High Dam, it was relocated to its current spot by German engineers in 1970. And, the best thing, it isn't on the tour group itinerary.

The site is wonderful, sitting on a rocky promontory romatically overlooking Lake Nasser. There is one main temple, and several other tiny chapels and ruins. While I have seen better carving and better painting, there is something very special about being alone at a site so you can feel its mystery. We found this in Siem Reap, home to the famed Angkor Wat temple - and thousands of Korean tour groups. While the famous temples overwhelmed us, there were small places we went to where the magic of the forest setting and the ruins made them very special. Such is the case with Kalabasha, especially on a cool, windy, slighty overcast morning.

In addition to the temples, and the usual grafitti, there are the stones laid hither and yon, pieces of the world's greatest jig saw puzzle, awaiting their mates, which might have been re-used as building materials or which might still be buried somewhere nearby. The caved stones that line this path are interesting because they are much more primative than the rest, but there is no explanation for this in the guidebook.

Since I have driven along the road south of town a number of times already, I speculated that the customers of the enormous papyrus and alabaster shops that line one portion of the road would be tour buses, and today I see that this is true. There are clusters of them in front of several shops, a veritable boat load of innocents being fleeced by their guides who receive up to 50% commission from the shop owners. This is one of the oldest and most prevalent cons in tourism and I can only imagine how much these people are paying for the usual tourist crap - much of it made in India or China. The shops are filled with the cheapest quality Indian shawls and handbags and I would not be surprised if the tee shirts are made in China. I'm guessing that the Pharonic towels, all of which have Egypt printed in large type, and some of which mis-spell Tut, are probably Egyptian.

As I travel around Egypt, I am struck by the almost absolute lack of craftsmanship, as opposed to, to coin a word, souveniermanship. There is no craft, and there is no design. It makes no sense, in a country whose visual heritage is so rich, that everything for sale is of a quality below that found in Times Square. Yet the cottons in my hotel are beautiful interpretations of Nubian designs, and the wall paper at McDonald's is an abstraction of hieroglypics. Admittedly, both were created for foreign, multi-national companies able to pay for talent and to commission modern takes on ancient designs. But surely someone, somewhere in Egypt could develop interesting, higher quality things to sell. I am sure that understanding the reasons that have prevented this from happening would make an interesting, and depressing, study.

The touts have latched on to the word "hassle" and so their patter is "Come into my shop. No hassle" as they continually hassle each passerby. They quote absurdly low prices that are forgotten as soon as someone expresses an interest. On the Corniche, the combination of felucca touts, horse car touts, bottled water touts is just endless. Since there is nothing to see in town and no interesting cafes, I spend my free time on my island, at the hotel, watching the boats on the river and listening to the call to prayer echoing, slightly out of phase, from mosques across the city.

As I prepare myself for four days in Cairo, with the noise and dust and press of cars and people. And with only my cheap hotel room to retreat to when the street overwhelms.

But not quite.

Egypt is playing Algeria tonight for some stage leading up to the World Cup, which I know because the American Consulate in Egypt sent out a warning to avoid Nasser City in Cairo, the site of the game (Since Mumbai, I've starting registering with consulates when I travel. One never knows.).

As I try to go to sleep around 11PM, in anticipation of an early flight, I hear Aswan erupt, with sirens and horns and chants and cheers that go on and on and on for at least an hour. Now realize that my hotel is on an island in the middle of the Nile and I am hearing this. The Nile is not that wide, but, still. Egypt is not unique in this - years ago, I was in Rome when they won an important match and it was much the same.

Cairo

I am back at my cheap hotel, but, having just, by pure chance, read The Man In The Sharkskin Suit, a true story of an Egyptian Jewish family and their eventual flight from Cairo, the streets have new meaning. The synagogue across the street from my hotel is where the author's parents were married. The long-past-its-splendor cafe, Goppi's, is right down the street from my hotel, a street mentioned by name. So I see layers of a life and of a time that is quiet recent. I also see the story of friends of mine: my Syrian Jewish friend in college and the odd ways of that community, my friend now who is the son of Levantine Jews. This is the story of al of their lives, of wealth and privledge and then of emigration and chaos and poverty - and success.

I have errands to run that will take me to the wealthy areas of Cairo, which means that the taxi drivers will be utterly and completely lost, because these areas are outside of the center. I approach one taxi, who quotes a high price and is unwilling to bargain. Then another - a white taxi with black stripes - and, when I ask how much, the driver points to his meter which, like the car, is new (the black and whites are old and battered; there are also white taxis, but I don't know if they all have meters). So off we go, to find a shop in Ma'adi and oh, what an expedition it is. We go hiter and yon, with him getting out, asking directions, driving some more, asking more directions - while the meter ticks at clearly the correct rate. Finally, we find the shop, which has lovely things - and I tell him that we now go to Dokki, across the Nile - but this time, I have a map from the shop, which I had been to before.

Dokki, too, requires shouted questions but we find the shop without too much trouble (everything is relative) and I go in to pick up a length of beautiful Egyptian cloth that they had hemmed for me. I decide to buy another, in different colors, because it is cheap and very sensual. I don't know what I will do with either of them other than having them join the small stash of textiles at the top of my closet bought in various countries to be used some day. Maybe.

And then to Zamaluk, the large island in the Nile, to find the shop that sells Egyptian cotton sheets, which I have been to before and know just how hard the street is to find. But, by this point, the driver and I are a team - he knows that I am insane, and I know that he is patient and hard working, as well as honest. He speaks just enough English - and I have all the addresses written in Arabic.

It is 5 PM and I have been on the go since 7:30 AM, so I dismiss the driver and tip him well. The total cost of his services for 4 1/2 hours is $20 - with tip. I ask him if he wants to meet me at 9AM tomorrow and, when he agrees, give him my mobile number. Not only is this insanely cheap, but it is truly ?no hassle: - no bargaining with every time I flag a taxi.

The primary reason that finding things in Cairo is an endless series of stop and asks is that there are no adequate maps - in any language - and certainly no bi-lingual maps. I have bought the best English map that I could find - it is huge - but it still leaves out many streets. Since I have an Egyptian SIM card, and local calls are very cheap, if we're really lost and if the phone number I have is correct, I call and hand the phone to the driver, so he can ask for directions from the shop. This is the only time that I have GIVEN a cell phone to a taxi driver.

My Footprint guidebook, which is my preferred series, does not have place names in Arabic, which is a real problem. It means that every night I make a list of places I want to go on an old spiral reporters notebook and, in the morning, I have someone translate it into Arabic. Pretty much, if it isn't on the list, I'm not going there. I have even had them translate the hotel address into Arabic because their card is in English - as are the cards for several of the high end shops I'm going to. I ask them to write their address, too, in Arabic. This is all very strange and I think about creating an iPhone app like the one someone did for the Beijing Olympics, which has all sorts of places and turns into taxi cards. It wouldn't even need to be that elaborate - it could simply be a list of names of all the hotels and sites and addresses of interest to a tourist in a city. If I really wanted to be helpful, I'd add a photo of the building, at least for landmarks, since that makes finding them so much easier. Although I'm not sure that you could tell one mosque from another that easily. Or one Buddhist Wat either.

Islamic Cairo

Islamic Cairo is vast, dense and confusing. There are so many mosques and madrassas and mausoleums that even the most tireless traveler, which I am not, needs to be selective. Since I saw a few places immediately south of the Khan when I was first in Cairo, I decided to focus on the area around the Citadel today.

The Citadel has many places to see, but only two that are of interest - one mosque for the view (I don't bother to go in) and another which iw exceptionally beautiful (If I ever edit this, I'll add the name). While tourists are expected to take off their shoes, women are not required to cover their heades. This is interesting. You see some women on the street whose heads are not covered - they might be Christian or liberal Muslims. So, on one level, why should a Christian need to cover their head in a tourist mosque - but on another, why shouldn't they? In any case, I cover mine and spend some time doing one of the things I love most - looking at and photographing old Islamic architecture.

From the Citadel, we go to another pair of mosques - or maybe mausoleums - it all blurs. I go into only one, the much older of the two. Here, too, women do not need to cover their heads but they need to be modestly dressed, because one woman is wearing a green (the color of the Prophet) satin robe. I think I had a dream about this once, long ago. It,too, is exquisite and the 19th century mosque next door fits in remarkably wellv- looking at the minarets, I would never have guessed that it is so new.
I don't go in for two reasons - shoes off, scarf on gets tiring, I'm trying to avoid burn out - and all of these admissin fees add up - fast. The Citadel was 50 pounds ($10), this mosque is $5 and so it goes all day. The stash of pounds I've been carrying around is fast diminishing - and I'm not really shopping or paying for much, other than the odd McChicken sandwhich, with cash. I've probably spent a couple of hundred dollars on admission fees.

Then to a Sufi dervish temple, being restored by an Italian Egyptian team and described as a respite from the streets. I must be missing the respite part, because there is only a mournful garden.

Even though these are historical monuments, they are hard to find - and would be incredibly difficult for someone who doesn't speak Arabic. And then there's the geography of Islamic Cairo - tiny, narrow streets, with cars and donkey carts and horse carts. And, everywhere, the Egyptican favorite - driving backwards, often for a considerable distance. This is the only city where you manage to make it across homocidal streets, thinking you're safe - and discover that the car next to you is backing up where you're standing at surprisingly high speed. Traffic in Cairo is dense and aggressive - cars seem to speed up when they see you, seeming to come as close as possible to you, while you frantically try to cross the street.

Overall, whether you are in a car with a driver or walking, Cairo is simply exhausting. There is no respite. This is true of other cities, where the only comfortable place is a five star hotel, but Cairo makes even Bombay and Bangkok seem laid back.

Exhausted by 3 PM, I have the driver drop me - today's cost, with tip, was $18. I collapse in my room, which is odd since I've been in a car all day.

And now the big question -- I don'd know whether I can stand any more mosques, I've seen all the tony parts of town and most of the fancy shops - so what on earth do for the next two days? I could spend them hanging out at a five start hotel, which is both comfortable and souless, but I need to come up with something, for I am reluctant to let the driver go. I don't know whether I'm up for the City of the Dead - and certainly not alone, from what I've read. And this only means more mausoleums.

As I search on-line for options, A shop at the Four Seasons Hotel is mentioned. In addition to the usual luxurey brands, it apparently sells thousands of scarfs. Now this is interesting, and not only because I have a minor scarf obsession. Rather, head scarves are such an integral part of an Egyptian woman's wardrobe that it would be interesting to see what is for sale.

While we in the West think of Islamic headscarves as black, or maybe white, wraps, the reality here is very different, even for middle aged women. Deprved of the abiiy to color and still their hair in publicm, they express themselves with scarves, which, if they are young, match the bright colors of their clothing and, if they are older, have more subdued patterns. The young modern women often wear two, in different colors so their heads are wrapped in large, colorful habadashery, so different from the severe whipple or tight headscarf. And great care is taken to match their wardrobe. All of which proves that there are ways to get around even the strictest rules. And many of these women wear make-up, so the overall effect is quite colorful and attractive. Except, of course, for the black phantoms who float throught the street, with everything but their eyes covered in black.

The streets in Cairo is frantically busy even at 9:30 PM. Yound men. Families with very yound children. Shopping, walking on the main streets, buying icecream from the fabulously busy pastry shop nearby which, like many Middle Eastern bakery shops, sell pastries identical to those I ate as a child. The shop also sells ice cream and there is a crowd because the night is warm. I long for some but intestinal prudance rules.

Unlike this pastry shop, which clearly sells high quality goods, breadships selling brown pita bread, breadsticks and other staples are everywhere in the city, laid out on the sidewalk, uncovered and unprotected from the auto fumes, dust and pollution, the constants of life in Cairo and every major city in the developing world.

I retire to my room and design tomorrow's schedule. I have an errand to run that will take me back to Dokki - I hope the driver remembers the way - then some shops to check in Zamalek, then to the famous Khan market, which mostly sells the same tourist crap as everywhere in Egypt. I had walked through it once, before it had really opened, and it really deserves a second look. Plus I might like to buy some Egyptian inlay - allegedly mother of pearl but really plastic. Still, it looks nice (today I found a real wood carving shope but the prices were extraordinary and there was really nothing I need.

Off for the nightly charging of the electronics, which I must rotate because I brought only my dual plug/dual voltage surge protector.. Travel where you will - you are still a slave to your gadegets.

As I write this, I have Grade D Arabic movies playing on TV - my choice has narrowed to American Evangelicals in English or this. I could simply open iTunes and play music but Arabic TV is so much more entertaining.

For example.

No matter how the men in the family are dressed, normally the woman will have her headscarf on - in the house. Now, everyone knows that this is absurd - all the shapeless dresses and headscarves are for the public realm. In private, if shop windows are any indication, women wear lacy underwear in all sorts of colors and tight, sexy clothing. I know that the upper classes often dress very elegantly under their coverings but I lower and middle class Egyptian women run... cushiony... so it is a bit frightening to imagine them in these outfits. In any case, whether in Egypt or years ago in Iran, people find this strange compromise non-sensical, but it the norm on TV shows and commercials alike.

For some reason, in these movies, where everyone looks like they're wearing 1970's attire but has cell phones, few if any of the women are wearing headscarves. I'm not quite sure what is going on culturally with these, which seem to be .... lightly scripted. For example, a bunch of 20 somethings is running around a clearly low budget set screaming, pounding on doors, holding curved knives and finding a lot of bloody dead people. I have no idea, but the high pitched screams are entertaining. Obviously, I'm not well plugged into the Cairo nightlife.

Another 1970s touch that you see in a fair number of taxis is really, really gross, icky fake fur - in, say, a greyish color. It covers the dash board, the seats. Even when this stuff is brand new you don't want to go near it - and it hasn't been new in quite some time.

Cairo - Day 7

I have been in Cario for FAR too long. It isn't that there aren't still things to see - there are - but this is such a difficult city to navigate, on foot or by car - that I have lost interest in exploring the city.

Crossing the street is a competitive sport. Here and there are traffic lights, or traffic police, which seem to be obeyed, but then there are the cars that speed up when they see you crossing, either aiming for you, trying to get as close to you as possible or simply ignoring you. Then, because the street you're trying to cross is clear since the intersection is grid locked, you think you're safe as you get to the other side - only to realize that you're in the path of a car that is backing up RAPIDLY from a half block away.

Now, New Yorkers have been known to drive in reverse for a little bit, but they have nothing on the Egyptians, who do it with considerable frequency, in all sorts of places,and for considerable distances. My otherwise sabe driver thinks nothing of trying to back up down a narrow street with cars coming at him. Avoiding traffic is the impetus for this, and that is a perfectly valid reason for almost anything.

Moving right along, it appears that headlights are optional, because, oh, 5% of the cars have theirs off, or are driving with only faint parking lights. So... you're trying to cross an insanely busy street. You think you see a break in the cars, you start to move - and then you pull back as you see the motorcycle (with 4 people on it), the van, the car, whatever, barreling down the street with its lights off.

And when you get on the streets, at least downtown, where my hotel is located, they are narrow, thronged with people and, at night, stores set up stands in the street. Mothers out for the evening stroll slowly together, with children filling in the scant available space. Then wooden pushcarts come out here and there, with clothing for sale.

The streets themselves are in what would generally be considered to be a ... poor... state of repair. Ghastly probably comes closer. There are concrete tiles sticking up hither and yon, the odd bit of sand, and the curbs with short, nasty metal bits sticking up to keep cars from drivng up over them. As if they could, because the curbs are often 18" high. But those low barriers are really something to pay attention to because they could cause a nasty fall into a rapidly turning car.

So you take a taxi, and leave the aggrivation to the driver. Except the traffic is so bad that you can't just sit back and close your eyes. There are no lanes, the exhaust fumes and cigarette smoke and dust is extreme (I am routinely wearing a carbon filter mask. I no longer care what anyone thinks - the air is just too awful. I figure that if the Chinese and Japanese can walk around anywhere on earth with gauze masks on when they have the sniffles, why can't I wear a nifty, flesh colored job that makes me look like something out of a Pharonic carving? In spite of this, I am getting that old "I've got something wrong with my bronchial tubes" feeling so I've just started another course of antibiotics. While the TV is filled with ads for soap to prevent H1N1 and the country is in a reasonable state of panic about it, my problem is bacterial, beause the city is just so dirty.)

When I say "Cairo is dirty" I don't mean piles of litter or trash - the streets are swept. The problem is that it never, ever rains in Cairo and it is surrounded by huge expanses of desert. The buildings are covered with decades of brown dusty dirty and, after a day of wandering, so are you. Now, I don't normally wear white shirts, so I can't compare how quickly they get dirty in New York with the deal here but I doubt that I it is even close. I wear a white shirt, to block the sun and keep me cool and, by 4 in the afternoon, it is incredibly dirty. And so are my hands. I have alcohol cleanser with me but when I wash my hands, which I do as often as possible, they are always dirty in a way they never are in New York.

The more you think about it, the more you realize that there is no solution, absent climate change that makes Egypt wetter, which is unlikely. How do you clean an enormous city when there is never any rain? I don't mean the streets - I mean the buildings. Think of what Manhattan would look like if it had spent a couple of hundred years in the Hamptons.

I am sure that no one in a huge, sprawling, poor city like Cairo thinks about anything as absurd as cleaning any of its buildings, let alone all of them. And that just isn't how things work here. It is more like the way things work in even the weathiest parts of Indian cities. You own your half of a floor, or whatever, and are free to do with it what you like. Your neighbor is equally free to do something entirely different with their flat - not only inside, but when enclosing the terrace. Or deciding where to dry their laundry (guess) - so many buildings resemble patchwork quilts. The old, grand ones downtown have uniform exteriors, which are often quite imposing, but they were constructed when Egypt was a colony so European mores held sway.

So here I am, trying to figure out what to do until my flight leaves at some obscene hour on Thursday morning. I can't hang around my $25 / night hotel, for fairly obvious reasons. There are no cafes anywhere near my hotel. And I have this lovely driver showing up every morning at 9, so I have to figure out where to go. I know that I could dismiss him, but having a driver at my disposal in Cario is just too much of an inexpensive luxery to give up.

I have made out my itinerary, but there is no one at the hotel desk who knows enough English to translate the addesses, so I plan on imposing on the staff at my first stop, which is way out in Dokki to advance the shower curtain project to its next step. We get out there without any problem and wait for the shop to open officially at 10. It is open, but not officially, so I need to wait for whoever is going to arrange the tailoring to come in. When she does, she calls the owner, who isn't in today, and we discover that we have.... mis-communicated. She thought I was bringing in fabric I had bought there while I was trying to be very clear that it wasn't that fabric. In any case, they promise to try, but don't know what the tailor's schedule looks like - and I need it by tomorrow, preferably not at the end of the day, because I need to quit early and finish packing and try to nap before my flight.

Then we're off to the Tentmaker's Bazaar in Islamic Cairo, which is the last covered bazaar and has more interesting wares than the kitsch in the Khan. The traffic is horrible and then gets worse as we drive towards the main north/south axis of the souk. I'm not really expecting to buy anything, even though the work, which is all applique, can be very good and affordable.

There are perhaps three dozen shops, stalls, really, and I spend time looking at what each sells. The overall designs are the same, mostly a kind of Islamic floral design in all sizes, colors and levels of complexity. There are a few Pharonic pieces, and more Islamic calligraphy pieces. Here and there are embroidered patchwork pictures of people in the countryside, some of which are very, very good.

I love calligraphy. Japanese (Chinese, not so much) and the highly stylized Islamic script. The last time I was in Istanbul we were at a major tile works and I briefly considered buying the most becauiful mural. At first, all the calligraphy looks alike but, upon closer inspection, you see which workmen (and they are all men) are talented and which merely know the craft. I find one shop where the work is very, very good and, so surprisingly inexpensive (especially compared to the absurd prices I was quoted in Coptic Cairo), that I buy three pieces. Soon the Ganeshes in my office will be joined by Sufi and Kulfic pieces. I think the Lao skirt will be rotated out.

I want to go to a major mosque mausoleum complex towards the north of Islamic Cairo but the traffic is so dreadful that I tell my driver to head to a mosque at the far south, which is a bit out of the madness and closer to my hotel. It is getting on 3PM and I am tired. He goes somewhere - other than being in horrible traffic in Islamic Cairo, I haven't a clue - and eventually, he points out that we're at the Northern Walls, which we drive pass, I snap a few photos out of the window, and we're done.

He has my notebook, with my list of places to see in English and Arabic. While waiting for me, he obviously goes through to figure out where the next place will be and he had seen this. Since the call to prayer had sounded, which makes mosques off limits to tourists, I'm assuming he decided to head to the walls. Or maybe he did it for some other reason - we don't have a language in common to discuss this. But it is one more site crossed off my list and eventually we end up back at my hotel, with plans to meet in the morning.

Now, I'm exhausted after a few days of this - and he deals with this traffic and craziness every day, because he is, after all, a taxi driver. The Amerian cousin of a friend who I had dinner with was surprised by how little I'm paying him - and I'm overtipping him wildly. She was hoping that I wasn't being taken too badly but now realizes that I have a better deal than she has ever heard of in her three years in Cairo. She lives and works in one of the affluent edges of the city, but, overall, I can't imagine how ANYONE can deal with Cairo on an on-going basis. It is simply too exhausing.

I have to figure out where to go tomorrow. I don't have the endurance for Islamic Cairo and there's not enough to see elsewhere. Some major museums are under renovations - in fact, I don't know whether the mosque complex has re-opened - and I also don't know that I'm motivated enough to attempt an exemplary mausoleam in the City of the Dead, a cemetary on the eastern side of the city that is home to many tombs - and 1/2 million people, who need housing and so have turned the cemetary into a slum village, complete with stores and schools. So I'm contemplating a small museum of Islamic ceramics in one of the upscale parts of town - see what I mean about being absolutely desparate for something relaxing to do? Maybe I'll have lunch at the Marriott, even though there is something insane about keeping a driver waiting for 60 minutes while I eat. But, at $18/day, maybe not insane.

I also learned that the synagogue across the street from my hotel, which they won't let you photograph, is actually open - but at 10 and my driver comes at 9, so where will we spend the hour until it opens. See what I mean? Complicated.

Knowing what I know now, I would tell people 10 days, 2 weeks, tops, for Egypt. I realized after I booked (which China blew up, for the second time), that I was going to have 4 or 5 days too many in Egypt but I didn't realize just how relentless this city is.

Whatever.

My Last Day With The Old Queen

After Googling madly, I decided to see whether two major Cairo sites had re-opened from restoration - the Islamic Museum, which apparently has been one disaster after another and may never reopen, and the Qalawun mosque and mausoleum complex, which is supposed to be spectacular and almost finished. Neither is open but my driver, who has grown very comfortable with my sightseeing list, points out that we're right by the Beit Al Suhaymi mansion, which has has been restored. It is enormous and magnificent. There is a floorplan, which focuses on when each section was added and not what is where, let alone how to get to the various floors and courtyards and what purpose they served. So I wander around, through doorways, up stairways and back down, discovering an Arabian Nights bedroom whose ceiling has shaped insets of colored glass, as does its bathroom and off, in another direction, is the privy. There are formal reception rooms with magnificent inlaid marble fountains, wooden screens so the ladies can watch without being seen - and a gaggle of young art students, looking for something to draw today (this is the area they were in when I first came to Cairo). Some of them focus solely on the geometric designs in the doors, sitting with rulers and measuring instruments in addition to their sketch pads.

I spend a long time and know that I have missed any number of rooms, but seeing each and every one isn't that important - especially since most are bare of furniture and rugs.

I decide not to go to the Khan - I walked through it when I first arrived, know just how tacky Egyptian trinkets are and am done with shopping, so off we go to Dokki, to collect the almost done shower curtain. I decide not to inspect it to ensure that it is right - I will do that in New York - because what exactly would I do if it is not? One very expensive, and irreplacable sheet rendered useless. I have now been in this shop four times and continue to be amazed at their prices - very high quality clothing made from wonderful Indian and other imported fabrics but, still close to New York.

Lunch outdoors at the Mariott on Zamaluk - horrible service, absurd prices but a nice place to kill an hour. Then back to my hotel and across the street to see the synagogue, which, to my surprise, is open daily until 3PM. This is unexpected because you can't stand in front of it, you can't take a photo of the exterior - but you can go inside, without a security check. You need only leave your passport with the policeman in the guardhouse.

The synagogue is beautiful - Art Neauveu - an obviously wealthy congregation built it. I am surprised that the curtain covering the Torah's is green embrI oidered velvet, because green is the color of The Prophet, of Islam - I guess that, in those pre-extremist days, green had less symboilism and, perhaps, was a sign of how assimilated into Egyptian colonial society the affluent Jews of Cairo were. While it is beautiful, I find it extremely sad - there are perhaps 80 Jews left in Cairo. It is the same at all of these grand, abandoned synagogues - America, Canada, Australia, England and Egypt have swept up the bulk of the world's Jews, with small communities in Western Europe. But left behind, in memory of the vibrant and varied cities that spawned them, are these synagogues, standing empty and unused.

The guy at the desk suggests that I have the taxi pick me up 3 1/2 hours before my flight, because who knows what the traffic will be to the airport - at 1AM. Normally, I would have insisted on 1:30 for a 4:30 AM flight, but tonight is the Sundan / Egypt soccor match and Cairo already is insane. Egyptian flags are everywhere - flown from buildings, hung out of cars, afixed to taxis. Young men drive around waving them. And everywhere, people blow their horns in a DA DA DA DA DA rhythm, which only increases as the day wears on. By game time, at 7:30, the country will be in a fever pitch. If Egypt wins, the city will go wild. If it loses, I'll be at the airport very, very early. But there's no convenient nap time for a flight at that hour and, with Lufthansa's check in policy - only within 23 hours of your last flight boarding - I'll check in at the airport, especially since I have a small bag to check. I am carrying on the few things I've bought, as is my practice, and checking s nylon bag filled with dirty clothes, maps and other odds and ends.

Then, to tempt the gods, I placed a Fresh Direct order, for delivery Friday morning - a girl's gotta eat. My contractor said that all but two things are done - the fault of the fixture's shop, which didn't deliver one and delivered the other broken. Now to hope for safe and timely flights and to sleep, perchance to dream, on-board.

But I do need to eat dinner, so I venture into the unbelievably quiet streets of Cairo. There are no cars. There are no people. EVERYONE is watching the soccer match. You walk down the street and see groups of men clustered around a TV in an alley, screaming when a shot is missed. I decide upon McDonald's, because I want a couple of things to take with me on the flight, since I'm not sure exactly what meal I will be served between now and when I land. I kind of doubt breakfast at 4:30 AM. Maybe a snack before we land in Frankfurt at 7:30 AM, but probably not anything that constitutes a meal. Then I leave for NY at 10:30 AM, so I have two protein bars, the food of travelers everywhere these days, and now two fried chicken sandwiches.

In McDonald's, they have propped a TV on top of the trash bin and everyone, including the manager, is sitting around watching. The only customers are three young gay Egyptian men. Egypt was tolerant of homosexuality for hundreds of years, a period that ended within the last couple of decades as Islamicism swept the region. It is such a change for this country, which hosts the largest film and TV industry in the Arab world and is thus the source of all those horrible movies I've been watching.

Back at the hotel, the guys who work here are glued to the TV. When I ask them who is winning, they say "Algeria" - unlikely, because they're playing the Sudan. They beat Alegeria last week.

Now, when I think of the Sudan, I think "Africa" and when I think "Africa" I think "dark skin." But if Sudan is the team in the white uniforms, which I am pretty sure they are, because the other team is wearing black and red, two of the colors in the Egyptian flag, then why are there tall, light skinned players? I know the answer to that: hired guns - but of all the depressing fates in life, being a pro athlete for the Sudan is pretty sad. I mean, do you actually need to live there, at least some of the time? Before things got bad in the Sudan - and they are very bad - the Lonely Planet guidebook described it something along the lines of "there's famine in the south, war in the east..." and that was before things went awry.

I decide to watch the game in my room - I need to do something between now (9PM) and my 1 AM taxi, and reading means that I'm draining the battery on one of my eReaders, a problem if I can't sleep. So I flip through the channels - the evangelicals are at it, as always - and cannot find the game. I can't find much of anything, actually, because there seem to be only two or three channels. I have lost the Egyptian movie channel which was particularly inane tonight - during one of the dance scenes there is a modestly attractive blond who simply can't move, who they keep cutting back to - and am not settled in to watch a French film subtitled in Russian. Now that's a combination I've never considered before. Unlike the Arabs, the French are brooding and depressive, which is exactly what I expect them to be. But now a news show is on, so I am testing my horrible college French by trying to get a grip on what they're talking about - the grippe, in fact. There is some H1N1 vaccination disaster - now that sounds familiar - and then we cut to the Irish soccer team, which is playing France tonight. There is simply no escaping the sport. You really do need to wonder why America failed to adopt this sport, picking instead the bizarre American football, where huge players hurl themselves at each other and end up with brain damage.

________________

Memo From Cairo
A Nation’s Shaken Ego Seen in a Soccer Loss

CAIRO — Of all the events in contemporary history, it is the soul-shattering military defeat of 1967, when Arab armies lost land to Israel, that some Egyptians have pointed to for comparison as the nation struggles to come to terms with the debacle that followed their loss to Algeria in a soccer game.

Losing the critical game last month to secure a spot in the World Cup was bad enough. But the aftermath, first anti-Algerian riots then a long period of unprecedented hand wringing, has laid bare a nation struggling to come to terms with its diminished standing, said political analysts, writers and academics, as well as Egyptians who attended the game in Khartoum, Sudan.

“The comparison with 1967 has a specific significance, the defeat of ’67 weakened Egypt as a country and within the Arab world,” said Hassan Nafa, a political scientist at Cairo University. “It broke Egypt.”

With all the challenges Egyptians face — more than half the population lives on less than $2 a day — nothing has mobilized public opinion in recent history quite like the events that occurred in Sudan. Egypt thought it would beat Algeria and earn a World Cup berth for the first time in 20 years. It approached the contest more like a nation going to war than to a soccer game.

When it lost and Egyptian fans left the stadium, many said they were chased down and harassed by Algerians, and some suffered minor injuries. But, most of all, they said they were deeply offended and left feeling helpless.

“How can Egypt, the Arab symbol of strength, be humiliated like this in the streets of Khartoum?” asked Ahmed Tarek, 33, who runs an Egyptian advertising agency in Sudan. “And if we are really a strong country, why aren’t we doing something about it? Nobody had ever insulted the Egyptians to this degree. This issue revealed so many things, it woke up the people.”

The government weighed in heavily, going all the way to the top with the president, Hosni Mubarak, giving an emotional speech before Parliament in which he said, “I want to say in clear words that the dignity of Egyptians is part of the dignity of Egypt.”

The streets of Cairo today are filled with lighted billboards of Egyptian flags and signs that say “proud to be Egyptian.” Television talks shows and daily newspapers have been busy with discussion about Egyptian identity, while commentators have lamented the final collapse of pan-Arab unity. The Ministries of Information and Foreign Affairs have publicly criticized each other in connection with the soccer crisis. Relations between Algeria and Egypt became so strained that the Arab League asked Libya’s leader, Col. Muammar el-Qaddafi, to mediate.

But the national trauma was so profound and so prolonged that the discussion began to shift, and not as the government had tried to guide it: to rally around the flag, and the leadership. “The leader who uses power and oppresses his citizens and forges their will in elections cannot convince anyone when he speaks about the dignity of the citizens,” wrote Alaa al-Aswani, the best-selling author and social critic in the Nov. 24 issue of the newspaper Shorouk.

Instead, people focused on domestic failings that until now were largely tolerated, or swallowed: A ferry that sank leaving 1,000 Egyptians lost at sea; universities ranked among the worst in the world; an Egyptian border guard killed by the Israelis; Egypt’s longtime culture minister losing to a Bulgarian as the new leader of Unesco; and now Algerians desecrating the Egyptian flag.

“The Real Meaning of Egyptian Dignity,” read a headline in a biting column in the Dec. 1 issue of Al Masry Al Youm, an independent daily newspaper. “Our dignity,” wrote Amar Ali Hassan in that article, “is here and not in Khartoum and we must seize it now before we bid it farewell forever.”

Over time, the object of most people’s ire has shifted from the Algerians to the government, which many have started to accuse of exploiting the defeat for political gain, even as they continue to ache over the personal loss of pride.

In the weeks since the soccer loss, people continue to write aggressively about the event. There have been newspaper columns attacking the government’s failure to manage this and every other crisis, columns attacking the way Arab countries treated Egyptians, columns calling for Arab unity, and columns examining the history of Arab relations and the history of Egyptian-Algerian relations.

The government has long looked for a rallying point to drive loyalty to the state, and thought it found that in the Algeria match, social commentators said.
But what has emerged, instead, is a surge in nationalism wrapped up in anger — and despair. “If we are infuriated, it is not over soccer, to hell with the game, we are infuriated over our dignity,” said Hamada Abdullah, who lives in Daqahalya, northeast of Cairo. “We love this country and don’t want to be humiliated whether from the authorities inside or from other people outside. We feel oppressed and constrained and unable to do anything.”

There are two large lighted billboards displaying the Egyptian flag posted along the heavily trafficked October 6th Bridge, a name that itself speaks to Egypt’s longstanding search for pride. The bridge was named for the day in 1973 that Egypt, Syria and other Arab nations attacked Israel as Jews observed Yom Kippur, the holiest observance of the year. Egypt crossed the Suez Canal and for four days had the upper hand before Israel pressed the Egyptian military back.

The initial success was enough to be seen as a victory, a salve to the humiliation of 1967, when Israel occupied the Sinai Peninsula. Egyptians are hoping that they can once again find their way back, wrote Ibrahim el-Bahrawi in the Dec. 1 issue of Al Masry Al Youm.

Comparing the loss in 1967 with events in Khartoum, he wrote, “The Egyptian dignity which was wounded by the behavior of the Algerian thugs as they chased after the peaceful Egyptian fans in the streets of Khartoum will rise once again across the nation.”


NY Times December 10, 2009


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India 2009

Arrival
"Take a dose. If you vomit within an hour, take another dose." - How to take Malarone (anti-malarial)

My entry into India was inauspicious. Before I even deplaned, the flight attendant announced my name, along with one of the many Mr. Singhs and Mr. Patels. Perhaps even a Chaterjee, although Mumbai is not a Chaterjee stronghold. The smiling flight attendant supervising steerage referred me to the smiling flight attendant responsible for the boldly named Upper Class, who sent me on the the ground staff beyond the gate. She broke the bad news "Sorry, Madame. Your luggage did not make the flight" and I threw her into the depths of confusion which I replied "but I have two bags." I was instructed to meet her, and everyone else from the flight, at carousel 4.

At carousel 4, her team mate tried to steer me to the counter, to start the paperwork concerning my missing bag. I refused, saying that I needed to wait for the other bag. I stood there, in a mix of exhaustion and dispair, wondering how I would survive without clothes. Fortunately, my wedding clothes were chilling out in Bozeman, Montana, awaiting delivery to Bangalore by an old friend and fellow guest. But, still, even the fast drying engineered fabrics I am wearing can’t get me through days of travel.

The Virgins - what else could the staff of Virgin possibly be? - tell me "bag will come" and they will deliver it to me. I explain, patiently, that I will leave at 6AM the next morning for…Dungarpur, which is a 120km drive from Udaipur. They still have that perky airline look but it is now layered with confusion. Dungarpur?

It is clear that they have no idea where Dungarpur is. No one does.

So I join the scrimmage at the carousel waiting for lesser of my two bags. A small cardboard box, actually, containing a 2 ounce tube of hair gel, a 1 ounce tube of sun screen and similar tubes of shampoo and moisturizer. They are in this box because the Transportation Safety Administration at Newark invented a new rule: liquids being carried on need to be in their original containers.. They insist that this rule has been in place since 2006. Like legions of travelers before me, I am forced to walk a fine line between self-assertion and not doing something thing that will get me barred from my flight. I appeal to the guard, saying that I have flown dozens of times since the rule was created, with these very same bottles. He does not care. I speak to his supervisor, and tell her that bottles like this are being sold to travelers across America, that an entirely new industry has been created to keep the TSA happy. She says something derogatory about not caring about the things they sell in stores and I realize that I have lost.

Groggy, because I awakened at 4:30 AM, , and pissed off, I ask for my bottles back and walk back towards the check-in counter, in my socks. The agent won’t give me the bottles until I’m "outside" - but I have no idea where "outside" is. We walk until we reach that magical space and he hands them to me. I trudge back to the counter, still in my socks, hoping that I don’t slip and kill myself but too annoyed to stop and put my sneakers on.

The woman at the counter is lovely - she tells me that sometimes they object to medicine that isn’t in prescription bottles, which terrifies me, because all of mine are in little baggies. Why the TSA would care about pills at all, and especially pills leaving the country, is unclear, but I realize that I’m in some place where people are free to create rules - and entirely new missions for their agencies - at will. And I'm not in India yet.

The woman re-appears with a small cardboard box, which she says is a better option than trying to re-call my bag. I drop in the offending toiletries, she hands me a baggage tag, and I go back through security. It is this box I await, feeling absurd. I will be able to use my preferred shampoo, but not change my clothes.

Finally, everyone is gone from the carousel except for the six people who are still awaiting their bags. I am about to give up, thinking "screw the shampoo" when my suitcase appears. It is the toiletries that have gone astray! I have never been so delighted to see my underwear in my life.

While the ground staffwoman is happy for me, she tells me that I cannot leave until I fill out the requisite forms. I tell her that I really don’t care about the toiletries. She tells me that I MUST fill out the forms. There are four. At this point, I have been traveling for more than 24 hours. The flight from London was late. It was crowded. Full. And crowded, full Indian is very different from crowded, full anything else. Lots of babies and toddlers, wailing and talking loudly. People visiting in the aisles. People changing seats. People standing when the crew wants them to sit.

The gay British flight attendant invoking the authority of the seat belt sign is simply no match for the 6 foot tall Sikh who has decided he’s hot and wants to stow his jacket NOW.

So I start to fill out the forms. I ask how they expect to get the box to me. She tells me, brightly, that I can pick it up at the Udaipur airport. I tell her that I won’t be at the Udaipur airport for 10 days - I will be 120 km from the Udaipur airport. She says, in that classic Indian syntax, "hotel will send a car." I respond "hotel will charge me 3,000 Rs to send a car to pick up $5 worth of toiletries." We are at an impasse until I suggest that she send the box to my friends in Mumbai, with whom I will stay at the end of the trip. That way, I can get to their house, empty the bottles and bring them home for my next trip, which assuredly won‘t be via Newark. She is delighted. Her problem is solved. She tells me to be sure to alert my friends to the pending delivery of the box so they won‘t be disturbed.

Now, I can think of many things that might disturb my friends, but a box containing shampoo is not one of them. Mama Jinx and her family fled the Berlin of the Nazis. They ended up in Cuba, since America wasn‘t doing Jews. Then, with all the other German Jews, on to Washington Heights when America changed her mind. Then to college, where she met her husband, a native of Mumbai, where she has lived for 55 years. Their family owns a restaurant next to the Taj hotel, where staff and customers spent a tense night behind shutters during the attack on Mumbai. No, shampoo won’t disturb them.

Finally, Virgin is ready to release me - to Customs. But, since all the passengers have long-since left, there is but one inspector, who is ripping apart the bag of some hapless Indian. She asks him if he could clear me, since I am a foreigner and have nothing to declare. He barks at her that he will not be forced, and opens his victim‘s other bag. Clothing is strewn everywhere. Two other passengers whose bags were also…delayed… join me. Where I am simply hungry and exhausted, they are agitated, because they have connecting flights to catch. And the Custom‘s agent responds, again, that he will not be forced. He continues his investigation of the bags. A second agent appears and we’re allowed on our way.

The hotel clerk is surprised to see me. Someone had just returned from the airport where they waited for me, paged me repeatedly - and then concluded that I was not coming. Except there are no pages in the baggage claim area. So up to my room, dump my bags and out to buy the toiletries I am more likely to find in Mumbai than Dungarpur, and, of course, a SIM card for my phone.

I am prepared. I have a visa photo and a neatly trimmed photocopy of my passport. Except that the photocopy can‘t be trimmed - there‘s no room for the signatures, and stamps, and other scribbling - and I need a letter from the hotel, on letterhead, signed by the manager, with my room number. Apparently, he also needs to stamp one of the forms. This means that I need to walk back, across the highway, to the hotel, get the paperwork, and come back. It is 90 degrees. I am hallucinating with fatigue. I implore the shopkeeper. He sends his clerk back with me, with copies of the requisite letters required and the form to be stamped. I explain what is needed to the receptionist, who consults with the hotel manager. He clearly is not pleased to have to do this. He reviews the sample. He looks at the form. He has a lengthy conversation with the peon, who is pointing at the various pieces of paper. Finally, he relents. He types the three sentences, prints, signs and stamps the letter. Then there is more discussion about the need to stamp the form, which he ultimately does. The Republic of India is safe. Another potential terrorist defeated.

Now that I have my phone, I place the calls that I have been told I must make - to momzillia of the bride and her much saner and more detached husband, whose only comment, which is the same one he made last month, is that he is signing checks. Except this time he adds that his wife is insane, which I‘ve known for years. He observes that Cookie is behaving as though she is directing an epic - and this from a man who knows what it means to direct. Mom had warned me that she would start babbling about elephants within 30 seconds so I divert her with my observations of how India has progressed in the 9 years since I last visited. My preliminary conclusion, reached before I ever set foot in the country, was that all they‘ve done is computerized the chaos.

The last time I was in Bangalore, Girish drove me to the airport, past dozens of under-construction residential towers, a sign of the new India. Since then, India has bloomed. It has sprouted a new middle class, employed in call centers, in bastions of outsourcing, on IT teams across America, in American universities and medical centers. India had moved from bicycles to motor scooters to Merutis. They use their cell phones to text and eat at trendy restaurants.

All of which is true. But…

I booked my flights via the Web sites of the new Indian domestic airlines, reputed to be models of capitalist efficiency as compared to the incompetence of the older, government owned airline. They emailed me confirmations, let me change plans on-line, sent me e-tickets. WOW. Until I needed to make one last change, to cancel one last flight, on a major airline that required me to call.

After asking for detailed information confirming that I was me, they cancelled the flight. Since they asked me for my eticket number, I was confused, because I hadn‘t received any etickets from them. So I asked them to check that all was well with the other flights I‘d booked with them - and had to have my identity verified all over again, only to be told. "Sorry Madam. Udaipur / Jaipur flight not going. Cancelled for operational reasons." When were they planning to tell me? "Sorry, Madam, (indecipherable) office in this call center not yet knowing that flight is cancelled." I am then asked if I would like to book another flight. No, I tell her, because that was their only flight at that time and, if need be, I’ll drive between the cities. "Oh no, Madam. We have another flight." But it will take only 5 hours to drive and I know they don’t have anything direct. "Yes, Madam, fly Udiapur Delhi Jaipur, 4 ½ hours." Which means they have me flying in a circle, with a plane change in between. No. So I ask if they could send me an eticket for my remaining flight. Of course! But what shows up in my inbox is the same thing I’d received before, which is not an eticket and does not have an eticket number. I point this out and am told "Yes, Madame. We don’t send etickets."

I immediately email a friend who is also going to the wedding - but who has never been to a country in the developing world and who has told me that he does not travel well. I have been giving him hard won bits of travel knowledge for the past few weeks and I now proceed to give him an old tip on India: feeling lonely? Ring the airline and re-confirm your flight. Can’t think of what to do? Drop into the airline office and reconfirm your flight. Want a break from sightseeing? Stop into the office and reconfirm your flight. Reconfirm your flight as often as is humanly possible - and you will lower the odds of showing up for a flight that has been cancelled.

I am now off to the medical store to replace my toiletries, which I do with surprising ease, even finding the brands I use. This is the new India, a place where international brands shout high status from store shelves.

There is, however, one product I do not bother looking for - self-tanning lotion, because the idea that anyone would want darker skin simply does not exist in a culture that prizes fairness. When both my friends said that they would get "spray tans" so they would look their best in the bright colored clothing we will wear to some nights of the wedding, I knew that I would be at a disadvantage, because I would be traveling for several weeks before the event, and thus would be pasty beneath my sunscreen. In other words, I would look like a Parsi, the way I always do. But now, all hope is lost - unless I get to a place with email and ask my friends to toss a tube into their luggage. Self-tanning lotion. India. Talk about an error message!

10 Days Looking for the New India in the Old India without Heat, Hot Water, a Shower or an Internet Connection

I had booked a 6AM flight for Udaipur the next morning, knowing that jet lag and travel exhaustion would work in my favor. I go to sleep at the unimaginable hour of 6PM, and awaken at 2:30 AM, with plenty of time to catch my flight.

For the first time in years, I need to check luggage. Virgin tells you that you can carry on only a bag weighing 6 kilos, which is what I remember from flying them en route to Iran. I emailed - and called - to make sure that this was really the rule and was assured that, yes, it is strictly enforced. Virgins lie.

Security in Mumbai does not care about liquids but metal manicure implements are risky so I toss mine into my suitcase. I had already stored the AA batteries needed by my mouse because the long-standing Indian phobia about batteries apparently still exists, but has grown more nuanced, another accommodation to the new India without giving up the old.

While leafing through my guidebook, I read that security in Udaipur is strict about batteries in carry-on. No, I thought, this cannot still be, as a memory comes flooding back, of a well dressed French woman grabbing her camera batteries from the functionary who is so busy writing out a receipt, a process that is taking so long that she will miss her flight - and flinging across the waiting room, then announcing "I have no batteries. Give me my ticket!"

I immediately emailed my friends in Mumbai - and was told that this is not an issue in modern Mumbai - but one never knows what the situation is in other places. I post a question on the TripAdvisor Rajastan forum, and am assured that this is old information. But I hear the Virgin flight crew announce that laptop and camera and cell phone batteries can be carried on domestic flights - but not AAs. India’s peculiar logic once again.

Having dealt with airline security three times in three different countries in the last 24 hours, I am intrigued by how differently each interprets the same threats. America worries about liquids, shoes and laptops. Britain is concerned with boots and liquids but not laptops while India cares about sharps and AAs.

I go the Security and am then delighted to avoid the large line because I must go through women’s security, where no one waits.

There is a common waiting area and, in front of the doors to the tarmac, a series of gates, like the ones on the field at a racetrack. As each flight is called - and there are many at this early hour - a plaque with the flight number and destination is mounted above a gate, the passengers rush through it, and then it is updated. This is quick and efficient and leads you to an outdoor area filled with buses, each taking you to your plane. Here, again, is a dispatcher and there are signs along sections of the area, indicating the destination. It is breathtakingly efficient and almost choreographed in its motion.

I land in Udaipur 70 minutes later in the brisk desert air - it is 11 degrees Celsius. I immediately find my driver and we cover the 120 km to Dungarpur in about two hours. It is on this ride that I see timeless, rural India, the India whose image is strong in my mind but difficult to find when traveling. Sometimes you pass it on a bus or train but increasingly you fly from one modern city to another so, seeing the people who have migrated to the city, seeing the ways of the city, but never seeing village India.

On this morning, I see women walking with a practiced slow and stately gait down the road with one or two large metal jars of water balanced on their head. And then you see the wells, modern with metal pump handles, arrayed periodically along the road. The road is a good one, with two lanes of traffic in each direction, separated by a barrier, which eliminates the breathless excitement of watching your car speed headfirst towards an on-coming vehicle while passing a slow moving vehicle. In the post-Mumbai era, everyone is concerned with terrorism but travel authorities point out how vastly more dangerous the roads are, so I am glad to see this major safety improvement.

The vehicles are overwhelmingly trucks, moving goods south. There is the occasional motorcycle, some buses and the very rare car. Along the road, people walk, which is one of the lingering images of India - people walking along roads, at all hours, in all places. They are wrapped in wool shawls against the morning chill, heads covered, rail thin.

The land is dry but with crops being cultivated. There are shops clustered along the road now and then to serve the truck drivers, whose vehicles are small and, sometimes, frighteningly overloaded. When we turn off the main road, we see the three wheeled taxis formerly known as auto rickshaws and now called TukTuks, as they are in Thailand. They are cheap, generally transporting an unbelievable number of people and dangerous, because with three wheels, they are unstable in a collision, and their thin metal is no match for a car or truck. As soon as I see them, my body wants to leave the plush car I’m riding in and jump into a TukTuk, to breath the country air, to leave my bubble, to partake of India.

I have booked three nights at a Heritage Hotel - these are old palaces or forts or merchants’ mansions that have been converted to luxury hotels. It is the only place to stay in Dungarpur and Dungarpur is the only place within striking distance of the Bhil festival. It is a lovely 19th century palace, with the royals still in residence, on the side of a lake, in a bird sanctuary. Today I watched a bird soaring on air currents across the blue sky, so high that it vanished sometimes into the vapor, almost impossible to see.

Dungarpur is in the Bhil heartland. They are known as archers, who helped various Rajas secure their kingdoms for hundreds of years, and as stone masons, who build Hindu temples as far away as London. This palace has wonderful carvings, not only on the walls but on a structure built inside one of the courtyards. The wall of the open-air dining courtyard has patterns made from black and white stones, with a temple-like tower in the center. It also has an enormous and magnificent central table, filled with water on which lotuses float and in-laid with semi-precious stone designs, in true Mughal style.

My room has a small balcony overlooking the lake and a wonderful structure on a small man-made island a few meters off shore. The grounds are well tended and the owners keep a number of large, friendly dogs who want only to be petted and scratched. I spent a lazy day, sleeping off my jet lag called and sitting on my balcony reading and blogging. It reminds me of the Lake Palace Hotel in Udaipur, where I spent two days years ago, doing much the same - except then I could not leave, because Udaipur was under 24 hour curfew and I picked the Lake Palace because it seemed the ideal place to wait for my flight out. Because it is an old stone mansion, built for the heat, it is incredibly cold inside, many degrees colder than outside. I pull out my down sweater, worn to the airport, and sit with it thrown over my shoulders.

Dungarpur

I awaken on my first real day of holiday with a head cold, the legacy of my flight. The man seated behind me coughed and sneezed for hours, and I knew I was doomed. While there are many things to hate about air travel - the cramped seats, the bad food, the long flights - those are temporary inconveniences compared to starting every vacation with a bad cold. I packed meds for it, I prepared for it, but still I am disheartened and immediately start popping Sudafed in an effort to contain it.

I walk into town, which is much larger than it looks, and very busy, with rows of food sellers, Hindu and Muslim temples and the usual manner of shops. The town is surprisingly dusty and even polluted - I see a few people walking with bandanas over their nose and mouth. With memories of the pollution blocking the sun in Delhi, I have brought a real mask to wear there, to protect my lungs. I suspect I will not be the only person wearing one. New India puts in an appearance here, in the almost incomprehensible signs touting finishing schools which, I can only assume, would qualify someone to work in a call center, and in the signs offering training in computers - offered by Ethical Hacker.

I take a TukTuk up to the site for which Dungarpur is famous, the Juna Mahal, a 13th century palace high on a hill overlooking the town. It is the ancestral home of the family that now lives in the Udai Balas, where I stay, which was built after a schism. At some point, one branch of the family moved south, established a new kingdom.

The Juna Mahal is 7 storeys tall, short, full of narrow staircases with very high steps and low doorways. You not only need to watch your head but also your shoulders, for those lovely scalloped arches bulge out at just the right height.

The rooms at the Juma have every surface painted, or inlaid, or mirrored or, or, or. It is considered to be the finest palace in Rajasthan. Because of its location, it is rarely visited so I have it to myself.

Some rooms have a mix of religious painting and hunting or court scenes. If you look carefully at the secular scenes, you notice that the faces are portraits, painted with great care and a different technique. These are portraits of the people who lived there, which you realize when touring these places and seeing the same faces over and over until you realize "Oh, that’s the Maharaja!" In the West, in a museum, they are simply faces, but here they are the photo gallery, the story of the royal family’s lives.

I spent time gazing out of the windows of the Maharini’s quarters, where she lived in purdah so, despite all the luxury and ornamentation, these views were all she saw of the world. She would hear gossip from her servants and from trades people but these few vistas, of the stables, of the town in the valley, was all she was allowed and it was very far away.

I prefer to linger, taking photos not only of the sights but also of the shadows. But the caretaker guides me through so I don’t get to set the speed.

The rooms have different functions: audience hall, bedroom sitting room - and Kama Sutra closet, filled with 50 tiny erotic paintings. Anyone who rails against decadence and pornography should study world art - and then take up a new crusade.

I would like to explore the residential part of the town beneath the Mahal, but it is far from my hotel and my cold is winning. Perhaps I will return tomorrow, after the festival, because this is a lovely area of humble buildings painted glowing colors, of goats sitting on steps, of people living their lives. I could easily spend a few hours trying to capture it with my camera (I wanted to write "on film" - but there is no film anymore. "On my memory card" lacks poetry. Hmm…)

I go back to my room and return in the evening to my perch. Tonight Hindi film music is being played in the off-shore structure, which is fine, because I’ve been fond of it - within reason - for years. There is also religious music in the dusk and calls to prayer. Plus the ever-present horns, the soundtrack of Indian roads.

As I spend time here, I wonder what the royal family won, all those years ago. Yes, they have a palace, and probably ancestral lands and money. But they are stuck in Dungarpur, without so much as an Internet connection. But this is what I always wonder about people who live out their lives in the small places, the backwaters of the world. What does it feel like? Do they think of escape? Do they feel trapped by the routine of small towns? Or is this the projection of the granddaughter of immigrants and thus genetically pre-disposed to need the stimulation and novelty?

Baneshwar Fair

This morning I set out for the Baneshwar Fair, the annual religious festival of the Bhil people and the reason I am in Dungarpur.

The Bhils are 40 percent of the population of southern Rajasthan and north Gujurat and are described as one of the most primitive tribes in India. I don’t know what primitive means in this context - or, for that matter, in any other. After all, the West dubbed much of the world primitive because literacy was not widespread and because people worshiped different gods. Within other societies, such as Indonesia, certain groups are labeled primitive - the headhunting Dayak of Borneo, and, if memory serves, the Torjans of Sulawesi and the Batak of Sumatra. So what does it mean here?

As we drive deeper into southern Rajasthan, further from major roads and, soon, anything resembling a town, I see mile after mile of dun colored arid landscape where only scrub and cactus grow. There is no water for agriculture, or for much else, because women and children walk along the roads hauling water on their heads. There are the usual mangy, emaciated bullocks, some goats and, rarely, sheep. The land is unrelentingly harsh and the people are uniformly thin, although that word doesn’t begin to capture bodies with a complete lack of softness, burnt dark by the sun. This is eternal, ancient India, where the signs of modernization are bright polyester dresses on the women and pants replacing dhotis on the men. While there were few signs in English in Dungarpur, here there are few signs at all and the question is literacy and any education.

In addition to the people walking on the roads, working in the fields and carrying all manner of things on their heads, we pass groups of people sitting by the road, apparently waiting. There are local buses, the size of small school buses, jammed with people inside and, always, many men sitting on top and hanging from the sides. Because the two way road is one rough-edged lane wide, there is a well established protocol of passing and yielding rules. But to accommodate a bus or a truck, the vehicle going the other way must drive on the shoulder of the road - assuming that there is one - and I wonder how often these heavily laden buses tip over because they are already unbalanced and then encounter just too much of a slant on the side of the road. Here, again, cars are scarce but tractors, used for transport as well as work, are more common and are the vehicles most likely to be overtaken.

The women’s costume here is the lenga, a full, long skirt plus a tight, short sleeved blouse that bares the waist and a shawl that winds across it all, the way the end of a sari does, and over the head. The colors are brilliant pinks and oranges and reds and blues, sometimes with sequins. Perhaps 5 percent of the women have their shawls pulled down over their faces. I I have never seen this before and learn later that newly married women pull the tops of their shawls down to their chin. After five years, they raise it to mid-face. Years later, it can be raised more.

While the sari is the costume everyone knows,, it is only one of three, traditionally worn in different parts of the country. North Indian wear salwaar kameez and duputa: baggy pants, a knee length loose shirt and a long scarf worn across the neck and flowing down the back. Because it is easier to wear than the sari, especially for working women, it has lost its regional association and is displacing the sari among younger, educated women. There are regional variations in how the sari is worn, involving mostly (I think) the part that is worn over the hair by traditional women. And then, in Rajasthan and Gujarat, there is the lenga. There are more local variations too - in the Kulu valley in the Himalayas, women wear a woven wool blanket like garment wrapped around their bodies and secured at the shoulder. ,

Baneswhar is 64KM from Durgarpur. It takes us about 2 hours to drive there, even though there is little traffic.

Tomorrow is the full moon and thus the climatic day of the fair. I had heard that it was "crowded" on that date, and on this, but could not get any more information about what "crowded" meant. Well, it means really crowded, according to the manager of my hotel - 200,000 Bhils will participate in the procession from the temples to the junction of the three rivers. That is way more people than I want to be around so I decided to come on this day.

It is hot at the fair, much hotter than in Dungarpur. It grows more crowded by the hour. I do not stay longer because, for all its exoticism, it is not especially interested. There are long rows of stalls selling the cheap, brightly colored toys that are a staple of every fair from India through Burma to Vietnam. There are a surprising number of stalls selling ironware, mostly the metal ends of hoes. And a few stalls selling furniture legs, probably for charpoys, the string woven beds of India. There are a few holy men and all wear clothing, unlike their brethren in other locales.

Not only am I the only foreigner, I am virtually the only non-Bhil.

The Bhils look different from most of the Indians you see in cities of any size. They are much darker and much more tribal looking. I’m not sure what that means other than to say that the Central Asian / Persian / Mughual blood that gives many Indians their "wheaten" or fair complexions, to use the language of matrimonial ads, is completely missing from their faces. In these people you see a kinship to the south Indian Tamils, black, tiny, beautiful people, the original inhabitants, I believe, of the sub-continent. When you see men bathing in the river, you realize that they are tanned but they still look distinctly different.

When we enter Dungarpur, I feel as though I am in a large, busy city because it is, by far, the largest and most sophisticated place for miles, complete with banks, 24 hour ATMs and real shops selling mobile phones and other sophisticated goods.

I am realizing, with dismay, the my cold is starting to visit my chest, where it will inevitably make me thoroughly miserable, so I am changing my plans for the next few days. Driving 5 ½ hours north to Ranakapur and then spending the afternoon visiting a Jain temple, followed by an early morning drive to a fort two hours distant and then back to Udaipur the next day was always an ambitious itinerary. Now it would be just foolish, so I will go to Udaipur and let this bloody bug determine what I do next.

Redemption Song

By this point, devoted readers are thinking "What - she’s sick again? Didn’t she whine about a cold in Vietnam? And now in India? Some world traveler. Harrumph.

Well, dear reader, gentle friend, with full knowledge that it is the poorest of taste to delight in the misfortune of others, I will none-the-less repeat tonight’s dinner conversation.

An American couple sitting at the same humongous, magnificent inlaid marble dining table overhear the hotel manager ask if I’m still sick. As I respond that I will no doubt be sick for the duration of the trip, the American woman chimes in "me too! I’ve just figured out that I’ve got bronchitis." She and her husband spent the day in Delhi before flying down this morning and WHAM, her lungs are shutting down and she’s losing her voice. She doesn’t have the right drugs or know what to do.

I diagnose her, instantly, as a victim of Delhi’s notorious air pollution, which she said is especially bad due to a lot of construction. I then tell her about the wonders of pharmacies in the developing world - you can wander in and get whatever drugs you need without a prescription. Now, there is the odd concern about counterfit drugs, which is why I wouldn’t buy anti-malarials anywhere, and why I wouldn’t buy anything in China, and out of date drugs, which is a problem at Duane Reade too - but, overall, it can be a wonderful supermarket often staffed by knowledgeable pharmacists accustomed to prescribing and completely unafraid of being sued since the local concept of liability can be best revealed by a stroll down any sidewalk in town. Now, there are occasional surprises - apparently, in Ecuador no one has insomnia or, if they do, does anything about it, because requests for Restoril were met with a blank stare. But, overall, the medicine store is the traveler’s friend.

After listening to her tale of woe, I suggest that she consider codeine cough syrup or, if she doesn’t want to bother with the syrup part, codeine tablets. Life is wonderful without the DEA and the Rockefeller drug laws. I name an excellent non-narcotic cough medicine and ask solicitously about other symptoms. She is relieved, delighted beyond words. She, too, was sick in Vietnam and in all the usual cities and countries where the air is so polluted that it is visible as it goes straight for your respiratory system.

The downside of this, of course, is that I will need to wear my mask for most of the rest of the trip. And mine is no little manicurist’s mask, like the Japanese wear. Mine has a carbon filter, which is the least a girl can pack.

So, dear reader, while I have now placed myself in the mainstream of travelers with delicate respiratory systems, as opposed to those with sensitive digestive systems, this should serve as a lesson on the price of development in much of the world, air so bad that it cannot be tolerated. We heard all the discussion about clearing the air for the Beijing Olympics - but that was just a few days, and the citizens suffer the rest of the time, as they do in Bangkok and Hanoi and Saigon and Delhi and Mumbai and, and, and… It gives children asthma and other respiratory diseases in countries that lack the medical infrastructure to manage them. It shaves years off of their parents’ lives.

Udaipur
"Be prepared for crowds, dirt and pollution and persistent hotel touts" - Footprint Rajasthan.

I drove to Udaipur this morning. The landscape that struck me as deep country a few days ago now seems relatively developed

The streets of the old part of Udaipur are narrow and hilly, with no sidewalks, buzzing with motorcycles, auto rickshaws, cars, cows, school buses, pedestrians and a very,very large elephant with Shiva’s trident painted on his forehead. It is hot. Rckshaw drivers approach and you need to bargain hard to get a remotely reasonable price "very far, Madame. Up on the mountain. (mountain? What mountain?). I am staying at a modest hotel, which, like most mid-range hotels here, is built tall, with the restaurant on the roof overlooking the lake. My room is all marble, with windows looking out on a wall. It is freezing inside, so cold that I ask for a heater, which I pray won’t catch fire because it is old and turned on and off by unplugging it- or so the boy who sets it up says. I turn it around and see a giant switch. Oddly, there are no pillows or blankets on the bed and the only other place to sit is a cot sized green marble seat, which is hard and cold and looks like a Muslim tomb.

As soon as I walk out of the hotel, a horribly crippled beggar scoots across the road towards me at top speed, but I dodge his outstretched arm effortlessly. You see a type of cripple in India that you see no where else. While some of it may be due to pre-natal malnutrition or polio, there are also people who cripple children, turning them into professional beggars. Those scenes in Slumdog Millionaire are, unfortunately, true. Poverty can cause astonishing cruelty.

The streets are lined with shops selling the cheapest goods: handbags, clothing, pillow covers and bedspreads. I am sure that some of the young tourists buy this stuff but it gives India an undeserved reputation for shoddy craftsmanship. .

While taking a break in a small tea shop, I am joined by an Australian couple about my age, who have been in India for months and are dying to know where I got the chocolate protein bar I‘m nibbling on, which I brought from New York. They long for a change from the constant ghee (clarified butter) and sauces on food.

The wife is, of course, recovering from punemonia,

In addition to the pollution from motor vehicles and fires, the streets are littered with cow dung, cow urine, doggy doo, elephant excrement and Dumbo pee - and ordinary dust, dirt and whatever is in the runoff channels on the side of the road. Now imagine all of that drying and being picked up by pedestrian feet or the wine and being inhaled and you will start to get a picture of the problem. I see a number of people with handkerchiefs over their nose and mouth and women with scarves bound tightly around their heads and across their face, revealing only their eyes. They may look like terrorists but this is pollution, not religion. I am attractively decked out in my mask.

Udaipur is definitely an "old India" town. I have the following conversation with the hotel’s staff. "Where can I find WiFi?" "We have free WiFi." But later, I am given the rest of the message "WiFi not working; connection bad." It is the pattern of the conversation that makes it Old India - it starts out so well, so confidently, so promisingly. And there is always, always, something left unsaid that sends you crashing down to Indian reality.

I decide to check out the medical store and am surprised that it is much more poorly stocked than those in Dungarpur. The shopkeeper tells me they take what is available and that is not much.

I have dinner at the restaurant on top of my hotel, which has a wonderful view of the lake and the Lake Palace hotel. The lake is not in great shape - it is increasingly choked with vegetation - but the view is wonderful. I watch a group of lemurs - five adults and 4 babies - play on the rooftops, groom each other and then settle into a nearby tree for dinner. While enchanting to watch, once you’ve been around a monkey, you don’t want to be anywhere near them. They steal things, snatch necklaces and, in the process, can scratch you badly. But, from this distance, it is amazing to see the young chase each other and jump across various things on the rooftop.

CNBC‘s reporter is trying to get the CFO of InfoSys, the huge Indian outsourcing company, to say that the American prohibition on companies receiving bailout funds from hiring H1Bs will impact InfoSys. The CFO keeps making calming comments but the reporter keeps pushing for a crisis. It reminds me why I don‘t watch TV.

Udaipur Day 2

"

…avoid the cream tea as the scones are so hard they will crack your teeth." - Footprint, Rajastan

The City Palace is Udaipur’s pre-eminent attraction, and spent a very enjoyable 90 minutes inside. It is huge and magnificent, with public and private quarters, quarters for men and for women. Since most of the other tourists were on tours, I spent a while in a peaceful hidden garden several within the palace watching groups led by Indian guides speaking the appropriate language come up one staircase, walk their charges around the perimeter and then take them down through another door, with everyone taking photos of the exact same things. I will never understand this type of tourism, where people look at only the things they are instructed to see and have no time to wander.

In the courtyard of the palace there is an expensive, and very good, outdoor restaurant, which is a welcome change both from the buffets in Dungarpur and the backpacker restaurants surrounding my hotel. It is impossible to pick a restaurant when it is located four or five storeys above ground. The guidebook’s recommendations are best described as "sparse."

After the palace, I visit the Bagore ki Haveli, which is next to my hotel. The guidebook raves about it but I somehow can’t figure out what there is to see. There are signs pointing you to the museum which ultimately lead you to the roof. The only evidence I can find of a supposedly extensive collection of ethnographic articles is a map of the tribes of Rajasthan. I should have suspected something when I had to wake the ticket seller who, after taking my money, went on a frantic search for a ticket. As anyone who has traveled in India knows, if there is a ticket, 5 steps away there is a ticket taker, whose sole job is to punch or tear the ticket.

Some shops on the road to the City Palace have some tribal embroideries displayed so I venture in to one. The man immediately tells me "shop in back" and I am led down a labyrinthine passage to a haveli whose three floors are stuffed with Rajasthani and Guajarati tribal textiles and stacks of new bedspreads and table cloths. In the end, I am taken to three buildings like this. I am absolutely unable to perceive anything - there is just WAY too much stuff, all folded up and stacked on shelves. I realize that there must be more warehouses like this, which explains why this tribal material is so scarce in the countryside - and why there is so much pieced-together junk and fakes for sale. The proprietor is by turns boastful and nasty, and given to quoting absurd prices, which makes it impossible to talk about what I’d like to see or buy anything.

I return to my room to discover that the electricity is off "Coming one half hour, Madame" says the ever optimistic staff. Since they’d gotten the Internet working briefly in the morning, I was hoping to connect via WiFi because I’m getting emails from anxious friends worrying about why I haven’t uploaded anything. How do I explain that I have been, effectively, cut off from the on-line world even though, to most Americans, India now symbolizes that world?

Need I add that when I come back later, both the electricity and WiFi are working - but my netbook won’t connect? The problem is with the network, not with my netbook. The kid behind the desk wants to change my IP settings. No thank you. And, because I have somehow ended up with both a camera battery and a netbook in need of charging, I must decide which one to charge tonight. The room key, which is of an increasingly common type, disables ALL electricity in the room - it doesn’t even leave an outlet active. So the only time I can charge anything is when I’m in the room. I have only one surge protector so I need to decide which item will have unprotected sex with questionable power.

I ask about hot water, and am told that it is available 24 hours a day, which is completely at variance with my experience. I have been taking sponge baths in freezing water. Another of the nice young men at the desk replies " Solar power and today was windy so water not warm" - which makes sense for the second it takes for your mind to shout "What?"

Thinking that a walk will clear my head, I wander out into what I quickly realize is rush hour traffic. OMG! Two cars facing off on the narrow street, with one backing up to a rapidly approaching motor scooter - and a cow. There isn’t even room to stand on the side of the road and watching for motor vehicles coming in two directions, some at surprising high speed, and ensuring that I don’t step in cow dung is not what I had in mind. I retreat to my room and watch the news. Looking at the fair skinned news anchors, you would never guess that this is a country populated by brown skinned people. However, correspondents are dark skinned and ,not necessarily attractive, which argues for good content.

As I write this, News X is running a piece on "slum tourism" in Mumbai, which was increasing before Slumdog Millionaire and now is skyrocketing. The residents of the slums resent being treated like animals in the zoo. When people ask why I don’t take more photos of people when I travel, this is part of the reason why.

Ranakapur and Kumbhalgah - On the road in India

I am feeling well enough to flee Udaipur - or, more positively, to see the Jain temples at Ranakapur and the massive fort at Kumbhalgah. It is possible to see both in a long day of driving so I throw a protein bar, water and a few tranquillizers into my bag and set off. As I‘ve come to expect, the back seat has the shoulder part of the seat belt but nothing to anchor it to. I’ve stopped looking for, or asking about, the bottom piece. It just is.

It takes us a while to get out of Udaipur, whose "new" city I see for the first time. The streets are wider and the shops are better, there are restaurants at street level - and, in some areas, there are obviously expensive homes. But there are no hotels because there is nothing for tourists to see. Other cities with old quarters, such as Fes, provide hotels in both "cities." Istanbul pretty much confines tourists to the old city, which keeps them from experiencing the vibrancy of the new city on the Asian shore. Marrakesh provides beautiful hotels in an old city that is overwhelmingly clean. Unless you’re in a luxury hotel, you’ll end up in Udaipur’s old city.

When we finally clear traffic, we’re on a road in the countryside, which is barren but not as much so as the areas to the south. As part of my eternal debate on the roads of Asia - eyes open or shut? - I decide to keep mine closed and, at some point think that we’re going over an unusual number of speed bumps. Indian towns - or the rudimentary rural strip malls that pass for towns - moderate the homicidal traffic in one of two ways. Sometimes they install a speed bump at both ends of the strip, forcing vehicles to grind to a near halt. Other times, they put a series of metal gates across differing halves of the road, requiring vehicles to do a gentle slalom between them. Neither solution makes the traffic within the protected area saner, it just makes it slower. Horns still blare, scooters and cars and trucks and buses still jockey for position. Just more slowly.

Pop Quiz

Q. A road is barely two lanes wide, with traffic moving in opposite directions. A camel pulling a load is in one lane. How many lanes does that leave for traffic?

A. Two, if there is an unpaved shoulder, one and half if there isn’t.

When I reluctantly open my eyes, I realize that we are now on, essentially, a one lane winding mountain road on which traffic is, of course, going in two directions. And my driver is passing slower moving vehicles on blind mountain curves - at high speed. Every so often, there is another car coming at us at high speed and my driver pulls over to the side with barely a second to spare. He then becomes a devotee of the "horn please" school of driving for a while but relapses back into not using his horn soon thereafter.

Bad Blogger

It has been five days since I last blogged - it isn’t as though there is this wild nightlife - more that long car rides leave you exhausted and the day to day of travel just takes over. And then there is the inescapable reality that we’re slaves to our technology, as opposed to the other way round.

I’m traveling with my first Windows netbook - which appears to mean that whenever the battery gets low, I’m dead in the water. If I plug it in, it still drains the battery. So the decision I made to go with a 3 cell battery, which should provide 2.5 hours of life, is a problem because, if I plug it in when it is drained, it isn’t happy.

And then there’s the new discovery - Word isn’t compatible with blogs. I wrote 10 pages during the first part of the trip - and, when I finally got to a place that I could upload, it uploaded the whole thing as one enormous paragraph. I’ve been up and back with tech support, who suggested another Microsoft product, which I dutifully downloaded last night - only to discover this morning that I need to be on-line to use the thing. That’s no help. If I’m on-line, I’d just type into my blog directly. I need software so I can write posts that will format properly when I’m in places where there is no Net. I have a feeling that, as soon as I can get connected again, I’ll be downloading Open Office, which worked fine on my Linux netbook.

All of which means that, when I get home, because I won’t hassle with it here, I’ll be deleting all sorts of things that I tried - HP Upline, which lets you back up to an insanely high-security cloud - but which makes your boot time take forever. Since this is now my third cloud back-up service, I’m starting to think that this is a good idea that is not ready for prime time.

In any case…

Back to Ranakapur and Kumbhalgah

I arrived in Kumbhalgah about two hours after leaving Udaipur. There are lengthy ramps up to the fort at the top of the hill. Something I read said that the walls are visible from space, but that’s true of the Great Wall of China so I wonder whether they just adopted the claim. The guidebook also says that it is visited by very few tourists, which is absolutely not true - there is a continual stream of tourists - mostly Indian and, while I’m there, no groups.

The walk to the top takes 30 minutes and people in all sorts of physical condition are doing it. The retired Indian military man who is making his first outing after double bypass surgery. The woman whose bones are pinned together and healing after a serious car crash, moving slowly with a cane. Indians, in general, and especially in situations like this, are a friendly, very verbal, people who will talk about all sorts of things that Westerners would never think of revealing to absolute strangers - like the state of their coronary arteries.

The morning air is cool and there are places to rest on the way to the top, so the climb is quite doable. The interior of the fort is simple but the view from the top is spectacular - there are temple complexes and these great, wide walls encompassing a very large area.

I’ve learned from painful experience that walking down long slopes strains leg muscles unused in those of us who walk on flat surfaces - you’re essentially "breaking" the whole time. After trekking down the inside of a dormant volcano years ago in Sumatra, I could not so much as get up on a curb for days afterwards. So I pay great attention to which leg muscles I’m using and get away pain free.

We then drive to Ranakapur, which takes about 90 minutes and takes me through fertile valleys (at least on Rajastani terms), some of which have sprinklers going. There are many small villages and road-side towns, working camels, goats and sheep and cows so it is an very interesting trip. At one point we pass an extremely deep water tank which uses a bucket system on a very long chain to bring the water up. This is not a single bucket on a rope but rather a huge rope with perhaps a hundred buckets on it, each of which will bring up water. I’m sure that it is powered by a team of bullocks when in use because there is now way that a human could pull up that much water - there is no lever system, as there is at local wells.

A tourist in India needs to understand that virtually everyone involved with the tourism industry has a way to make money from you in addition to their formal role in your trip. Thus, you’re really not free to eat where you want in Ranakapur - you’re directed, as apparently are all the other independent tourists with cars, to the same restaurant, so you know that either your driver or the owner of the cars is getting a commission.

The Jain temples at Ranakapur are second to those at Mt. Abu, but that’s a pretty high standard so they are wonderful. The main temple has about 1,400 carved column, each of which is different. There are far fewer "idols" than at Mt. Abu. And they let you take photos of the architecture, but not the "idols," which is a real change from Mt. Abu in 1990, where I had to settle for buying slides.

As with most temples in India, and pretty much everywhere else in Asia, you need to remove your shoes, leaving you, at the end of the tour, with the dirtiest socks imaginable - a trivial price for this experience. Again, as is common, you need to dress modestly, whether male or female. No short pants, no short sleeved shirts - shawls are available for those who need to cover. And, as is the case with the Hindu/Animist temples in Bali, menstruating women are barred from visiting. I’d be interested to research it, but, as I write this, I think that every religion has a focus on ritual purity - celibacy, food taboos, menstruation taboos. And, despite this, religion is the most divisive force in the world.

I don’t know much about Jainism, which is a separate religion from Hinduism. I know that they eat food without spices, are such strict vegetarians that not only don’t they eat meat, they also don’t kill bugs and Jain priests and nuns wear masks to avoid accidentally inhaling a tiny insect. The members of the religion have, as their last name, Jain, and the religion seems to be centered in southern Rajasthan.

We re-trace the route we took so I am treated to another hour of winding mountain roads where tractors are the predominant vehicle. I realize how far I’ve come from my early days of traveling in Asia - I’ve adopted the prevalent fatalism and watch the theatre of the roads with a fair degree of detachment. Except, of course, for those really, really close near head on crashes. I understand the odd mix of cooperation and aggression that characterizes driving here. Unlike in America, where aggression is naked, here the drivers pull over to let a speeding car pass and will let them pull back into lane when an attempt to pass is de-railed by a rapidly approaching car. Even though the only vacant seat with a seat belt is the one next to the driver, there is no way that I’m sitting in what is commonly referred to as "the death seat." Yes, the seat belt will prevent me from going through the windshield, but these cars are built from very thin steel so you see them badly crushed after an accident.

I return to Udaipur exhausted by the hours of driving and search in vain for some place to eat near the hotel. Overall, Udaipur itself is worth at most a day, with another day for this trip.

To Shekawati

I catch an early morning flight to Jaipur, which is scheduled to continue on to Delhi. Note the word "scheduled" because, at the airport, those passengers are informed that Delhi is fogged in and they will be bussed from Jaipur. There are a lot of very unhappy people. It is a five hour drive and many passengers have connecting flights in Delhi. The airline staff lie effortlessly to the frantic passengers, assuring them that they will be in Delhi in plenty of time to make their 1 PM departure. I am skeptical.

At the airport I am re-united with the American couple from Dungarpur. She’s still sick. Apparently, they were booked into the cheapest room at the Shriv Nivas, one of the most expensive hotels in Udaipur. The hotel was so empty that they received a double upgrade to a suite with a semi-private swimming pool. They were sufficiently sick that they spent their three days in their room with room service and massages - and the lights out.

The emptiness of that hotel is telling - probably as much the result of 26/11, as the attacks on Mumbai are known, as the dramatic shift in the global economy. I know that one reason I had trouble finding restaurants is my decision to avoid high end hotels - and hence their restaurants because they are likely to be targets of further attacks. In view of how important tourism is for cities like Udaipur, this is not a good omen. If the only tourists who come are backpackers, the substantial economic multiplier effect of high end tourism will be missing, causing many people to lose jobs and income. I don’t know how you sustain a hotel like the Shriv Nivas with two tourists in residence.

The car that is supposed to meet me at the airport is not there so I take a pre-paid taxi. What is supposed to be a two hour drive turns out to be four hours along a fairly busy road.

The roads in Rajasthan are excellent - which doesn’t always mean American excellent, because local roads are too narrow, but surprisingly good everywhere. It is these roads that made trips like the one to Ranakapur possible as a day trip from Udaipur - a few short years ago, that would have taken days. Apparently, a Chief Minister decided five years ago that Rajasthan needed better roads and what I am experiencing is the result of his directive. This is impressive anywhere, but all the more so in India, where corruption and inefficiency is rife.

With only a few stops for direction, the driver manages to find the town I’m going to, Nawalgarh, After reaching the town, things become…difficult.

Nawalgarh is an old town with gateways and narrow winding streets through the bazaar. The roads start off paved, shift to unpaved and then deteriorate to huge puddles. The driver keeps stopping and asking for my hotel, is given directions, drives on a bit through the twisting streets, and asks for more directions. It feels as though we are driving in a circle. I am sure that he thinks I am insane. Finally, we see a sign for the hotel, follow it and, when we round the corner, there are perhaps 20 German tourists clustered in front of the hotel. This probably confuses the driver further - what on Earth are these foreigners doing in a God-forsaken place like this? - but he is happy to be at the end of the trip and see that there is an actual place that I’m going.

The Grand Haveli is a one year old restored merchant’s mansion in the traditional style of this town. Like the palace I stayed at in Dungarpur, it is a Heritage Hotel. Every surface, inside and out, is covered with frescos of Hindu religious scenes and floral decorations. There is a small outer courtyard, for the men to receive guests, and a large inner courtyard, which is the domain of the women, who were in purdah so they never left their homes. The haveli has three storeys, with guest rooms on the lower two floors, and terraces on the upper floors. I am given a suite on the ground floor and the first thing I notice is how cold it is inside. I immediately call for a heater. The room is large, with very high ceilings, so it doesn’t do much good, but it is something. Once again, I am happy to have my down sweater, which I need inside the room, not in the courtyard.

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Ecuador 2008

Flying from JFK to Atlanta, the pilot said that Atlanta is America’s largest airport. All I know is that we arrived in Terminal B, took the train to Terminal E, which is what my ticket said to do (I’d checked in the night before), and, after lunch and a wait of a few hours, was told to go to Terminal T, which is what Ed´s ticket said (he’d checked in that morning). We got back on the train and hung out at T7 for a while before we were told to go to T5, which is what the attendant at E1 had told Virtual Kid Brother before we were booted out of there. So... off to T5, where we are immediately told to go to A21. Back on the train - again. When we got to A21, the people whose flight was supposed to leave from there were sent to A31, just to keep everyone confused.

Now that we were, finally, at the right gate, we started hearing announcements about why the plane would be late. It was the first flight for that plane for the day, so they had to get it out of the hanger, drive it to the gate, and then there needed to be the MOST thorough search of every nook and cranny on the plane imaginable (for perspective, this is DELTA, the airline where people find stale pizza in the overhead bins). So the 5:30 departure becomes 6 and then 6:30 - and the plane is cleared in 20 minutes.

Once on the plane, but still on the ground, the attendant wheels some metal cart from the front to the back and back to the front. A little while later, the attendant tells us that this is a former TWA 757. When did TWA go out of business? Wasn’t it a LONG time ago? No matter, we wait. Until the pilot comes on and tells us that said metal cart ¨the garbage cart was the wrong part for this plane and they consulted God only knows who to determine that taking off without the garbage cart would not cause structural problems of the sort that, I can only assume, would make the plane fall out of the sky. Feeling every bit like I’m in Alice’s Restaurant, we take off 2 hours late. Well, we’re in one piece and flying on miles, so life is good.

Quito

Having arrived at our hotel at 1:30 AM, it was a no-brainer that Sunday was going to get off to a slow start. First to ¨pick up our paperwork for the Galapagos at ¨The Happy Gringo¨- our travel agent. It is bad enough having a travel agency named Happy Gringo but my morning speeds rapidly downhill when I learn that we’re supposed to wear blue buttons saying something or other so our shepard, the tour guide, can herd us around the Galapagos. OMG. I’m going to be a package tourist. I’m going to be sick. Will I be expected to follow someone carrying an upraised, and furled, blue umbrella. NOOOOOO!!!! And didn’t anyone tell these folks that you can’t put a pin into the high-tech shirts people travel with these days? Hello...

That being accomplished, we taxi to the old city of Quito, its colonial heart, which is up and down the hillsides, throbbing with tourists, locals and, by all accounts, more pickpockets than a normal person could imagine. I had raided my money belt wardrobe for this trip. I have cash and cards strapped to all sorts of odd body parts. It does not help when I see that the local guards are all wearing bulletproof vests. Happy holiday!!!

The colonial heart of Quito looks pretty much like the colonial heart of every other place I’ve been that has this particular organ. There are pretty streets with colorful, pastel painted houses. There is a large square, usually called the Plaza Independencia, where indigenous and mixed faces are seen. There are political speeches with the word ¨patrimony". There is music, in this case quite excellent music, an Afro Peruvian group who are on a CD I have. And then, of course, there are churches with the most amazing interiors - carved, plated, solid silver - they are always just astonishing. The most fabulous of the churches is Jesuit, built on top of the palace of the last Inca. Na na, na na, na na, said the Jesuits to the Incas, after the diseases they brought wiped most of the people out and allowed the Spanish to triumph (I’m reading 1491, at a friend’s suggestion, which is both perfect for a trip to colonial Quito and a nice break from The Dark Side, which is about a much more recent and scary facedown. Of course he told me to read only the parts about Ecuador – but there are no parts about Ecuador – not even a mention of the place in the index – but I read on, atypically complaint.). There is one church whose gargoyles are animals from the Galapagos and whose rose stained glass window has Ecuadorian flora. Now THAT is a nice change from the usual religious imagery. There is also a lot of Spanish Colonial religious art, which I scrupulously ignore the way that I always do. It is just depressing. Where are the pagans when you need them (hint: inside the church built on top of the Mayan / Inca holy place,  who knows what anyone assembled is actually praying to - and, in the end, does it really matter?)?

We taxi back to our inexpensive, highly rated and inexplicably freezing hotel and then out to an early dinner because, by all accounts, Quito is too dangerous for a late dinner. And then there’s the fact that it is Sunday and all the restaurants recommended in the guidebook close at 2PM. The man at the desk suggests a place in the tourist ghetto and says that Quito is as safe as NYC - we do point out that NY is very safe these days.

While looking for the restaurant, we see LOTS of private security guards in front of hotels, in front of restaurants - all with bulletproof vests. We see a group of 6 large men wearing Day-Glo orange jackets over their bulletproof vests get out a car. I guess the question is ¨how do you define safe?¨ Ed (aka VKB) points out that police in NY carry guns. I said that bulletproof vests were one up from guns. He chats a while about the machine guns that guys at Grand Central carry and I re-think, for the 37th time, the wisdom of living across the street from the Brooklyn Bridge.

The restaurant is Ecuadorian and I dare Ed to order cuy, the local delicacy (guinea pig). He said that if I didn’t tell him, he’d probably just eat it until I point to the photo on the menu and show him the four little feet. Even if it does taste like chicken, he’s not feeling adventurous. We do, however, eat various dishes with corn but it is really maize, which is sort of like corn but completely different from corn. It is not sweet and is usually ground into flour. Here, it is steamed, I’d guess, and sort of tastes like steamed popcorn. The addition of fried pork tidbits improves it immeasurably.

We taxi back to our hotel and are inside by 8PM, the time most Romans are thinking about getting dressed for dinner and the Spanish are finishing lunch. It was a wild, risky night - we caught a cab on the street instead of calling for one. And now I am writing my blog on a computer with a Spanish keyboard. That means that every key used to punctuate anything is in the wrong place and I need instruction before I can make that most foundational of 21st century symbols @. Oh, the trials I endure to bring you, dear readers, the news of my wanderings.

I want to insert the cartoon symbol for curses here, and then say it is STILL only 9:11 PM. But where the hell are the symbols I need? The question mark is above the comma, which is just to the right of the zero. And next to that is, of course, ¿ which is the question turned on its head and the way anyone who writes Spanish signals their intention to ask a question. It is sort of... hmm... maybe they’re not going to get that this is a question. Maybe the fact that the sentence ends with ? isn’t enough of a hint. So why not START with a ¿ and then they really, really can’t miss it.

Or maybe I’m just cranky because I’ve been speaking Spanish for 24 hours, 45 years after I failed the NYS Regents examination. It is disconcerting to realize that my traveling companion VKB wasn’t even born when I was flunking my Spanish Regents. Yo no se.

Quito Quito (Also known as ¨Day 2")

Monday, a weekday, which means that we started the day at the high-end craft shops in the New City The most famous one had only things from Ecuador but another one had amazing crafts from across Latin America. Both were several levels above standard ¨tourist¨ souvenirs. There were baskets from Panama that were so fine it was as if they were woven with thread - but they weren’t - and at $100 for a 4 inch tall masterpiece, they were staying in the shop. To my surprise, they had a large collection of 40 - 50 year old Bolivian belts, so I passed a pleasant hour obsessing over which to buy.  Need I state the obvious: every high-end shop has a locked door and a security guard outside? Still, we feel safe, but cautious.

In one of the shops we see a sign that, as of September 1, 2008 travelers cheques are invalid in Ecuador. Period. Atypically, I’d brought some, not being sure of the ATM cash advance situation. Now they are useless. I don’t really understand how banking works here. To pay for the boat I had to do a wire transfer to a bank in Miami. I couldn’t pay with a credit card and Paypal meant a 4% fee, which is not inexpensive for $1,500 boat tickets.

Shopping done, we taxied back to the Old City to check out the churches that were closed yesterday. Some were closed today - but we did go back to the most amazing church in the city: La Compania. As is the case in most of the churches, photography is not allowed but it is just beyond words.  Gold EVERYWHERE - the altar, the ceiling, the columns. Everything. And, below the gold, for the first few feet along the walls, silver. Probably solid silver while the gold is probably leaf or cladding. I don’t understand why it isn’t a specific World Heritage Site because it is easily one of the most beautiful buildings I’ve ever seen and, when you’ve been as many places as I have, that’s saying a lot.

During lunch, I eavesdrop on a local man’s conversation with a European. The Ecuadorian has been to most of Asia and said that, if he had brought back and Asian wife (apparently, all Asians are called Chinese by Ecuadorians), everyone would have asked him why he brought back an ugly woman.  The Ecuadorians clearly prefer curves and find the slight Asian body unattractive. Anyone want to tell that to men in Manhattan???

Since the museums I wanted to go to are closed on Monday, we taxied to a suburb, Guapulo, a colonial town described as bohemian and worthwhile. The taxi driver said that there was a fiesta and, along the road, we saw children dressed as though for Halloween, but with a few differences. One was that they were carrying wooden poles between then from which dangled bottles of soda and alcohol. Since the fiesta is in front of the church, you can’t help but wonder, this being South America, exactly which god they’re praying to - something monotheistic or something... earlier. My bet is earlier, location not withstanding. Unfortunately, the church was closed, the town not at all special and the fiesta not until the evening. Still, I did get photos of a few people in costume, one of whom was a man wearing a woman’s mask. I was joking with him as I shot, complimenting him on his beauty. The young girl in the guerilla suit minus the head was proud to be told she looked strong.

Yesterday was sunny and beautiful. Today is cloudy and cool. Only tourist cafes have outdoor seating and today those have their outdoor heaters on. Still, we are glad that there were only a few sprinkles of rain. We’d been watching the weather on-line and it said that every day was rainy.

Back to the tourist ghetto to find a SIM chip for my GSM phone, which I buy - and then it dawns on me: and how, exactly, do I get on line from the Galapagos? After all, I need to call an ISP. The woman tells me that I need to buy an Internet ticket, readily available in any Internet shop (These are plentiful and are used to go on-line in countries where computers are prohibitively expensive and also the place to make dirt cheap ¨voice over IP¨ international telephone calls.). After trying several shops, whose owners look at us blankly, we’re directed to a shop back three blocks from where we came. Which, of course, may or may not have the cards. So now I’ve got an activated SIM with $4 in calls (at 5 cents/minute) - but no way to get on-line. Maybe at the airport. Perhaps more importantly, this errand told me how Ecuador functions TODAY, not in some distant historical past.

Tonight will be another early evening - dinner at the hotel, because going out is such a hassle.

Galapagos

Up at 6:30 AM to be at the airport at 8 to meet the woman who arranges whatever it is that tour people arrange for tourists. Find her eventually, get checked in and await our 9:40 AM flight – which leaves at 11. This is one of the few times on a vacation that it actually matters when I get somewhere. There is a BOAT waiting and, with it, the Galapagos! And we're late. The Mad Hatter had nothing on us. Late, late, late!

But then we're there, 5 of us, to meet the 9 on board: Irish, British, South African, Spanish, Canadian and Japanese. The boat, named the Galapagos Voyager, is also, somehow, the Montserrat II, which is what it said on-line but it also said that the boat was a year old, so none of this makes any sense. Fortunately, I'd read good reviews of this boat, a rarity since there is surprisingly few reviews on-line, which makes planning a trip atypically difficult in this age of endless information.

A dinghy takes you to the boat. It seats 8, plus the crew and wearing a life preserver is mandatory. The dock is in Puerto Ayora, a little town of the type generally described as at, ahem, “the ass end of nowhere.” I've been in towns like this before – Merzouga in Morocco which backs up to the start of the sand dune Sahara, reachable only across miles of trackless piste. You wonder about people who live their lives in these towns, what their lives are like, how they deal with the reality of being no where and going no where. The town in the Galapagos has several cheap hotels, some bars and souvenir shops and a bay filled with fishing boats. It is a place for young backpackers to hang out, drinking cheap beer and having adventures, or for someone older to drop out, write their novel and discover their place in the world.

The boat is 92 feet long, with 8 cabins for passengers. We have a cabin on the main deck. It is reasonably roomy but we'll need to figure out how to live in the space with two wheelies. After a brief safety introduction, which involves explanation of all the types of safety equipment on board, including night flares, day flares, orange water gel, flashlights that flash SOS (which, we learn, means Save Our Souls, and not Save Our Ships, and was the distress call sent by the Titanic. I had already been thinking of the Titanic and now, in the deep and twisted resources of my mind, Celine Dion's song soared). This was not the expected introductory talk.

Tortuga Bay, Santa Cruz

At 3PM we went off to see sea lions and iguanas and whatever other fauna this island deigned to bestow. It immediately became clear what a failure we would be as hunters, because we could barely find an animal even with the guide telling us it was there. There were only a couple of iguanas but lots and lots of sea lions. There are large males, which bark constantly, lion families: father, wife, baby, all atop each other, sleeping in the sand. The pups make a noise somewhere between a bark and a baa. They scurry around the sand with surprising speed. Their mothers are in the water, on the land. We sit, entranced, watching the animals sleep. Now and then a bird stops by and I need to remind myself that the little bird is not just a sparrow and the other bird not just a seagull, but something very special.

After an hour of snorkeling, back to town for cheap sunset beers and a stroll on the pier – which is crawling with crabs. Huge, red monsters, tiny black ones hiding on the rocks and, of course, more sea lions, hanging out with the crabs, on the steps to the landing dock, any 'ole place they want. With an overcast sky and a rainbow, you can only wear a big smile on your face. Your life is very, very far away.

After dinner, the sever tells us that there is a sea lion on the back of the boat – just hanging out on the stern. A few minutes later, a baby scoots up into the dingy, lies there for 5 minutes and then slips back into the sea. Momma hangs out for a while longer and then everyone turns in by 9PM. Maybe some rough seas tonight. Two nights ago it got so rough that people had to hang on to their bunks, which is something friends had also experienced. Apparently, it gets rough when they cut the engine at around 10:30 and you're in open water. Oh joy. Oh Dramamine...

Baltra

A late start – breakfast at 7:30. The boat is docked for refueling. We see our sister ship, Montserrat 1, and the mammoth Galapagos Explorer, which sleeps 100. The people on my boat are more independent and we all turn up our noses at the thought of a “cruise ship.”

The beach, like the one we were on yesterday, and most of the beaches we will see, is white coral, here, ground to a fine powder. The rocks are alive with the brilliant red crabs and my immediate reactions are “beauty” and “lunch.” Alas.

There is not much wildlife on the island. We see the nests of giant tortoises, which are large depressions in the sand. They are filled with about 100 eggs each, only 5% of which will survive the land and sea predators to adulthood. Turtles grow very slowly, perhaps a centimeter a year, so the big ones are often 50 or more years old. And, to state the obvious, turtles aren't penguins so no lifetime mating here. The female, larger than the men, shacks up with several each mating season. After laying her eggs, she departs to waters where the varieties of seafood she eats are plentiful and only years later, when she is fat and ready to spawn, does she return to the Galapagos to breed, although not necessarily to the same island.

There are no flamingos, only a few small iguana standing completely still by a pond, and the flora are not terribly interesting, although the beach is beautiful, although crowded with tourists. There are only a few types of plants, because they need to survive on seawater. The seeds float to the island, hitching a ride on an ocean current, something I didn't know seeds could do.

Black Turtle Cove

The afternoon was spent on the dingy, mostly with the engine off, searching for black turtles and sharks a mangrove inlet. It is beautiful – clear sky, high clouds, bright blue water and us in our day-glo orange life vests, ugly hats, seated on the sides of the boat while the staff pilot silently. We see a shark – perhaps 2 feet long – and a pelican, some blue boobies which have the most beautiful colored powder blue feet, tiny yellow birds the size of canaries, which can be mistaken for the odd yellow leaf, and then turtles, poking their heads up to breathe, gliding silently below the water, coming from every direction. The guide tells us that the turtles can stay underwater for 7 – 8 hours when they are at rest but must come up for air every few minutes when moving. Once again, I am reminded of how many people have spent their lives studying these animals – all the people who count the turtle eggs and tag the turtles (3,000 to date) so they can ensure that the species is safe and to learn the secrets that these creatures cannot speak.

The mangrove swamps are beautiful but the dinghies uncomfortable, with us seated butt to butt on the inflated sides. We've got all variety of cameras and all you hear are the beeps each makes as it comes to life or stores a photo.

I don't know how many animals we're supposed to see – we've seen a lot of sea lions, crabs and turtles, but not much else – which I hope is due to the season and not a more sinister cause. The tiny island with Galapagos penguins only allows a few ships in, but still the penguins are threatened by a parasite of unknown origin. If they cannot find the source, the penguins’ survival is at risk. This is happening despite the mandatory spraying of commercial planes and boats. What does it say about our world that the NY Times not only featured the story on its front page but also worried mightily in an editorial? Our world, our world, what are we doing to the innocents of the world?

We returned to the boat to find a sea lion hanging out on the loading dock, enjoying the human spectacle as well as the convenient perch. The humans returned the favor, gathering around and photographing until the lion, bored, dove into the sea. But when one of the guests went swimming off the boat, the lion came back to play. The humans, after a shower, repaired to the mid-deck, where we hung out on blue striped lounges while being rocked gently by the current. It is so beautiful up here that I could almost forgo the island visits but they give us ample time to recline.

En route to dinner, we pass a pelican in the lifeboat. Two more arrive: one for each lifeboat and one on the back, keeping us company as we dine. “Tame” doesn't begin to define these creatures.

Genovesa

Last night, I discovered that I was but a hinge in the great fulcrum of life – as the boat rocked up and back all night, en route to Genovesa, my side-sleeping body dipped and swerved. Even so, breakfast at 7 or you don't eat. Since showering on a wildly rocking boat was... adventurous... folks trickled in late.

While we spend little time in our cabin, it is astonishing how quickly you get used to a very small space. There's a closet that you're reluctant to use at first but which becomes indispensable after your wheelie moves across the floor on the first night. Then you discover the large drawers built under your mattress, which gives you all the space you need. Sort of. But it is much better than it seemed on Day 1 and not at all a problem for 4 nights.

As an island, Genovesa is truly “for the birds” - it is filled with them. Red-footed bobbies, with very short legs, large red feet that wrap around tree branches and pale blue beaks. Tiny Vampire Finches who dine on boobie blood. There are birds in the nest, birds on the rocks, birds overhead, scoring a direct hit and anointing all of us with Galapagos bird guano. The birds are nesting, with one or two eggs, or courting or just diving for fish, flying in the air currents and doing whatever birds do in life. There are also furry sea seals on the rocks and sharks and rays in the incredibly clear waters below.

During the last “El Nino” the islands were almost depopulated, which parallels part of the explanation for the demise of various Native American civilizations, although those were “Mega Ninos.” Still, as protected as these islands are, there are changes: frogs accidentally introduced from the cargo hold of a ship, bugs eating a plant that may require different bugs to restore the balance. Because, at the end of the day, balance is what nature is about: getting the conditions right to breed, to survive to adulthood, to feed – and many small things can disrupt these key life-cycle events.

The walks today are over broken volcanic rock and so are the most challenging of the trip. Not only do you need to climb or walk over uneven terrain but the penalty for falling against coarse jagged rocks is unimaginable. I'd brought a hiking pole for days like today and am glad of it – this afternoon, I am at the limits of my very minimal hiking ability.

The seals are so well hidden on ledges in the jagged cliffs that it takes time to see them, even when the guide points them out. But when we get up the cliff, on to the island, it is littered with birds. There are thousands of them: alone, in pairs, feeding their young, sitting on their eggs, sleeping or just standing there. And you can, and do, walk within a few feet of them without them moving. It is as though they know that they are protected, making them free to ignore you. Most are sea birds, because the trip from the mainland is long and the oil on seabirds feathers allows the to rest in the water. Thousands of years ago, there were islands 400 km east of the Galapagos, which may have served as a way station for the animals who have ended up here.

The cliffs surrounding the beach are covered with white graffiti. While we are told that it pre-dates the establishment of the wildlife preserve, I don't believe it. There are small boats, which are impossible to patrol. On the most touristed islands you see human debris: a soda bottle, whatever. It can only make you sad to see how uncaring people can be.

In some areas, the birds stand out from the landscape. In others, they blend in so well that I will need to search my photos to find what is in them and maybe draw arrows to various creatures.

Even though the specifics are very different, I am surprised by how quickly we get jaded by new sites. The first sea lions caused every camera to be clicked on – now, we expect more. Ditto the birds. Once we've seen a number of a species, we grow greedy for something different and dismissive of yesterday's prize.

The site itself is spectacular: up 50 feet above the Pacific, looking out into clear waters. The day starts and ends overcast but clears in mid-morning and the weather is comfortable for walking.

Primate Perverts: Hot Turtle Sex!

My blogging was just interrupted by a cry of “sea turtles mating” so we all ran to the blow to watch two of them “having a go at it” about 100 yards away from the boat. Good voyeurs, folks came equipped with binoculars and 18X telephoto lenses to play turtle pervert. One of the women mentions that she has a photo of two birds “making love” and we're all jealous.

Evening on Board

The sunset meets all tropical vacation expectations and wives nag husbands to just shut up and take a snappie. There is a reason that sunset shots are such a cliché.

At 6:30, we gather in the lounge to hear about the next day's itinerary, and so it has come to pass that at 8:30 PM, our new Spanish friends and us have retired to our rooms to shower and go to bed – because we need to be on deck at 6:15 AM... to look at penguins. Not a lot of penguins. Maybe, if we're lucky, and they haven't left for work yet, 15 penguins. Thus, we find ourselves in our rooms, which are rolling and heaving mightily as the ship steams towards tomorrow's destination, planning to take showers, because there is no way, on earth, we are getting up early enough to take them in the morning.

If you've been paying attention, dear reader, you might recall that I began today's adventures in a shower with a rolling, heaving floor (and scalding hot water) – not an experience that I planned to repeat again any time soon, being happy to have survived it without a concussion. But now I find that I must do it – again – when I am barely able to walk to the other end of this very small cabin without grabbing onto something. My other option, of course, is to gently marinate in the daily applications of suntan lotion, salt water and bug juice, which is too unappealing for words.

After the dawn boat ride, at which we've already been warned not to use flash, we're back to the boat for breakfast that off again to another island, whose details are a bit vague to me. Then back again, to do I'm not sure what, and then to a different island to climb UP 360 steps to see how the world looks from the top and then DOWN 360 stops, back to the jetty.

I'm not going. I long ago realized that there is NOTHING I want to see that involves climbing large numbers of generally incredibly tiny circular stairs so I can see the tops of things. If there's an elevator, I'll think about, but even then I'm rarely enthusiastic. But to be expected to walk up and down... WHY???

Penguin Peeping: Sullivan Bay, Santiago


The alarm went off at the un-godly hour of 5:45 AM after a riotous night. I forced myself to sleep on my back, which was the only comfortable position. This was the first time that waking up to pee became a life threatening experience.

At 6:15, we all assembled, got into the dinghies and motored over to see... three penguins, perched on a rock! Galapagos penguins are the smallest penguin species and these looked – and walked – like ducks. With the engine off, we were able to get astonishingly close to them – perhaps 6 feet, which made for great photos. We were all happy as kids at the zoo, feeling our sleep sacrifice worth it. Bobbing around in our dinghy, I feel again like an alien invader observing the world – the image of Wall-E's extraterrestrial girlfriend comes to mind. Then we motored along the coast covered with those bright red crabs and pelicans and then large starfish beneath the clear water. A lot of starfish, and then a school of small fish, swimming above them. We then saw a ray and a shark, so we had more creatures to cross off our scorecards.

Back to the boat for breakfast and off again, to an island that is virtually devoid of life, the result of a lava flow 100 years ago – except for the 3 penguins standing there to greet us. There is much muttering and talk of rebellion – if the buggers were around at 8AM, why on earth did they get us out of bed at 6? They guide swears that they're not supposed to be there. Maybe a hither-to unknown penguin national holiday? 

We also see a marine iguana.

The island is covered in black, ridged and cracked lava, which is a challenge to walk on. Again I'm glad I brought a hiking pole. Here and there tiny plants are sprouting through cracks in the rock, and we see a good-sized cactus, and are told that there are some insects, but that is about it. This is how all the islands started, so, in time, life will come but for now there is only a mass of solid lava.

People used to live on the island and brought goats for their use. Lacking natural predators, the goats escaped and bred, until there were 250,000 of them. This was about 8 years ago. The national park started a program to exterminate the goats, which involved shooting them from helicopters and then importing and training hunting dogs to work with hunters to clear the land. The animals that were killed were left to rot because the cost of bringing the meat to market was prohibitive, a problem well known by rural farmers. The national park staff is actively involved in managing the Galapagos but it is clearly an on-going process.

We return to the boat and, 30 minutes later, the gang goes off to climb the 360 steps. There are eight boats anchored where we are so I guess that, unlike Genovesa, these islands are on more itineraries. The huge Galapagos Explorer is there, but the rest are much smaller boats, the size of a fishing boat or something with 4 cabins. I'm glad we're on our boat – it is really the perfect size. The guide promises that it will be an easy climb, with lots of places to rest, but I'm not buying it. Ed parrots what Williams has said and, when I ask how much time is budgeted for the ascent and descent, am told 1 hour. Yeah, real leisurely! I am on a lounge chair on the boat while they are stepping. Works for me!

When we finished sightseeing, it was a 7-hour journey to our final port. Things started out well enough – lying on the deck chairs like so many sea lions, reading, sleeping and reading some more in companiable silence. Then folks started to get queasy and retired to their cabins. The farewell drink and dinner were sparsely populated: 4 of us either ate or ate lightly.

After dinner, we had a chance to go to town! Bright lights, not so big city, but TOWN! So we dinghied off to have a drink and watch the young female tourist come on to the hot waiter and we thought of nothing more than the mating behavior of the birds we'd been watching so intently – chest puffed out, mating dance.

By 10:30 we were back at the dock for our ride to the boat because they would collect our luggage at 6:15 so it would be another early morning.

Otavalo


There is probably something more depressing than returning from 5 days in paradise, checking into an amazing “casita” in the mountains above Otavalo, catching up on the news (Sarah Pallin, Lehman Brothers and Merrill Lynch going belly up) and listening, after dinner, after the fire and after conversation has died, to the “Sixties Mix” the hotel owner left by the stereo - but I'll need to think long and hard about what it might be. To listen to the optimism, and naiveté, of our generation after 4 nights of political dinner conversations with a very intelligent and well-read Spaniard, after having finished “The Dark Side,” the story of how America became a country that tortures people, is simply flat out depressing.

How did we, this huge demographic bump, take the proud country we inherited and turn it into a place riven by culture conflicts so large that creationism is “on the table,” that we're so selfish and greedy that we have not only spent ourselves and our country into endless debt but also taken our brightest children and sent them to work on Wall Street, hatching things like collateralized sub-prime mortgages and being astonishingly well paid and highly regarded for it? We may have burned the flag in the 60's – but despite it all, despite Vietnam, we were proud to be Americans, to have the freedom to burn the flag - and we were looked at as examples of what to strive for when we traveled abroad.

We're not that now – at least I'm not – I'm so deeply ashamed about an America that I can no longer recognize as my own has become that I just don't know what to do with it. Work until retirement and leave? To go where? It isn't as though the rest of the world is in markedly better shape. But at least they're just exhibiting routine incompetence. But torture, ignorance and Darwinian capitalism as values? This can't be my country.

Now, we fight over old ideas and failed solutions and the best and the brightest are too busy making money to care. And, no, I don't think Obama is the answer – and not thinking that anyone is really looking for new models is the scariest thing of all.

O.K. Obviously a hard re-entry into the 21st Century. Maybe writing that will lift my mood because, on a material level, things are wonderful. We left the ship at 6:30 A.M., took the dinghy to the dock, took a bus, a ferry, another bus, a plane that stopped and then a taxi that went 120 KM on winding mountain roads to an absolutely incredible place.

Otavalo is in northern Ecuador, close to the Columbian border. It is filled with spectacular volcanic mountains, lakes, farms and proud indigenous people who have grown prosperous from the quality of their textiles. It is the small city at the center of this region, which has many “craft villages.” The town itself is touristy because of its textile market. Knowing that small cities in the developing world generally lack charm, I found a hotel on 40 acres, 5 miles up the mountain, the last bit on rutted roads not suited for taxis.

When we arrived, welcomed by the ex-hippy with a long, graying Andean braid, some friendly dogs and the most astonishing accommodations we could imagine. Our 'casita” has 2 bedrooms, a kitchen, living room with cast iron stove – and a magnificent view of the local volcano. This place is easily 2000 square feet, sleeps 6 – and costs, I think, $120 a night, including two meals, two hours of horse back riding a day – and llamas to pet. So why I have I worked myself into such a funk? Dunno. The NY Times and nostalgic music are probably a lethal brew.

Weavers & Markets

Today we went to visit a master weaver who uses the back-strap loom, which pre-dates Columbus. The weaver sits on the floor, straps a wide leather brace behind his back to which the warp threads are attached.

This weaver washes, cards, spins and dyes his own wool, using natural dyes he makes himself. Except for hot pink, which is a commercial dye and is a marker when determining the age of 19th and 20th Century textiles. He no longer weaves the complex pieces he is capable of because no one will pay for them. Here, again, is the end of a weaving tradition of great age – he learned from his father, who learned from his father... but Miguel's son lives in the States and, while he deals in textiles, does not weave.

He sells textiles he has woven and pieces woven by members of his extended family. I bought a beautiful wool and cotton bed cover woven in a pattern typical of this area.

We spoke at some length  (in Spanish!), and I discovered that he will be in NY for an exhibition at the end of March – and not his first in NY or the US. I invited him to visit and to see my collection, which pleased him greatly. I hope he calls – it should be a very interesting evening.

We then drove to another weaver, whose work decorates the hotel we're at. He is a noted weaver on the handloom but has the quality and complexity of his work declined since the owner of the hotel bought his pieces 20 years ago. All the designs are so much simpler and hence much less expensive. Ed bought one of the nicer pieces and I bought one of two he wove on a back-strap loom – which his wife said, “is not commercial.” It is probably as fine a quality as anything being made today.

From there we went to what turned out to be a bird zoo, with condors, vultures, hawks and owls. After the Galapagos, seeing birds in cages or tethered to a perch seems very unjust.

We spent the afternoon at the large tourist market in town. As expected, the quality of the things there was horrible. The versions of the bed cover I'd bought were either acrylic or, allegedly, cotton. The pattern was much more poorly executed and the colors garish. Considering that these cost $18 and mine $38, the difference is trivial. Using the “Law of 10” my bed cover would easily sell for $380 in the States

Today is a festival – the drinking of chicha, the fermented brew that starts off as a drink and ends up like beer. These days, everywhere but in Amazonas, the “starter” for the fermentation is a small piece of spoiled fruit – no more chewing and then spitting it back into the bowl. And 7 grains are used, plus fruit. Traditionally, chicha is made just before the planting of the new corn crop begins, using what is left over from the prior harvest. And, true to the past, the planting will be next week.

We missed the parade but saw some of the music in the Plaza Mayor, which was filled with indigenous people, as is all of Otavalo. There were some great contrasts: a young man in perfect, of the moment, hip-hop attire standing with a woman in traditional dress. A young woman in traditional dress who was either photographing or videoing the Andean band on her cell phone. Change comes.

Tomorrow will be our last day, with our flight home leaving Quito at 11PM. We will go to a nearby town, famous for its leatherwork. Ten years ago, this town was in decline but a progressive government, including an indigenous mayor and investment from Europe, has turned it into a model.

At dinner, we hit the Net and read about the continuing disaster that is Wall Street. It is beyond comprehension. One can only wonder – and worry – where it will end. Such is the problem of Internet access and the NY Times on-line when on vacation.

Craft Villages

We taxied to the village famous for leather production – and, as I expected, found nothing of interest. Leatherworking is a relatively new craft, introduced about 150 years ago, and now that the Chinese have developed technology to make even the cheapest leather feel soft, the local products are stiff to the touch. And unfashionable.

The village is interesting. The streets and sidewalks are being repaved and, development is starting on a gringo retirement community. I don’t get it – I realize that life in Ecuador is cheap, but you’re in the middle of no where. And to be elderly with no real medical care???

We taxi to a tiny craft town – this time, woodworking. Furniture and kitsch. Who buys all this stuff? I realize that it is for export, but, still… The only thing I want, but realize would be a hassle to bring home, are canes whose tops are Galapagos animals. I so wanted the frog. Or the iguana. Sigh.

Then, unexpectedly, we come upon a procession. The townspeople are carrying either the local saint, or “Maria” back to the church. There are two marching bands and rockets being fired. Most unusually, in the front, women are carrying the statue on their shoulders. They are indigenous and women do all the hard work in the developing world, but this is something I’ve never seen.

The street outside of the church is mobbed, with people witnessing the spectacle as well as those shopping at the street market that is filled with cheap modern goods (the average wage in Ecuador is $200 a month). We visit the church, which is great: small, neon lettering across the ceiling and paintings that call to mind Hieronymus Bosch.  Outside the side door, women are clustered at a rocky spring, obtaining holy water, I assume. I wonder what the spring really symbolizes since I don’t think Christianity has anything to do with springs.

The Real Deal

We have lengthy chats with the owner of the hotel whose views of things we’ve read about are revealing. He says that there was a crime wave in 2006, which was largely inside jobs at banks, and the reason there are so many security guards is to employ the rural poor who have migrated to the city. He dismisses the bulletproof vests out of hand. Frank does not deny that crime exists in Ecuador, and he is worried about the next generation, but he does not think that it is anywhere as bad as the guidebooks and Websites say. Having lived in New York during the 1970s, when everyone was terrified to come, I’m guessing that he may be right. Once you get away from all the security visuals, Ecuador doesn’t FEEL threatening – but, then, as a tourist, it can be hard to read places. In Mexico City, years ago, my taxi driver warned me about the center of town, in broad daylight, in front of a major museum. Who knows?

Ecuador has a socialist president - who is busy supporting the domestic auto industry. This has resulted in all sorts of odd things, like no motor cycles or scooters, banning used cars and cars over 10 years old - and subsidizing gas. I guess that if every family is dysfunctional differently, every country is corrupt differently. 

We are virtually the only tourists in Otavalo, which is a “weekend town” for tourists who come for the market. Most of the tourists who come are European. I suspect that, aside from the American economic problems and inability to take real vacations, one reason that tourism is down is that the quality of the crafts has declined significantly over the past two or three decades. The textiles in the hotel are no where to be found, and the other crafts are equally boring, so why bother coming? 

Goin’ Home

The sane, careful taxi driver we’ve been using picks us up at 7PM for the two hour drive to the airport. We rarely top 80km a mile, which is just fine.

The Pan American Highway is the main north – south road in South America and is one lane in each direction. Because of all the mountains, it curves, making it difficult to pass the many slow moving trucks. But, as in most parts of the developing world, passing is more cooperative than in the US. The driver signals with flashing headlights, the trucker often moves to the right side of the lane so the guy in the back can pass despite the blind-curve double line.

The airport is just plain strange. There’s a $40.80 departure tax, which is probably the highest I’ve seen. Then we go through security, where they take my little folding scissors. Which makes me wonder: why can I always take little scissors OUT of the US but have them taken away from me when I’m flying INTO the US? This has happened at least 4 times. I bring the cheapest possible scissors – these cost perhaps $3 – but it just seems like a waste.

After we get through security, I buy us bottles of water and proceed to the gate. Where there’s another security checkpoint.

At this checkpoint, they have no idea what they’re doing. First, the water is out – my protest that we just bought it means nothing. Then the screener tells me to throw out the plastic bag with all my liquids and gels “not allowed.” I protest, loudly, in Spanish that, this IS allowed all over the world. Fortunately, a supervisor comes over and lets me bring in my make-up and meds. Tossing that would be VERY expensive.

Since there is no bathroom or water fountain, I leave at some point and pick up the bottled water from the guard’s desk, to take a swig and to empty it in the bathroom. I have to go back through security to return to my seat and, this time, they tell me that even the empty container is illegal. This makes no sense. And then, when I sit down, I see that the 4 American backpackers still have their HUGE Nagaline water bottles – and the Ecuadorian mother has a full bottle of Sprite!

The plane leaves a half hour late, which we expected, and is full, which we didn’t.  I can’t sleep sitting up so I just sit there with my eyes closed until they awaken us for breakfast – at 4AM. I guess there is some rule that requires them to serve a meal on a flight over 4 hours, but to wake people up 3 ½ hours into a 5 hour flight??? In any case, the kosher meal we ordered is unpeeled fruit, which is a major no-no, so I take the ham and eggs. So much for orthodoxy.

In Atlanta, we go to our terminal – which is, of course, then changed, so tired and half asleep we take the train to the right place. We get on the plane, taxi onto the runway, are #2 for takeoff – when they find that the engine is leaking. Back to the gate. A wait for a diagnosis and repair time estimate. The road warriors have their corporate travel staff on speed-dial and are madly checking their options. Then the captain comes on and tells us: SIX HOURS to fix the plane. We get off, to be re-booked onto other flights (there is one an hour). But, interestingly, Delta is not canceling the flight. Which screws the road warriors because, without a cancellation, they need to pay for a new ticket if they want to pick the next flight out.

At 1PM we land. So what if we were due in at 9:30 AM? I settle into the stinky yellow cab, glad to be home. 

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Vietnam 2008

It takes about a day to learn how to cross a street in Vietnam, maybe more if you're not a Brooklyn street kid who started to jaywalk about the time she learned the difference between red and green. I don't know how long it takes to get comfortable crossing streets in Vietnam, or doing the myriad of things in the street that are the norm here - probably never, if you're going for longevity.

Vietnamese sidewalks are not a pedestrian's friend. They are badly paved, narrow places of business. Shop wares or a street restaurant take up half the available turf. The rest has been turned into parking lots for motorcycles, complete with attendants and, I assume, payment. Sometimes there isn't room for anything but the bikes, which stretch from curb almost to wall. There's a dashed white line down the center of streets in the Old City, probably a bureaucrat's scheme for bringing order to the sidewalks. It failed.

Even though the sidewalks aren't an option, decades of habit force you up onto them whenever a clear patch emerges. But it rarely lasts more than 10 feet and then you're stepping over the drainage ditch along the curb to assume your rightful place in the street, along with an endless, relentless swarm of motor bikes.

You walk along in much the same way they drive: "any which way." Maybe with the traffic, maybe against it. Maybe unsure, because the traffic is going in several directions at once, including up little metal moat-spanning ramps onto the sidewalk.

The trick to crossing a street in the face of an endless flow is "just do it." Well, not quite - wait for a lessening and plunge in, walking steadily until you reach the other curb. Some people hold their hand out, as though parting the waters, signaling their seriousness. It is amazing how people respect hand signals. Open a passenger side window, make "I've gotta get over to the right" hand signals and most people will let you through. In any case, the trick is not to falter, because the driver is figuring out how to get around you so your movements need to be predictable. I try to make eye contact with the driver, on the theory that they're less likely to kill you that way. Unless they had a bad day at the office.

White-painted crosswalks aren't honored. They aren't even taken as a suggestion, the way they are in New York. They're just more white lines, like those mysterious dashes on the sidewalks.

Traffic lights, where they exist, are an entirely different matter. Sometimes. In the new part of Hanoi, they seem to cause traffic to stop. Or rather, some of the traffic. Maybe they have a "right turn on red" rule. Or maybe all of Hanoi is one intersection like the one on Canal Street near Church, where you think you have the light but there's another flow of traffic you weren't aware of and that is as out to get you as any crazed Steven King car. Still, traffic lights are... helpful. Well, maybe less so in the Old City, where they're ignored.

Why am I so tired?
The flight is 20 hours of air time, plus 4 on the ground. I came up with a combination of drugs that kept me asleep most of the time, an accomplishment of which I was very proud. Until I realized that we were landing at 10:45 PM, not AM, which meant that I was supposed to go straight from the airport - to bed. And that I didn't have a day and a half before I left for the mountains - I had 20 hours.

After a day of walking and napping, I took an over-night train to Lao Cai, the railhead 300 meters from the Chinese border. Upon arrival, I scambled to find a place to pee - I hate squat toilets at any time but never more than at 6:30 AM - and then found my guide. After a quick breakfast, we were in the van, driving 100 km to a tribal market - 2.5 hours. Two hours later, back we go to Lao Cai and from thence another 40km to Sapa, the main tourist town. A night's sleep, up at 6:30 and an 80km, 2 hour drive in the other direction, then back to Sapa - and 40km on to Lao Cai, where I wait 5 hours to catch the 8PM night train back to Hanoi. Arrive at 4AM, go to my hotel, check in, go to sleep and then up to sightsee. I have been in Vietnam for 2.5 days.

Meet the Montenegards
When I arrived in Lao Cai, my guide tried to talk me out of going to the market I had traveled half the world to see. He told me that the tribes would be the same as those that would be at the larger, Sunday, market, so why not spend the day in Sapa (doing what was unclear). I told him that I knew this and had tried to get the travel agent to agree to a Sunday trip to a market west of Sapa that was frequented by different tribes. Mumbling something about extra money, he said we might be able to work something out. 30 minutes later, as we were discussing the state of the road, he mentioned that none of the tourists from Sapa were able to get to last Sunday's market as the road was closed. Another notch down in your tip, I thought.

The road was every reason why, when friends ask me if I rent a self-drive car, I look at them as if they were insane. It goes around mountains which, at their highest point, are about 2,500 meters. They are one lane wide in many places, have no side rails, and often aren't paved. Because it has been raining and the government is working on widening the road, in places the mud is so bad that you spin out or, as happened in one memorable spot, end up behind a large truck that is stuck in the mud, to the point that it needed to be pushed up the mountain by a tractor. All the other vans, trucks and motos then had to untangle themselves in an area where the mud was deeper than the road was wide.

And then there's the fog. Visibility of 5 feet is a generous estimate. You go in and out of it as you drive around the mountain, up to the heights and down to the valleys. The valleys generally are clear. But you can see the fog hanging on the side of the mountains and then you're in it, and stay in it for 30 minutes or more.
The driver is young and careful, but he must be exhausted at the end of each day. The van, which had been shiny clean, is so covered with mud that I need to jump clear of the step to get out. The people on motos have plastic bags over their shoes to protect them - I can't imagine what their clothing looks like by the end of the trip.

Perhaps because the roads are so bad, I've noticed that drivers in many parts of Asia cooperate on mountain roads in ways that are unimaginable in America. While the first time your car passes, say, a bus, on a blind mountain curve, your heart decides to visit your throat, eventually you realize that the bus is letting the car pass and, because speeds are relatively slow, it will let you pull back into lane if something is coming the other way. The driver does this by pulling up next to the truck, which will try to drive as far to the right as possible, or will toot its oddly mournful horn so the other driver knows they're there and plan to pass. I'm sure that there are lots of awful accidents anyway, but after a while, you realize that it is less dangerous than it looks. Still you wouldn't want to be a truck driver on these roads, which unimaginably hard and dangerous. Also, in cities, and probably on coastal roadways, all cooperative behavior disappears. It is you against a few million of your countrymen.

After 2.5 long hours, we get to Cau Cat. It is now 10AM, prime time for the market.

The main tribe are the Flower Hmong, one of many sub groups of the largest hill tribe in SE Asia. The three tribal "lineages" stretch from Hunan in southern China across Vietnam, Laos, Thailand and into Burma. In Vietnam alone there are 54 different tribes, each with identifiable costumes, jewelry, headdress (all the women cover their hair) and facial adornment. Many are sub tribes of larger tribes "Red Hmong" "Black Hmong" "White Trouser Hmong" which reflect a difference in their clothing - and a lack of imagination among the anthropologists who named them. While the Hmong are the largest, and the production of their embroidery, weaving and appliqué highly organized by what must be handwork factories. Everything they sell has the sameness of complex handiwork simplified and designed to sell in markets like these. You see it in Thailand, Laos and here in Vietnam. (You see it also in California and, I assume, Minnesota, where the Hmong who assisted American forces were re-settled as refugees after the war. A people with no written language who live in isolated villages high in the mountains, in communities of wooden long houses, suddenly finds itself coping with Public Assistance, Food Stamps and flush toilets). The French called all these groups simply "the Montenegards." They are the wild people in the jungle with Kurtz, up-river in Apocalypse Now.

The Flower Hmong are the most colorful of the tribes, whose clothing otherwise tends towards embroidered indigo. The Flowers go for color - finely stitched in very narrow rows and embroidered onto flowers. In the past, this was done by hand and made by the person wearing it. Today, the machine embroidered clothing is sold at the market and women gather to try on a new skirt or jacket, which may differ to conform to the requirements of the varying groups: more pink, more purple. They long ago switched to synthetic, aniline dyes so there are huge skeins of day-glo colored acrylic yarn waiting to be bought. Later, in Hanoi I bought some older textiles identified as Flower Hmong that were much less bright - I'll need to see what their costumes looked like 20 or more years ago.

The Can Cau market started as a horse market but then broadened to include pigs, vegetables, sugar cane and the sundries the tribal people need. It added a large tourist area, where low quality mass-produced handicrafts are sold. There are a fair number of tourists but the market clearly belongs to the Hmong.

By noon sellers are starting to close up and I'm ready to leave. En route, I see tour buses heading for Can Cau - they're coming from Sapa, which is appalling - the tour operators know when the market ends but probably feels it will face rebellion if it asks folks to be on the bus by 6:30 AM.

Sapa
Sapa is an old French Vietnamese Hill Station - a place people went to escape the heat and humidity of the lowlands and to walk in clean mountain air. As the train to Lao Cai, the nearest station, improve and as roads were cleared, tribal tourism started to take hold about 10 years ago. The Sunday Black Dong market was the attraction. On Saturday nights, the young Dong came to sing to each other, part of their traditional courtship ritual. Tourism ruined both the market and the Dong, who are now extremely aggressive, grabbing your arm to sell you a bracelet or embroidered bag. Sapa grew apace.

Aside from the tribes, Sapa's other attraction is the view, which is supposed to be spectacular. Hotels are named "Mountain View" and face out over the valley. Where there's nothing to see much of the time because of the fog, which is characteristic Sapa weather. Sapa recently experienced 58 days with no sun. The fog is so bad that walking around town at night is dangerous because the motos simply can't see you.

While saying that it was fogged in tells you that it was damp, you can't begin to appreciate HOW damp until you're in a shop, pull out a cotton garment and find it wet. Not damp. Wet. Everything I bought went straight to the hotel laundry. I don't want to bring home any little guests with these textiles – my experience last year of discovering that a treasured cape had turned in food for moth larvae is enough. I prefer my textiles thoroughly and completely ... dead.

After the guide tried to rip me off for $40 to go to a different market than scheduled, we set off for it early Sunday morning. I'm at a large hotel with several tour groups so as I sit in the lobby awaiting the driver I watch the tourists struggle with adversity: the road to Bac Ha, the big Sunday market, is closed due to a landslide. The tour guides, some of whom are tribal women in traditional attire, are busily explaining that they will go to another, much smaller, market, but the tourists are howling in pain. Off we go, in the other direction.

The guide grew up on the family farm, south of Hanoi. His grandfather was killed in the war and his father was almost killed, which he dismisses as history on this, the 40th anniversary of the Mai Lai massacre. Since farming is a hard life, he took at 30 month certificate course in English and moved to Sapa, ten years ago, when tourism was starting. Even though he earns only a tiny percent of the substantial amount paid to the travel agent, it is regular work in a country with more people with certificates than jobs. On the surface, the work is easy – sitting in a van, often sleeping, for hours on end or leading tourists in treks of known difficulty. But it means getting up at 4AM in order to be in Lao Cai by 6:30.

A more comfortable 2 hours later we get to the market, which is really a local market along the street that tribal people go to, so it is very different than Can Cau. But, then, so are the tribal groups. The Lu are there, whose women apply a heavy coat of something black to their teeth. There are other groups I can't identify . None of these women want to be photographed, which is common to the groups with less contact with tourists.

Missionary Positions
I have a small mission to accomplish. The biggest tribal textile dealer in Hanoi is a New York pediatrician who came with a $3 million grant to study the effects of Agent Orange on children. While the Vietnamese government had agreed to cooperate, when the time came cooperation was replaced with stonewalling so, in the end, the grant was returned. But, being a doctor, the owner of the shop came up with a stunningly simple solution to one of the many, many problems confronting the tribes: when women aged, they developed presbyopia and had to stop sewing and embroidering. He decided to buy cheap reading glasses and take them with him when he went to villages, gradually finding the women and fitting them, giving them a new opportunity to participate in the group. He said that, invariably, towards the end of each visit, the men would come over an nudge him "hey, me too!" Since I was going to the mountains, and he had only a few pair left, he told me to take some and give them out.

I wandered the main street, looking for the oldest possible women. This is tricky, because tooth loss, exposure to sun at high altitudes and a generally hard life makes people look far older than they are. I have met many women over the years that I thought were 70 only to learn that they were in their 40's,

The first women is with a friend and a granddaughter. She tries to sell me a handicraft trinket and I counter with glasses. She is delighted - first of all, she has a new form of adornment that no one in her village has - and then she realizes what they're for. She does what all three women that I give glasses to do - she looks at the edge of her sleeve, which is plain indigo with white edging. She then looks at a crudely embroidered jacket she is trying to sell me. I mime to her that the glasses are for close only, not far, but how much she gets from this I don't know. Her friend, who looks to be in her 40's, explains that she needs them too, so I'm a bit stuck.

I wander off to find my final recipient, which is a woman who tells my guide that she is in her 70's, and lifts her headscarf to show grey hair. I laugh and point to my far whiter hair. But when she puts them on, you can see that the glasses are really needed because she is hugging me. She is just so happy.

I leave, wondering whether it would be cheaper to ask people I know to donate the unused readers lying around in everyone's drawer and send them to the doctor in Hanoi or to just send money so he can buy them locally, where they might be very cheap. I'm not quite sure what these glasses really accomplish, but the experience of giving them away is something I'll treasure.

I meet other Americans here on medical missions. One group is doing plastic surgery on children with cleft palates, which they say is more prevalent in Asia. A nurse with them says she thinks this may be attributable to a Folic Acid deficiency, which is also the cause of spinal bifida. I'll need to look that up because it would b e so sad if something that inexpensive could prevent all this suffering.

Vietnam is so strange - the only country I've visited that defeated America in a war, and the only country where Americans continue to have such guilt over what they did to this country that, 35 years after the end of the war, missions continue.

Here We Go Loopty Lu...
We turn onto a road so deeply rutted that I doubt that the van could make it. But off we went to a Lu tribal village.

We passed a concrete plaza with an impressive two storey building - the local school, which the government is building in villages across the country. I asked the guide whether there were qualified teachers and text books. At first he said yes, but later admitted that teachers are a real problem. The government trains large numbers of them but - and here the story is the same as in so many developing countries. Salaries are extremely low, no one wants to work in these poor, remote villages and, astonishingly, it costs a prospective teacher $3,000 in bribes to even get a teaching job. As a result, poorly educated, unqualified people "teach" while the trained teachers leave the field by the thousands to get better paying jobs.

Even if salaries could be increased and bribes eliminated, you need only see how remote these villages are to understand how intractable the problem is. I wondered whether technology could help - have teaching done remotely, broadcast into the classroom via satellite. While interactive technology would be ideal, even having someone with the appropriate education deliver the lesson would have to help. Who knows - maybe cell phones could be used.

But on to the village, a collection of long, unpainted wooden houses on stilts. The paths were muddy with frequent, large piles of buffalo and pig excrement, sometimes impassible. Each home had a fenced in area, often containing one or two guard dogs which bark aggressively - but which never left their area. An extremely large pig wandered past.

The guide approached a man and asked if we could come inside to visit. 13 people lived there, from wizened grandmother to babe in crib. It had a long common room, slightly separate kitchen, and curtained off sleeping areas along one side. A TV played continuously and a spinning wheel sat at the ready. The head of the family, who passed away the month before, worked for the government, so this family had a steady income, unlike many others.

The wooden walls had gaps- no insulation against the cold mountain winters. I didn't see anything that would serve as heat. The women wear brocade and applique skirts and have thick paste blackening their teeth.

As we walked back to the van, we passed another house with a small satellite dish attached to its side. I remain convinced that the satellite dish, and now the cell phone, are the two most important technologies in the developing world, the internet being irrelevant to all but the educated.

Hanoi
The night train arrived in Hanoi at 4AM. When I arrived at my hotel, the front door was locked. Not as in "there's a lock and it is locked" bur rather as in "there's no lock so we've fastened it with a bicycle cable lock and some heavy twine." It took a few minutes for the three staff who sleep on a mattress in the lobby to undo their security.

The desk clerk offered me a flashlight so I could make my way to my room - apparently, the lights in the halls are off at night.

I mumbled an athiest's prayer that there would not be a fire and went to sleep with my flashlight on my night table.

There is not a lot to see in Hanoi. While the religious buildings date back hundreds of years, they have been restored and rebuilt repeatedly, often with an absence of skill. Some of the buildings are attractive in an minor sort of way but they are neglected and often obscured by hundreds of strands of electrical cable running in front of them. Burying the cables is a luxury this country cannot yet afford.

Many residential buildings in Hanoi and the north are the width of a brownstone and 5 storeys tall: "wedding cakes." The top floor is open, under a canopy or roof. It makes the city strangely vertical, even though there are many 2 story buildings. In the new part of the city more typical large scale architecture exists.

The thing to do is to wander around and get a feeling for the city or plant yourself in a cafe and watch the world go by (which means an endless stream of motos). Or sit by West Lake, which was formed when it was cut off from the Red River that flows through the city.

The one thing I knew I would not be doing is War of Liberation tourism - the Hanoi Hilton, various museums of the revolution, Ho's house - and especially not Uncle Ho's mausoleum. You've got to feel sorry for the guy. He specifically said that he wanted to be cremated and scattered across a united Vietnam - and not stuffed, preserved and put on display, the way Lenin and Mao have been. But that did not happen so there he lies, for all to see. I really don't understand this phenomena - it is one thing to see Grant's tomb and quite another to see Grant.

As I wandered, I looked for shops selling old hill tribe textiles. They are scattered around the old City and have small stocks. I suspect that most of the old material that exists today was collected long ago because hill tribe garments probably get harder wear than is common in tribal cultures and there is a long tradition of cutting them up. I find a few things, some quite wonderful and all inexpensive.

One of the truisms of travel is that your legs will hurt differently on every vacation, My thighs ache, sore in places that even the most acrobatic sex wouldn't exercise (On second thought, a position involving two support staff I once saw carved on a temple in India might do it...). I can't figure out why until I realize that I've been sitting on the very low plastic stools that are ubiquitous in China and Vietnam. I've been using them as I search the lower shelves of handicraft shops for antique tribal textiles. And when you get up, as you do every time you need to move the stool to another spot, you exercise just that inner thigh muscle.

Because of this, and my deep affection for cycle rickshaws, which are the perfect way to glide through cities, especially ones as chaotic as Hanoi, While I now know how to walk, it is a hassle in the Old City – and Hanoi is far hotter and much more humid than the temperature would lead you to believe. How humid? Well, it takes more than 48+ hours for my Cool-Max tee shirts to dry, which is unheard of. I have a micro-fleece that I washed two days ago which is still damp. I don't think my socks will ever dry.

Dollars and Vietnamese Dong are accepted interchangeably. While this it is common everywhere, when buying expensive items, to have prices quoted in dollars, Vietnam is the first place where even restaurant menus are "bilingual" - and in very small amounts. $1.35 for soup. $0.95 for tea. Even though I brought $100 in singles, and some larger denomination bills, I pay for routine things with Dong (16,000 to the dollar). After initial confusion of how you'll ever convert on the go, you realize thaat 10,000 Dong = $6 "and change" so you can do the math pretty quickly (assuming you learned your times tables in elementary school).

When you're told that it will cost 2 million Dong to airmail a package to New York, you welcome dollar denominations.

I have not seen a single fast food restaurant, or a Starbucks, in Hanoi, which is one of the things that gives you the feeling that you're travelling in the 1990's. I'm curious whether there will be any in Saigon, a much more cosmopolitan city.

Go A Hue
The most marvelous thing happened when we landed in Hue - the sun was shining!

The women in Hue are reputed to be the most beautiful in Vietnam. You see them protecting their skin from the sun by wearing motorcycle helmets with wide, hat-like brims and with heavy flesh colored gloves that end at their underarms. My dermatologist would be ecstatic. Of course, some women everywhere wear the conical : coolie" hat to protect themselves from the burning sun, but the degree to which these women protect themselves is extreme. Most also wear the thick cotton face masks that are ubiquitous in Vietnam to shield people on motos from pollution. The masks are useless, but how they wear them in the Vietnamese heat is something I can't imagine.

Hue is a more old-fashioned, less affluent city than Hanoi. Bicycles far outnumber motos and older women wear loose printed "pajama sets." Shopkeepers hand you your change (which is in bills) with both hands, which is the same way that the Chinese hand you things when they are showing respect. The whole pace of the city is slow. It is hot and humid.

There's not a lot to see in Hue but it is wonderful. The huge Imperial citadel is the size of many football fields, with the Imperial City nested inside. The site of intense fighting during the 1968 Tet Offensive, heavily damaged, it is now being restored. A boat trip down the Perfume River. Visits to the Emperor's Tombs.

I hire a cyclo to take me to the Citadel. I let the driver extend the trip, showing me various sites and buildings around the Citadel, so I end up in a museum commemorating the Vietnamese struggle against the Americans, complete with a three-dimensional model seeming to show torture. But, then, we passed the DMZ Cafe on the way into town. Several of the cafes in the traveler's ghetto where I'm staying give me the feeling that they are the kinds of bars GIs frequented during the war.

Wandering through the Imperial City, you see what a formal, ritualized Mandarin culture must have prevailed in Hue and you wonder how, if the French had not intervened, it would have evolved.

Clear Turquoise Waters...
The dream tropical vacation invariably features clear, turquoise waters. Its just that I've never seen turquoise water... in my bath tub before. Anyone wanna guess what the chemistry involved is?

The Dragon Boat
The boats that take tourists along the Perfume River are gaily painted to look like dragons. There are small ones, which could comfortably hold 4 or 6 people, and large ones, for small groups. I took a small one because the 8 hour agenda of the group seemed too ambitious for someone recovering from a bad cold. I didn't know whether I could deal with sitting in the boat, let alone 4 trips on the back of motos to the tombs. This is too bad, because the pagodas and tombs along the river are one of the highlights of Hue.

Once on my boat, I realized that it was an even more perfect choice for a convalescent than a cyclo. It has a roof, so there is shade, moves along the water, guaranteeing a breeze, and you need only shift your seat as the sun moves through its arc. The trip is interesting, less for the legendary beauty of the river, which I was not seeing, than for the large community of river dwellers who live in long, covered boats - sampan being the best image I can conjure. I would never have realized that this many people lived on the river, and that the river in a city like Hue is still a place where locals go to haul water, do their laundry and perform their ablutions. The river is dirty, with plastic bags and plastic bottles floating randomly along.

I thought the woman who owned the boat and I had agreed that we would go to the temple. Now that we were en route, she said no, it would be another $15 (no wonder she had insisted on payment in advance). She claimed that the pagoda was "very far" even though it isn't - and then her English cut out, which is always a good negotiating strategy. This leaves you with exactly one option, unless you're unusually stupid or stubborn: pay her. She knows you want to see the pagoda, you know you want to see that pagoda - and the two beyond it - but you won't see anything if you don't put some more coins in the meter. Like Eliot Spitzer, I paid.

The pagoda was wonderful - up on a hill at the bend in the river with several graceful pavilions. From the heights, you can see how beautiful the river must have been 100 years ago - broad, gently curving, with mountains in the background.

Back in town, I stop by my hotel to dump cold water over my head and then wander out to find lunch. And then I realize - there are no air conditioned restaurants. In fact, the only thing that is air conditioned may be the hotels. I realize that the same was true in Hanoi - yet another reason Vietnam has such an old-time feeling.

Down the Coast
I had booked a "soft seat" train to Da Nang, 3 hours down the coast. I love trains and knew that this one would give me a great view of some of the spectacular scenery. Plus, I like the freedom of trains, the ability to get up, wander around, read.

But this was not one of those trains.

The compartment looked like a DP camp - which basically, it was, because it takes two days to travel from Hanoi to Ho Chi Minh City. Who knew that those bars under the luggage rack were the place you hung your wet towels? The seats were shabby and were filled with people, someone of whom were sleeping on the floor. My seat , number, 59, simply did not exist. I found a seat next to an ancient woman and tried to settle in. If you've ever known people who are reluctant to put their heads on the back of an airline seat, well, I doubt that you could even get them to sit in these. As in much of Asia, you see people "grooming" their friend's hair by manually removing the lice nits.

Because it was lunch time, carts with incredibly unappetizing food kept coming through the compartment. My bags were in the way so people kept pointing at the rack - which was bursting. Still people pointed and I finally decided that I'd be yet another annoyance in the foot cart workers day. In the end, I was glad to have my pack in my lap - the car was unbelievably cold and the pack shielded part of me from a very noticeable breeze. Freezer, not air-con.

The first food cart brought Styrofoam boxes filled mostly with rice, plus some meat. Then came the chicken parts cart and people grabbed for pieces with their personal, already used, chopsticks. Like the guy in front of me with the non-stop sneeze.

Once 15 or 16 of these carts had gone by, it was back to nap time. Asians have the ability to fall asleep instantly, and stay asleep for hours. Because the seat was so cramped, and the coach so unpleasant, I didn't even escape into my book.

Mercifully, this was a short trip and I was soon in a taxi heading for Hoi An. But first class on this train was a world away from the equivalent on the train to Sapa.

High Hopes for Hoi An
Everyone told me that I was going to love Hoi An, the town with the large old Chinese quarter in Central Vietnam. I had my doubts, envisioning a city given over to tourism, with tacky shops in each building. Still, I tried to believe that I would love it and that I would be able to get the three outfits made that I would need for Radha's wedding next October.

I was worn down with the cold that had been dogging me since Hanoi. It had migrated to my ears - so not only was my energy lagging but I had a new worry - would my ears clear in time for my flight to Saigon on Wednesday and then New York?

In Vietnam, and in most of the developing world, you don't need a prescription to buy meds so I had a chat with the local pharmacist and bought an astonishing array of drugs.

I walked down the the main "tailors" area to find someone to make the clothing I wanted. There are literally thousands of tailor shops in Hoi An, all with the same odd assortment of Western clothes faded and dusty on dummies in front. I had no idea how to pick a shop, because you need to ensure that not only do they measure you properly but that they sew the clothing in a way that holds up. I don't really need what I was ordering to hold up for more than one day, but, still, it would be nice if it lasted.

Finally, I decided to pick based on fabric. I wanted lightweight Vietnamese silk because the wedding is hours long and outdoors, in South India. I ended up settling, lacking the inspiration to put together fabulous color combinations.

I then went off in search of a tailor to copy a jacket, thinking that would be easy. It wasn't - the tailors have very clear ideas of what constitutes appropriate jacket material and I didn't like the colors and fabrics available in their choices. When I suggested the same soft Vietnamese silk, they told me that it was "wrong". So I shoved my jacket back into my bag and walked back to my hotel, past endless shops selling the identical merchandise: cheap scarves, many made in India and Laos, of the type you see on street stalls near Canal Street, lacquer ware, mass produced art and silk lantern shops. I was really surprised that there was not a single shop selling higher end or more interesting goods. Here, as in Hanoi,, they swore that the Laotian scarves were from Vietnam. I didn't even bother asking about the acrylic "pashminas" people were stocking up on.

I didn't find the old city charming. It was crumbling, with little of architectural interest. The old Chinese buildings that constitute the sights of Hoi An were only OK - and this type of ornate Chinese building has never appealed to me. So I wasn't all that sorry when I realized that I needed to leave a day early, to take a train the 1,000 miles to Saigon, since I couldn't fly.

After securing the tickets - I splurged and booked an entire 4 bed compartment, which would give me space and privacy for the 20 hour trip on the same horrible train I'd taken from Hue - I went to the tailor to tell her that I'd need the outfits a day earlier.

And thus tailor insanity began.

No problem having everything - try on what was ready - which were skin tight and the shoulder pulled. No problem - they'd fix it and come to my hotel at 9 PM. Which they did - and the tops still didn't fit properly. No problem - they'd come the next morning. Which they did. And two tops sort of fit but the third one didn't. No problem - they'd fix. And fix. And fix. Into the hotel bathroom to change clothes, out again to show they, back into the bathroom - with the silk sticking to me in the hot, humid air. Finally, I had enough - and had to get ready to catch the train - so I agreed to take two. High drama ensued about the third, which was the one I most wanted but which really didn't fit. It was all just as horrible as I'd imagined 24 hour tailoring to be.

In the brief breaks in tailor insanity, I'd invited a German couple to share my compartment. I thought I'd spare them the horrors of the Soft Seat coach and have gain some company. From the confines of our (relatively) plush perches, we dove under the blankets, because the car was frigid, and then gawked in wonder when, hours later, the AC went off and it... rained... in our compartment. Everything was slick with condensation. My glasses fogged. Then a few minutes later, we dove under our quilts, back in the ice box for the night.

Slouching into Saigon
I arrived in Saigon at 4:30 AM, knowing that check-in at my expensive hotel wouldn't be until 2PM. They had a room which would cost me only a half day's rate, so off I went to sleep. At 5:50 the phone rang - the desk realized that it put me into the wrong room and would like me to move - right then. I attempted to reason with them but they felt an urgent need to correct their error - which I told them I'd be happy to do after 8AM, before firmly returning the phone to its cradle. In the morning, when I went to talk to the manager, he kept explaining that I should have moved. I responded in fine New York style, with no cultural sensitivity.

Competent medical care is not Vietnam's strongpoint - for anything serious, expats go to Bangkok, Singapore or Hong Kong - so I was glad when my travel insurance company came up with the name of a French foundation which uses the fees it gets from treating people like me to subsidize their work with the poor. I saw a young French GP who told me that I would be able to fly, with the only complicating factor possibly being severe pain. Or I could remain in Saigon until it cleared up, which could be 3 weeks. We decided on drugs and a note to the airport doctor in Seoul, where I would change planes, in case of problems.

Feeling relieved and reasonably fit for the first time in a week, I went off to sightsee. There was an interesting, but not very old, Chinese temple, a Hindu temple of similar vintage where a large number of Buddhists pray, and the usual central market. There are a few wonderful French colonial buildings, especially the Post Office, which was designed by Eiffel, and the Opera. Beyond that, things thinned out fast - the only Vietnam War building of interest was the Rex Hotel, where the American government briefed journalists at 5PM daily. Given the widely acknowledged "credibility gap" in government information, the journalists quickly dubbed these briefings "the 5 o'clock follies." I could have gone to Cholon, Chinatown, but passed.

I took long coffee breaks in air conditioned places during the hot hours of the day - Saigon was in the 90's and humid. And it wasn't even the hot season.

The Long Flight Home
The only thing worse than having a 24 hour long flight depart at 12:40 AM is needing to be at the airport three hours early for check-in.

The first flight was 4.5 hours to Seoul. As I popped the painkillers the doctor had given me, I abstractly considered the idea of hours of severe ear pain and the need to break my trip in Korea but I couldn't quite get to the stage of real worry.

The man sitting next to me was a "boat person" - a Vietnamese refugee who left when the Communists won. This son of coastal fisherman had been in America for 28 years, working in factories. This was the end of a three month vacation to see his family, his 9th since leaving and his first in 5 years.

There didn't seem to be a clear reason why he fled, other than the fact that life was changing and he was the only member of his family young, and unattached, enough, to go. So he left and has spent the intervening years in South Carolina, Iowa and now Denver, alone, living in a small room, saving money for his next trip back home. His wife was unwilling to move to America with their 5 year old son. He will return home when he retires; Social Security will let him live very well in Vietnam. But this is still years off.

I try to imagine what he is feeling as he keeps his face towards the airplane window, greedy for every moment he can see Vietnam, his home.

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Bangkok, Cambodia, Laos 2006 - 2007

Bangkok: Departure
The Transportation Security Agent was not pleased. He held up my 1-quart zip lock plastic bag and looked pained. It was "too full" - their idea of things baggie was a 3-ounce bottle of Listerine floating pristinely in the bag, like babe in womb. Mine was stuffed with tiny tubes of liquids and gels.

I explained that I would be traveling in Laos and Cambodia for over 3 weeks and would not be able to buy any of this. Was I traveling alone, he asked. Yes - which was technically true, because my friends weren't flying out for almost a week. He sighed, and I did my best to paste a little old grey haired lady look on my face. I knew that there was nothing he could do to me - I had made sure that I complied with the letter of the law.

In fact, I had spent the prior week scrutinizing the TSA prohibited items Web page. No more saving money by bringing the last 2 ounces of a tube of toothpaste. Prescription and OTC meds could go in a separate baggie - but that would mean that I'd need to bring the prescription bottle - so these were crammed into the baggie along with everything else. In fact, packing the baggie was more of a challenge than traveling for 3 1/2 weeks with a carry on. THAT I knew I could do. I went rampaging across the Internet looking for things I could exclude from the baggie and came up with powdered toothpaste, insect repellent wipes, bar shampoo and stick sunscreen.

The TSA list makes fascinating reading. Early on, when they eased up on the total ban on liquids and gels, they decided to allow gel breast implants (cosmetic or prosthetic) and personal lubricant, which they helpfully explained was KY Gel. I could not bring gel heel pads - but I was being encouraged to join the mile high club.

As baffling as KY Gel was, the special notice, posted right before I left, was stranger still. It announced, in large letters, that snow globes of any size, even with documentation, would need to be shipped or packed in checked baggage (now that's a fine idea). This raises several questions. Were so many people trying to bring snow globes on that the issue was escalated to the highest levels of homeland security? Was there such a thing as a documented snow globe? And, of course, why were they focusing on snow globes and not, say, the cargo going into the hold?

When I went through security at the airport, the young woman in front of me had a fit. She had tiny amount of some lotion in an otherwise empty bottle and was screaming at the minimum wage African American security guard who was helpfully suggesting that she could write to her government but could not carry it on. The woman snatched it back, saying she would check it, and went running back through security to the check-in counter. Did she really expect that they could retrieve her bag, which had long ago vanished into the hold?

Once on-board, I settled down for what would be a 24 hour journey, with the first flight taking 14 hours - make that 15 because of the wait on the runway. I was stuck in a middle seat because, as a frequent flyer, I could not reserve seats when I booked. This middle seat was a vast improvement from the one they originally assigned, which SeatGuru said was the worst on the plane. The only problem with this seat was that next to me was a gangly Korean 20 year old who promptly fell asleep, and slept the entire 14 hours. So there I was, 58-year-old bladder and all, trapped. It was not a happy situation. He must have wondered why, whenever he got up to pee, I did the same.

The Korean Air flight was filled with 20-year-old Koreans, probably exchange students going home for the holidays. Atypically, I had an interesting seatmate on the other side. It is amazing how much faster a flight goes when you have someone to talk to.

For those of you who care about such thing. Korean Air is great - plenty of legroom and good meals. Constant juice breaks. Not bad for 60,000 miles!

After a 3-hour layover in Seoul, I was off on another 5 hour flight, to Bangkok. This, too, took off an hour late. It was filled with Koreans going to Thailand to golf over the Christmas weekend. Even though Korea is a deeply Christian country, the guy next to me said that observing Christmas was no big deal and everyone left town. The guy across the aisle, a banker, laughingly observed that the whole world is nervous about North Korea having nukes - except for the South Koreans, who really don't think about it.

Arrived in Bangkok after midnight and happily strolled out of the airport with no need to wait for my bags. By 1 AM I was in my hotel room, the flight all but forgotten.

Bangkok: Tree Top Living
What is the most unnecessary piece of exercise equipment in Bangkok? A stair master.

When I first came to Bangkok in 1988, three things struck me: the traffic, my sheer inability to cross a street and the prostitutes of all sexes. Prepping for this trip, I read that Bangkok claims to have the worst traffic in the world (I'm not sure whether that includes traffic in 12 year olds). So they solved the problem. They built a Sky Train. And, in the Central Shopping District, and sky walkway. It works like this.

A Sky Train, the wonder of Asia, blah, blah, blah, is nothing more than what used to be called "The El" for elevated train. They preceded the subways in Manhattan and are still in place in "the boroughs" as anyone who has ever frozen waiting for a train can tell you. But I guess if they are newly built they get called Sky and are marveled at. They do, however, let you get around town really fast - at least for those parts of town on their route. A dispute over routing has kept them from the area with all the historical religious monuments, i.e., every place a tourist wants to go to do something other than shop, rent a 12 year old or watch a pole dancer.

What I didn't know was that, in the musically named "Central Shopping District" they built an elevated walkway below the train. This means that you no longer have to contend with horrendous pedestrian traffic on narrow, poorly maintained sidewalks, which, for some reason, seem to come with 14" high curbs. And no long, long waits at the corner to cross while the cars zip through yellow and red lights. Instead, you just pop up to the walkway and boogie. However...

The walkway is two flights above the street. Generally, there are no escalators or, if there are escalators, working escalators. There are no elevators. So you spend your day walking up two flights... and down two flights. Even when all you want to do is to cross the street.

Being in a transportation sandwich also means that your view of the landscape changes. You're seeing the middle of every building, so it is hard to tell where you are, until you notice the signs. Jane Jacobs would have a fit, because everything that makes walking down a street interesting is gone. Except that this is Bangkok and there is nothing to notice, because you're in the land of SuperMall. There are at least 7 malls within 4 blocks of my hotel. One of them is considered to be the largest mall in Asia. And they're building another one. The skywalk is attached, umbilical like, to the second storey of each mall, just like in all those "City of the Future" pictures we saw in the 1950s. But if this is the future, you can have it back.

Now, I can see real advantages to the two-tiered walkway. In New York, we could have one for tourists, who tend to gawk and generally attain insufficient ground speed, and one for us natives. Depending upon our agenda, we could take the high ground and get in some cardio while rushing about the City, since you go up and down these things so many times a day that your calf muscles are in knots. Or we could cede the high ground to the tourists as a way to get them to shed some pounds while they're visiting our fair city.

The one thing you don't want to be in Bangkok is old (you don't see anyone over 25, so I assume that this isn't an issue) or disabled. The city is an absolute nightmare if you're either of these. I guess their consciousness doesn't extend that far.

A Bangkok Christmas
"The Twelve Days of Christmas" has a special meaning to me this year. Not only is a special adaptation of it the team song at work but it was also the first thing I heard blaring at me when I entered the skywalk. It was followed by a series of upbeat Christmas songs, to keep everyone in the holiday spirit. There are Christmas decorations by all the malls - trees, nutcrackers, candy canes - all the usual. And young Thais have outfitted themselves in Santa caps or, for reasons I can't discern, illuminated devil horns. Thais are, of course, Buddhist.

I'm not sure what the Thais make of Christmas, other than it being a good time to take pictures of each other by the glowing decorations. Like other Asians (yes, I know that this is a stereotype - but...), they are in LOVE with their digital cameras. Except for all of those that still have SLRs with tripods. So, basically, everyone is running around, taking pictures, tripping each other with tripod legs and, on Christmas Eve, singing carols for change.

The mall most favored by young Thais (and that is saying a lot) has the whole gamut of Christmas imagery, including a tree with a Visa card star, outside it. This mall is directly across the street from Bangkok's most popular shrine, built in the 1950s when (I think) the Hyatt Hotel was being built, where the ever-religious Thais make offerings and watch traditional Thai dance. The shrine is always crowded and is benignly overlooked by a Burberry shop window. Between the Christmas corner and the shrine is the anti-jaywalking fence covered in Christmas lights that spell out "Happy New Year 2007."

Inside the malls, the Christmas theme continues. I took a break from it all - and looked up to see my 50-year-old male server with a lined face wearing a Santa hat with blinking lights with a small rhinestone tiara at the front. My jaw dropped in awe.

Too bad I won't be here for New Year's Eve.

Bangkok: A Nice Place to Visit...
The Thais have finally stopped chirping "Merry Christmas" which is a relief in the 93 degree heat.

Bangkok is, like all major Asian cities, unlivable. People with money live on narrow lanes behind blind gated walls or in one of the huge high rises sprouting everywhere. The poor live as the poor always do, in the left over, left behind places. But, no matter what your income, you still live in a polluted, traffic choked city. The only thing that differs is how you deal with it.

Affluent adults suffer the traffic in air-conditioned cars while their hip young offspring take the Sky Train. The working class struggles with un-air-conditioned buses. There are still a few Tuk Tuks, the three wheeled motorcycle taxis that were ubiquitous 20 years ago, but no one wants to arrive sweaty and covered with pollution. Then there are the public motorcycles - guys in orange jackets who wait for fares to find them while they sit on the sidewalk at intersections. The passenger hops on the back and off they go, weaving through the stalled traffic. The middle class has their own motorcycles, which make crossing streets far more challenging than in New York. On the rare occasions that the traffic stops and you make your urban weave through the stopped cars move, you discover that the motorcycles are speeding through the spaces like some opportunistic parasite. It is an intricate system that mirrors the economic structure.

I have gotten to the point where I can tell the malls apart - certainly not by what they sell, which is the same everywhere. How many shops selling Armani can there be in a 4-block area? But malls are the new urban centers in Bangkok - huge and filled with shops, fast food joints and even food courts.

Food courts are modern Bangkok's way of replicating the street food vendors beloved by the locals. In essence, take all the stands, put them indoors, and eliminate the need to run cross-town to find your favorite curry. Singapore has had them for years. However, Bangkok has put them in malls and made them huge. Here's how they work.

Somewhere in the court there is a desk where you buy a cash card - you use it to buy whatever you'd like and then cash it in at the end of the evening. Now... imagine that you are jet lagged. And hungry. You put $15 on a card and go off to nibble. Except every place you pick doesn't take the card. They charge you directly. You're sure that there are some places that take the card, but you're so tired you're hallucinating, so you pay and move on to the next counter - which also doesn't take the card. Sated, tired and wanting to go back to your hotel, you now have to cash in the card. Assuming that you can find the counter. You make false starts and pass the gift basket place, where pre-packaged gift baskets contain Chivas, prune juice and Ovaltine (I'm not making this up). Finally, you find the counter and stagger back to the skyway and home.

Back to the 1980s
I couldn't understand it. My usual Bangkok Internet hook-up was down. My alternate was down. I was too tired to look further. Which was a good thing because, when I got back to my room, I heard about the earthquake in Taiwan and the damage to the cable. Instant 1980s, when traveling meant that you dropped off the edge of the earth. I had already been enjoying an unplugged trip - no international Blackberry, no cell phone - but I was not prepared for this.

Fortunately, two days later, things are back up, although there is a concern about after-shocks in Taiwan causing new damage. This is the lead story on all TV news, which now comes complete with interviews with the guy responsible for overseeing the cable's operation and repair. They even took the reporter into a server room and showed her a router!

Now, two days without the Net means two days where I didn't get to use my lead in lines, so this will be more of a travel salad than a travel article.

When we think of Thai food, Pad Thai comes to mind. These days, when you think about the Thai people, you need to think about padded Thai (groan!). Most Thais are tiny - size zero is probably large. But here and there you see the supersize set - not anywhere close to American standard but distinctly large for Thailand. These are invariably young people (but, then, everyone I see in Bangkok is young) and they have that flabby look of more to come. I wonder how they manage to buy clothing - most shops don't carry anything that looks larger than a size 6.

One of the downsides of being tall in this town is that you mis-judge the height of things. The sidewalks are impossibly narrow and crowded so I ducked around a street size - and slammed my head onto its bottom. Fortunately, no blood, since I travel with only a couple of shirts. But I walked with a new wariness, having to look up as well as down, at the obstacle course that is a Bangkok sidewalk.

On Wednesday, I made three serious mistakes: I took two taxis and a high-end tour.

As I've written, Bangkok traffic is awful. In fact, the first thing every taxi driver will say to you when you get into a cab is "traffic jam." But I needed to be across town by 7:45 AM to make a tour and thought I'd settle into a cab for a snooze instead of taking the Skytrain. Wrong. I took an hour and I barely made the tour. Actually, it is too bad that I made the tour.

Several guidebooks for the hip raved about the bus/lunch/boat tour to Ayuttia (spelling?) from the Shangri-la Hotel. So off I went from Bangkok in one of those two tier luxury buses filled with blue hairs (my hair is gelled, so it doesn't count). It turns out that you can do Ayuttia in about 30 minutes -and all three sites that they drag you to in less than 90 minutes. But they make them take all morning. I don't find the site at all impressive but then I realize that I am jaded - and I am playing "comparative monuments." I've seen Pagan in Burma and Borobador in central Java - meeting that standard is pretty high. I find this happening more and more as I travel - going to see sites and realizing that I've seen things that are far more breath taking. Or perhaps this is an excuse to shop?

Then there is the 45-minute trip to the luxury boat, where they provide an "international buffet" - ham, smoked salmon, lots of salad for the anorexic teenagers and the token curry and rice. All with assigned seats in air-conditioned comfort. This is not a friendly experience where you're encouraged to mingle.

At lunch, no one looks out of the windows - they focus intently on their roast beef. After a while, the guide starts narrating: here's the hospital, there the university, there the temple, there the dishwasher, here the dryer, there the laundry room. It is mind numbing, mundane and goes on and on and on. All I want to do is to get off the boat - NOW - and picture myself swimming to shore. Finally, at 3PM, the bloody thing docks. The bus guide, who spent the boat portion sound asleep, is first off the boat, hand out for tips. I flee. For two reasons.

When you drive up to the Shangri-la, your car is halted at a barrier and the guards run mirrors under the bottom, looking for explosives. I don't remember whether they check the trunk - and they certainly don't check the interior of the car. Such security precautions do not make me feel good - instead, they scream SOFT TARGET, which, given the number of affluent, middle aged Europeans is pretty much the case. So whenever I see something like this, my goal is to get out of such places as quickly as possible.

I then make my next mistake - I get into a taxi to go to another place I want to see. 40 minutes later, I ask him to drop me at the nearest Skytrain station. 50 minutes into the trip, he pulls over to let me take one of the orange-jacketed motorcycle taxis, which would get me to my destination much faster. Having watched these guys weave in and out of traffic, I decline in horror, and give up my plan. Since rush hour seems to last from 7 - 10AM and 4 - 7PM, there's not a lot of day when things are better - make that "better" by Bangkok standards. I decide that I will restrict my travels to the Skytrain and the Skyway, which I've come to love, despite the chronic knots in my legs from endless flights of stairs.

If I was a suburban American accustomed to mega-malls, perhaps the fact that I actually want to go into my favorite of the 6 of them clustered near my hotel would not seem strange. But this is not my typical behavior until I realize that these are the new urban centers, complete cities with supermarkets, restaurants, endless Gucci/Coach shops (and even an area on the second floor with Mazzaratis, Porches, Lexus - on display. At times I get lost in the vastness of the mall - I have no idea where some version of "out" is - and ultimately recognize the feeling I had in the vast souk in Aleppo where I needed to be guided out. For that is what these malls are, the modern souk, for souks are more than just a collection of shops.

And then there is Sex in the City of Angels (Bangkok) - think unattractive middle aged men with paunches - or old men declining towards frailty, with poorly dyed hair - and Asian women. Much younger, more attractive, Asian women. I'm not talking about prostitutes here - these seem to be real couples - but you sense the eternal bargain - women getting material comforts if they will (literally) consort with these men.

To Phnom Penh
Thailand opened a new airport recently, the largest in Asia. Like everything in Bangkok, it is filled with high-end designer shops - the world as mall. Still, it was nice getting into an airport without having my underwear X-rayed... until the Departure board directed me to a Gate that didn't exist. Gates went from C to G - but the board insisted that I go to A. And there was, of course, no one to ask. Anywhere. The petit female security guards busy with their walkie-talkies were baffled when I spoke to them. Fortunately, the airport realized the mistake and changed to a terrestrial gate, which I reached with minimal security: sneakers ON and no baggie blues!

Where we waited. And waited, until the delayed flight arrived. The gate agent called the flight - with the wrong destination, confusing everyone. And then there was no plane. Even though the airport is new, we still needed to take a bus to the plane, which was somewhere on the tarmac. On we piled and drove, and drove, and drove, until we pulled up next to a plane, sat there with the doors closed, started, stopped and finally were told to board. But the plane didn't say Bangkok Air - it said Druk Air, which, if you know your trivia, you know to be the national airline - of Bhutan. Since the flight was filled with the usual mix of neurotic, highly excitable French tourists and genetically hyperactive Italians, I had to wait only a little while for "the question": This flight IS going to Phnom Penh, right? Yes, the flight attendant assured him, it was.

I had spent the time waiting with a 32-year-old Cambodian who was in Bangkok for corporate training. His story is the story of Cambodia, and of far too much of the world these days. His parents were killed by Pol Pot and his grandmother, who he reveres, raised him. There are so many grandmothers in the world raising a second family, in Africa, in Cambodia and, of course, in America. We stereotype this as an African American phenomena but it is the story of the human race, of all animals, ensuring that there is a future generation that survives.

The flight was short and the chaos at the airport complete. Visas are available upon arrival - but the guidebooks neglect to mention the fact that they don't quite have their system down.

First, you go to the Visa Application counter, where you hand over your passport, a photo and a form. Then you get in line to pay your $20 visa fee and pick up your passport. Except that there is no such thing as a queue, or any attempt at organizing one, and the guy handing out the passports seems to pull them randomly from the ever-changing pile in front of him. The tall, condescending American in front of me loudly observes that the Cambodians are too timid to read out the names. I can't imagine a Cambodian in a uniform being timid - but I can imagine that they don't speak English, so all those nice Roman letters on our documents mean as much as Khmer writing means to me. '

An hour later - and only because I'm traveling with a carry-on - I'm through Customs and searching for my driver. A 30-minute ride through the darkened city brings me to my riverside hotel, to await my friends' arrival in the morning.

Phnom Penh: What the Blind Can't Know
Well, Dear Reader, I suffered in your service. This delicate Brooklyn flower blogged for an hour on a non-ergonomic PC and knotted her shoulder badly. So, at my friend's suggestion, I went to have a massage given at the charity for the blind next to my hotel.

As anyone who has had really good bodywork knows, you are interviewed about old injuries before the masseuse starts. And if they don't ask, you can always tell them when they approach a problem spot. None of which works when the masseuse is blind and speaks only Khmer, a fact I realize when he starts working on my arms, the site of tens of thousands of dollars of micro-surgery. The best I can do is to gently push his fingers away to get him to stop, as he bears down on my inner elbow where my nerve now is but should not be.

As I lie there, I realize how impossible it would be for him to understand the geography of my 58-year-old body and the wonders of modern medicine that keep it running. Here a finger that has been reconstructed. There, a nerve that has been moved. As he works in a world of darkness in a country that endured horrible darkness and is now returning to the light. If I were a 58-year-old Cambodian, it would mean that I managed to survive the Khmer Rouge, who one day emptied the city I now visit. They simply marched everyone out of town, killing the weak and the stragglers. And, had I survived, I would be old, from years of starvation and, when I got lucky, a life of hard work. No dental work to preserve my teeth. No sunscreen to keep the sun from aging my skin. And certainly no fancy surgeries when the nerves in my hands were damaged. Had I been Cambodian, I would have had only pain and increasing disability. It did not expect to have these thoughts during a massage. But sometimes the blind help us to see.

Cambodia: Angkor Wat
New Year's Eve was spent at THE in spot in Phnom Penh, which happened to be the wonderful open bar on the upper floors of our 7 room hotel, the Foreign Correspondents Club www.fcc.com. Given how folks drive normally in Phnom Penh, the thought of going elsewhere and having to be driven home rendered that idea absurd, so we stayed home and let the world come to us. There were fireworks over the Tonle Sap river and funny hats for all. Unfortunately, while "dressing" for dinner, the BBC broadcast news of the bombs in Bangkok, a country largely without violent crime or this type of political violence. Even now, no one knows who is responsible. My friends will spend a day in Bangkok before coming home. I will spend only a few hours at the airport hotel.

The next morning we flew to Siem Reap, a 45-minute flight to one of THE great travel destinations, the many temples at Angkor Wat. This area first opened to tourists less than 15 years ago, when the Khmer Rouge lost their hold on Cambodia, but even 8 years ago tourists were killed going to some of the outlying temples - and the land mines had not yet been cleared from the temple sites. 900 people a year are still injured by land mines here.

I knew that tourism had exploded in Siem Reap and knew, from far too much experience, that towns like this are usually awful, so it is especially important to have a hotel that is a refuge. I had no idea. The town is home to a market selling cheap tourist goods, lots of bars for the backpacker set and cheap hotels. One road into town, which we're on, is lined with cookie cutter 4 storey hotels catering to Asian tourists, who are the bulk of those here: Korean, Japanese and Chinese (probably Taiwan). Hotels are banned from most of the road to the temple, but that is where the high-end hotels are. These cost $300 - $2,000 a day. So finding the right hotel was hard, but we did well - 12 rooms in 6 new buildings around a beautiful pool, with lots of tropical foliage keeping out the road and traffic right outside. All very spa like. Since we will be here for 5 nights, and it is way too hot to sightsee in mid-day, having a place like this is vital.

The temples are packed with tour groups - I have NEVER seen so many tour buses! There are very few European and American tourists. The Japanese are like locusts following their leader in lockstep - they are completely unaware of other tourists, which gets annoying when you're trying to enter somewhere that they are exiting.

Them temples are magnificent, and often very large, with numerous buildings within a complex. Some are "temple mountains" and seeing them fully means climbing LOTS of very high, narrow, steep stairs. At the main Angkor Wat complex, it was so frightening that we didn't do it. Even walking around the temples is a challenge, because you're up and down 18" steps all the time. "Fortunately” I started developing my climbing muscles in Bangkok!

There is no way to see all the temple complexes - nor would you want to. While we have extensive, scholarly guidebooks, I am Phyllis Steen, not a scholar, and really have no desire to, for example, follow the suggested chronological itinerary. Instead we figured out the five "must see" complexes and plan to do one of those each morning. We learned the hard way that getting up early is the only way to do it, because your body overheats so badly as noon approaches. And this is the cool season! But even when you go early, there is no tranquility to be had, because the crowds are so enormous.

And then there are the kids selling things, who, at best, are annoying and, at worst, menacing.

I long ago learned the trick of not making eye contact with even the most disfigured leper - once you do, they will stay with you. But some of my friends are softies who lack this experience and so were mobbed by a swarm of children who became outraged that they would not buy an overpriced book from them.

The children are beautiful, there poverty is severe - but even if you gave everyone a dollar, you would not change anything. If anything, you would increase their expectation that foreigners will just hand over money, which will cause problems for future tourists. Indeed, I met one young NY woman who is traveling alone and who was so rattled by predatory taxi drivers that she was ready to leave Cambodia the day after she arrived. It was all the usual tourist trap stuff - and then some. She hired a taxi, and not a motorcycle, because she had a suitcase, and the moto driver told her that she owed" him money. The taxi driver refused to take her to the guesthouse she wanted and, only after a struggle did she get to her second choice. Now he was refusing to set meeting places at these huge, crowded complexes. It brought back all my memories of visiting the Taj Mahal. Even the driver we hired pulled stunts - he was outside of our hotel, quoted a price that I thought was too high - and then told the tuk-tuk driver I stopped to tell me that he was busy, when clearly he was not. The driver then lied about the availability of transportation back from the site and suggested a meeting place that would have required us to walk several miles that we did not need to. My friends and I had lengthy discussions about whether to engage him the next day - they felt his actions were due to the desperation of poverty while I pointed out that everyone is poor but not everyone reacts this way. I lost the argument - but the next day he was the model driver.

Having just been to The Killing Fields and the infamous high school in PP where people were tortured, mostly by young teenage boys, I have no doubts about the cruelty these slight, beautiful children are capable of in all the genocides of the world. Lord of the Flies.

In Phnom Penh we bought beautiful antique Cambodian silks, which are very scarce because so much was destroyed during the Khmer Rouge years. As you may know, one day Pol Pot emptied Phnom Penh completely - he marched everyone in the city out into the countryside, as part of his plan to bring the country to Year Zero before building a new, egalitarian agrarian society. If the Nazi deportations of Jews are unimaginable, this is more so - and entire city left empty. Apparently, when people returned 4 years later, their homes were intact - there had been no looting because everyone was gone.

Time to go. My friends are emerging from their mid-day naps, sitting on their verandas or swimming in the pool. Perhaps tonight we'll go to the gay restaurant in town...

A Poem
In Cambodia my friends and me,
Live in rooms with Wet Clothing Trees.

Wet black blossoms bloom at night,
Still damp by morning light.

Polyester petals
Set off shiny metal.

Blessing poor tourists
This lovely chrome tree!

Cambodia: Watted Out In Siem Reap

There is a famous Indian novel, Heat and Dust, which could also be the name of today's blog. I am in an Internet Cafe in scenic, downtown Siem Reap where the sun is blinding and hot beyond imagining. The things to do in this town are (1) drink cheap beer (2) get a massage (blind, 4 handed and, I'm sure, X-rated) (3) shop (4) write emails and (5) eat. Among the 4 of us, we've just done all of these. I can't believe how many massages my friend gets - but then, guys don't shop.

We've finally got our act together for seeing temples - out of the hotel by 7:45 AM, see a major temple for 60 - 90 minutes and then whatever minor one is en route. Back to the hotel by 11 or 11:30 or risk heat stroke, and then lunch, pool, etc - unless you're an overachiever/intellectual/masochist, in which case you go to see more temples at 4 PM. But, for me, Siem Reap's Greatest Hits suffices.

Today we went to a temple complex famous for the enormous trees that had grown through the walls. The place was mobbed with Asian tour groups, primarily Korean. Since much of this temple is un-restored, there was little room to walk, so having mobs of zombie like tourists playing follow the leader meant get out of the way or beware! As seems to be the cultural norm in Asia, no photo was complete without someone in it - so each person in each group posed in front of each massive set of roots, to be replaced by the next, and the next, and the next. It made trying to get a photo of the ruins impossible. But don't tell that to the Italians, who picked the place to get the perfect shot with their 9,000 mm zoom Nikon and then waited, impatiently, for everyone else to leave so they could take a photo with no one in it. I think they will be there for eternity. Perhaps this is an Italian meditation or way to achieve enlightenment?

En route to this temple, we stopped at a "one star" site, which was completely deserted. It was fabulously photogenic in the morning light and, with no hordes, possible to feel what these temples were like a mere decade ago. It was quite wonderful.

Along the path to the temple there was a band of 10 men playing traditional Cambodian music. Each was a victim of a mine explosion or was born disabled. They are affiliated with an NGO that was founded by a soldier who lost his legs in a mine explosion and cannot live on his $25/month pension. In this way, they are trying to provide income and dignity to the many, many people in this situation - and to avoid turning them into beggars. Their literature said that there are 5 - 10 million un-detected mines in Cambodia and that it costs $300 to clear each one. Until they are cleared, farmers are unable to fully farm their land if it is a known minefield.

In town there are a half dozen shops that are affiliated with various NGOs. Some are for people with disabilities; others are joint European/Cambodian ventures whose goal is to employ poor women and also to generate a surplus that can be used for public works projects in the villages they work with. These types of programs are going on in many parts of the developing world. The interesting thing here is that some are affiliated with professional European designers so their wares are far superior. One of the sad realities of these projects is that much of what they sell is barely ordinary, so they cannot generate the needed revenue. But it is still vastly superior to other alternatives.

The pushcarts selling books to tourists have their sides painted with brief life stories of their owners. The stories are much the same, and artificial limbs not uncommon. Because the food in Cambodia is so good, I have a surplus of chocolate protein bars, which I travel with in case of gastronomic disasters (e.g., Burma). I have only a few but I give these to poor children since it will actually be good for them. I am sure that they think they are getting candy - but, hey, these taste pretty good.

Tomorrow will be our last day here, and then on to Laos. Cambodia is likely to be an exemplar of modernity, compared to Laos. Since January 2006 they have international ATMs and some of the shops take credit cards. What they don't really have is their own currency, because dollars are used everywhere. You get riels (4000 to one dollar) in change, because there are no coins, but you never change currency into riels. Laos does not have ATMs and will take whatever currency you give them (e.g., dollars, Thai baht), even though they do have currency of their own. It is extremely odd to think of Cambodia as "advanced" but some of what they do is quite impressive. For example, their free to tourists guides to the major cities are quite comprehensive and excellent. I doubt that this will be the case next week.

I dream of a shower and the pool at our hotel. And, some day, a cotton tee shirt and jeans...

Cambodia: Last Wat Done
If in Bangkok a StairMaster is superfluous, at Angkor step classes are absurd. The "temple mountains" require excellent coordination - and small feet - or an all fours ascent and even more perilous descent. But the other temples are much more "over a high threshold and DOWN" "up a high step and DOWN" - every 6 feet or so. You are always trying to avoid tripping over uneven paving (yeah, it is 1,000 years old, and showing its age) and looking up at the wonders around you. Today's temple, the last of the "Best Of" was virtually free of tour groups - except for a Taiwanese college tour that I had the misfortune to be in front of. We were trying to get to the end of a LONG series of galleries, each with two sets of step ups and down - and they were moving quickly. It was like being force marched or exercised by a Marine. Up - over -down - and mind your head, because these same doorways are only 5 feet high. Trust me, getting acquainted with them...smarts... (In Bangkok, I cut around the pedestrian traffic near the weekend market, and ducked under a sign. BAD move - I forgot how short people are. Fortunately, there was no blood - but, boy, did it smart.

We asked our driver and a shopkeeper which NGOs they thought did good work, so we could donate some money to them. The reaction was the same: buy something from people instead of giving, because that way you are sure the money gets to them. The corruption in Cambodia is total. One of my friends read an appeal from an English nurse to donate blood, which is always needed Cambodian religious beliefs preclude donation. Unfortunately, none of us trust the sterility of the equipment, no matter what this nurse says. There is simply too much AIDS - and a host of other diseases.

I am touring with 3 friends, one of whom fits the description of "intellectual" to a T, so it is interesting to see how differently we approach each temple. He focuses on each carving, while I focus on the setting and the light, taking photos of many things that tell the story of the trip and of the sites. But, then, we are both textile collectors - he's a scholar and I admit to being a "textile slut" who loves the sensuality of the colors and the materials. Cambodia is the land of silk, in beautiful, amazing colors and textures. The traditional textiles use ikat dyeing, a very exacting, labor-intensive technique. The larger the textile and the smaller the pattern the higher the skill. It is rare to find a new textile with fine work.

Tomorrow we leave for Laos, and we'd better be prompt, because ours is the only flight to Vientiane. Our hotel is minutes from the airport and the French owner assures us that they will get us through Customs quickly. There is, of course, no money to convert - I managed to save a single bill for a friend's collection because, outside Cambodia, the riel is unconvertible. And Laos will be 8 - 10 degrees cooler, which we are very much looking forward to.

Laos: Currency Confusion
Sometimes it is hard to find a free PC at an Internet cafe - all the monks are using them. Luang Prabang, Laos, a small "city" in the mountains of Laos, is the home of Laotian Buddhism and of many, many old and beautiful temples. These temples all have monastic schools, so the streets are filled with the young monks who study there. I'm guessing that things work the way they do in Thailand, where many young boys go to the monastery but don't devote their lives to them. There seem to be different "ranks" because boys around 12 wear yellow fabric belts on their robes while older boys wear saffron belts, the same color as their robes.

Luang Prabang is a UNESCO World Heritage city, so there is a lot to see. The temples have pitched roofs with facades of carved and painted gold, shiny in the sun. Gold designs are also stenciled onto dark red background and, in special places, mirrors, silver and green, are inlaid into surfaces. The carvings are of the life of Buddha and are quite remarkable bas-reliefs.

The old part of Luang Prabang is a narrow peninsula between two rivers, the Mekong and the ???. In Vientiane, much further downstream, the mighty Mekong was mostly dry, since it is not the rainy season. Here it is full.

Luang Prabang is filled with tourists - but no bus tours, as buses are not allowed. Most hotels are "guest houses" - simple affairs costing under 40 dollars. Almost every building in the old part of town is a guesthouse - or a cafe - or a shop selling fake Lao silk. It reminds me of Ubud, Bali in the late 1980s. However here both the Laotian government and UNESCO are trying very hard to preserve the traditional culture by minimizing the destructive influence of tourism. Tourists must be properly dressed to go into major temples - they'll lend you a shirt if you're barefooted - and there are flyers all over town telling you how to behave during the early morning giving of alms to the monks and in temples. In Vientiane, which is the capital city, there are efforts to bar barefoot tourists in tank tops from restaurants and cafes. However, I think the banning of tour buses - and thus the worst type of group tourism - will help the most - although Katmandu, Nepal is proof that even the type of tourism that is happening in Luang Prabang creates problems.

I had planned to buy the beautiful Laotian silk scarves that I've seen in NY, but they are unavailable. Since consumption determines what is produced, most weavers have moved decidedly down-market, making rayon scarves with garish chemical dyes. They shine unnaturally in the sun. At the other extreme - literally - are the boutique weavers, whose wares are magnificent but cost hundreds of dollars. I've seen the down-market trend in India, too, and it is sad to see centuries-old traditions degenerate in this way.

Since I am with a textile collecting friend, who makes any spending I do pale in comparison, I have been exposed to a lot of wonderful antique Laotian textiles - and have, alas, acquired more than I planned. They are about as scarce here as they are in Cambodia, where there was a single dealer. In response, the weavers are copying the old designs - in synthetics for the mass market and with great art at the boutiques.

Paying for things is... interesting. The official currency is the kip - there are 9600 to the dollar, but almost everyone rounds it up to 10,000 and pays in dollars (except for the admission to the Royal Palace, where they make you pay the extra 400 kip). The largest bill in common circulation is 5000 kip - or 50 cents. So purchases can work something like this. You ask a price. They quote it in dollars, if it is large. If you have Thai baht to get rid of, as I do (33 to 1 dollar), they convert it to baht, you pay and get change in whatever currency is handy - dollars, baht or kip. It all works smoothly as long as you keep the bills in your pocket straight, because 1000 baht is $33 while 1000 kip is 10 cents. Just for the hell of it, I converted $20 to kip when I arrived and got a wad of bills that I considered keeping. I have seen 20,000 and even 50,000 kip bills but they are so rare that the chances of screwing up and using a big bill is large. Needless to say, kip are not convertible, so you need to get rid of them before you leave. There is a single international ATM in Vientiane and only the larger shops take Visa.

We had a reservation for a wonderful boutique hotel here - but when we arrived, we found that they had messed up the reservation and had one room instead of three. Virtually everything in town is booked, so our only option was a $40/night guest house down the street - all very clean, with private bath but... basic. Where I was counting on three nights overlooking the Mekong from my balcony, I'm now in a room barely wider than my bed. We don't spend much time there. The most senior manager of the good hotel is French and he made himself scarce when the problem arose, leaving his Laotian manager to deal with us. We wondered what they would have done if there were no rooms, since they admitted the error was theirs. So much for booking the good places in July! In any case, they told us that we could come there for breakfast - which we'd pay for - but today they seemed to have forgotten. The 4 New Yorkers, ahem, won. We plan to be back tomorrow for their excellent croissants.

Our hotel in Vientiane was new and owned by an Aussie. It was on a dirt road at the end of town, overlooking the Mekong (whose bed people were walking on, because it is dry). Vientiane is a small city - 3 km to the most important temple, which is pretty much across town. There's really nothing to see so we shopped - antique silk textiles and various things in the "Morning Market." It has a pleasant, lazy feel.

The differences between Cambodia and Laos are stark. Cambodia is an ancient culture made new by the destruction of the Khmer Rouge and the wounds are recent and show. There are many beggars, amputees and a despair born of poverty, trauma and the opportunities tourist wealth present. Laos has a repressive Communist government but it was not ripped apart. There is a great deal of rural poverty but, in the cities, the people look healthy and well fed. And there are very rich people, like one of the textile dealers in Vientiane, who manage to prosper regardless of who is in charge.

There is almost no traffic in Vientiane - our hotel owner said that people were earning enough money to start buying motorbikes and cars. But that makes no sense, because bicycles don't disappear over night and there were none. Nor were there any beggars, so you wonder what the government is doing to create a good impression for tourists. But this is the type of information that you need to goggle back home because the Vientiane Times is about as informative as the government newspaper in Syria was. Laos also has that other hallmark of totalitarian societies: internal immigration. Even though you're not leaving the country, you need to go through a "control" so they know everywhere you are.

Our hotel owner also shared with us the environmental damage tourism is causing in Angkor Wat (Siem Reap) - it is sucking out all the groundwater, which has to happen given the heat and the sheer number of showers thousands of tourists take each day. He said that one of the temples (probably a minor one) had collapsed into a sinkhole. Considering that Florida has a similar problem with groundwater due to over-development - there, the aquifer is filling with salt water - it is hard to blame it all on the backwardness of the government. But tourism at Angkor Wat is really out of control - we're glad we saw it but we're really glad we're gone and never have to go back.

Well, folks, this is probably "it" for this trip - one more day in Laos and then I fly to Bangkok and then home (for a 24 hour ordeal starting with a flight to Korea that leaves at 1:30 AM). I have about 2GB of photos - that's about 900 - and I've been editing as I go, so it will be a while before I figure out which 50 I will post, and edit them. Trust me, that will NOT be my first priority when I get home. The only good thing about this trip is that we paid cash for pretty much everything so no ugly credit card statements to come - just an ugly bank statement... Depending upon time and inclination, I may edit these posts, and turn them into something more coherent - but, then, I may not.

Laos: One Mo' Time
"Today is a day that is filled with surprises. Nobody knows what's going to happen." Was this a Mousekateers song? It was something Disney from childhood. And it was also my last day in Laos.

Up at dawn to see the giving of the alms to the monks - easy because today the monk-gong-alarm went off at 6:45, not what seemed to be 5AM yesterday. This alarm is sounded by a giant drum at every monetary - including the one opposite our guesthouse. Since I was up anyhow, I threw on clothes - and a down jacket, because mornings are brisk - and grabbed my camera. Many clicks later, back to my room and then out for a pre-breakfast wander. Yes, folks, it is true - your pal up and out long before noon on a non-work day. But, then, I'm in bed by 11.

I spent the morning visiting whatever amazing temple I was near (the last one is called "Wat That" for short - this is not a joke) and just wandering down whatever lane I came upon. There are still traditional style houses here, made of wood - but all of them have "modernized" and replaced their traditional roofs for galvanized tin, which must be unimaginably hot.

Around 4 I split from the gang and wandered off for more shooting. On the street along the Mekong I passed a Hebrew/English sign - yes, the Hassids are here. I walked past it again a few minutes later and there was a Westerner in traditional Hassidic dress smoking and chatting with his wife. I know that the Hassids are everywhere but which stray Jews they plan to bring into the fold here, in Luang Prabang, is...unclear. Well, the Christians had there day, perhaps with as little results.

I ended up at a temple that I seem to have missed and went into the courtyard, to the sound of monks chanting. As I sat outside listening, a monk-in-training came over to chat. He is 20, the youngest of 9 children from a farm in Northern Laos. He has completed two years of monastic college, with 3 more to go. This temple has 34 students - some young, some in high school, some in college. We talked for a while and when it was time for me to go, I gave him my email address because he was first learning computers. He then told me that he'd like to give me something - a bracelet. These are strings of various colors tied around your wrist with a blessing. You wear them until they fall off. I sat there waiting for him to return - and then his friend said that I should go inside the monk dorm to get the bracelet. Hmm... No, no, it is OK - so I went. He tied a bracelet onto each wrist, showed me photos of his family (his mother is my age) and then asked me if I'd like him to pray for me. Now... what would YOU say? Of course, the answer was "yes." He told me that it would take 5 minutes. OK. Then he told me I needed to close my eyes. Hmm... OK. I was sitting cross-legged on the floor with him sitting opposite me. He then told me that this was, uh, the wrong position. I should have my feet flat on the floor and my legs up, knees wide apart. And I should recline ALL the way back on the pile of quilts on the floor. At that point, I got up, explaining that I REALLY needed to meet my friends - and exited, stage left. I did not take the time to tie my sneakers until I was down the street (you remove your shoes in Laotian homes) I guess hormones trump vows when you're 20.

Laughing, I went for a 1 hour foot massage ($4), which is blissful if not the type of luxury we expect - and then immediately to the Internet cafe to rely this tale. Since it is evening, the place is, of course, filled with saffron robed monks...

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China 2005

Planning
I bought maps and read guidebooks. I merged with my PC, absorbed in travel site postings. I found hotels but, oddly, could not get a sense of the cities, because the information in the guidebooks is grouped by types of attractions, not neighborhoods. I would figure it out when I got there.

But what about language? I’ve been to almost 50 countries and never had a problem – pantomime gets me pretty far. I happened upon a Mandarin phrasebook and flipped through it to see what Lonely Planet thought was essential to communicate. And then I found the “romance” chapter:

Kiss me

I want to make love to you.

Do you have a condom?

I won’t do it without protection.

It’s my first time.

Touch me here.

Do you like this?

Oh yeah!

Easy tiger!

Faster/slower/harder/softer

That was amazing/weird/wild

I love you

I don’t know about you but, if this an appropriate situation to use a phrasebook...

The next phrase could only be the launchpad for yet another generation writing about their dysfunctional childhoods:

Will you live with me/marry me?

I guess there are trips where your luggage contains nothing but a clean tee shirt and a case of condoms. I would have done much better in college French if we learned vocabulary like this and not “Ou est la Rue de la Paix?”

Beijing
I won't talk about the monuments (although I will admit that I'll miss "The Wall" due to a combination of snobbery (the nearest section is to be avoided) and a bad airplane cold). Instead, I will focus, as I always do, on the living culture, trying to puzzle out what I've read and draw conclusions about what I'm seeing. After 3 days, a China expert. Ahem...

When you look at a map, the city seems manageable - I can walk to the Forbidden City from my hotel, how far can the other sites be? The answer is: you can't begin to imagine how vast Beijing is. Taxis are cheap and plentiful, allowing me to avoid the subway in favor of being driven from point to point. Which is how I discover that the maps lie. Point A to Point B takes 30 minutes, without traffic, and involves going on internal highways, off them and on to others. And it isn't just the size of the city - it is the size of everything you pass. Buildings on steroids. Buildings that make Albert Speer's intentions positively modest. Endless buildings of such size. And many more under construction.

Construction has been China's byline for years now, but the 2008 Olympics has Beijing in an absolute frenzy. The main shopping street south of Tienanmen Square is marked for demolition - all the stores have sheet metal in front of them, bringing back memories of New York's iron curtains. Apparently, they intend to demolish - and rebuild it - by 2008. I'm not sure what will arise - one building has a faded billboard of modern apartment blocks. 34th St is probably the best analogy - although 5th Avenue below 42nd is probably the same.

Running parallel to this already broad street is a narrow lane crowded with small shops and shoppers, edging one of Beijing's most historic shopping districts. I can't imagine that it will survive.

Immediately to the west of this is one of the hutong quarters, the lanes lined with one storey courtyard homes where people lived for as long as 800 years. These quarters contain the soul of old Beijing (this particular area housed the craftsmen for the Forbidden City), they also lack indoor plumbing and many other amenities. The houses have been apportioned amongst workgroups, so a family inhabits only part of one. Mao lived here before he became Chairman. In view of China's recent history, there was no opportunity for decades of evolution, as happened in the equally run down historic areas in Europe. But, then, the Asian way seems to be to obliterate its heritage only to realize how much has been lost once it is gone, as Singapore has.

Due to the soaring price of land, thousands of homes are being demolished annually despite the predictable protests of intellectuals. The streets are filled with gaping wounds where hutongs once stood. Residents are forcibly resettled to vast, soulless developments with all mod cons far out in the suburbs. People who, for centuries, lived touching the earth will now inhabit slices of the sky. What does it mean to live in a country this ancient which will soon have no past?

I walked along, idealistically thinking that a third way is needed here, as visions of the South Bronx danced in my head. And then I found the single word that describes Beijing for me: Koyaanisqatsi- life out of balance. And all in one place, in a short period of time.

I wondered, as I have several times since I arrived, what it is to live in a society where the rules change so drastically and so frequently. To think about the Cultural Revolution and then the encouragement of capitalism is only one part of it. On top of that are changes in family structure (the one child rule) and the total destruction - again - of your home, again, with much of what you own destroyed and, again, being forced to abandon your home for a place in the country side, this time by Communist capitalists, not the Red Guards. While we think of America as a culture of extremes - anorexia or obesity - we don't come close to the Chinese experience. Think about how crazy we get when we find out that some diet or supplement or medicine is bad for us and try to imagine what it would be to have all of our values changed every few decades. What goes on inside the heads of people here who are my age? Fortunately, this is a culture with a deep value in conformity, which probably helps people deal with this - but still...

I spent a lot of time looking for, and at, “minority” Chinese textiles, which are made in south west China. There are about 55 minority groups, with hundreds if not thousands of sub-groups. The vast majority of people in China are Han, so everyone else is a minority. But, here I will exclude “minority” groups like the Tibetans for personal as well as political reasons (When I went through Canadian customs in Vancouver, the young agent asked whether I’d ever been to China before. I told him that I had been to Tibet and Hong Kong. If he wanted to consider these China, then I’d been there twice. Otherwise, I had not been there at all. He understood.)

The embroideries and weavings were unavailable until the last few decades so they are far more affordable than comparable pieces from other parts of the world. They are also astonishing in the fineness of the work and their visual impact. Because they are relatively new to the market, there are not many books about them, at all, and even fewer in English. I saw piles of baby carriers and baby hats in the 80’s but the material that was coming out then, while now highly collected, wasn’t my taste.

I went to the Sunday “dirt” market, foolishly believing the guidebook that I should arrive at dawn. I was sick, it was freezing and the market was first setting up. I watched vendors push carts and ride cycle powered carts filled with huge bales of goods. They set up in the way common to all traditional cultures: here the minority textiles, there the Tibetans, over there the pottery and, in the back, the books. Some of it under a vast, open shed. Other parts, unsheltered. I knew that much of what was being offered was either fake or tourist items but assumed that there would be a few worthwhile things among the dross.

The minority textile dealers are all women. They wore a mix of tribal and modern clothing, with the distinguishing item being a sort of cross between a head wrap and a cap. Their goods were laid out on very low platforms or hung across the back of their small stalls. My knees got a workout as I repeatedly squatted or sat on stools less than 8 inches high.

I spent 6 hours looking and, while there wasn’t much, I did find a few good, old things – one piece may be much better than I realized. The women were surprised that I knew enough to venture guesses about the tribal origins of a piece or to ask whether they had anything from a particular area. Since no one spoke English and my pronunciation of these names was often incomprehensible to them, this was a rather hit and miss proposition. Also, I don’t know how much some of these women know about what they are selling – either everything is “Miao” perhaps the largest textile producing group – or it is whatever you’re asking for. But that is part of the fun of buying this way. I upped the ante by buying mostly things I had never seen before so I could learn from my research into the item’s origin, as I have so often done before.

The guidebooks advised against credit cards so I had traveler’s cheques and $1,000 in Yuan distributed liberally around my body. I have some strapped above my left calf, some above my right calf, some in the money belt at my waist and some in my pocket. When I pay for things, the dealers watch me and laugh approvingly, patting the area between their breasts where their money lies safe. It is at times like these when the boundaries vanish and we become just a bunch of middle aged women dealing with the same realities in the same ways. When I ran out of cash, I went to the ATM conveniently located at the entrance to the market – fortunately it took international cards. I replenished my cash in increments of $250, and returned home to find that I had been charged $9.00 for each withdrawal.

While I was at one stall, the seller having reluctantly stopped chatting on her cell phone to deal with me, an American voice said hello in English. I looked up to see a major New York textile dealer standing next to me. He did not buy at the market but had known the women for decades and spoke their language fluently. When I saw him a few weeks later, at the Tribal Arts show on Park Avenue, he told me that he would send me a photo he took of me rummaging through the piles.

The Chinese LOVE their cell phones as much as we do - based upon what I read several years ago, cell phone use was being encouraged by the government because it didn't require the hard wired infrastructure that developed in other countries over the last century. They also LOVE digital cameras and spend their travels taking pictures of one another in front of various sights, the way the Japanese do. Admittedly, the places I've been are the more affluent parts of China but, still, this stuff is expensive. It is also interesting to see how they've adapted the technology. When I was in northern Thailand in the 80's, I bargained with tribal women in the night market. Now, these women didn't speak Thai and spoke a language that has no written version. So... how did they set prices? By punching the number into a calculator, which I thought was pretty amazing at the time. In 2006, the traders in the markets punch the numbers into their cell phones, and you punch your counter offer in afterwards (some still use calculators).

At work, we're very proud that we use "voice over IP" (the internet) to make phone calls. Such calls can be made at every phone stand in China- they are much cheaper then traditional calls. This technology has become more widespread for long distance/international calls in America in the last few years, but here they have signs saying "IP" everywhere.

There was still a lot of market to cover but the food options were limited and unappealing so I returned to my hotel to collapse and inspect my loot.

Tomorrow night I'll be on an overnight train to Shuzhou, a city with classical gardens that is close to Shanghai.

At least today was warm with no sand blowing around - yesterday was frigid and windy. I, like a number of the locals, wear a dust mask outdoors.

Shanghai, a city that any real New Yorker will love - it has an energy to it, the energy of new money and new comers trying, with all their hearts, to make it in this most competitive of cities. Creatively, it shares the energy of Berlin and Barcelona - cities reviving, filled with art and architecture and food. Since my last e-mail, I've been to Suzhou, a small (in Chinese terms) city filled with formal gardens. I fell in love with the Garden of The Master of The Nets, which is the smallest and the most beautiful. While formally very different from Japanese Zen gardens, this garden consciously manipulates scale and perception the way those do. It is an amazing blend of intellect and artistry. After taking an overnight train from Beijing, I spent two more nights in Suzhou, with one day trip to the water town of Zhouzhaung.

The trip from the train to the old town in Zhouzhaung is by cycle rickshaw taxi, the only transportation for hire. $1.25 is the fare each way and you get out to walk over the incline to the bridge. I’d heard that ZZ was very touristy – but, when I got inside (there is an entry gate and a fee) I found Katmandu redux! Every single building had a restaurant or a shop in it, totally destroying the ambiance of the place. It was teeming with tourists, primarily Chinese - and this was still low season! I can't imagine what it is like this week, the 3 day May Day holiday, when everyone in China who can travel does (think about that for a minute). There are 4 million visitors to Shanghai this week.

It takes an hour to go by train from Suzhou to Shanghai, so I didn't care whether I would travel "hard seat" or "soft seat" - how much worse than the subway could it be. Well... let's just say that it makes New Yorkers look like models for cleanliness. This train originated somewhere far away and, by the time I got on, near the end of its journey, the car was, literally, ankle deep in debris. Just before we reached Shanghai, they came through and swept and mopped - feet up, everyone. I could not believe how much stuff they swept up. The soft class sleeper I took was nothing like this - 3 Chinese businessmen and me. Admittedly, vastly more expensive ($50 vs. $2) - but a much more familiar experience.

It is very hard to find people who speak any English - for the first time in all my travels I've had to use my "point at a picture" booklet a few times when ordering meals. That does not stop English from being used everywhere - signs, posters, stores, T-shirts - with the expected mangled results (much like our use of Japanese characters on clothing). Thus, some of the toiletries in my room were not free, and they went to great lengths to make that clear. In addition to plastering the price everywhere on them, they tried to make the point linguistically - and came up with "uncomplimentary - 10RMB" I spent some time trying to figure out what I would have written and realized that, even for a native English speaker, this one was a challenge. But then there was the handbag in Beijing, styled after a baseball shirt - 69 "pecker power."

The pollution in Shanghai (and Suzhou) is bad, but no where like what it was in Beijing. When I checked the Shanghai newspaper on-line, it was predicting sandstorms for Beijing, so I guess that what I read before I came is a reality. I can't imagine how they're going to clean up the air in time for the 2008 Olympics in Beijing- or set up the infrastructure needed to deal with hordes of non-Chinese speakers. NONE of the signs are in Roman letters and no one speaks English, so how will they cope with all the languages? I know how much trouble I had finding my train in Beijing- I got to the right section of this huge station, but then couldn't find the right platform. The Chinese don't use their fingers to show numbers the way we do - they have a different system that involves things like crossing the fingers of two hands. So, for the first time ever, sign language didn't help. I was sent from gate to gate and, when I thought I'd exhausted the options (there were 8 gates), one gatekeeper indicated that I was at the right place - he pointed to the sign which was on the floor while another one, for the train on the other track, hung at the gate. And I'm an experienced traveler!

Because many old houses for the workers lack indoor plumbing, public toilets are everywhere. You notice them first on houtong streets in Beijing. But then you start to notice them everywhere - in Suzhou, they're even indicated on the tourist map (which is in Chinese). Which makes for an informative cultural commentary: they spit in public (indoor and outdoor) places while far too many of us use these places as toilets. I am sure that, if I told anyone here that the NY government has been debating, for 25 years, where to put their first "on the street" public toilets, they'd think we're nuts (hmmm...). And how would I even explain the way our businesses protect their toilets from the masses?

The guidebook says that China has the world's worst traffic fatality rate - 600 people a day die in a country where there are relatively few cars. I read similar statistics about India when I first went there, 30+ years ago. But I'm not sure how much meaning these statistics have - they need to be adjusted for the size of the population. 600 deaths a day is one thing in China and another in say, Luxembourg
.
That not-with-standing, crossing streets in China does keep one on one's toes. These seem to be the rules: cars have the right of way, a red light means that the right lane can turn without stopping, bicycles and scooters often go the other way on a one way street - and go on the sidewalk when needed. And the Chinese notion of passing and turning is... breathtaking. Based upon all of this, I've concluded that the green "walk" man at street corners really means "the probability that you're going to die crossing the street right now has been reduced but in no way eliminated." You look ALL ways when crossing. And they've just enhanced the experience: there are now displays that count down the seconds left until a light turns red or green, so you know exactly how fast you have to sprint to make it safely across. Let me not even comment upon the way they drive - let it suffice to say that we should be very, very happy that Chinese immigrants don't become taxi drivers in NY.

Now, for all of that, crossing a street here is still vastly easier then it is in other places, notably, Iran, where I never mastered it. I used to wait for Iranians to cross and walk with them, because I couldn't figure out how to do it. I seem to remember Bangkok as being...challenging, but that was a long time ago.

Think I should take the guidebook's advice to rent a bike and take some leisurely tours of the city?

The big “antiques” market in Shanghaiis in the Old (Chinese) City. Here the stalls are in buildings and often spill out to onto the sidewalk. There is lots of pure tourist stuff, a smattering of things worthy of eBay and all sorts of fakes. The minority textiles for sale aren’t as good as in Beijing but I’m still able to buy a couple of things. The dealers wear the same headpieces as in Beijing– I wonder whether they are from the same tribe.

There is a small antiques street nearby, with a mixture of shops and staffs, where I find wonderful things. The dealers do not speak English but one of the local regulars, an 81 year old man named Peter, is fluent. He lives nearby – on “Toilet Street” (see what I mean about the public toilet thing in China?) and, after helping me bargain (and perhaps earning himself a commission), tells me his story.

During the War of Liberation (which it takes me a while to realize is WWII) he worked for the American Army as a translator. He then worked for the Post Office. During the Cultural Revolution, he, and some of his co-workers, were called in for questioning. He managed to answer in a way that spared him punishment. One of his colleagues got the dunce cap and re-education in the countryside. Another got the dunce cap and committed suicide in despair. Now he is retired and his 30 year old granddaughter works for an American multi-national, earning the excellent salary of $1,500 a month. Since is she 30 years old, unmarried and “neither pretty nor ugly,” a salary this high further reduces her chances. I explain to her grandfather that some things are universal.

I think of all the social and economic changes he has had to survive: the waning days of the old regime, the Japanese occupation, Communism, Cultural Revolution, and now capitalism. At first I think of how extraordinary it is to have lived through such massive changes in values – until my old friend, a world view, reminds me that massive changes were the reality of so many people in the 20th Century. For some, there was immigration. Perhaps brought on by unimaginable wartime horrors, life constrained by dangerous ideologies and, for the lucky, unimaginable affluence in an alien land. We need to remember how extraordinary and ordinary life is.

Bye, Bye Shanghai

I leave for home tonight at 4:45, so this is one of those days when I've seen pretty much everything that I wanted to and really have nothing to do until I check out and leave for the airport - so I really have no excuse not to write.

The thought of a total of 17 hours in the air is like thinking about going into an induced coma, but one where the anesthetic doesn't work too well. In view of what the food was like on Air Canada coming over, and the low likelihood that there will be great sandwiches at the airport, it may be a long, hungry time. I'm actually hoping that there is a McDonald's or Kentucky Fried Chicken, those two staples of the urban Chinese diet.

True New Yorkers can only love Shanghai - because neither city bears any real resemblance to the country it happens to be located in. Shanghai is like an adolescent in those awkward stages of growth - some parts more sophisticated than others, growing at an uneven rate. But an adolescent with a long, tawdry history. At one point, it had the highest ratio of prostitutes to citizens of any country in the world.

The two classical attractions in Shanghai, the Bund, which is filled with 1930’s commercial buildings, and the gardens in the Old Town are two places I did not get to see. They were so mobbed that I couldn't even get close in a taxi. After all, about 4 million visitors came to Shanghai for the labor day holiday - and this is where they're hanging out. (It is ironic that May 1 has become the Chinese national labor day holiday – the holiday started as a result of labor unrest in Chicago and spread to the rest of the world.)

I am staying in this wonderful old boutique hotel in the French Concession, the pretty part of town where the Europeans lived in the first part of the last century, filled with decaying villas, parks and tree-lined streets. It is where the expat bars, boutiques and brunch places are.

The hotel was built by an English Jew - or a Swede (depending upon whether you believe the guide book or the captions in the hotel) for his daughter, who wanted a castle. It is really an amazing place and is on the walking tour lists of every guide to the city. Atypically, I went upscale in my room reservation and am very glad that I did. I have this huge room with a large bay window, window seat, two other window bays, inlaid floors - it is just the place to spend a week in this town and, not really that expensive. I could have stayed for half the price but, since I'm here for a week, I'm glad to be in such an enchanting place. (One of the concierges looks like a cross between Peter Lorie and a bird that keeps ducking its head).

Shanghai is filled with expats out to ride the economic boom, as it has been for over 100 years. They are a mix - young, arty types, the global corporation gang - and a host of 50+ men. Unsurprisingly, they all have Chinese girlfriends, which is fine - except that I do have a problem with the paunchy, balding 50 (or 60) somethings with pretty young Chinese girlfriends. It isn't as bad as in Bangkok in the 80's, where the girls were prostitutes sold by their impoverished parents in the countryside and then resold into prostitution. But it still leaves a bad taste because the exchange is, on a more subtle level, economic - the women get luxuries they could otherwise not afford and a chance at winning the lottery - marriage and emigration. And the men get women they could only dream about back home. At least now I know why Lonely Planet has that section in their phrasebook. In fact, there is an entire phrasebook for sale in the Shanghai Museum’s bookstore “Making Out in Chinese.” But all of this, too, has a history that dates back to Shanghai’s days as a treaty port.

Restaurants are staffed by pretty, giggly young girls who are also brought in from the countryside. They live in dormitories attached to the restaurants. Some save their money so when it is time for them to move back to the country, they have something to show for their years in the city. Others, like immigrants everywhere, spend their salaries on luxuries unavailable to them back home.

After being in China for a week, one of the most startling sights is a Chinese family with two children (there is a one child policy). I have seen two - one with young twin boys - the family must feel very lucky to have had two boys and still be within the rules - and one brother and sister, which was the family that surprised me the most. I guess this is the effects of cultural norms in its purest form - you don't notice them until you see something that violates them. (If your first child is a girl, you can try again). I have also seen groups of Westerners with newly adopted infants, all girls of course.

Yesterday I went to Pudong, the new mega city across the river from Shanghai. It is a vast area that, until 15 years ago a mix of farmland and the old industrial port across from the Bund. It is filled with "modern" "futuristic" architecture, huge office buildings set on even bigger streets and plazas. The scale is completely inhuman and the architecture soulless. At night, the buildings light up and watching this happen at sunset from the Bund is one of the true Shanghai experiences (that I missed because of the crowds). In Pudong is the largest mall in Shanghai which has several floors of empty stores. As with most malls I've seen, the shops sell very expensive international brands and so are very boring. These luxury goods are probably bought by locals who have made fortunes in real estate speculation and are not, at all, afraid to flaunt it.

The French Concession is filled with wonderful architecture - a combination of mews lined with 2 storey houses and large villas, the type you'd find in Forest Hills Gardens. Most of these are decaying, which is sad. Architectural preservation is a new concept here and battles have been fought over a few areas - one being an upscale area filled with boutiques.

On some level, I suspect that the Chinese government’s view of people is that they are units, not individuals. Thus, they get stacked into huge, factory like buildings in Beijing or into the new satellite towns being built outside of Shanghai. The model for China may be Singapore, very economically successful, highly regulated “nanny” totalitarian state. The famous Singapore t-shirt has a series of "don't" symbols on the front, because you can be fined for everything from failing to flush the toilet, walking around your home without clothing, eating on the subway, chewing gum - you get the idea.

The central government is trying to balance difficult pressures. On one hand, overseas Chinese, who are a major economic force here, push the government for economic reforms, which they require to invest the considerable money they do in China. On the other hand, the government is extremely aware of rural poverty and dissatisfaction. People in the West think that this is solely the result of losing the benefits of a Communist economy. It is not – there is a long history of peasant unrest in China that the government is all too aware of. Similarly, rural outrage at corruption has roots that pre-date, and helped bring about, Communism. In China, the instability caused by War Lords set the stage for Mao. In Afghanistan, they gave rise to the Taliban. The American government may not understand how common these causes and effects are but I suspect that the Chinese government does.

The food in Shanghai is better than that in Beijing- Shanghaiis noted for its foodies - it also has many foreign restaurants, probably to serve the expats and the wealthy Shanghaiese. But ordering is tricky. A major indicator of a society based on affluence and one based on poverty is what parts of things they eat. There is an old joke that the Chinese eat every part of the pig except the "oink" and this is true. While sometimes it is hard to figure out what something on a menu is, because of the impossible translation, at other times what is being served is very clear - and you'd never consider it: duck's tongues, fish heads, chicken feet, pig trotters (the local favorite in Suzhou), intestine, heart, sea slugs, silk cocoons - you get the idea. Because in China "Chinese" means a lot more than what we think of, I've gone to Uygir restaurants (Muslims from China's far West) where the diet included camel's hoof casserole, various species of penis in soy and the legendary camel's eye(ball). Now my question is: where do they get the raw materials? There aren't any camels in Shanghai and I can't imagine that they get flown in daily like Beaujolais does to meet the demands of the waiting crowds. Kind of makes you think that their freezer resembles Idi Amin's - only his were filled with human heads.

Even when you do order something that looks safe, it often ends up being...interesting. A chicken dish will contain lots of necks and other unidentifiable parts - in fact, you'll see people eating chicken on a stick on the streets and the thing has parts attached that are far beyond wings, thighs and breasts.

The way you can tell that you're in an upscale part of a Chinese city is by the restaurants: McDonald's, Hagen Daz, Starbucks, Pizza Hut and, everywhere, Kentucky Fried Chicken. They are mobbed - Starbucks being quite the status symbol, with prices comparable to those in America. Thus, long after the Opium War spurred widespread addiction in China, globalization will give them the same rates of heart disease and diabetes that we have in the West.

I am very happy for the Starbucks in Suzhou, because it gives me a place to hang out – small cities everywhere – and not just in the developing world – tend to lack charm (“small” being relative in China). Starbucks sells a “Suzhou City Mug” which is part of their global City Mug series.

You can identify someone from the countryside by their size - tiny. For these girls, the size 0 in our shops would be too big. However, in Shanghai, people are much larger - there are probably any number of size 6 women, and taller too. Obesity is also becoming a problem in China, in part due to the "one child" policy, so every child is treated like royalty by the family, and also by changes in the urban diet.

I have not been watching TV in Shanghai because there's no point - everything is in Chinese, and, what isn't, is propaganda. There is simply no news in China and watching what pretends to be news is strange. You hear about trade pacts with Egypt, Nigeria and state visits to them - of course, Nigeria is valued for its oil, so there will be millions in financial aide. Every newscast of this type talks about how they've endorsed the one China policy - in other words, Taiwan should be re-united. And then there was the discussion of terrorist preparation drills involving Tajikistan, Russia and China, a grouping that gives one pause. When the newscaster is admitting that there may be international criticism of military drills, she includes "separatist movements" as part of the justification - the western Chinese Muslims, who knows who in Tajikistan, etc. This is what I mean by insidious - it isn't the gross propaganda of the old days but something newer, subtler.

The crisis of the week in Shanghai involves... weddings. 30,000 of them in a week. There are not enough emcees or cars, so the government sprang into action to start crash training courses for emcees, who may work up to 5 weddings a day. There are two reasons for the crunch - this is the May Day (Labor Day) holiday week, so people can travel long distances to a wedding, and it is the Year of the Dog, a lucky year that caused people to postpone weddings from last year to this one - thus there will be 150,000 weddings in Shanghai this year. You see happy couples, brides in long white gowns, everywhere - and I can forget long, slow lunches outdoors at my hotel or the others in the French Concession because they're booked for weddings.

For some people, the Year of the Dog must not be lucky - the government is cracking down on employers who won't hire people who were born in the year of the dog because it conflicts with their birth year - think Gemini and Scorpio. (There is another form of discrimination going on in Hunan province - employers won't hire women who don't have symmetrical breasts - how do they know this at an interview?). The government is taking steps to end both types of discrimination.

For all the years of Communism, religion and other non-scientific beliefs remain strong in the Chinese culture. Feng Shui is everywhere in the design of buildings. The Mall of China in Pudong has a shrine outside it.

Counterfeiting is so prevalent that it is nonsense to think about intellectual property here - there is a huge market that looks like Canal Street writ large. And all sorts of things are counterfeited, including Brooklyn Industrees, Sport Sac, Agnes B - these names are randomly put on to everything, and are often mis-spelled. There is not any resemblance at all to the goods being sold by these major brands. Of course, there are other shops selling really good copies of the latest fashions - I found a strip of them in Suzhou. The funny part is that there are huge signs and banners at the entrance to the biggest fakes markets that piously intone about copying - that the government doesn't shut these markets down speaks to their real attitude.

Gotta go - half hour until checkout and the tailor still hasn't come with my jackets, which should have been here 90 minutes ago. I'm all packed - assuming the jackets will fit into my bulging suitcase.

The Flight
Jackets arrive on a motorbike and I’m off to the airport. After spending so much time in taxis, I’ve developed the habit of napping along the endless streets. I routinely sit in the front seat, the only one with a seat belt – and a much better position for showing the driver my destination, written in Chinese. Unlike NY taxis, which have a thick, and lethal, barrier between the front seat and the back, Chinese taxi drivers are wrapped in Plexiglas and metal cages, which I need to push maps and money through.
Getting to the right destination gets complicated.

I am traveling with three maps of Shanghai, a guidebook and photocopies of pages from other guidebooks. Each has something different written in Chinese. On one map, the major streets. On another, sights. In one book, shop names and complete destinations. In another, just the names. Things work pretty well when I’m off to a major tourist site, but things fall off rapidly when I’m searching for an obscure, arty destination – even if I have one of the ubiquitous Chinese/English business cards, which come complete with little maps.

The problem is not only figuring out which of my travel aides has what thing written in Chinese but also how much the driver knows about the City. As in New York, every taxi driver has a license posted – here, on the right dashboard. These documents have two invaluable pieces of information: the license number, and stars. The lower the number, the more experienced the driver. The more stars, the better the driver’s English skills. At least in theory.

When a low star, high number driver is paired with, say, the converted warehouse/art gallery complex north of the center, on the river, I despair. Odds are, the driver has just arrived from the countryside and hasn’t a clue that this world famous complex even exists. At which point he takes out his maps, and starts investigating. At some point he (or, very infrequently, she) shows a glimmer of comprehension, and we’re off. 10 or 20 minutes later, with much going on and off of Shanghai’s internal highways and 10 lane local streets, we generally arrive – I haven’t clue about whether the driver intentionally took the Mongolian detour but, since no ride ever cost more than $2.50, I really don’t care, other then to be amazed that a destination that didn’t look so far on the map took so long to get to. Maybe
Shanghai and Beijing are reasonable sized but I am being given the bumpkin route. Who knows?
The government has brought in many drivers from the countryside. The over-supply has caused the wages of experienced drivers to plummet. These drivers are angry and talk of a strike is in the air.

Just before I arrived in Shanghai, the government launched an anti-jaywalking campaign – shades of Rudy Giuliani! Citizens are being asked to photograph violators with their cell phones so the culprits can be tracked down at work and publicly shamed. Now, millions of people live and work in Shanghai. 95% of the people are Han Chinese, which means that, relative to other Chinese nationalities, they look alike. So how is this supposed to work? Everyone email their blurry snapshots of Chin and Wang scurrying across an intersection to the authorities, where they figure out who the person is?

After joining the long line at the Air Canada counter, I pull out my e-ticket and notice that I’m supposed to be at the airport 2 ½ hours before the flight, which, by sheer chance, I am (I also notice that the reporting time for India is 3 hours, which makes eminent sense to me). My fellow travelers have packed the most enormous suitcases I have ever seen. They can’t possibly be within any allowable weight limit. A few also have truly enormous packages (one looks like a pane of glass, another is the size of a small surfboard) which are generally marked “fragile.” The person ahead of me in line has a box of crockery that doesn’t quite fit into the Styrofoam box it is strapped into. The line moves at a reasonable pace – this trip has many unsophisticated travelers, who take longer – but probably no longer than the usual “entitled” American.

There are, perhaps, 40 people in line ahead of me. And then a large group of 30-something Chinese men arrive and cut in ahead of me. When I look accusingly at them, one man, who had been in line already, holds up an armful of passports. A group. Wonderful. As the line progresses, we discover that we need some soft of form and each of us goes dashing to a counter across the terminal to grab one. I’ll never understand how they expect someone to find these things, much less know they exist.
When finally checked in, I go to convert my Yuan back to dollars. I have a huge wad of Yuan because the largest bill is 100 ($12.50) and I changed $2,000, much of which I didn’t spend because Visa cards are more widely accepted in Shanghai. With copies of my “convert dollars to Yuan” receipts in hand, I breeze through, not commenting that, somehow, the exchange worked out to the fraction of a Yuan coin – which never, ever, happens. I wonder how much the Bank of China – or the clerk – earns annually through these bits of change.

As I am about to walk away, a European man with a Bank of China savings account book (remember those?) and a suitcase goes up to the window to make a withdrawal. The clerk explains that they don’t do withdrawals at the airport and he’ll need to go to a branch “outside.” I watch the panic in his eyes. He has an international flight to catch – and no money. I’ve seen this at the Bulgarian/Yugoslav border, where a Spanish tourist was going to be left for lack of the one dollar visa fee (which he had, but in pesetas) and in Rome, when the banks in the airport arrivals terminal were closed for the May Day holiday, leaving tourists without money to get into town.

Once I clear the exit formalities, I’m off in search of my gate and food for the flight. The distance to my gate should be measured in miles. It is, of course, the very last one in my wing of the terminal. This is a phenomenon I’m very familiar with - my gate, platform or hotel room is always be the one at the furthest end of the hall. How can that be – it defies probability theory. But it is, and I ignore the mobile walkway so I can better search for something to eat on the plane. $4 buys you a tin of Pringles, with change in Yuan. After realizing that there truly is no sustenance available, I start talking with the two Irish civil engineers at my gate. They are appalled by two things: that Air Canada served “add water” noodles as a meal on the flight over – and that I read the Times on-line that morning instead of going for a beer. I had to break the news that this is how New York Jews behaved.

Once on-board, an announcement (in English, French and Mandarin) is made asking us not to change seats because we will unbalance the plane. The crew then lists the languages they speak, including “Irish.”

It was a long flight.

Afterword
I added to this when I got home, guiltily trying to make up for the days squandered without writing. But I’m won’t spend weeks re-reading, editing and polishing this. These are emails.

So you, dear friend, gentle reader, and I, New York obsessive, need to just get over it.

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"It Looks Like Albany" (I said that - and derailed the first set of plans for rebuilding Ground Zero)

Listening to the City
NY Times Editorial July 23, 2002

The TV cameras at the Javits Convention Center last Saturday showed a cavernous room filled with almost 5,000 New Yorkers, many shaking their heads or nodding or sketching towers in the air with their hands. What a television picture could not show was how these participants were breathing life into the process of rebuilding Lower Manhattan.

Public participation in the design of public space in New York City is too often confined to the streets or the courts. On this singular occasion, people who cared urgently about what happens to the World Trade Center site had a chance to respond without staging a demonstration or filing suit. It was a heartening experience, as urban planners and secretaries, out-of-work actors and construction workers registered their veto of the first six designs and offered counsel about what should replace them. The Regional Plan Association deserves congratulations for organizing this event.

New Yorkers, of course, cannot speak in one voice and their suggestions were sometimes contradictory. But they are clear about some things. They want an "inspired vision." They want "a new heart for New York City." They did not like these plans because there was too much commercial space and nothing monumental. One group added the final insult: It "looks like Albany." As inspiring as it was to hear so many thoughtful opinions, the real test of an event called "Listening to the City" is whether the authorities were actually listening.

Even plans for WTC include a jab at city
Albany -- Officials stand up for Albany in face of a history of put-downs
Albany Times Union, July 27, 2002

Albany just can't get no respect. First, it was Ed Koch making cracks about the city and gingham dresses. Then Dave Letterman wondered why anyone would hop a high-speed train to Albany.

Now, those viewing proposals for the World Trade Center site took a swipe at the Capital City.

About 5,000 New Yorkers gathered at the Jacob K. Javits Convention Center last Saturday to comment on six site ideas. When one plan went up, the remark, "It looks like Albany," flashed across the screen. The crowd roared.

But no one here is laughing.

"It's unfortunate that people don't have a real good perspective on our city. It's our state capital," Mayor Jerry Jennings said Friday. "What we called the South Mall, when it was built, was one of the largest construction projects in the world at the time and was very well received from all corners, from an urban planning perspective, for its architecture, for its design."

Elizabeth Griffin, executive director of Historic Albany Foundation, adds, "You can say what you want about" the Empire State Plaza, "but the architecture says so much about the society that built it. It's a record of who we were, and it says a lot about who we will be." The foundation is looking into listing it on the National Register of Historic Sites.

In 1982, then-New York City Mayor Ed Koch, the front-runner in the governor's race against underdog Mario Cuomo, uttered what is probably the most famous put-down of Albany.

Koch said he wasn't going to be caught "wasting time in a pickup truck when you have to drive 20 miles to buy a gingham dress or a Sears Roebuck suit."

Shortly after Jennings was elected mayor in 1993, Letterman yakked about high-speed trains on his late-night show and took a shot at the city. "Why would anyone want to get to Albany in 55 minutes?" Jennings sent him a taped response, but Letterman never played it.

The participants at the World Trade Center planning session wanted fewer office buildings and commercial development and more schools, housing and cultural institutions. They wanted something inspiring.

Albany Assemblyman Jack McEneny thinks that mind-set was behind the slight of Albany, which just last week was puffing out its chest over plans to open a $403 million semiconductor research and development center at the University of Albany.

"It's not necessarily that they were laughing at Albany," he said. "I think people expected something spectacular of the World Trade Center, something like a memorial ... And, it opens up and it's an office complex. The (Plaza) is reasonably well known, but it's an office complex."

"They weren't going to take that for this world-class memorial of prominence and its sacred space. Are you kidding me?" he added. What is needed is "a strong, almost unprecedented statement for the people who were the victims and the heroes, and instead they were shown a government office complex."

Executive Summary, Final Report "Listening to the City"
December 23, 2002

In an extraordinary demonstration of faith in democracy and love for a great city, some 5,000 people from throughout metropolitan New York pooled their energy and talent in an historic series of public meetings and online discussions called "Listening to the City." Through these 21st Century Town Meetings - designed to give people a voice in rebuilding the World Trade Center site, New York City and the region - people strove to make a virtue of their differences by joining together to describe their visions for the future and to help each other recover from a shattering attack.

The messages generated by this committed, energized assembly - one of the largest gatherings of its kind - reached decision-makers quickly and unmistakably. People urged their leaders to think boldly, to be imaginative and above all, to chart a course that honors the victims and the heroes of September 11 with dignity. They called on government officials and planning agencies to seek ways of rebuilding not just "ground zero," but also the neighborhoods around it, the city and the thousands of lives affected by September 11 and its aftermath. And they stressed the need to make much-needed housing and transportation infrastructure improvements in Lower Manhattan and beyond.

What they asked for, indeed, was nothing less than a new downtown that is inspired in design, that mixes com¬merce, culture and homes for people of all income levels, that helps drive the region's economy and that restores the grandeur that the New York skyline lost when the Twin Towers fell.

For its participants, the size and diversity of "Listening to the City" were galvanizing. "Listening to the City" brought more than 4,300 people to the Jacob Javits Convention Center on July 20. About 200 more participated in a similar meeting on July 22. And more than 800 took part in the two week online dialogue that followed. People who might normally never meet - relatives of victims, downtown residents, survivors of September 11, emergency workers, business leaders, the unemployed and underemployed, interested citizens and community advocates - sat side-by-side and contributed myriad points of view, debated planners' redevelopment ideas and shared their hopes and concerns about how to reconstruct lives profoundly disrupted on September 11.

As John Whitehead, chairman of the Lower Manhattan Development Corporation (LMDC), observed the forum, he told the New York Daily News how much he was moved by this exercise in participatory democracy. "This is what the terrorists didn't understand," he said. "This is what they did¬n't know. It's absolutely beautiful."

"Listening to the City" participants were asked to give their thoughts about six preliminary concepts for the Trade Center site, which the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey and the LMDC unveiled days before the forum. Many criticized them as too dense, too dull and too commercial. The poor reception these concepts received reflected disappointment not only with the plans themselves, but also with their underlying premise, which seemed to produce not six different ideas but a half dozen variations on one idea. In a widely quoted comment that became the signature remark of the July 20 forum, one participant dismissed the designs by saying they all "look like Albany."

Shortly after "Listening to the City", LMDC and the Port Authority pledged that a new program will be developed.

Broken Ground: The Hole in the City's Heart (excerpt)
NY Times September 11, 2006

˜IT LOOKS LIKE ALBANY"

In a conference room overlooking the Hudson River, Mr. Betts, a tall, barrel-chested businessman wearing a blue vest with the Chelsea Piers logo, recalled the way that his sports complex was rapidly transformed on Sept. 11 into a triage center.

Right from that day I remember telling Tom that I wanted to get involved in this thing,Mr. Betts said, referring to his partner, Tom A. Bernstein.

Mr. Betts, a development corporation board member, asked its chairman, Mr. Whitehead, “to put me in charge of ground zero.” It was not long before Mr. Betts got a taste of just how difficult it would be to oversee a public project involving clashing government entities, a private developer and a grieving public.

“With 20/20 hindsight, we never should have moved forward with so many conflicting stakes on this piece of real estate,” he said. “Those people bombed the most complicated site in the state. If they had chosen the Empire State Building, there would have been no Port Authority, no Larry Silverstein. It seemed like everybody had a vested interest in ground zero.

It took more than a year to settle on a master plan. In early 2002, the Port Authority and the development corporation began the process by seeking bids from architects. And that is when it came to light that the government was treating Mr. Silverstein's lease as sacrosanct, that it wanted to replace the 10 million square feet of office space that was lost.

This was a disastrous decision, and no one could believe it, said Mr. Yaro of the Regional Plan Association.

A Manhattan architectural firm was awarded the contract and a challenge: to come up with six alternative land-use plans.

When the plans were unveiled in July 2002, critics dismissed them as uninspired. The public's response, delivered at a meeting, called "Listening to the City," that drew thousands to the Jacob K. Javits Convention Center, amounted to a Bronx cheer. What people especially condemned was the site's density, particularly the scale of the commercial square footage.

Somebody said, ˜It looks like Albany, Mr. Betts said. "That was the killer line."

In the name of democracy, the development corporation discarded the six plans and embarked on a worldwide search for a more visionary master planner.


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9/11

Exile In A Wounded City 10/10/01

The wind shifted again tonight. Even here, in my room on 23rd St. I can smell it - Ground Zero. Everyone in Manhattan recognizes the smell of burnt building materials. I am over 2 miles north but it doesn't matter - this smell prowls the night sky like a ghost, alighting at will to deny this traumatized city rest. It is a new phrase in our vocabulary: the wind shifted. Everyone knows what that means.

Over the last 3 weeks I have written to you of concrete events: being alive, being homeless, fighting the various bureaucracies and, most recently, sort of settling in. Because I write quickly, my emotional state is transparent to you. But this is what I haven't had the time or presence of mind to write, the journal that will bring you ringside to my nightmare, which will tell some of the smaller stories and the thoughts. I am writing this to share my special tale but also in an effort to get these words and thoughts out of my head. I am writing this in an effort to help my friends understand how profoundly everything has changed for those of us who live daily with this horror.

On 911 I found myself in a unique situation: everyone around me was struggling mightily to get home, walking miles to bridges and then hoping to be allowed across them. Walking. Walking. On a brilliantly clear day that first was marred by tragedy and, later, by the unfamiliar shape of F15 fighter-bombers. But where I live death and danger were. No one knew what would happen next. So I knew I could not go home, to a place of succor and safety. Instead I walked through Chelsea for hours, waiting for Gail to get home, doing errands to occupy the hours and to meet my needs: a toothbrush. Tee shirts from the Salvation Army. I had the tiny digital radio I carry in my pack so I could listen to the news. I kept circling the same blocks, eating an untasted lunch at a trendy sidewalk eatery, grateful for the beauty salon who had put a sign in its window "Please feel free to come in to use the bathroom and the telephone." I did, and stole 5 minutes on their sofa, undisturbed.

The next night, I moved to Bruce's, where I stayed for over a week. At first, going home was impossible - I'd have to walk south from 14th St and take my chances on getting in. Then they rolled the barriers back, to Canal Street, which was viable. I simply didn't have the energy to walk over a mile in each direction, into the horror.

Like other Hot Zone refugees, I stayed out late, feeling I was intruding despite Bruce's welcome. This feeling is impossible to explain but was well understood by neighbors sharing my plight. We met for coffee. For dinner. We had no place to go and nothing to do, our lives disrupted, work our only stability. I have since spoken to people who know this feeling of intrusion. I would never have imagined it. There were no shortage of offers of places to stay but they were not what I needed. I needed HOME. Or at least a room with a lock on the door.

So we wandered the city, the street our only private place - to make a cell phone call, to cry silently, unnoticed, in the dark. I knew I as exhausted but I was not tired. I slept sleeping pill sleep: dark and dreamless but not satisfying. I knew my body was weird but there was nothing I could do because I could not go home.

As the days wore on, it became clear that while everyone else was taking baby steps towards healing, we were growing ever more frayed, because the longer we were homeless, the worse it got for us, and the more variant our experience from that of everyone around us. It also became clear that we spoke a different language: checkpoints, escorts, civil actions and FEMA. Our neighborhood had been bombed. We confronted this whenever we attempted to go home, bringing us back constantly to the event as the rest of the city and the country moved away from it. We stood at Broadway and Chambers and looked past the National Guard, past the police, past the metal barricade to our HOME, a place so close from which we were barred. What we wanted was tantalizingly, painfully out of reach. Berlin.

All through this time, a phrase stuck in my head, like the words of a song. "That was then and this is now." I could not imagine a reality more changed than mine. A week before 911 my kid cousin visited with his girlfriend, from a village of 400 in the English countryside. I had showed them my city, a city with which I was infatuated, from Harlem to NY harbor, from Lower East Side streets - to Windows on the World. The weather was perfect and I loved my life. I marveled at my luck in life. I showed my glittering city off, a treasure to be shared. But that was then and this is now.

What Does It Feel Like To Be Home? 12/10/01

Over the past week, people have asked me "what does it feel like to be home?"

My answers have been "When I sit in my chair, it feels like I never left, almost as though the wound in time healed over, without a trace." and "Disorganized - everything is where I left it in September, but a mess because I was pulling things out of closets and shoving stuff back in."

Until Saturday night.

I came back from dinner with friends, puttered about until midnight, when I decided to go to bed.

My favorite times are weekend mornings at 11 AM, when the apartment is flooded with sunlight, and late at night, when downtown is silent and my apartment is my world.

For the first time since September 11, I had bedecked my bed with all its pillows and textiles, solely to enjoy the glimpses of it when I passed. As I was taking it apart to go to sleep, the only light was the dim, antique patterned peach glass lamp over the bed. My stereo was playing joyous "fusion" Indian music in the darkened apartment. And suddenly, I felt the most intense pleasure as I sat on the bed and listened to the music. I knew that I was home, in my house, in my personal island of beauty and tranquillity.

Why I Created This CD 1/20/02

A birthday celebration at a tiny, perfect Japanese restaurant undiscovered and unexpected on a weary Village street. He lives Uptown and she in the Teens.

I attempt to explain why I’m spending so much time putting together a 9/11 CD – something I myself don’t understand, a fact that doesn’t particularly bother me. He thinks the issues with the air and the government’s response were always so obvious that they are not, at this late date, worth thought. To me, the interesting issue isn’t the air. It is the psychology of my well educated, successful, ostensibly independent minded and well insured neighbors, who moved home as soon as they could, cleaning the dust themselves and worrying more about unexpected checkpoints then the effects of the air. Of the hundreds of thousands of people returned to work in lower Manhattan when told to, discomforted by the attack, not the air. Considering this makes a long career in technology and human services vanish, revealing my inner still-too-young social psychology graduate student, baffled by obedience to authority and the effect of group norms on human behavior.

We part, they walking north into the frigid night, me grateful for the subway.

The re-routed train has the post 9/11 mix of Afro-Caribbean’s heading for Eastern Parkway, downtown Manhattan types, and two Sallies – Salvation Army workers – in their bright red jackets. As we exit at Chambers Street, another woman pulls an OSHA vest over her coat. A guy lights a cigarette and stops at the top of the stairs, motionless, looking at the stadium glare. I, too, glance at the familiar void before heading east, past a helmeted National Guardsman. At Church Street I am forced to look south again, to cross the north-running street – and see the white glow. Hey, let’s take the A train, if you want to go to Ground Zero in TriBeCa.

Maybe this is why I spend hours at my PC mesmerized, searching the Net for material for this CD. My friends have been downtown once since the attack, for a half an hour, or not at all. But it isn’t an event for me, an attack being resolved in distant Afghanistan and reported in the media. In its ever-changing reality, it is my neighborhood, my home these 22 years, the place I yearned for and feared when displaced. It is the weekend river of people streaming towards Ground Zero that I must navigate whenever I leave my door, whose presence still surprises me and destroys the tranquillity I expect in this neighborhood where no one ever came. It is the people on the subway, on the street, for whom this is closure, an adventure, an event, a destination, who pull out maps and who ask where is it, where is it, where is the World Trade Center, where is Ground Zero. Whose legions of SUVs, tour buses and stretch limos jam the weekend streets. Who depart wearing Ground Zero hats, bearing WTC calendars. Foreign tourists and clusters of talkative Americans, blond in their jeans and puffy jackets, so different from my quiet, intense, dark clad sleek South TriBeCa neighbors. I had just begun to accept that Pearl Harbor moved in next door when the viewing platform circus arrived. 9/11 is with you always.

Or maybe it is nothing to do with that at all. Maybe it is an attempt to close the 97 day long hole in time that the attack blew into my life, when days were endless telephone calls, nights meant friend’s sofas, hotels, unfurnished rooms, when I did errands instead of living. Maybe if I go back through those days in the media, in the photos of sights I barely registered, I will somehow close the gap. I now fit imperfectly into familiar surroundings. Imagine clear molded plastic enclosing some widget that hangs from a hook in every American hardware store. But it doesn’t quite fit; something tiny keeps the edges from closing, and me from easing comfortably back into my life.

I can’t worry about it. I create because I have no choice, using a language not necessarily verbal. Maybe, at some point, I’ll understand why I did what I did, which would be nice but is not really important. This particular project surely springs from the other great non-rational process, emotions, and is being articulated non-linearly, processing the event on multiple levels. There is both intellectual and emotional involvement in the still evolving story. Now missing toxic chemicals at the Con Ed substation at 7WTC are on the news.

The CD is both factual and non-objective, a culling that records 9/11 as it happened to me, a woman who left home on a brilliantly sunny Tuesday morning for a seemly endless visit to the Twilight Zone.

Sunlight & Shadow 5/11/02

Today is one of those transcendent days, when the sun is so bright and the sky so clear that the colors of the everyday world glow with an iridescent light.

I've just returned from a couple of weeks in Istanbul, where, to be accurate, I did nothing, the first week cold and damp, the second as sunny and sharp lighted as today. I had a frequent flyer ticket, so the trip over was free. Americans still haven't returned to Turkey, partly out of post 9/11 fear of flying and partly due to a profound mis-understanding of this most moderate of Islamic lands. I wonder how many Americans know that Turks aren't Arabs... I had an apartment to use, first with friends and then alone, which gave me the opportunity to just live in Istanbul for a while, instead of sightseeing.

To be sure, I did the obligatory sights again, after a gap of almost 30 years, but I did them differently, one a day, with no compulsion to visit other cities to see old quarters and yet another mosque or caravansary. Because I had friends, and thus was a guest to be shown the beauty of their city, I was taken to all the hidden places, the Ottoman era cafes far from SultanAmhet.

If you are a tourist, you spend a few days in the old city, near Topkapi, perhaps venturing once or twice to another shore, to see the modern downtown and its cafes. But, while you know Istanbul is a city on the water, you are no more aware of it than the average Manhattan resident, an intellectual awareness, not a constant physical presence. Here, I was fortunate, because my friend's apartment is on the Asian side, so every day required two ferry rides with little to do but sip tea from tulip shaped glasses and watch the play of light on the sea. During these days of crisp, clear Spring light each too short voyage demanded to be extended at a cafe on the other shore, watching the water, the sun and the light.

Having been shown Istanbul from its special places, on top of its hills, at the convergence of its ancient seas, while cruising its islands and walking its shores, I will tell you that its beauty is that of the San Francisco Bay area, although with 14 million inhabitants, it is far more urban. But while the wooded hills are missed, the predominantly low-rise development does not yet destroy its beauty. Its Ottoman era wooden houses, now being restored in affluent suburbs, will hold their own against any California Victorian.

I spent the days in walking meditation, exploring untouristed areas behind the Grand Bazaar and the shops within, buying inexpensive ceramics and rare Central Asian embroideries. It is hard to find anything old in the bazaar, or in most places these days, tribal crafts long replaced by commercial wares. But, with time and perseverance, things turn up, albeit not necessarily the things you planned on. For all the tourism of the Grand Bazaar, and it is nothing else, who can complain about being led into a dealer's storeroom in an old Han, where goods are piled in neat stacks and thrown in corners, hidden behind chairs, forgotten about even by the dealer searching desperately for something to sell. Endless cups of chai, with conversation and cigarettes. I don't know what to do with dealers who tell me they are giving me the "no bargaining" price - especially when one then reduces his quote by $50 - but I don't really care, because the prices don't seem unreasonable for the things I buy - a 100+ year old woven Caucasian saddle bag and a wonderful Baluch feed bag. Who ever would have thought that you'd weave so finely to feed a donkey? And, besides, I'm using insurance money to pay for them, because some of my things destroyed can only be found here.

While I went to Mexico, at Ed's insistence, in November, this is my first true vacation since 9/11. I don't know why Copper Canyon didn't have the same effect - maybe it was the oddity of spending a vacation on the train but, most likely, it had more to do with the subliminal but ever-present stress of being displaced, knowing I would return to an unfurnished room. I don't fault Ed for insisting on this holiday - if I wouldn't go to Rome, as planned, we had to go somewhere. But, while it was a good holiday, I didn't experience the deep relaxation of these days in Istanbul – and after this trip, I got to go HOME.

On this, my first weekend back in NY, I planned to resume my weekly bike ride up the Hudson, with the only disruption being the closed portion of the path where the barge is parked, still hauling debris from Ground Zero. Rebuilding is starting, not on the site itself but next door, at 7 WTC, which was also destroyed. It will be a narrower building - the community insistent upon the return of the street grid disrupted by the Towers 30 years ago. I wonder what the address will be - wouldn't 7 WTC be chilling without its siblings 1 thru 6?

The site itself has been cleared for months so on these sunny days the experience, for those of us who know downtown, is of far too much light. Lower Manhattan streets carved hundreds of years ago are narrow valleys darkened by mountainous tall buildings. The tallest, the Twins, cast shadows into City Hall Park and beyond. But now that they are gone, there is glowing afternoon light, brightening a neighborhood, 16 acres of disturbing light surrounded still by orange netting clad buildings displaying huge flags.

The rebirth symphony plays under our windows each night, as Verizon, Con Ed and the myriad of others who repair and rebuild cables and pipes and conduits drill and pound. Murray Street has been unimaginably torn up for months. They are trying not just to replace what was destroyed but also to build infrastructure for the future. Meanwhile, telephone lines and electrical cable still runs above ground in much of the neighborhood.

There are many things the careful eye can detect which belie the area’s apparent return to normalcy. Barricades. Police vans. No mailboxes - removed in December never to re-appear. In Turkey mailboxes were removed there in the 1970s, the time of terrorism and never replaced. As one man in the bazaar said, now America will understand what terrorism does to a country.

The other differences are more subtle - an endless, and probably eternal, stream of tourists down Broadway, past my house, going to Ground Zero. My only hope is that I am far enough away that businesses catering to them will not invade my streets. Streets still being wet down by trucks to ensure that the Ground Zero dust stays down.

The EPA has finally caved to months of pressure and will clean apartments - although not the offices - of anyone downtown who requests it. This is widely considered to be a rather late response but a victory over a surprisingly callous and uncaring government none-the-less. Since I had asbestos testing done before my cleaning, I won't have another cleaning done - I can't abide the disruption - but I probably will have another asbestos test done by the EPA, just to be sure. Whoever would have thought, when I sat next to a wild-haired advocate waving a huge pile of Freedom of Information Act results at a post-9/11 environmental meeting, that we would all succeed in forcing the government to do what is right.

But back to today, which really does relate to 9/11, because, as I headed towards the new place to get on the bike path I encountered brilliantly colored banners lit by the sun - the first Tribeca Family Festival, part of the Tribeca Film Festival which Robert DeNiro, long-time, deeply rooted, resident, dreamed up last Fall to help downtown recover, to bring people back. For there are still those afraid to come downtown, people making their first trip here since 9/11. Local people, Manhattan residents who used to sprawl on the lawns of Battery Park and play along the water.

A glorious day, streets filled with children with painted faces being charmed - or frightened - by clowns and mascots, as was their wont. Food to eat, Tribeca tee shirts to buy and music in the air - truly in the air, when a costumed band on stilts performs Dixieland.

As I threaded my bike amongst the crowds, there was a happy ache in my heart for these streets I love were, once again, filled with joy. It is only a 8 months since I stood on Greenwich St, the site of this fair, on a similarly brilliant day, at a barricade, waiting for hours to be let into my home and later, walking the length of this fair to my insurance company’s catastrophe van. But now the cameramen in the crowd are photographing the resurrection and the light, not the darkness of destruction. How could one not be glad?

Birthdays Sure Ain't What They Used To Be 5/21/02

Today is my birthday. I received two "presents"

State of the art asbestos tests I just had done show that the perimeter areas of my apartment are "moderately" contaminated - and no, the free EPA/FEMA clean-up isn't abatement so it would be useless. My apartment itself seems fine. I've spoken to the co-op Board who I think will take action promptly and am considering writing to my elected officials, etc. because I'm so pissed off at the EPA et. al. Meanwhile, I hope it stays cold because opening my windows isn't a good idea right now.
Then, after coming back from dinner, I am left to contemplate terror threats against the Brooklyn Bridge, which is basically across the street.

I joked for years that sleeping in my bed was more dangerous than holidaying in Iran and Syria. Who knew?

Birthdays sure ain’t what they used to be…

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Iran: A Rock and Roll Journey (April, 2001)

I stand against the wall, far out in the countryside, waiting to be shot. Through sunglassed eyes I contemplate the three men who brought me to this distant and deserted place and try to look relaxed. One moves in front of me. Finally, I hear the click. The ever accommodating Ali photographs me in bandanna, long sleeved tee shirt and ankle length skirt, another picture of "the headgear" requested by chador-expectant friends. After all, what is Iran but a terrorist state, the world's worst place to be a woman? In a week in Iran, I had worn one for perhaps three hours.

I arranged the trip via the Net, using the government travel bureau in Tehran, who could get me a tourist visa. The planning went well until the email telling me that, as a solo traveler, I would be required to have a fixed itinerary, a car, a guide and a driver.

I whined. I obsessed. Privately. With friends. Plaintively. Oh no! Oh no! Ohno! Spies, spies, spies. Watchdogs? Sheepdogs? Touts who would steer me into shops. Was I now expected to be an economic development opportunity, a job creation engine for a country with 7 million unemployed? Until my greedy curiosity triumphed. Now that the politics had quieted down, nothing would stop me from fulfilling a 20 years long dream of visiting this fabled land.

I secured my boss' concerned permission "Are you SURE???" scrawled along with his signature. Playing on stereotype, I had attached my vacation request to the visa cover sheet reading "In the Name of The Almighty - The Islamic Republic of Iran."

Next to the photo shop, steeling myself for comments about the mandatory scarf. Yes, he took visa pictures. As I pulled the neatly folded black square from my briefcase, he exclaimed, "You're going to Iran!" "How did you know?" "I'm Iranian!" In the twenty years I'd lived around the corner, I'd never entered this shop. Now it became a talisman, a favorable omen. He fussed over me, fretting over an invisible patch of neck, taking an extra shot for free. My introduction to Iranian hospitality.

Three months later, at 4AM, I wheeled my suitcase past customs at Tehran airport, into the throng, searching for a sign bearing my name. After several circuits through the crowd, I found the information desk and asked the young chador clad women to page... someone. By 5AM my jet lagged brain filled with murderous Manhattan thoughts. Finally, on the third page, came three young men smiling. My guide, my travel mate for the next 18 days, introduced himself. Mr. S. Ali. As we scurried off to complete the trivial tasks of arrival, their solicitousness - and my inability to hold a grudge - gave them rapid absolution.

That evening we flew to Mashad, the site of Shi'a Islam's most important shrine, commemorating Imam Reza. Since "The Dress Code" would be rigorously enforced, I wore my most modest attire: ankle length black raincoat over black leggings and a black scarf pinned tightly under my chin. Except for the scarf and the fastened top button, standard Manhattan garb.

I was greeted by a bouquet bearing man who later handed me a plastic wrapped chador. When he reappeared the next morning I realized that I would not merely have a guide and a driver. I would have a staff. He was my first local guide.

In my room a Koran usurped the Gideon Bible. One wall had an arrow indicating the direction of Mecca. I have seen Muslims praying facing West in India and East in London. Here they face south.

I put on the chador and went out alone to explore, eager to try on an Iranian woman's life. Islamic drag. Like the men in the gray flannel suits, I became insignificant, part of the mass.

Stall-like shops lined the long, broad, busy avenue. The Iranian affection for classic American cartoon characters matched their fondness for chains no hip-hop artist would covet. One-inch iron or brass links, six inches long, bound to tubular wooden handles: Flail Lite, perhaps 9 lengths of chain, and Grande, too many to count. Men would use these to flagellate themselves during this month of mourning for the 8th century martyrdom of Hussein. I was reluctant to do more than glance at these shops with cartoon mice on their signs and divine pain for sale.

People passed, arms filled with stacks of fresh-baked flatbread. I joined the crowd jostling at the bakery's windows. Iranians do not queue and are not gentle in crowds, especially when it is late and dinner requires bread. I bit into the wafer thin, warm bread and tasted my childhood. Matzoth.

I walked until halted by hunger and a throbbing neck. The chador had wrist loops to make it more manageable. Accustomed to striding with arms swinging at my sides, I unconsciously pulled down as it kept slipping from my head. Leaving the darkness of the street I entered a dazzlingly white restaurant where I ate a chador-clad meal, better watched than the television.

In the morning the guides pointed me towards the women's entrance to the shrine - forbidden even to Muslims who have not undergone ritual purification - and told me to go inside, warning it would be crowded - and that I should speak to no one. I entered a sparkling mirror-mosaic world, where women sat, slept, prayed and supplicated around the gold latticed tomb enclosure.

At the poet Frederowsi's tomb I shed my chador in the hot noon sun. Later, over an enormous lunch, I answered the local guide's questions about America and heard myself argue that its vibrancy was amplified by its waves of immigrants, whose dreams fuel the great American rocket. The immigrants in Iran are Afghans, fleeing decades of war, viewed as drug smugglers. Unwanted.

Back in Tehran, I realized that my clothes were too warm. Iran, like everywhere on earth, is having the wrong weather - July in early April. As I searched the shop-lined boulevard I contemplated creative interpretations of manteaus, the raincoat-like garment traditional in Iran. I bought a knee length brown "big shirt" and a long Indian skirt to add to my wardrobe of oversized long gray dress, leggings and a floral scarf.

Here "The Rules" are interpreted liberally. A scarf and overcoat over pants suffice. The chador is optional, only required in certain settings. It is rejected by many women.

The Revolution initially encouraged women to join men protesting in the streets against the Shah and in support of the Revolution. In retrospect, this was one of many decisions that unwittingly politicized women, many of whom reject strict Islamic law. A significant percentage have, from the beginning resisted clerical dictates to assume traditional roles and give up legal remedies given to them by the Shah, such as equitable treatment in family courts. Having voted in large numbers for the winning reformers in recent local and Presidential elections, their issues are central to the debate over the shape of Iran's future.

Under the Shah, most lower class women wore the chador. It is the upper and middle class women who today oppose it. Women's manteaus vary in length. Head coverings range from mandatory student wimples to kerchiefs worn revealing hair. Clothing is calibrated, disclosing attitudes towards religion, the government and local conventions. It varies from neighborhood to neighborhood, big city to conservative town. .

Some manteaus are sheer and others, worn by teenage girls, who challenge authority, stylish: long and tight, with a slit up the back or mid-thigh length jackets. Platform shoes or, occasionally, sandals, with unimaginably immodest bare toes, adorn feet. All but the most modest dress can earn the wearer 70 lashes, but this is now uncommon.

Iranian's daily lives are governed by an ever-shifting power struggle between the reformist elected government and an unelected clerical hierarchy Khomeini invented that holds critical powers. Daily life has liberalized dramatically - until the unelected clerics decide that things have gone too far and stage highly publicized and dramatic crack downs. Since few Westerners are conversant with the players in this power struggle, to them the Iranian Revolution appears unchanged. Only someone with an understanding of who is speaking - the elected president, Khatami or the unelected religious leader, Khamenei, can begin to decipher "official" pronouncements.

In Mashad, prices were quoted in Rials, 8000 to the dollar. Tehrani's, like other city folk, quote prices in Tomans, which equal 10 Rials - but all bills are Rials. When I get confused and start to overpay, the shopkeeper asks, in excellent English with a weary urban tone "What are you doing?" and takes the correct bills from my hand.

I am alone on the streets without a chador for the first time. When young men speak to me I avoid eye contact. I walk with my eyes carefully focused ahead, in the middle distance, a trick every attractive woman has learned.

We fly south to Kerman where we were met by our driver, a slight young man. I am surprised when he tells me that he had driven 12 non-stop hours from Tehran, to bring the car. I expected a local. When I remark "that's hard work" he responds "And I am still young," in five words capturing the economic reality of Iranian youth trying to survive in a country unable to generate the 700,000 new jobs it needs annually because 70 percent of the population is under the age of 30. Over the coming weeks, his rare comments will sketch his life and sensibility, so different from the guide's.

I had planned to come to three weeks later but was advised to avoid the forthcoming presidential election campaign. Since delaying the trip further would mean too many clothes in furnace-like heat, I found myself in Iran during the month of mourning for Hussein, a time émigrés avoid because they don’t want to deal with all the religious rituals.

The next day was my second holy day, Tashura, the first day when men parade through the streets and flagellate themselves, followed immediately by Ashura, a day of mourning for Hussein. Iranians have not forgotten that "holiday" is "holy day" so all but essential shops are closed. In the morning women go from house to house collecting food, especially a traditional stew, and then return home to family feasts.

Iran has six television stations. One broadcasts endless images of black clad men flagellating themselves with fists or chains, in unison, to well disciplined rhythms. I had been told to watch for a "good group" - but this sure wasn't doo-op. The Western image of Iran, not its totality.

There are flashes of fanaticism - the green-capped Hajji leaving the plane from Mashad engulfed by 30 young men and women who shove to touch his feet, mirroring the way Hassidic men strive for the touch of one of their especially important Rebbes. But, otherwise, far less religious than anticipated.

I passed the morning fiddling with my short wave radio, which was only willing to receive when held like a squalling infant, and reading one of the dozen books I'd bought in anticipation of the lack of nightlife.

Amongst the tourists trapped with me was a young German economist motorcycling home from India. We walked to the town center, the empty streets male on this holiday, the province of groups of black-clad teenager friends, some with flails draped casually around their necks. They inspected my leggings and short manteau but said nothing. I was with a man. Their stares gleamed testosterone, not Islam. My companion was stunned when I told him that the ultra hard-liners newspaper was running a 10 part Holocaust denial series, which would be a crime in Germany

My lower Manhattan apartment's closets are filled with black clothing. But here, during this month, black clad figures have a different meaning: religious observance of the month of Mourning. My "normally religious" guide and driver do not wear black or stop to pray. Iran, a semiotic delight.

The next morning we take the hot 2 and half-hour drive south to Bam, a 2000 year old citadel and UNESCO World Heritage site. The back seat of the new Iranian Peugeot is uncomfortable and I have a bad cold, which troubles me more than the tourist advisory posted after a 1998 kidnapping. It lives on despite the perpetrators' capture. If New York City were a foreign country, what would the State Department have posted, in the depths of the 1970s?

We sped along at 80 miles per hour, our soundtrack Turkish pop, American rock, Iranian rock, the Gypsy Kings, and, when I ask to hear her, Googish, the beloved Iranian singer banned since the Revolution. Every cut forbidden, the Iranian rock recorded in L.A. The driver, Shah, is 26 years old. He is excellent - except for a tendency to miss turnoffs. Miss the sign for Bam? Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. Go directly to Baluchistan.

Unlike secular Syria, whose visa application demands to know my religion, the Islamic Republic's was unexpectedly disinterested. No one has asks so, to pass the hours, I volunteer my Judaism. Not only was I the first Jew they'd ever met, I was also their first American. So this least mainstream of creatures, comfortable only in her far downtown neighborhood, will be their typical American.

I am not afraid to be a Jewish tourist in most Islamic lands. The current politics of the Middle East and our even pre-911 demonization of Islam notwithstanding, we lived there, persecuted but often less so than in Christian lands, for thousands of years.

Ali attributes the failure of President Khatemi's efforts to improve diplomatic relations with America to Madeline Albright's Jewish faith. I explain that she is Christian and did not know until very recently that she had Jewish grandparents who perished in a concentration camp. Iran and America, good friends who have quarreled and now hate each other because, on some level, they are alike; self-righteous, moralistic. Each other's bogeymen.

When I begin to compare S'hia Islam and Judaism Ali doesn’t know what to think. The similarities include that imams and rabbis are teachers who are free to disagree with each other's interpretations of religion, both are historically persecuted minorities, a legacy that informs their worldview, and there is no central authority like a Pope or Caliph - the Supreme Ayatollah is a new feature. But then, so too are hereditary Hassidic rebbes.

I tour the radiantly hot walled city sans guide, a visor under my veil and pass Iranian women with baseball caps popped over their scarves. Tourists in too-warm raincoats with alarmingly red faces cling to the shade, sipping Pepsis. So much for the American trade embargo. The citadel's ramparts bear a large sign asking the West to engage in a “dialogue of civilizations." Khatami’s plea, now shouted silently from Iran's walls.

Tour groups reserved the sole restaurant so we drive uncertain miles to an empty five star hotel set amongst flat wastelands. A new industrial zone, the gift of former President Rafsanjani, whose family has large pistachio estates nearby. Pork is forbidden to Muslims so I do not teach Ali, who has a BA in English, "pork-barrel politics."

On my first non-holy day, we tour Kerman. The bazaar sells household necessities, and still more flails and decorative banners for the month of mourning. Ali explains with pride as my shutter captures the chains. Neither of us can imagine the other's perception. I buy a scarf. Ali wants one for his 25-year-old wife, who is also his first cousin, a university graduate. More than 50 percent of university students are women and two income families are common due as much to the women's desires as economic necessity. The middle class is dramatically worse off since the Revolution. When I ask about children the answer is "not yet." A marriage without offspring is a tragedy, not a life-style choice.

Shah and Ali are seasonal temps working only when they have tours. Ali earns $125 a month, the standard college graduate salary. Since his brothers and sisters are college educated, he is middle class and his relatively comfortable life undoubtedly made easier by their connections, which are all important in Iran.

Shah, a high school graduate who has taught himself English from tapes, earns $75 a month, which is standard for high school graduates in government jobs. He has worked his way up to this job. His uncertain income makes prevents him from marrying so he suffers, as only a self-aware 26 year old with no economic prospects and no access to women or anything we would define as fun, can.

College attendance skyrocketed for women after the Revolution. Women were sent to university by conservative parents who believed the Islamic schools safe. A 50 percent unemployment rate has resulted in many men skipping college. Graduates, especially doctors and academics, often emigrate, with Canada a preferred destination. 240,000 graduates in the prior year, a massive brain drain that is one of many factors hindering economic recovery.

We take the 5-hour drive north across flat barren distances to Yazd, the world's second oldest city, birthplace of Zoroastrianism. Reroute we breeze through military checkpoints without turning down the sinful tunes. The guards are searching for opium being smuggled from Baluchistan. Baluch trucks are completely unloaded and searched, their crews standing by for hours in the hot afternoon sun. The guards never consider the possibility of a non-Baluch drug smuggler. Cheap, readily available drugs and boredom have made between 1 and 3 million Iranians addicts.

Ali wants to know why America won't help Iran combat the opium that flows freely from Afghani fields. He cannot understand why we will not work together for our common benefit. I cannot answer these questions, for I do not understand either. I can only talk of America's failed efforts to control our long border with Mexico and recommend the movie "Traffic." Pirated videos may already be available in Tehran.

Iranian drivers pass each other by speeding towards you, headlights flashing, seemingly unconcerned about the imminent head on collision. My driver cedes - often narrowly, for there may not be a place. I tell them of hotrods and juvenile delinquents playing "chicken," phrases quaint on my tongue. Ali is taken with the concept and laughingly resurrects it throughout our travels. I try to limit the image to the days when rebels had no causes but it is too strong. I have birthed a stereotype.

I heard that traffic accidents are the number two cause of death in Iran. With perfect timing, Shah replies "No, number one. The war (with Iraq) is over." We speed on to Gypsy rhythms.

Many Iranians have small satellite dishes hidden somewhere around their house which gives them access to the world beyond Iran. Many shows are beamed into Iran by expatriates in Europe and the West. These are illegal and fines are heavy; periodically, the hardliners crack down. Ali was once caught but claimed that, as an English major, he needed it, so the fine was reduced. He throws his head back and laughs whenever he recounts that, on Iranian TV, women shown sitting in bed talking to their husbands wear headscarves. I tell him that, amongst the Satmar Hasidism, married women shave their heads, wear wigs - and often hats. He cannot understand a custom that strikes him as barbaric and which I cannot explain.

Yazd is a small, conservative city where all women wear chadors; a convention of nuns in mourning for the wimples are unrelieved black. A local guide appears, 56 years old and cosmopolitan. He understands references to scenes shot in an Iranian shrine in Philip Glass's film Koyyanisquatsi. He, too, wears normal colors and does not pray. Is a lack of religious zeal one of the requirements for being a guide?

Yazd is the birthplace of Zoroastrianism, the religion of pre-Islamic Persia. Iran's remaining Zoroastrians live free of discrimination.

We climb the long, bad path to ancient Zoroastrian Towers of Silence surrounded by a deserted religious complex. Ali lends me a helping hand although touching unrelated women is forbidden; good manners are imperative in Iran. This was another of the Revolution's mistakes. The "vice squads" that roamed the streets in the early years were no match for an ancient culture that values charm and grace. We share the silence with the creations of a people who refuse to desecrate the earth. It feels more like an archetype than a place. The ancient fire has been moved and now enlightens a modern building, its sparks enshrined in temples globally. I unsuccessfully seek mementos for friends but there are no Zoroastrian tsoskhes.

The hard-liners arrested 30 reformers today, which adds to the 20 they arrested last month, claiming they were trying to undermine the revolution. Ali explains that this is why Khatemi won't announce his candidacy for re-election early despite the hardliners taunts: fear that his opponents will arrest him on trumped up charges, as they did the popular and effective Mayor of Tehran.

I keep abreast of the news via BBC in my hotel but there is no shortage of options for Iranians. Although attempts to control it waxes and wanes, Iran has many newspapers espousing differing views. The debate over the future of Iran is vibrant, a public discourse that may be Khatemi's greatest contribution to Iran. Hopefully, in the years after his second term, it will be his legacy, but nothing is assured.

We drive 40km to see a passion play, a re-enactment of Hussein’s martyrdom in Saudi Arabia on this holy afternoon. The local tradition includes a man in a lion suit on camelback visibly and athletically mourning. The play is bracketed by groups of parading men flailing themselves. The local guide remains outside, remarking, "I've seen it before." Bored. Ali and Shah enter the mosque to watch. I am directed to a flat roof, the place for women and children, the balcony in my immigrant grandmother's synagogue. There are no seats, only an unprotected edge and metal objects rusting quietly. I am the sole tourist and the only person not dressed completely in black.

Even though, to most Westerners, all Muslims are alike, deep and religious schisms are seen in contemporary politics. Iranian's are despised Shi'a while Saudi's are Puritanical Wahabis, one of Sunni Islam's sects. Tribally divided Afghanistan is predominantly Sunni and, before the pre-Taliban imported their alien interpretation, quite moderate in their beliefs.

We had arrived early; the play is over in 15 minutes and I leave. While there will be other events, flagellation has lost its novelty. The roof is growing crowded as the faithful flock to the day's event. How much is religion and how much simply a desire for a break in small town boredom? I've seen people in remote Indonesian villages watch road paving crews with equal intensity.

We thread our way through black-clad throngs. I refrain from photographing a Norouz plate in a shop window. With its seven oval sections it looks remarkably like a Seder plate on this first day of Passover.

Shah unlocked "The Club" a steel anti-theft device well known in America, from the steering wheel. This is the first time I had seen it in Iran so I asked him why, especially in this distant village on a holy day. Car theft is common in Iran, stolen cars are used for drug smuggling and Peugeots are desirable. We compare car alarm frustrations until I end with "it is 3AM and all you want to do is shoot the car." Ali, a citizen of what America considers to be an outlaw land, laughs in astonishment at this violent image, his reactions have clearly never ended with guns. This, too, he will repeat.

The tourist rate for rooms and lodging is ten times the local one, which is what I am paying for the guys' rooms. April is the height of tourist season so they are repeatedly kicked out when a foreign tourist needs a room. Shah is forever interrupting Ali's calls home, which seem to revolve around female relatives giving him shopping orders for the local specialties. We travel on vouchers so I have no sense of what accommodations cost, other than that they are still inexpensive. At 6AM on the morning I arrived, I handed Ali an envelope containing $2,400, the cost of my trip. No matter what Iran's feelings towards America, the payment had to be in dollars, the hard currency Iran desperately needs.

After lunch, I find the guys staring at the car. An accident, my door gouged, orange paint in the tear. The color of a tour bus, the only moving vehicle in the hotel parking lot at that time.

Shah radiates upsetedness. Jobs are very hard to find in Iran and this one, with its access to tourists tipping generously in hard currency that is immune from the vagaries of the exchange rate, is desirable. To be held responsible for this accident would mar his record. It is not easy to lose a job anywhere but here it would be disastrous.

The grizzled pot bellied bus driver denies responsibly. I photograph the buses' dents and our wounded car. As we visit the town we encounter the bus and long discussions ensue between the drivers. No voices are raised. Shah will have to go to the police to file a report. I am wandering alone, inappropriately dressed after a morning in the countryside. Every man, whether on foot or in a car, stares and makes comments, for I have no manteau. I realize the extent to which my experience is being shaped by a protective male bubble.

I tell Shah to leave us at the bazaar and go to the police; he is painfully, but not overtly, distressed. He considers until the local guide says something in Farsi and he demurs. After a quick tour, I have Shah take me to an Internet cafe, to email his boss; a positive email from a satisfied client can only help.

The hotel manager and the other drivers became involved. Finally, nine hours after the accident, the bus driver is pressured into giving Shah his insurance information. My once-again young driver comes, drained, to tell me everything will be OK.

To banish yesterday's demons, I present him with a "Bugs Bunny as Statue of Liberty" New York key chain. A virtual rabbit's foot, a childhood good luck charm. Bugs joins Daisy Duck, who dangles from the rear-view mirror, an ideal place for this wittily subversive icon of liberty.

As we drove to Shiraz, 6-hours over good roads, I conclude that Iranian drivers are the world's worst. Considering what the road-kill is like in most developing nations, this is a distinction. Here, the main reason is carelessness - people change lanes. Period. Check their mirror? Never. Signal? What's that? Cars wander into your lane as the car that happens to be there tries to get out of the way. Horns are not heard on highways. At one point we are cut off by a car that zooms away at very high speed. There is something very different, fundamentally more aggressive, about its driver. He must, I remark, have lived in LA, home to a large Iranian population.

In the countryside, pedestrians meander slowly across the road without bothering to look in the direction of traffic. One woman had her chador modestly pulled out beyond her profile, making it impossible to see the traffic. Shah stopped and shook his head as he let her pass. In cities, where red lights have no meaning, this jaywalking New Yorker became a defenseless child who crossed streets in lockstep with locals who knew how to negotiate the traffic. The guys see me hesitate and bracket me protectively.

Shah has perhaps a dozen audio tapes so we listen to the same ones over and over, for hours. Traveling in Iran will forever be associated with Celine Dion.

The roads are two or three lanes, well paved, cutting straight through the nothingness. Every few hundred kilometers there is a petrol station selling fuel at astonishingly low, highly subsidized prices. We stop and I pull out emergency rations: Marie biscuits, the non-nutritious staple of travelers in developing countries, and sweet jerky brought with me from Chinatown. I tell them that while not halal, the Muslim version of Kosher slaughtering, it is chicken, and, since Islamic law mirrors Judaic interpretation, OK for a hungry traveler to eat. Ali is eager, Shah cautious.

When I say something positive about contemporary Iran, Ali corrects me. The roads are good? No, they're much better in the north - more lanes. The roads are immaculate. No, they are dirty. When I point out the total absence of litter, I am told expatriates say the West is cleaner. If only he understood the unreliability of immigrant tales.

On the road I wear a lightweight floral scarf bandanna style, completely covering my hair but revealing my neck - "immodest" but comfortable. I ride with stockinet feet propped against the dashboard, legginged legs semi-covered by the over shirt. Drivers of the ubiquitous black smoke belching small trucks stare when they glimpse me as we speed past. In towns, I wear a long skirt or leggings under an overdress. In holy places, the bandanna becomes a wimple and, in the holiest places, a chador is added. Everywhere, religion demands respect.

The only restaurant en route, at Persepolis caters to tours. As 430 people dined I envisioned a photo essay on female tourists' "modest" attire, interpretations no mullah ever imagined. One woman wears a long navy velour bathrobe. Most of Iran's 1.5 million tourists are Europeans on group tours. A few travel like me - little pods pinging through the Iranian pinball machine, playing three card monte with the sites: Shiraz, Esfahan, Yazd, Kerman, Tehran.

For lunch and dinner menu choices are chicken kebabs, minced lamb kebabs, lamb chunk kebabs (identified as "low fat"), saffron spiced chicken kebabs, saffron chicken with rice and berries, chicken kebabs, minced lamb kebabs, lamb chunk kebabs, mixed kebabs, chicken with herbed rice, lamb kebabs... The side dishes are rich, dense yogurt, feta cheese, rice, flat breads and wonderful salads - which no experienced tourist dares eat. Beverages are sweet orange soda, cola, non-alcoholic beer and, of course, tea. To experience the diversity of Persian food you need to dine in someone's home. Restaurant choice means picking sitting on carpeted platforms with large carpeted rectangular pillows cushions behind you and water pipes in evidence in a "traditional" one or selecting a "modern" one, with Western decor.

After a long lunch under the trees, I ask to stop at Persepolis, over ruling protests that, since it is close to Shiraz, we can come back tomorrow. My hunch is validated. EVERYONE had just come from there, so Iran's most famous site is empty. I walked alone, free to contemplate the play of light across the pre-Islamic ruins with only the sound of the wind in my ears.

Until I notice the pictograms. A little stick figure of a man. The men's toilet. A little stick figure of a woman - in Islamic head scarf and overcoat. The women's toilet. Not the expected little stick figure with circle head and flared skirt. I photograph my first Islamically correct ladies room sign. Anyone can photograph ruins and mosques. I also document ordinary life, the story of Iran in its third decade after the Revolution.

The story of contemporary Iran since the Revolution is a complex and dynamic flow of reform and repression, a power struggle intensified by the conflict between unelected religious leaders with constitutional powers and the overwhelming electoral victory of Khatamei and other reformers. Voter turnout is high, suffrage universal and the elections honest. Only in the pre-qualification process do the unelected clerics exert power, eliminating candidates both male and female. Clerical hard-liners block reforms, shuttering publications that have mushroomed since Khatemi's victory and arresting their publishers, vetoing legislation and, at times, administering lashes to violators of Islamic law. None the less, they are confronted by the demographic realities of a coalition between women and young people fed up with repression and in need of massive economic changes. The reformers' victory is by no means assured. The constitution established multiple centers of power and gave religious leaders control of the security forces and the judiciary. But, for the first time in contemporary Iranian history, the public debate over the right balance of religion and democracy is vigorous. The Revolution's critique of American mass culture includes concerns articulated in the West by groups as disparate as “globalization - how?" protesters at WTO meetings and America's religious right: mindless materialism, a loss of traditional values, the destruction of other cultures and the suffocating branding of public space.

While not the exchange of civilizations Khatami envisioned, long discussions are entertainment when wandering around for weeks with a couple of young guys. What more fabulous material than 50ish Tribeca meets Islam? I ask endless questions so we talk and talk and talk about our lives. I instigate, wanting to pierce the wall of mutual disinformation asking endless questions and volunteering information so, like a modern Marco Polo, I can tell tales of what life is really like here

Our discussions cover everything. Average Salaries. Medical insurance. The cost of prescription drugs. Pensions. Jobs. Dating. Dutch soft drug and prostitution laws. Japanese coed baths and Love hotels. One Japanese man's guide has treated him to extensive discussions of alcohol and prostitution in Iran.

While my goal is to learn about Iran and explain about America - or at least New York - I learn about myself, my life. In many lands I have tried to explain my seemingly limitless affluence by explaining about the cost of living, as I do here. But now I find better words. My friends and I are not rich. We are successful. Smart, hardworking people from ordinary backgrounds who leveraged America's limitless economic opportunity into good jobs. Not titans of industry. Successful. The word satisfies.

Just outside of Shiraz I see two new sights: migrating nomads no longer colorfully dressed and roadside litter. This is the only place on my trip where Iran is not spotless.

Iranians snack on nuts, dried fruits and all manner of sugary treats. Shops selling a nuts and individually wrapped candies are everywhere, a time warp to my childhood when these same shops were common in immigrant Jewish neighborhoods.

I dine on fried chicken and French fries in a busy main street pizza parlor, a much appreciated change. Afterwards, I wander into a greeting card shop and discover a series of funny, quirky cards. Our stereotype of Iranians does not include them having a sense of humor. When I open their cellophane wrappers, I discover that the cards open "backwards," for Farsi is written like Hebrew, right to left.

In the morning we meet The Local Guide From Hell. Imagine history class. Imagine a really bad history class. Imagine a really bad history class that lasts for 9 hours - and you are the only student. Now imagine that you are Ali and have to sit through this history class twice - first in English, then in Farsi.

A lovely, eager-to-please, man. Like all the local guides, older, the generation that knew life before the Revolution. He spent months in America studying aviation when our nations were friends. Extraordinarily well mannered - but he never stopped talking. Nine hours. I grunted "really?" "how interesting” from the front seat while making hand gestures and faces at Shah, who managed to keep a straight face. At the end of the day Ali plopped down in front of me in the hotel lobby, eyes rolling wildly, hands to his head, and moaned "the history lesson." I foolishly mention that I am considering a side trip to distant ruins and... the local guide is off, drawing detailed maps indicating every carving at the site. A question about places to eat en route yields maps of every restaurant, with an admonition not to eat in any of them. Couldn't he have just said "there's no place to eat?" When he leaves I tell Ali that I will spend tomorrow morning at the outdoor teahouse by Hafez’s tomb and invite the guys to join me. Ali understands that while I want to see the sites my interest is, as he says “feeling the place," the contemporary culture. Tomorrow's history. Today.

This guide was the first to pray at mid-day and whose religious sensibilities prevented him from touching a woman even to accept a tip, like the Hasidic subcontractor in Williamsburg who would not shake my hand. But even this guide was not dressed in funeral black.

I fruitless search the shops of Shiraz for an Islamically correct ladies room sign. In despair, I approach one of the hotel staff and, knowing he will think me insane, ask if he knows where to get one. He insists upon obtaining it for me. The next morning, he hands me one - unscrewed from a hotel door. Unfortunately, the same as those in the West so I return it with thanks and "gift" him a New York key chain. Traditional Iranian hospitality in a twenty first century context.

I have grown fond of Shah and am sad that we will have a new driver in Esfahan. I hint to Ali that I'd like to keep him and not have a new driver. But Ali doesn't appear to understand or is avoids my request.

We go to Iran Air to reconfirm our flight to Esfahan. Ali asks if I'd mind changing to an earlier flight, explaining that, after dropping us at the airport, Shah would have drive six hours to Esfahan to bring the car. I am overjoyed to learn he will be with us and tell Ali to cancel the 9 PM flight so we can spend Friday, the Muslim Sabbath, when everything is closed, on the road.

The guides try to talk me out of it but unaccustomed to sightseeing by car, I allocated too much time to Shiraz. I then realized that after dropping us for the still later flight from Esfahan, Shah would have to drive to Tehran, so I told Ali to cancel that flight too. Driving would let me to see more and would make Shah's job much easier. The guides want to give me time to decide. They don't understand how easy it is for me to cancel two heavily subsidized $15 flights.

We pass the 6 hour drive to Esfahan companionably, lunching at a tiny, surgically clean, roadside restaurant. As always, we listen to "forbidden" music, which there is no longer a need to hide. Shah does not turn down the volume at the military numerous check-points along the road, on city streets or when we are joined by the local guides. I do not perceive defiance, angry rebellion or fear, just life under Khatami. Where Iran will end up is unclear - no one should count the hard liners, who control the judiciary and other key government institutions out just yet. There is considerable debate about what type of society - most people want liberalization - and less corruption among the unelected ruling clerics. A Reformation?

I enjoy the guide and driver, whose presence I so dreaded. Considering how hard it is to find people that you can spend two solid weeks with, it is an unexpected pleasure to hang out with a couple of young guys randomly assigned to shepherd me around Iran. In another moment of self-discovery, I realize that I have built a team.

As someone who has traveled to more than 45 countries, I am often asked to name a favorite. Since the Katmandu I loved in 1973 no longer exists, I may now say Iran - to what will be shocked silence. I will be subjected to endless arguments from people who, like contemporary American policy analysts and diplomats, have no firsthand experience of Iran but are experts none-the-less. I will be accused of wearing rose colored glasses but I will speak as a tourist, not as an investigative journalist, political commentator. Nor as an educated Iranian woman confronted by a revolution very different than her early dreams. A tourist. Not a resident.

I understand the repressive realities of this land - but I can also see how far it has come in the twenty years since the revolution.

The view of Iran as the feminist anti-Christ is questionable when the condition of women in traditional societies is viewed still more broadly. Iran does not practice female infanticide, as does China, nor selective abortion, common in China and outlawed in India. Their infant daughters are not put up for adoption by childless Western couples.

Iranian women are not among the 132 million victims of female circumcision. Impoverished parents do not sell their daughters into prostitution, as is done in rural Thailand. There are no dowry burnings that plague India or sex segregated restaurants and workplaces common throughout Arabia.

Although women had more rights under the Shah, it is in the context of conservative societies that the small victories wrenched by Iranian women from the Revolution must be viewed. Iranian women can work in coed workplaces, go to university, drive and vote, which they do in large numbers. In response to women's pressure, the family courts are slowly becoming less pro-male.

The most commonly discussed women's issues are common to other conservative Islamic societies. Women cannot leave the country - or even their home - without their father or husband's permission. Divorce laws favor husbands. They are stoned to death for sexual transgressions. They must wear modest attire. They are legally worth half of men.

In addition to the spotlight focused by Iranian-American politics, perhaps we are so aware of women's issues here because there is a wealthy, Westernized and disgruntled upper class whose lives were disrupted by the Revolution. Or perhaps the quality of Iranian film and the debates it generates among Western intelligentsia is a factor. Why are there no similar discussions about women's issues in the more repressive states of Saudi Arabia and Kuwait, America's official Islamic friends?

This is not to deny the substantial problems with which Iranian women must contend but rather to contextualize them. We continue to brand Iran with the Taliban as the most alien of Muslim "others." Yet it is Saudi Arabia, Pakistan and Kuwait that have granted diplomatic recognition to the Taliban while the Iranians, for a mix of political and religious reasons, have not. How little we understand this part of the world.

We arrive in Esfahan, the most Persian of cities, in the afternoon. Being Friday, the city was shuttered so I walked across a historic bridge spanning a dry riverbed, the river dammed upstream to provide water for irrigation during these years of drought. I am denied the unique Esfahani pleasure of sipping tea on a platform under the bridge's arches, tea house sitting just over the gurgling torrent.

As I wandered along the main boulevard a young man spoke to me "I give you my poem" an odd but plausible comment in this culture of poetry.

A few blocks later it dawns on me. He said "I give you my phone." Shah had told me that young people exchange phone numbers on the streets when no one is looking and spend hours talking to their "girlfriends" on the phone.

I walk to the ancient central square bounded by beautiful buildings: mosques, palaces and, underneath, the bazaar. In the time of Persian miniatures, the vast square was used for polo matches. Today it is filled with a reflecting pool and fountains. I sit at its edge under flawless turquoise skies in the clear, glowing light and watch rainbows formed by dancing waters. Around me families picnic on the shaded lawn.

At dusk I walk to a garden teahouse in a former caravansary turned 5 star hotel, the haunt of le tout Esfahan - affluent, Westernized Esfahani's out for the evening. A few clearly older-than-9-year-old daughters play, unveiled and there is not a chador in sight. I drink tea in tiny glasses sweetened by the cubed sugar of my Eastern European grandmother's kitchen. Sipping hot tea through sugar cubes held in front teeth is dying out here, as it did amongst my people.

Not knowing we had changed our plans, the local guide had waited for our flight. Familiar now with the way I travel, Ali called him in the morning to tell him not to come. Ali so dislikes "the history lesson" that he will not guide what I assume to be more lucrative group tours, where he will have to discourse on every last stone.

I encounter an Iranian man who lives in Canada. He came for the first time in 7 years because Khatami is still President and no one knows what will happen with the election. I realize that this time of liberalization is so tenuous, that Iranians cannot count on the future the way we in the West can. It can all change over night. As much as I dislike America's President, as dangerous as I think he is, he can't damage America's fundamental freedoms. Although by no means a flag waver, I am once again aware how amazingly lucky I am to live in America.

Ali and I have the inevitable Salaman Rushdie Satanic Verses fatwa discussion. I explain American concepts of free speech, the problem of hate speech, how the fatwa increased the book's sales and, finally the impression of Iran that the fatwa created in the West. Ali persisted "but you can't say something that is wrong about a religion" as I try to explain that in the West, people can. And do.

When I buy something in a shop, I am often asked "where from" and the shopkeeper is always surprised when I answer "America. New York." Their response is invariably "MOST welcome."

As Ali and I eat traditional teahouse sweets in the garden of the poet Sadi's tomb, watching the falling sun spotlight brilliant flowers, I joke about my friends' fears for me, their personal "Indiana Jones," who travels to dangerous places. I've never felt safer.

Many Western tourists come knowing little, learn nothing and leave with their prejudices reinforced, proof that you always travel with yourself.

I decide to leave Esfahan a day early and drive 3 hours to the oasis town of Kashan, halfway to Tehran, home to one of the most famous Persian gardens.

We adjourned to the teahouse, spending the sunlit dregs of the afternoon talking. I found out that I am the first American that both the driver and guide have known and, of course, their first Jew. They tell me what they have heard about Americans and we talk a bit about Jewish power - what's real and what's not. I talk of my work with computers and of the wonders of the Internet.

We drive to town looking for a place for dinner, laughing about the selection available in Iranian restaurants: kebabs or... kebabs. It feels like cruising any small town in America with the windows rolled down, the radio on and hanging out with the guys.

Over dinner, they ask if I could live in Iran. I tell them that I'm not sure that I could live anywhere except NY and that my inherent rebelliousness probably makes Iran a poor choice. I tell them of my plan to spend my healthy retirement years teaching English as a Foreign Language each winter in different country. I could see living that way in Iran a truly is an enchanting place on many, many levels. The first, of course, is the people. But then, given my love the culture that stretches from southern Spain to India, how can I not love Persia, which helped birth it?

In Iran, temporary marriages have been allowed since Mohammed’s time. These were used primarily by pilgrims to shrines, to satisfy sexual needs, and rarely involve virgins. Sometimes they involve poor rural women who prostitute themselves. The use of prostitutes among Islamic leaders remained something of an open secret until last month, when Khatami shut down a ring of runaway girls “managed” by a mullah who served as head of the local court.

Men establish the duration of the period - from two hours to 99 years - they want to remain "married" to a woman. They are free from all obligation towards the woman once it expires Children of such unions are legitimate and entitled to a share of the father's inheritance. There are many jokes about how the Mullahs make use of this but reformers and feminists see it as a solution to the problem of pre-marital sex in Iran.

We drive into Qom at high noon to the dulcet tones of Celine Dion's "The Power of Love." We count mullahs the way American kids on a long road trip count license plates. When will we see our first one? There! And... there - that one's on a motor bike. Then we pass a madrassa (Koranic school) breaking for lunch and we give up for the street swarms with them.

After wandering around the square in front of the shrine (I don't go in because even the guide thinks that here that would be pushing it), the driver and I sit and await the guide. Apparently, it is auspicious for a Shia to go to the shrine at Qom after s/he has visited the shrine at Mashad, as we did earlier in the trip. We take a seat in the shade and the driver notices that the guy sitting next to us is reading an Arabic newspaper. While his Arabic is poor, he starts a conversation and learns that this guy is from Iraq. The Iraqi says that he likes Iran because things are so free here, which stuns the guide (until I point out that they have elections and some level of democracy which, although not perfect, if more then many countries). So the driver goes for it and asks the guy's opinion of Saddam - the guy says "he's crazy." I then tell the Iraqi that I am an American and he puts his hand over his heart in the characteristic gesture of welcome and smiles.

I take out my camera and one of the grizzled men hanging out on the next bench asks where I'm from. I say "America." He responds "South America?" I say "America, America" He smiles broadly and says "Welcome." I am, theoretically, in the most dangerous place in Iran and, as has been my experience everywhere, when people hear "America" they are surprised and smile more deeply in welcome.

Ali talks about the hard-liners with obvious disapproval.

I am the only tourist. The only American. The only Jew. The only woman not in all black. The only woman not in a chador.

When we are leaving we play the game of "who wants to live in Qom?" which is complicated by the fact that we all mis-understand each other and think the other is saying "who wants to leave Qom?" So we are each surprised when the other says "yes" until we clarify it. We cannot leave town fast enough. The guide tells me that there is graffiti in the men's room at the parking lot "Down with Khatami!" - but, we are in the home of the hard-liners so the sentiment is not unusual.

If a person comes to Iran to study at a madrassa, he and his family can stay as long as they’d like, and receive a stipend to live on. There are many Afghans in Iran who have taken advantage of this, living in Qom and other holy cities until it is safe to go home.

Since I might as well complete my bingo card, we stop at Khomeini’s shrine on the way back to Tehran. It is still under construction and is vast - I feel like I'm at an airport. We can't go in because it is mid-day prayers but it is enough to feel the place. We eat a heavily subsidized lunch at the on-site restaurant and I wander around looking for a button to buy "I ate lunch at Imam Khomeini’s shrine." I am, alas, disappointed.

Since my boss collects license plates and I try to give him one each Christmas, I have asked the guys whether it would be possible to score one. Alas, not. So I decide to photograph one - they are not yet standardized - that will come in 2002, so there is a variety to pick from. Looking for good light, I wander around the parking lot and start to shoot. The guide laughs and tells me that my first choice was the Islamic Religious Police or somesuch. I guess that if you're gonna do it, do it.

I am genuinely sorry to say goodbye to the driver, for I will have a different driver in Tehran. I know how lucky I am to have spent these days with these 2 guys - they have made my trip to Iran really special. I have lucked out - especially since they not only give me my freedom but, surprisingly, get my sense of humor. The driver sees what I photograph and laughs. I over tip the driver considerably - I feel his lack of economic opportunity more keenly then I expected to, given these many years of traveling in "developing" countries where opportunity is scarce. I wish there were more I could do for him. Both he and the guide are temps who are working for Iran Tourist only during the season - after that... I'm not worried about the guide - his family are all college educated, as is his wife, he owns a car - so while he struggles, he's in an entirely different situation then the driver who is so aware of the limits to his life. I feel his sadness when I tell him about social life for 20-somethings in NY and know he will never experience these mindless pleasures. I had hoped to have a farewell dinner with the guide, his wife and the driver but the guide lives 90 minutes south of the center, where my hotel is, and the driver lives to the north - and taxis are expensive.

Walking the busy shopping street near my hotel in Iran's characteristic crystalline light, I look into a jewelry shop window (Frank - still looking for that bauble for Carol, with no luck) and I see gold C'hais - the Hebrew symbol for good luck. There are also crosses and Islamic symbols but I know that this shop must be owned by Jews so I walk in and ask. The 3 men are and we talk briefly. They say there are "many" Jews in Iran - 3,000.

My last interaction with my guide was to show him the Internet.

I had told him about it at length over endless cups of tea but he couldn't conceptualize it. So, after the requisite Tehran sightseeing, we went back to my hotel. He was awed.

While his wife uses a PC at work and his brothers have them, he gave up on computers after a virus destroyed some information he had carefully input. But when he saw what was possible with a few key strokes: access to the days NY Times (no small issue in a country where information is controlled by the government), the NYC government Web site, email, Web cams of NYC (he wants me to send him photos of normal life in NY - once I figure out what that is...).

At the end of the hour, he resolved to buy a PC - probably not a Pentium (!) but something that would get him on to the net. I felt sorry that I can't send him my Pentium 166 when I upgrade - trade embargo. He said that he sees that the Internet is a window the world and understands what I told him about its addictive qualities. He said that it would give him something to do on the days when he has no tours (he is a temp). He has a satellite dish. But this will change his world.

And, when we said goodbye, as friends, not guide and tourist, he said that he would send me his first email. Years later, he did.

And so did Shah.

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  • 2001a: Iran
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